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When I was about 4 years old, I was hospitalized for several days because I battled with overwhelming anxiety.  I remember the hospital room, the way I would watch out the door when it was open to see who was coming.  They made me draw pictures and ran all kinds of tests.  I saw a child psychologist as well, and the best part was that my parents took me out to dinner afterward and I felt very fancy.  At the time I didn’t understand that something was wrong with me or that I was different from other kids.  My stomach hurt all of the time.  I used to make my father walk me around the house before bedtime to make sure that the stove was turned off, the front door was locked, and that my baby sister was breathing in her crib.  I would worry for hours about things that could happen to my family, to my house, to myself.  I vividly remember asking my dad what he would do in the event that someone broke into our house and tried to hurt us.  Did he have some kind of plan? Was he strong enough to overtake a burglar if he needed to?
I worried at school.  I worried that kids wouldn’t like me, that something would happen to my mom while I was away, that my sister would have to eat alone in the cafeteria (I actually broke the rules several times to sneak to the kindergarten side and sit with her until they would catch me and send me back to the second-graders).  
I just worried. I never wanted anyone to feel like they weren’t “taken care of,” and for my entire life, this pattern has remained constant.  When we were at Disney World recently, I walked into a little shop that I remembered from childhood.  All the stuffed animals were on the same wall that I had pictured them on in my memories.  I got so choked up remembering myself as little red-headed girl who stood in front of the Goofy dolls (he was my favorite), tenderly lifting one off the shelf and then feeling the overwhelming guilt that all the other ones would be sad because I hadn’t chosen them.  I would look at their faces and try to decide which was the most needy so that I could rescue him.  I vividly remember walking away with the “chosen” one and starting to cry because all the other ones must have felt abandoned. 
I refused to come down the stairs on Christmas morning when I was 5 because I was convinced that Santa didn’t find me worthy of toys. I hid under the covers and cried and cried until my dad brought me some red and white pom-poms from under the tree to prove that Santa had come, and that he had remembered me.  I have always had the feeling that I needed to be the rescuer, that I needed to keep people safe, that I needed to be good enough.  
I have never been able to completely shake these emotions.  They came with me to college, to graduate school, to marriage, to the delivery room, to the doctor’s office. To the ultrasound where I was told that my worst fears had been confirmed.  They walk beside me in the daylight and wake me in the night. Fear wraps itself around me and refuses to let go.  I can feel my fingers getting numb, my vision getting hazy, my breathing quicken, and I know it is upon me. But I believe now, years later, that this voice has a name, and he lurks in the shadows, waiting to devour.  I feel that I have been in the midst of spiritual warfare as I have walked this path, and I have constantly had to silence the enemy with the only word that can. I utter the name of Jesus as I get into bed, as I cry in the night, as I sense the evil that Satan has tempted me to believe.  Today he has sought me out.  To paint horrific images of tomorrow, to shake me to the core, to tell me that my Lord has no power to intervene now.  It is too late.
I have not made it out of bed today because I have so sensed the need to concentrate wholly on what I know to be true, even when I don’t feel it.  A few hours ago, I talked to God about what I was feeling, and I begged mercy for my doubts.  He reminded me gently of a man named Job, whom he loved and knew as a righteous, holy man whose heart was filled with His spirit.  He allowed Satan to test Job, to take away what was most precious to him.  Job walked through the depths of suffering, more than I can fathom.  I opened my Bible to his story, and asked God what it was that He wanted from me today, on the eve of the day where I have been called to anticipate the loss of my sweet daughter.  He spoke, as He always does.  I wasn’t necessarily expecting to hear what He said in that moment, as I wept openly before Him in the profound wake of sadness that surrounds me.
I want you to praise Me.

He didn’t ask me to praise Him because He was going to perform a miracle, although He knows that I would.  He asked me to praise Him because He will be the same tomorrow regardless of what happens to Audrey.  Is that hard for me to wrap my heart around? Yes.  Does everything in me want to protest letting someone else be in charge? Yes.  It has been my mode of survival since I was born.  My parents told me that moments after I was born, I lifted my head off my mother’s body and scanned the room.  I was probably making sure someone was going to bring me to the right place and that the doctor was well aware of what he needed to be focusing on in that moment.
I have a history of not letting someone else “take care of things.”  And now I am being called to praise the One who is allowing this season?  Who has taken every bit of control from me? Lord, I can’t even read a book without a highlighter in my hand.  I can’t let my children walk too close to the ice-cream man without hovering a foot away (although, in fairness, you would do the same if you met him.  Seriously creepy….).  Are you serious?
I sat in the silence.  I closed my eyes and thought about who He is to me.  What He has been to me, in the bitterness and in the joy.  I felt like He was beside me, waiting.  And in that moment, I felt myself rest.  My mind was still.  All I know is that without intending to, I smiled.  It was the most ridiculous thing you could ever imagine, unless you know what I know.  And I hope you do.
He is Lord.  Only He.  Not me, not Todd, not my doctors, not my parents.
He.
We don’t know what tomorrow will look like, how it will be remembered ten years from now. We can’t begin to imagine the road that lies ahead of us, but I know that I will remember today as being a day that I trusted Him despite the hurt.
I want you to know, especially if you do not know the Lord, that He is real.  This is not a fairy-tale coping mechanism that I rely on when I need to escape from reality.  It is not something I do because it’s nice to have a place to dress up for on Sunday mornings. It is my fervent prayer that somehow I can manage in this post to find a balance between not alienating people and sharing my heart. It’s just that I don’t know how people get through things like this without Him.  I can barely choose stuffed animals without having a heart attack, and today, because of Christ, I am filled with peace. I pray the same for each of you as you walk through your own life.  
One way or another, our daughter will be healed tomorrow.  Praise God with me tonight for this truth.
Your prayers, as always, are with me.  God has allowed my burden to be shared with so many “strangers” that I am overwhelmed.  This little girl has been loved deeply, richly, profoundly by many.  Thank you.  I know you will be with us tomorrow, and for that we are more grateful than we can express.
My friend Jess will be updating the blog tomorrow as things are progressing so that we can share specific prayer requests.  For today, please pray that we will be able to hear truth above fear, and that we will rest in knowing that truth.
With much love and great hope,
Angie

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  • Laura

    Praying that hope and truth would wrap around your heart and mind so tight. Praying as you walk through these days…loving you from far away. Thinking of you constantly….

  • Bickers Family

    you have been weighing heavy on my heart since I first saw your blog. I have asked friends and family to pray for you as well. we are all praying and hoping for the best!

  • Kelly

    Angie:
    I could have written this post. (Not the situation you are in) – but situations I’m in and my battle with fear and anxiety. I’ve had to tell Satan many times to get away because I know it is he who plants all the “what ifs” in my head that could drive me away from trusting God.
    You are an AMAZING writer and an amazing person. I know that tomorrow will probably be the hardest day you have ever had to face. I have no words to comfort or to understand…….but I serve the same Jesus who loves you and I will pray so hard tomorrow that He will hold you in his arms and dry your tears. I pray that He will restore you joy and give you comfort in the days to come. I pray that he will give you the peace that can only come from Him. I’m so glad you know Jesus. I don’t know how any person could make it through what you are going through without Him. I pray that you know that He loves you even though you have to walk through a dark time – He is with you.

  • Sara, mommy to Emily

    I don’t know how I found your blog, but I just read it all. I am praying with you, and will continue to read and pray for your family. I have a severly disabled child, and can feel your angst and anxiety in the writings.

  • Anonymous

    Please know , we will all be with you tomorrow. Our prayers will be lifting high ! There are no proper words for a time like this.
    I am so sorry you have to go through this. Audrey has touched each and every one of us , through you, her beautiful mommy. Love and prayers going out to you Todd and the girls tomorrow and every day thereafter!

  • The Bird Family

    You don’t know me – I found your blog through a friend. I wanted to tell you that you inspire me to become a better christian and mother. Your words make me cry and make me believe at the same time. I was raised a Christian but have strayed lately but seeing your faith in this hard time has inspired me to grow my faith! I will be praying for you tomorrow. You are right, He is good no matter what happens tomorrow…

  • Mary Tyler S.

    I found your blog through a friend and I am absolutely inspired by your story. Your family will be in my prayers tomorrow and in the coming weeks. Faith, Hope and Love – and the greatest of these is Love. Blessings.

  • Anonymous

    My heart and prayers are with you and yours. The accuser of the bretheren tries to get us at the quick. My prayer is that through the midst of tomorrow the Glory and Lifter of your head will hold you in his hand in ways previously unimaginable.

  • Mama Lorella

    Oh, Todd and Angie, may God hold you close tomorrow. We have been following your blogs and covering you with prayer. Angie, you have shared your journey with such openness and tenderness. We have been deeply touched by your posts. Last year I had an operation and a friend from Ghana sent a card with a picture of Jesus standing in the operating room directing the physicians. He will be there tomorrow, too. No little girl was ever loved more than your little Audrey Caroline.
    Love to you, “Aunt” Lorella and “Uncle” John

  • Julie

    Still praying…Thank you for sharing your pain and your hope. Praying for HIS perfect peace for your family tomorrow & always.

    ~Julie

  • Jodie

    I am so glad that while you struggle (and I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now), you KNOW that He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world! I will praise God with you and for you with a broken heart as I only imagine what this all must be like for you and your family. I’m so thankful that the Lord has given you the gift of faith to trust Him and that He is giving you a sense of peace and rest. I will continue to pray and ache for you.

    With much love from a sister in Christ….

  • Bridget =)

    you have been in my thoughts and prayers all weekend. God bless you with strength and peace.

  • Chatty

    Angie, we’ll be here, praying for you, Todd, and Audrey.

  • Vonda

    Wow! Every time I read your blog I walk away with a heaviness in my heart for you and your family, but with such an elightenment to how awesome our God is. Please know that many, many people will be lifting you up in prayer tomorrow. Thank you for sharing the depths of your heart with us.

  • Jessica

    love you

  • Robin

    You and your family will be in our prayers tonight and tomorrow.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    I know exactly what you mean about choosing a stuffed animal and not wanting the others to be sad that you did not choose them. I am sure this is why I have 4 totes full of stuffed animals and dolls from my childhood that I cannot part with. I dread the feeling of them feeling abandoned, even though I know that it is impossible for them to “feel” that, or anything at all. But they were there in my times of sadness and happiness in my childhood, and they never abandoned me. And just as they never abandoned me, so Jesus has never left me – and what a relief to know He is always there!

    I pray that as you meet your tiny sweet girl tomorrow, you will be filled with peace, and know that He, too, will not abandon you. Not ever. I know He will give you what you need to be strong.

    Closing with Colossians 1:9-12
    For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

    Praying for you this night, tomorrow, and the days to come.
    Katie

  • Anonymous

    HE is the lifter of your head. HIS LOVE and PEACE will sustain you. You ARE BLESSED!!!!!

  • Lindsey

    What an amazing post! I can relate to your anxiety. I have always been a worrier. And you are right, it is Satan. Thankfully Jesus is here to ease our worries.

    Your sweet Audrey will be born tomorrow, April 7th on a wonderful Spring day. I can not imagine your pain, concern, or heartbreak. I will continue to lift your family’s name in prayer. I will be praying for peace to continue to envelope you. I pray for your daughters, all 4 of them.

  • Pipsylou

    I so vividly remember our night before. I am praying that God will hold you in the palm of his hand. He will, and He is.

    I struggle with OCD and fear/anxiety. I saw myself in your words. Counseling at 7; intense guilt, crying all the time, fear of someone in my family dying. Now being older, it’s agony at times worrying about my children.

    I get so angry that I seem to be so mired in it, and have only recently realized that Satan loves to use this to drive me far, far away from He who longs to hold me in His tender grasp.

    I am praying for your family. I’m on my knees tonight.

  • Kara

    angie. i have been praying for you for days now, and my prayers are uplifted to you today, tonight, and tomorrow. may the Lord’s grace and countenance be upon you and Audrey tomorrrow.
    Christ has blessed you over and over, I am going to write you up on my blog tonight. if you have a chance to read it. please do. if not, i know that you are busy with many another thing.
    enjoy! and my prayers and thoughts are with you and your entire family.

  • the rye family

    wow – we serve an awesome GOD who can give you a SMILE today! :) praying for you tonight and tomorrow . . . our GOD is the same yesterday, today, and FOREVER. thank you for sharing so openly with us – I will check back many times tomorrow.

  • Anonymous

    Lifting you and your family in prayer. Our God is an awesome God. All of us have been touched by Audrey Caroline and pray for all of you tomorrow and in the days to come.

  • Anonymous

    I recently started reading your blog and having been praying for Audrey and your family. I work in high risk obstetrics and have witnessed the pain and unknowing some families go through when having a baby. You have an amazing faith, let it guide you tomorrow as you will finally meet your beautiful baby girl Audrey!

  • Erika

    Angie, I just started reading your blog recently & while I can’t imagine what you are going through now, I feel like I somehow know you. You sound so much like me. As a child, I did the same thing you described with choosing your Goofy & I still struggle with those fearful emotions. I am in tears reading your post because it is such an encouragement to me in my daily life & my struggle to completely and constantly surrender to Him and not allow Satan to have the victory of my worrying.
    Thank you for your encouragement. Please know that I have been praying for you & I will continue to pray for your peace and for little Audrey. For your entire family. You are an amazing person & such a testament to the Lord. You will truly be blessed.
    Many prayers & hugs,
    Erika

  • Amy

    Angie and Todd,
    You certainly have the prayers of the saints tonight and for a long time after. There is most definitely a peace that passes understanding when we invoke the name of Christ. We will praise Him in this storm with you.
    God bless each of you,
    Amy

  • Anonymous

    You have touched so many with your faith amidst this horrendous trial. You are “The Prisoner in the Third Cell” and know that God did not spare even His own Son, as painful as that was, so we COULD BELIEVE that He IS trustworthy with our very lives and those we love. Only He can bring beauty from these ashes, but He will. You are covered in prayer.
    Ellen from Michigan

  • Anonymous

    I’ve been thinking about you and prayed several times since finding your blog a few days ago.

    Tomorrow will be perfect and beautiful. Really.

    I’ve dealt with so many doubts myself and you’re right…it’s Satan whispering in our collective ears. Be strong in faith. I will pray that God envelopes all of you tomorrow and I know he will provide grace and strength.

    Enjoy meeting Audrey “in person” and soak every moment in as best you can. I’ll be sending peaceful prayers for all of you!
    Maddy

  • KELLY

    I’ve been praying for you and your family all weekend and will be lifting my face to heaven for you all tomorrow. Yes, Audrey will be healed one way or another, whether it’s here and we praise him, or whether he is glorified by her heavenly healing. We will still praise him. I have prayed all weekend for his peace to be upon you in unspeakable ways and that you will feel his mighty, unwavering presence tomorrow. Will be praying all day tomorrow and especially at 4pm. Much love to you, sister and family in Christ.

  • Amber

    Praying for you today and tomorrow. May he continue to pour blessings upon you.

  • Kathy

    Dear Angie,

    My thoughts and prayers are and will continue to be with you as your prepare for and live through tommorrow. I do believe that God will hold you, your family and especially Audrey in the palm of his hand and help you through your experience tommorrow and in the days to come.

    Thank you for sharing your faith so openly and continuing to be so candid about your journey with Audrey thus far. I am glad that you are feeling peaceful on the eve of delivering your daughter. I like how your spoke of Audrey being healed one way or another tomorrow. I am hoping and praying that you will have many special memories to hold onto after tommorrow. Hang in there.

    Take care and God bless, Kathy

  • Michelle Lanning

    praying for you

  • Collegegirl

    I was directed to your blog by a friend. I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family. I have no idea what you are going through, but for you to share your emotions is amazing! You are such a strong woman and I am praying for you as you walk your journey with God. Wishing you the best possible!

  • E

    Perfect love casts out fear! My prayers will continue to hit the heavens for you and it helps me to know specifically how to pray, as before I’ve only cried out your names. I, too, have struggled with similiar fear/anxiety issues as a young child. You’re so right. HE is enough! And no human could ever do what HE promises HE can do for you or your family. May you continue to feel His presence, His delight in you and His deep, unfailing love for you. You are precious to Him. Thank you for sharing this with the world. I’ve learned SO much through your journey in loving Audrey. You’ll continue to be heavy on my heart tonight and in the days to come. He is faithful!

  • Anonymous

    I believe HE will breathe for you tomorrow. HE IS THE BREATH OF LIFE.

    Blessings and Hope.
    -Missy

  • Tina

    Been praying and thinking of you all day Angie and will continue to.

    God bless you dear sister for sharing your tender heart so openly. It was a blessing to me today.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    I have been reading your blog for a few days now and just want to you to know that I think of you constantly and will be praying for you tomorrow. As a mother of three myself I know I could never be as strong as you are right now. Keeping you all in my prayers.

    Shannon

  • Amazing Racer

    Joining with you in prayer, sister in Christ.

  • mila in pa

    Angie and family~
    I continue to pray for you and hold you in my heart. Your journey and words continue to inspire and lead me to reflect. The Lord will continue to embrace you all tomorrow…. he will hold you close thru the uncertainty.
    God Bless You.

  • prissi

    Mmm. Sounds all too familiar, and that’s carried onto my life now even in my twenties, to the point where I’m not entirely certain that the patients I interact with would like to know that their student physician goes home and talks to her lonely pillows and blankies… but I digress.

    I will be praying for little Audrey tomorrow, and for you and Todd and your beautiful daughters as well. She will have that legacy, Angie… her little fingerprints are indelibly present on our hearts and minds… fingerprints through which we see the heart of the Father.

  • Wierenga Family

    Angie & Todd:

    Our prayers continue to be with you always. We are praying for your peace and your comfort: today, tomorrow, and in the days and weeks to come.

    Brian & Trish
    (Your friends from Crossroads UMC Washington, IL)

    Be still and know that He is God
    Be still and know that He is holy
    Be still, O restless soul of mine
    Bow before the Prince of peace
    Let the noise and clamor cease
    Be still
    - Steven Curtis Chapman

  • Sharon, Isabella’s Mommy

    Dear Angie,
    A dear friend of mine directed me to your blog a couple of months ago and I’ve been watching your journey ever since. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. I am praying for you and for sweet Audrey. Praise the Lord for His comfort and His peace! I pray you continue to be wrapped in His arms, throughout what lies ahead. May God bless you.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for sharing your faith and your trials with us. God is already using Audrey in a mighty way!!!! Just let our sweet Jesus CARRY you tomorrow. He loves you so and He loves Audrey even MORE than you can! You’ll be in my prayers all day tomorrow. May He hold you both very close! Isabel

  • Sandra

    I found your blog recently after a friend told me about it. While I do not know the pain you are feeling, I do know The One who can ease it. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers as you walk through this valley. May you feel God’s peace tonight and tomorrow and the days to come.

    Sandra

  • Anonymous

    With much love and prayers for you all tonight, tomorrow, and in the days to come.

    Becky
    Ohio

  • mommyO

    I don’t usually say much in church and I cried when I asked for prayers for you today. We had a wonderful service and my aunt was born again this morning.
    I just want you to know that we will be with you tommorrow, myself and my little church here in Arkansas.

  • Anonymous

    Angie, how I have thought about you and prayed for you in these past few weeks and this weekend. Sounds like God is answering many prayers in giving you the peace that comes only from Him.

    I think the same is true about Audrey as Rick Burgess (Rick and Bubba radio show) said a couple of months ago about the toddler son he lost. She is going to a Father that loves her more than even you can. Though you are left behind to mourn the passing of your beloved child, Audrey is so blessed to go straight to the arms of our loving Father.

    I listened to Selah’s song Press On today and thought of you. In Jesus’ name, we press on. You inspire me to do the same, and praise His name all the while.

    God’s peace, comfort and strength be with you and your family tomorrow and in the weeks to come.

  • Stacy

    Angie~ I have been thinking about you, Audrey, Todd & the girls for weeks now. I have been thinking about you & praying for you each day. I am amazed by your strength & faith through this season of your life. You have been such a testimony to how He alone is worthy of our praise!

    My prayers will continue you to be with you over the coming days!

  • Fran

    Praying for you all!! May He continue to be the presence and peace of your heart!!

    He is right there with you and loving you each step of the way.

    Hugs and prayers~
    Fran
    TN

  • Michelle, from MA

    I have been checking your blog daily for months, I feel even though we have never met I feel a connection, and I have and will continue to pray for you, your family and precious Audrey. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending warm thoughts and prayers your way and that you also find some peace, it may be a different “peace” than you knew before but I do hope you find some. With much love, god bless you and yours always

  • Alicia

    Praying for you all tomorrow…..for peace and comfort as only He can give.

  • Carrie

    Your description of the anxiety and fear describes me perfectly. I was exactly like that as a child, too, and I still struggle sometimes with anxiety.
    I have thought about you and your family multiple times this weekend (I just discovered your blog on Friday) and have prayed for you as well. I will continue to do so.
    You make such a good point.
    God is God. No matter what.
    I’ll check back tomorrow and will be praying!

  • Anonymous

    I am so glad that you were able to smile today. Please know that you are loved and being prayed for by many. Our God is an awesome God and He is there for you…..thank you for sharing your journey. I, too am a better mother and Christian because of you Angie. May God Bless you and your family always!

  • votemom

    you may not have the words to describe tomorrow for quite some time.

    there are times when our vocabulary just does not have the adequate words for such an intense, wrenching, yet holy experience.

    i have no doubt that when you meet your beautiful daughter tomorrow, the moment will indeed be holy. becuz He will be there in that room with you… just as He has been there in your womb with her.

    thank you for taking the time and extreme mental and emotional energy to share with us again today. i didn’t expect to find an entry today. but now that i have read it, there is no doubt that your words came directly from Him and He wanted them to be shared.

    He is God and He is good and He is utterly worthy of our trust. i’m so thankful you are leaning hard on Him and acutely knowing His presence and peace.

    Jesus. Amen.

  • AmyD

    I found your site just a few days ago through a friend. Thank you for sharing your story, your heart and your faith in the Lord. I am and will be praying for you and your family tonight and in the days to come. My heart goes out to you and is aching for you right now. The Lord is near to the broken hearted/heavy burdened. Praying for you all,
    Amy

  • Anonymous

    I found your blog through a friend of mine that has attended church with some of the members of Selah at First Presbyterian Church in Trenton, Mi. I have been moved to tears countless times while reading your blog. AS a mother of 3, I can only imagine the pain that you have been going through. You & your family have been in my thoughts this entire weekend & I, along with many others will be remembering you & sweet Audrey in my prayers tonight & tomorrow.
    Praying that God will give you comfort & peace, Carrie in MI

  • Peas on Earth

    I pray rest and hope and grace and peace to you, my sister in Christ. Thank you for glorifying God through your transparency. We will all be thinking of you and praying for you tomorrow and will be following your situation as Jess updates. In the POWERFUL name of JESUS,
    Sharon

  • Anonymous

    Angie and Family.
    I have just been introduced to your blog and it has truly shown me another side of God’s love. I pray for you and your family as you step out in faith tomorrow. It is my prayer that through the coming days you will see God’s face and cling to what He has and what He is offering you. The faith and trust that you have put forth through this blog is truly a gift. Thank you for being a blessing in your writing.
    May God’s peace surround you and your family tomorrow and through all your days. My prayers are with you.

  • Laurie

    My prayers are with you tonight and through the day tomorrow that this peace will fill you to overflowing as you meet Audrey. I pray for an easy delivery and for blessings. Jesus loves you and He will be right there with you every breath you take. Trust Him with all you have Angie, He loves you so dearly. Peace for your husband and for your 3 precious girls. My prayers won’t stop.

    Laurie in Ca.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    You are a truly amazing and strong woman. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow and in the days to come.

  • Christian Family

    Prayers are being lift up for your family!
    As with so many others…you don’t know me, but you have touched my heart in a way that is truly remarkable! Thank you for your willingness to share such raw emotions…and yet at the same time encourage and lift up so many…setting an example of a mother, wife, and most of all CHRIST follower. You are truly an angel and I know God is smiling down at you…so proud of your honesty and compassion!

  • Anonymous

    I do not know you. But I am praying for you. Perhaps if God chooses for her to be healed in heven our daughters can find each other and be friends.
    My daughter’s earthly body was not enough to be able to bring her into the world, but I know in heaven she is complete and that I will know her when I get there.
    But perhaps till then she will have some great companions.

  • The Williams

    We have never met but I have been keeping up with your blog. I have asked for prayers on my blog for you and your family. We will be praying for you and Audrey tonight and tomorrow. I pray that God will heal her and give you comfort.
    God Bless,
    Tracy

  • DeAnne

    Angie,

    I have been thinking about you all day and praying for you to find peace. I do not know you but being a woman and a mother I knew that you needed all the extra prays and positive energy that we could send your way today. I wish that there was something that we could do for you. My heart is heavy and I will be praying and thinking of you tomorrow.

    Remember that you have created this special angel that will always be with you, Todd and the girls on a daily basis. God knew what he was doing and needed Audrey to become that special angel in his kingdom. You were choosen to be her mommy and I do think that God made the best choice. You are a remarkable women and a very strong woman to not waiver from your faith in God. I have looked up to you in many ways.

    Please TRY and get some sleep tonight, I will continue to pray and think of you.

    God Bless you,
    De Anne

  • Anonymous

    Praying for you and your family through this time. You are such an inspiration. I pray for joy and peace in the coming days.

  • So Blessed

    I am praying for your precious family to be filled with the peace that only our loving Father can give. Indeed, He will carry you.

  • Kathleen

    I am praying that you will feel Gods grace, peace, and love, more than you ever have. We may not know what God has planned for us but one thing is for sure …….HE has a plan. God bless you tonight with rest.

  • Farrah

    I came across your blog while looking over some of Selah’s lyrics and songs and have been compelled to check for updates ever since. You are so very strong in your messages through ‘this storm’. GOd bless you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Jiggy

    Angie & Todd (And beautiful girls), You all have been heavy on my heart for days. I am lifting you before the throne. I know that tomorrow will be a difficult day for you all and I know that He is going before you and hemming you in on all sides. Prayers and love to you all. Jiggy

  • Darlene R.

    I will be praying for you all tomorrow. I pray that you will have overwhelming peace.

    God bless you and your family in the days and weeks to come.

    Love and Hugs~
    Darlene – Indiana

  • bas

    I will be praying for you, as I have been since i found your blog. I can’t tell you how much you have affected me. I lift you up to Him, in prayers and thoughts. He is the controller, and He must be up there rejoicing in your obedience to His directions. Your faith in Him is awesome, and I am blessed by having known you in some small way.
    God, please hold Angie, Todd and the girls, all four in your awesome hand, cradle them protectively in your mighty love, tomorrow and always. I give you all praise for your mercy and grace.
    In Christ’s love
    Beverly

  • Jim and Jaena

    I am – and will be – praying.

  • Sarah

    I have been praying for you this whole weekend, for indescribable peace, for a miracle for Audrey according to God’s perfect will, and for joy, even in what may possibly be your deepest sorrow. To hear you already experiencing that peace and joy is such a testament to our Father’s amazing love! How would we ever face the trials of life without Him, TRUELY?! Goodnight sweet sister. May your covers feel more like our Savior’s arms tonight. Tomorrow there will only be one set of footprints in the sand, because tomorrow He will carry you.
    Love, Sarah

  • Erika

    Your duaghter has been givin more love than some children ever have in their whole life time. Your family was in my prayers today and I will continue to pray for you tomorrow.

  • Anonymous

    Praying for you as you face whatever tomorrow brings. I just found you blog tonight. I was looking for the words to a song and my search lead me to Selah’s site, where i found the link to your blog. I’ve read it start to finish. And while it brought tears to my eyes, it was such an amazing blessing and encouragement to me! God is using you thru this difficult painful time to be a blessing to others. Thank you for your faithfulness to Him! I pray for His comfort and strength tonight and tomorrow and thru the coming days.

  • Amy

    I’ll be praying for you, Todd and sweet Audrey tomorrow…

    I too have struggled with fear for the majority of my life. It has only been in the past two years that I have experienced deliverance from it’s grip. I will be praying that our Lord fills you with His peace as well.

  • Carrie

    I wanted to let you know that you have been heavy on my heart today, and I have breathed many little prayers for you as I washed my dishes, went to church, etc. etc. You are truly never alone with God and so many prayer warriors on your side.

    I struggle with anxiety myself – very similar to what you described. In fact pretty much identical, so your describing that placed me right in your shoes and I could almost feel that burden with you. Isn’t it crazy how you – at one of the very lowest times in your life, had such beautiful and powerful words to remind me that the anxiety I am feeling now with my mother battling with cancer, is spiritual warfare. Sometimes I try to fight my anxiety with non-spiritual methods, and resort to God last. Which is totally the opposite of what I should do. Thank you once again for being a willing and open vessel, even when many others wouldn’t be.

    Hugs.

  • Pam

    Praying for you, Angie and Todd. He is so faithful and so utterly ABLE – I know He will give you all you need to cherish every moment of the day tomorrow.

    Breathing his name constantly over your family….

  • Bethany

    Will continue to be praying tonight and all day tomorrow…also praising the Lord for the peace He showed you today.

  • ET

    I have been reading for a couple weeks, never feeling the need to comment b/c I can see that there are so many wonderful people who’ve already captured my heart for you. But today I sense the Lord telling me to pray, and to write my prayer…

    Abba, Daddy, Creator of Heaven and Earth. I praise you for this family and for the way that they trust in You and honor You, even in their deepest trial. Thank-you Lord, for the peace that is beyond all understanding, and thank-you for filling Angie with that peace. Oh Jesus, every step, every moment, every heart-wrenching second of tomorrow…be with each one of them – Angie, Todd, Audrey, Kate, Ellie, and Abby. Pour out Your Holy Spirit so thick and heavy that even the doctors and nurses can sense You. Dear God, please don’t let them go, not for a moment. Hold precious Audrey in the palm of Your hand, and heal her body in the way that is best. We trust You to know what’s best, even when there is no way we can understand. We trust You Jesus. You were. You are. And You will be forever. Bless Your Name. Amen.

  • Liz

    Angie & Todd,
    I will fall asleep tonight praying for you & will spend my afternoon tomorrow praying for peace & joy for your home. I don’t know you personally, but I feel like I do. Your honesty & transparency is hard to not fall in love with. Thank you for sharing who you are and what your heart is feeling no matter what. We all love you & are praying for you unceasingly tonight & tomorrow.

    Liz Reeves, Whitehouse TX

  • Angie

    Just want you to know that people are praying for you and your family from far away. I live in Adrian MN and heard about your situation from a Sioux Falls SD radio station. No words can take away from pain but know that we are praying for you and this very hard situation that you are going through and will be faced with tomorrow. I pray that Jesus wraps his arms around you and your family and little Audrey. She has not even been born yet and is teaching all of us a life lesson. She will live on!!!! Your writting inspires me, it is beautiful. This is such a tough time but truly a time to turn to Jesus for the stength. He loves you and your family and Audrey and he will get you though this. We will be praying for you all.

  • Jan

    My love and prayers are with you all this evening and especially tomorrow and the days ahead of you!

  • us.

    just know i’m praying for you & will be especially tomorrow – where are you located so i’ll know when it’s 4pm your time? – praying you continue to feel comforted & expecting a miracle in your family

    lori
    http://fromourbunchtoyours.blogspot.com/

  • Faith Hope Love Mama

    These are some of my favorite verses. I will be praying for you tomorrow and for the days to come.
    Blessings.

    “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
    Romans 12:12

    “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10

    “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”1 Peter 5:6-7

  • Simone

    I only stumbled across your blog a week ago. I was reading on a parenting web site, about a woman who had some questions on behalf of her sister-in-law’s potentially unhealthy pregnancy. Ordinarily, I fly through the posts looking for only the relevent ones. This was not relevent in the literal sense, because I hadn’t been through that experience. But it was relevent in that I am a mother, and every mother knows the deep love that grows for your unborn child from the moment of conception. I believe, that I was sent to find you, Angie. To learn from you. To be inspired by you. By your faith, your praise, your willingness to share so that others may know what true faith is. And to offer my own prayers. I know God is with you. I wish for you and your family strength and peace. I will be thinking about you tomorrow.
    Simone

  • Laura Smith

    Angie- I am praying for you so fervently tonight! I hope that you can cherish every single moment with your beautiful baby girl. I hope you will be able to praise our Lord for his mercy and peace during this trial. We love you and feel that you are part of our family although we have never met. I hope that one day I will have the chance to meet Audrey, on Earth or in Heaven! She is inspiring!

  • Jen

    I’m friends with John and Sandy and have been reading your journey this past week. I think of you many times throughout each day – and I pray. I’m praying for you right now and will continue to do so.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    Hurting with you. I’m celebrating my daughter’s 2nd birthday in heaven today, 4/6. You are absolutely right . . . one way or another Audrey WILL be healed tomorrow. I pray that His peace will overwhelm you tonight and tomorrow and all the days ahead. I have clung to Psalm 40:1-3 and seen it come to pass in my life. He is still good.

  • Jane-Jane

    took me awhile to get through this post…satan lurks often in my thoughts trying to destroy works that are of God. So I can sooo relate to your need to control from a young age.
    When I finished reading this post, All My Praise was playing….I can’t tell you how many times I have clung to the words of that song.
    Thank you for being open and honest with us. It’s NOT easy, I do know that. I do know, as you do, that He is the one that carries us.

    I’m praying my heart out for you and your family.

    Thank you for allowing us to give back to your family. Selah/Todd has given so much to us, it is an honor to pray for you.

    And remember…satan does not worry about those that are pew warmers… he is after those that are making a difference. Keep on making a difference for the Kingdom.

  • nursemummy

    just wanted you to know that this nurse is praying hard for you and your family.

  • us.

    “what i have said, that will i bring about & what i have planned, that will i do!”

    isaiah 46:11

    rest in this…

  • Dobbie and Papa

    You are constantly on my heart..I can not let go of you and your family! As you say and as we believe your baby Audrey will be healed..and Christ will be at your side with your husband as your hearts beat together as one. The old old song! He!…can calm the angry sea…Oh, we believe! and we do bear your burdens..

  • The Powell Family

    I am a stranger praying for you tonight-a stranger, yet your sister through this. I have no words, but I know that the Lord is hearing my heart groaning for your family and especially for Audrey. With love..lori

  • KimAbraham

    Continuing to keep your family in my prayers. God bless you and Audrey’s legacy!

    Psalm 46:

    God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
    Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah

    There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

    Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

  • the parental unit

    God’s blessings and His peace be with you and your family tonight and tomorrow Angie! No matter the outcome, your friends and family will be there for you just as He is, has been and always will be!!
    All our love and prayers are with you.

  • Anonymous

    I have been following your blog for weeks now and want you to know that I prayed for you this morning at mass!
    Wendy from Canada

  • Anonymous

    I have an app. with God tomorrow it is even set in my calendar … tomorrow a group of mine friends (some are as far as Cuba , they know of you situation and will be praying too) and I will be in prayer for you …
    May God Bless you always
    Your sister in Christ ..
    Damarys

  • Anonymous

    Your whole family will be on my heart and in my prayers tomorrow. I’m praying for His peace to wrap around you all like a warm blanket.
    Teri in Houston

  • kristen lorenze

    Angie, I just found your blog a few days ago, but you have been heavy on my heart ever since I read it. I stayed up until 4am in the morning reading your story the other night…the entire thing. Tomorrow at work, I will be thinking and praying about Audrey. thank you for sharing your beautiful honest heart.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am praying for you tonight and will be tomorrow and days there after. It is really inspiring how you are praising our Lord through this season in your life. I hope you know that you are teaching us all more than you know by sharing your life with us. I don’t even know you, but you have inspired me with your strenth and your reliance on our Father. I pray you feel Him holding you as you go through these next days. We will all be praying for you!

  • Suzanne

    I just found your blog a few days ago & I’m so glad I did. Your strength amazes me. You and your sweet family have been in my thoughts and prayers this past weekend and will remain there.

  • Jenn @ Munchkin Land

    We will be praising God with you tomorrow. Take comfort that around the world, the body of Christ will be uplifting your family in prayer tomorrow. May His name be glorified through Audrey’s life.

    You, especially, will be in my prayers. Even with the best of intentions, you are still a mother and this is not our eternal home. This will hurt and I will be praying for your strength and peace.

  • Monica

    Dear Angie,

    You will be in my prayers tonight, tomorrow, and the days and weeks to come.

    Thank you for sharing your post regarding your anxiety issues; I have dealt with the same thing for many years and it’s always nice to know that you’re not alone. The story about the stuffed animals gave me a chuckle as I used to do the *exact* same thing as a child.

    May God watch over and protect you. Big cyber ((hugs)) from CA.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,

    I’m praying. My husband is praying. Our church is praying. Our friends are praying. Our families are praying. Everyone we know is raising you up to Jesus, begging for Audrey’s healing and for your perfect peace. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a hug, but I know Jesus is hugging you tightly through each suffocating moment of uncertainty. I love you in Christ and I will continue to pray for you, Todd, Audrey, Ellie, Abby, and Kate.

    Love,
    Amber Benge

  • christy p

    Wow. I have been reading your blog for some time now…and when you moved up the date of your daughter’s birth I put it in my mental calendar. I can’t tell you how many times I have thought of you today, KNOWING that tomorrow is the day. I hope you have many blessings, and happy surprises tomorrow. Your unwavering faith is amazing. I hope it is catching…

    Praying for you and your family.

  • capitoldiver

    Heavenly Father, I ask that you go with our sister tomorrow and give her the peace she needs to know you are with her, and she is not alone. If it is your desire to welcome Audrey home into your loving arms, please give comfort to the family who releases her from theirs. I cannot being to understand why this is happening, but I just pray that these people (who I have never met) will find strength in your Word. May Psalms 23 be their rock. I ask that you hold the hand of these dear people and give them complete victory, because we don’t know what tomorrow holds, but we do know that YOU hold tomorrow. Please let someone’s life be touched through this and that you are glorified. Lord, we do know you and you alone can make a difference, and if it be your will, please hear our prayers. In Jesus’ name I pray. We praise you for the victory… AMEN

  • mykidsmomx4

    I will be praying tomorrow as I am tonight as I head for bed. Praying for a miracle whether it be one of physical healing for that precious baby, or one of emotional healing as her family continues to praise God in all things.

    “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genisis 50:20

    You are saving lives. Your strength and love of God, and your ability to share about Him and His work in your life in terrible, horrible times is show people what God is and what He can do.

  • Anonymous

    Many, many prayers …

  • Kate

    Angie
    I have just read your entire blog and find your words inspiring, your journey uplifting and getting to “know” you an honor.

    You are a beautiful child of God and no matter what happens with little A, you will be blessed beyond belief for trusting in Him.

    Prayers and Hugs for God’s plan and strength to get through!

    ~Kate

  • Anonymous

    Angie, I’m crying as I read this, because of the beauty of what you’ve shared: Either way your daughter “will be healed tomorrow.” It brings new meaning to the verse, “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” We will praise God for earthly miracles, but we will also praise God with you, if she gets to experience the presence of the eternal God tomorrow. Praise God that we don’t grieve as those without hope. Much Love and Many prayers for you and your family, Erika and the Whites

  • Anonymous

    hello, i am 18. i know nothing about the love a mother has for her child, or what you could possibly feeling right now. what i do know, however, is your faith in the Father inspires me and keeps me reading this every day. i wish with my whole heart that little audrey could be healed, and that if that is impossible, your family will someday find peace. you are in my thoughts and prayers although i may not be able to relate as well as others. what an amazing woman you are!

  • Anonymous

    Dear Angie, Todd & Audrey,

    i want you all to know that you have touched my heart in ways i thought impossible. Angie & Todd, your words & Christ-like attitudes have become sutures in my wounded heart… the healing can begin. Thank you for walking the walk & talking the talk… thank You, God.

    Audrey – i love you very much, and i am looking forward to meeting you when i get up to Heaven. Thank you for staying here for as long as you did- you helped many people while you were here. you helped me, and i am eternally grateful. Love you!

    Angie & Todd- one last thing. this wicked old hymn has kept coming to mind whenever i have prayed or thought of you. i hope it reassures you both… especially Angie since you struggle with feeling you are responsible to take care of everyone. (we must be twins!) Be blessed & rest in His promise to take care of you…all of you.
    Vs. 1
    Be not dismayed whate’er betide; God will take care of you.
    Beneath His wings of love abide; God will take care of you.
    Refrain:
    God will take care of you,
    thro’ ev’ry day, o’er all the way. He will take care of you;
    God will take care of you.
    Vs. 3
    All you may need He will provide;
    God will take care of you.
    Nothing you ask will be denied;
    God will take care of you.
    (Refrain)
    Vs. 4
    No matter what may be the test, God will take care of you.
    Lean, weary one, upon His breast;
    God will take care of you.
    (Refrain)

    Love to you all. My church prayed for you specifically today, and you are also on our church prayer chain. You are not going in alone & unsupported my friends. And, God is the One Who will/can take the best care of you… including Audrey!
    Grace & Peace to you today & throughout the whole tomorrow,
    carrie lynne from Selah’s Guestbook

  • Adrienne

    It is true that walking through life, no matter the circumstance, is impossible without Him. Without a doubt, He will be with you all tomorrow as you meet Audrey face to face, as He has been thus far. I pray that His peace would fill your hearts and minds, that each moment would be blessed and captured in your hearts forever. He will carry you…

  • Kim

    As one of your many “strangers”, I am praying for you, my dear. Peace be with you and your family.

  • Joy

    Visiting from another blog. I just want to say that the story of Job was exactly what I would’ve reminded you of if God hadn’t reminded you Himself. Let Him shower you with His peace which surpasses all understanding!!!

    Anxiety is definitely from the devil to distract you from God. Trust HIM and trust that no matter the end result, He is still on the throne! God bless you!!! I couldn’t help but smile and cry through this post. YOu are a sweetheart!

    I also feel as though God has this message for you: “He sees your heart and is pleased!”

  • Anonymous

    Your story is weighing heavily on my mind, and I will continue to lift you up in prayer. Throughout your roller coaster of emotions tomorrow know that many, MANY people will be lifting you up. God bless you and your family.

  • Christina

    The winding path of blogs I read brought me here tonight. And I am just in awe of the fact that here on the eve of such a difficult and momentous day in your life, you have ministered to me so much through this blog. Truly God is using you to do great and mighty things. And I can’t help but pray that he will work a miracle for you and for Audrey. But if he does not… I know that still he will do a great and mighty thing in you and in Audrey and tomorrow will be a blessed miraculous day, regardless of the outcome.
    My prayers are with you and your family tonight.

  • Lindsay/aggiebonfire00

    Thinking of you and your family tonight as you prepare for the uncertainties of tomorrow. I wish I could trade places with you so that you did not have to endure this. Lifting you up in prayers.

  • Anonymous

    Todd and Angie,
    My heart is breaking for you. Even though we, as Christians, believe that God has purpose in ALL He does–it does not take away the pain. I pray that God will bless you, Todd, and your girls with blessings so mighty!
    As I sit here tonight on the 2 year anniversary of my mothers death, I remember telling her, “No matter what Mom, you will win this battle.” Of course, at that moment, I knew we would be taking her home with us. Now I know that Our Lord Jesus Christ has her sitting with HIM in her eternal home!!
    I tell you this as encouraging words, “No matter what, you will win this battle!” Gods plan, purpose, and unconditional love is right every time.
    Much Love and prayers to you all as well as all the Dr.s, nurses, business office workers, tech’s, custodians…etc… and everyone else whom you come in contact with tomorrow.

  • Cori

    Praying without ceasing…my heart is heavy for you. Praying that you will feel God’s loving arms around you.

  • Anonymous

    You are very strong and your story is inspiring. Praise the Lord for choosing you to tell Audrey’s story. You have found favor with God. God bless you and I will pray for your family as you all embark on the next leg of your journey to draw nearer to Him. Let God carry you. He loves you so much!

  • Carol

    Today, I have welcomed home our beautiful granddaughter just born 2days ago, I have gone to KNWC to find out why Selah was not able to come to Sioux Falls, I have read your entire story, I have cried for you and your strength, your love, your trust, and your loss. I have cried for me and thanked God for this beautiful new life we have been given. A friend of mine just lost her newborn and I grieved for her and with her. I attended the Point of Grace concert tonight and the entire auditorium was in prayer for your family. NO ONE should have to go through what you are. NO ONE should have to make the decisions you are making. It doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. I don’t understand. You don’t understand. No one understands. It just is. I am thinking of you and your family. Hug your girls. Hang on to your husband. Love your baby. Love your God, and know that because of his Grace, you will know that your daughter is loved and cared for and will be waiting for you one day. Oh, what a glorious reunion that will be. A friend of mine once said of a loss like yours, “it will be an extra special gift when you get to heaven.” It makes Heaven all the sweeter….Thinking of you without ceasing…..

  • Nicole

    I have asked friends and family to pray for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you tomorrow. I too suffer from anxiety so can understand things you wrote. (((hugs))) and standing in prayer for your family tomorrow. Our God is an awesome God and He will give you strength and peace tomorrow and He will be right there with all of you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us and your sweet little Audrey has touched so many already…

  • Katie

    Angie: I will definitely be praying for you and your family. Have you read any Karen Kingsbury books? The book Summer is part of a series but one of the story-lines is very similar to yours. It’s so encouraging to see your faith throughout this situation. Gods was are not our ways, but His purpose will prevail.

    Katie

    2 Cor 12:8-10

  • Kristi

    May you feel His love like a warm embrace during the darkest of thunderstorms. My most sincere prayers have been with you and will continue to be with all of you as His truth is revealed. Try to take in every moment and every inch of His pure blessing and perfect creation of sweet Audrey.

  • Rossman7000

    We are confident that God will wrap His arms around you and your family this day. Audrey has already touched the lives of thousands! We will be praying for your family all day.

    -Much love, Ross, Cathy and the kids

  • Vicky

    Praying…

  • Emily

    I am praying Psalm 139 over you all night tonight and all day tomorrow. I cannot wait to hear all about your sweet heavenly girl. I know one thing and that is that you are in for the most sacred day of your life, bar none. I know because I had my own last summer. His grace will be sufficient for you, sweet friend. Thank you for being faithful to the call.

    Praising God for your fourth daughter’s LIFE tonight….

  • Anonymous

    Something told me to check for a new blog tonight before bed and I’m glad that I did since the date had changed for Audrey’s Birthday. The connection with the 4:7 was shown to you for a purpose. What great bible words to keep within you right now. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.

  • Emily

    I forgot to mention this just now. Someone told me, when I was losing my own daughter last summer, something I will not soon forget and I would like to pass it along to you. When I sitting in the chair in her hospital room and crying, saying I could not do it any longer, my precious friend and the minister to children in our church took my hands and said, “You can. You can do this. You were anointed for this, precious one.”

    You were anointed for this, Angie. Audrey Caroline was created for such a time as this. Your God will not let either of you go. This time, he will be the one to take care of every detail. You are merely anointed to follow. And you are the only one in all the world and in all time to be the mother to this amazing child of God. Be incredibly blessed today, my anointed friend.

  • LizG

    I’m thinking of you today and sending you our love and prayers

  • Becky

    I was directed to your blog through another blog that I was reading tonight. You are in my prayers! I have had two friends go through similar circumstances. One of them just lost her daughter this past week. Thank you for sharing your story and for your testimony of who God is – yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. I am sure this testimony will/has touched the hearts of so many. It takes a strong person who truly trusts God to be able to share as you have.

  • Carol

    God bless you, dear Angie! It is because God’s unfathomable love for little Audrey that He chose for her the most amazing mommie He could find. I will be praying for you and Todd, and for Audrey, tomorrow. My heart breaks for you, but I will praise God with you that He is in control.

  • Sarah

    You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. May God be with you tomorrow to give you comfort and peace.

  • Monika

    You are so far from my country, but so close in my heart, because Lord is our Father and we are his children.

    I´m with you and little Audrey in my prayers. Be strong today!!!

  • Tabitha

    I have only recently come to your blog, but I will be keeping you in my thoughts and praying for you and for precious Audrey X

  • Duncan Family

    I am a friend of Laura Bickers. She sent me an email asking for prayers. I felt the need to check out your blog and I am so glad I did. I am up in the middle of the night complaining because I can’t sleep because my healthy baby inside me is keeping me up. Boy, did I need this amazing reality check! God is good all the time. All the time God is good! You will be on my mind tomorrow and I pray that your peace stays strong!
    Nadia Duncan

  • Andrea

    Just wanted to let you know that although this is my first comment, I have stumbled upon your blog recently and am amazed at your steadfast faith and your ability to convey even the most complex emotions into beautiful words. I will be praying for you and for your baby girl — you are an inspiration, truly. God bless you.

  • Annie

    Praying for you tonight and tomorrow. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. One of my prayers for you all during this time is that God will give you peace. I’ll be checking in tomorrow so I can pray specifically about whatever comes up.

    Love in Christ,
    Annie

  • Ruth

    I’m praying for you. Jesus is holding you and carrying you through this time, just as He is holding and carring for Audrey. . . May you feel His close presence today.

  • donna

    Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yes I wil help thee; yea, I wil uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness Isaiah 41:10

    praying for all
    donna

  • petrii

    Angie,
    As I woke up this morning, you were on my heart; so I prayed. As I sat down to start my studies the Lord impressed upon my heart to check your blog. Wow, my dear one, you are a profound writer; your ability to put in writing your feelings is a gift. I will be lifting you, Todd and baby Audrey up in prayer today, again and again. God is with you today, tomorrow and forever. As you walk through the next few hours, days, weeks and years, I know that the God of all comfort, peace and miracles will be your guide and hope. I Praise God that He is the I Am!!
    In Christ Alone,
    Dawn

  • ~~ Hollie Lisk~~

    Lord I pray that they will know truth above fear and can praise you in all times, good and sad.

    Amen.

    And just for the record….I’m with you on the stuffed animal thing! I did that too!

    Hollie

  • Heather

    Praying for you, your husband and your girls today!

  • Cassie

    Much prayer is going out for you and your family today…Our God is Good, and he is in charge of ALL things….

  • Anonymous

    Angie,I was given your blog address by the radio a month or so ago. I have been reading since and sharing w/others and praying at all times for you,Todd,Audrey and your other 3 beautiful girls. To say you have been a blessing to not only me but to so many others is an understatement. I so wish I could meet you someday and get to know you even more. Praying that our Father above wraps his arms and love around all of you today.I can’t even begin to imagine.Forgive me for my ramblings but I feel so overwhelmed for all of you today.God will be w/you right there today though I know.Praying all day and on for all of you. Pam

  • Erica

    Oh, it is a deeper, darker valley that you walk than we even knew. I imagine that, for someone who suffers from axiety, this is tortuous indeed. I praise God that He is being your light…that He is teaching you how to rest in Him. That He is FAITHFUL. Oh, Lord, I join Angie and her family in praising your Holy Name in the midst of fear, uncertainty and sadness. You are an amazing, loyal and merciful God and I pray that you would open up the heavens for this family and rain down blessings unsurpassed in the next few days, so that when they remember this time sweet Audrey and her faithful God are all they see. Bring them joy, Lord, in the midst of this pain…Thank you for being there for them.

  • Marc and Charity

    I can so relate on the deepest level about fear and anxiety. Bless you for writing this post. i’m praying right now.

  • Anonymous

    I am praying for you today, for a safe delivery, smooth recovery, time with your precious daughter and perhaps even a miracle! Be blessed, feel loved, and know so many are praying for you.

  • Lori

    We are praying for all of you this morning! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers all day. Thank you for sharing your story with us! You are such an inspiration and you have blessed all of us. Much love to you today!

  • Aimee

    Your writing is such a blessing to read. I am praying for you and your family today and in the days to come. I pray God will surround you with his love and grace. God has a beautiful plan laid out for your precious baby girl.

  • Anonymous

    Praying for you.

  • Michelle

    your words in this awful time are amazing, reassuring, and awe-inspiring. I hope I can someday have this kind of faith. Praying for you all today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Brandon & April

    Just finished my first of many prayers for you guys and your sweet little one today! Praying for the Lord to bless and keep you today. Praying that HE will be holding you tightly, catching your tears, and keeping the enemy from taking your thoughts/minds captive as God’s will is done today.

  • Anonymous

    Just wanted you to know that there are many moms on the Hearts-at-Home.org ecommunity that are praying for you.

  • Michele

    My prayers are with you and your family today. I can’t imagine what you will be feeling today but, what I do know is that Jesus will be there with you to comfort you. Find peace in him b/c that is all we really have.

  • HoltonFamily

    Thank you for praising Jesus in the midst of your suffering… it is a wonderful testimony… and it is my sincere prayer that God will use it for his good.

  • Q’s NEWS

    You are heavy on my heart today and I pray that the Lord will carry you & Todd through today with peace. I pray for Audrey to be pain free and comfortable and for God to work through the surgeon doing your C-Section today. Of course I pray for a miracle first, but that God’s will be done as I know it will be. I hope 4:00 comes quickly for you and I pray for the 3 precious little girls who will be at home waiting on you to come back. They are so precious and I feel like I have come to know them through your postings and videos.

    I, like you, have experienced major anxiety so I know exactly how it feels. I pray for you to be anxiety free today and that God will replace that anxiety with a peace that passes all understanding.

    You are loved and we are all standing in the gap for you today!

    Love from WV,
    Susan

  • Jody

    I was wakened in the wee hours of this day 4/7 and turned my prayers to God for you. At 3:27. And at 4:07. And again at 7:47. I know and understand how a heart can sing and ‘praise God’ even in the darkest valley. I lifted up my own voice while some of my family lay in ICU beds with ugly prognosis’ and yet my heart couldn’t help but praise the God who I know was loving me {us} through our deepest pains and who has healed us and shown us His might, glory and power. All through suffering.
    I too have wondered time after time, how people get through trials and tragedy without the Hope and Peace that only comes in knowing Christ. I am so glad that you have this Hope and that you have been filled with peace.
    I am praying more today. Thank you for sharing your Hope with others. May you be blessed always because of the precious gift of Audrey in your life.
    Love and prayers for you, Todd and all your family.

  • Anonymous

    Praying for you in Clare, Michigan. May you be granted peace.

  • Alice

    Praying without ceasing all day today…

  • RitaS

    Dear Angie,
    I found your blog Friday night after seeing a link on a scrapbooking message board I belong to. I read with great sadness, and then with disbelief to realize your Todd is Selah’s Todd. I have met Todd twice while organizing concerts at our church and this makes your story hit home all the harder. Sometimes we have no answer for why things happen the way they do, but God is with us through every moment. Your faith is so very strong and I praise God for that. In this great time of darkness in your life you are a witness to the Light and God’s power in your life. I am praying for a miracle for Audrey – I cannot give up hope on that possibility. But I know that because you and Todd have a Christ-centered marriage you wil come out stronger through all of this, even though you are feeling so very broken at this moment. God will carry you through, and raise you up on eagle’s wings. So many are lifting you and Todd, and your precious girls in prayer right now, you are loved in the Body of Christ. HUGS!!

  • Allison

    I am praying on my face for you, Todd, Audrey and the girls. I am so thankful you felt His peace yesterday. I hope that today is filled with Him. I know it will be. I know it will be.

    “I will trust and not be afraid”. Isaiah 12:2

    In Christ,
    Allison

  • The Harper Family

    On my knees this morning lifting you up to the throne! You will me in my constant prayers today.
    Lori
    Southwest Arkansas

  • Linda Cumby

    You do not know me…but I have been following the blog and have been SO touched. I will be praying for you today and in the days to come. HE is in control.

  • Anne Marie

    You are an inspiration…Praying for strength and courage, eternal hope, and the peace that passes all understanding. Praising God for your testimony to so many…

  • Kimmer

    You and your family are amazing. You are in my prayers…I dont know you but I found you through a family member’s page.

    I admire you and all you are doing for your little girl. I pray you have peace today.

  • Anonymous

    I have been praying for you these past few weeks, and will continue to pray for you and your family tomorrow. I am praying that “His love and truth will protect you” (ps.40:11) and that “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.”(Numbers 6:24 – 26)
    God Bless You,
    Tiffany

  • Anonymous

    I have been praying and thinking of you all – this whole weekend. May the Lord bring HIs work to fruition through you today. I pray for you peace stenghth and your heart. May the the Lord carry you ALL
    Smythe Casiano

  • valerie

    Dearest Todd and Angie, My heart is with you today, fasting and praying for the shikinah glory of God to be ever so present in that delivery room today. Every provider will be God ordained and Jesus will be holding your hand.God has already been so present in your suffering that I have no other words of wisdom but please know I will be on my face for you abd yours today wailing before our God for Audrey.

  • Two blessings from above

    Angie,
    Our family is praying for you and your family. You were in my thoughts all weekend. I pray God brings your family peace.

  • Megan L Hutchings

    Your blog has truly rocked my world and path with the Lord. My love, faith, and many prayers are with you and your family today!

  • Christy O

    Dearest Angie and Todd (and girls of course),
    I have been following your blog for months now. You are very right, Audrey will be healed today, either here on earth or in Heaven with her Loving Heavenly Father. I am mom to five, but one of my children has a chronic medical condition that she struggles with and at times threatens her life. I have prayed and prayed for healing, to the point where sometimes I realize that the healing of the medical care we have and the technology we have is truly a form of healing here on our fallen earth. But it has struck me periodically that one day my dear child will be healed, will have a whole and healthy body – in Heaven with her Lord. It has brought me such comfort to know that one day she truly will be healed and whole. I still pray for healing here, but I know that one day she will have a completely whole and healthy body and her physical struggles (here) will be no more.

    I cannot express enough how much we are praying for you all, for your dear Audrey, for every moment you have with her. May there be a miracle and they be many. And if not, may they all be precious and sweet as you know that she is loved by so many, and by her dear Lord most of all. Why you have been called to this, I cannot know, but you are using this to such a testament. I, like you, am determined to never waste pain. It can be redeemed by using it to the best advantage. Love to you all. Many, many prayers are holding you all.
    Christy in WI

  • Yvette

    Angie,

    Praying for you this morning as you await the birth of your precious little girl. I have also passed on your story/blog site to all of my internet friends (that I have traveled this Trisomy 18 road with) and asked that they too join me in prayer today for you and your family!

    Yvette Hostetter
    http://www.tristanasher.blogspot.com

  • Melissa Broadwell

    Abby and Ellie were SO sweet yesterday in Sunday school..showing off some lost teeth! As I rejoiced with them, my heart was with you and your family. I will be in prayer today and days to come. Praying for continued peace and comfort in your heart and mind. I love you.

  • Jessica Miller Kelley

    I will be praying fervently for you today–for Audrey, for you, for your family, for the doctors. God will be lying with you on that table today, holding you close. He will be the hands lifting Audrey out, the hands guiding the scalpels. May you feel him with you every moment. Blessings to you always.

  • Susan

    Matthew 8:10 “When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”

    I am amazed and blessed by you.

    Today is a day of miracles. God’s miracles aren’t always what we think or want them to be. They don’t always stand out like mountains.

    Remember to see the small miracles, such as a smile in your anguish, or just a glimpse of the beauty from within you, created by God for God.

    Luke 5:26 “Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, ‘We have seen remarkable things today.’”

    Peace and joy be with you today, for God has answered your prayers.
    I love you guys.

    Thank you Jesus for all you have done in and through the lives of the Smiths. We only ask Your will be done. We love you and thank you for loving us. In Jesus name, Amen

  • Allison

    thinking of you today.

  • Anonymous

    My prayer for you and your family today was that This day would be filled with as much beauty as it can hold, and that your time with Audry will be beautiful and long.

  • Kristy

    I am praying for you all this day, Monday, and for little Audrey. May God’s hands wrap around you all so tightly that you can feel His presence and His embrace, whatever you may encounter.

  • Amber, Ben and Brooklyn …

    Angie and Family,

    You are in our thoughts all day today. We received the bible that you sent to Brooklyn … all I can say is thank you. You are an amazing woman (and family). Everything that I want to say has already been written here. I am going to start reading the bible with Brooklyn today … maybe we will start with 4:7.

    With love ~ Amber, Ben and Brooklyn

  • Candy

    You are a wonderful writer and are inspiring so many, including me to FULLY trust God ALWAYS. Thanks for sharing your story. I am praying now for your whole family.

  • Mark and Rebekah

    I am continuing to pray for you and your family right now. Thank you for your willingness to share your story with us. It has touched so many people in so many ways.

    God is good, all the time.
    All the time, God is good.

    Rebekah

  • Tiffany

    As I’m sitting here listening to All my Praise and reading post after post of your journey with Audrey, I had to grab a pen and write this down on my pink post-it note:

    “Pray [Angie and Todd] will be able to hear truth above fear, and that they will rest in knowing that truth.”

    -I’ll always trust you despite the hurt.
    -You are Lord. Only YOU.

    Thank you for sharing your life.

    With tear stained cheeks, I’ve decided I’m going to carry this in my pocket as a reminder to lift you up throughout today and the following, and as a reminder of who our Lord is.

  • Jill B

    I am so sorry. You shouldn’t have to go through this – no one should. I am praying for you and your family today and in the days ahead. God bless you Audrey Caroline.

  • ashlee

    through many tears I say I am praying for Gods perfect peace on you and your family. you have been heavy on my heart lately, and I struggle with praising Him through this with you. but He is worthy of our praise!

  • 3QTGUYS

    I am praying for you today, in a constant thought of strength and mercy.

    I am brought to the scripture in Timothy reminding us that God has NOT given us a spirit of fear….but one of power, and of love, and of a strong mind.

    I pray this for you today.

  • Chocaholic

    Praying for you and your family today…

  • GuessChoir

    If you pray for Courage, God won’t grant you courage, but rather he will present you with a situation to be courageous in.

    If you pray for Strength, God won’t just grant you strength, but rather he will present you with a situation where you can be strong.

    If you pray for your Anxieties, he won’t just take them away, but rather present you with an opportunity to trust in him. And you have my friend. You are courageous, you are strong, and you have the Alpha and Omega carrying you now on that lonesome beach.

    Many prayers for your family. May God’s grace be ever present for you always, but especially today.

    Thank you for sharing your humbleness.

  • boltefamily

    Praying for you!

  • Anonymous

    Sending you strength, peace and most of all prayers.

    Megan

  • Amy

    praying hard for you today…

  • Anonymous

    Oh, you wonderful woman. I have been reading your blog since the beginning, and I am sorry that it has taken until now for me to post. You have a gift. You have made me laugh and cry every day as I read your blogs over and over. Perhaps Audrey has been everyone’s gift from God– everyone whose lives you have touched through your writing. I hope you feel the hundreds of people and prayers for you today, and that you feel profound peace from it. That everything that is happening is somehow “right”. It is extremely difficult to imagine that happening, but I know that our God will do that for you. I am sorry that I have probably missed you, and that you have most likely already left for the hospital. Be calm, glorify this moment. Peace be with you.

  • Anonymous

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your daughters sound like such sweet, old souls. I pray they can comfort you as you comfort them.
    Angie U.

  • Chels

    We don’t know one another. I came across your blog from a friend’s blog who asked for prayers for your family.

    I said a long prayer last night and will continue to pray for all of you today.

    God bless you and your precious family.

  • Jenn

    Just want to let you know that we are lifting all of you up to the Father today! May God’s peace, comfort and holiness consume you! We will continue to pray, and praise Him no matter what the outcome.

  • steele family

    I am so humbled by your unending faith and your relentless pursuit of Jesus. It makes me stronger and helps me to heal the pain of my 6 babies in heaven. Thank you for sharing your story and for your complete transparency in the face of such pain. Bless you and your family will be in my prayers. By the way, you don’t know me either but I would love to meet you one day when we join our Savior in heaven.

  • Anonymous

    I found your blog through a friend and have been praying for you and your family. I have two daughters of my own and your blog has made me remember to cherish each day I have with them. You are a blessing, thank you for writing this blog and letting us share in your lives. May God continue show His love and give you peace!
    Kristen (AL)

  • Tara

    Praying for you all today.

  • Amber

    I just wanted you to know that I said a special pray for you and your family today. May our loving Father wrap His loving arms around you and bring you comfort and peace today and in all the days ahead. I can’t imagine what you must be facing, but He can. He lost His only Son and he knows your pain. Hold tight to Him.

  • Amanda

    Beautiful, amazing post. I am praying for you today, and will continue to pray for you as you walk out this season of your life.

  • The Flick Family

    todd and angie,
    i have been, am and will be praying for you as our countless others. you are on my heart today.
    mindy

  • florence

    I have been on my face before the throne striving in prayer for you and Todd today. I will continue to do so. At church yesterday, Scott said something to the effect of “Much of life is less about holding onto God, but rather truly believing that he is holding onto you”. God has you in His mighty hand and He will never let you go. He is the God who sees. He sees and knows every emotion you will be feeling today and in the months to come. I pray you will run to him today and allow Him to hide you in the shadow of His wings.

    May you know a peace that passes all understanding today.

  • Ida

    Fear Not for I am with thee. Isiah 43:5

    Ida

  • Marcie

    I John 4:16-19
    “And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
    By this, love is perfected with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.
    There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
    We love, because He first loved us.”

    Praying for you, your husband, your girls, your family, your friends.

    He is who He said He is.
    Marcie

  • Marcie

    I John 4:16-19
    “And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
    By this, love is perfected with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.
    There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
    We love, because He first loved us.”

    Praying for you, your husband, your girls, your family, your friends.

    He is who He said He is.
    Marcie

  • Anonymous

    Today on the calendar is simply written “Audrey” — I remember her and your family and have you all in the deepest part of my heart and am praying…

    Peace be with you today and always!

  • Marcie

    I John 4:16-19
    “And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
    By this, love is perfected with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.
    There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
    We love, because He first loved us.”

    Praying for you, your husband, your girls, your family, your friends.

    He is who He said He is.
    Marcie

  • Amanda

    You were in my thoughts when I first woke up this morning. May you find peace and joy in this day.

  • Tuimeltje

    Hi Angie,
    I got here through a link pipsylou’s blog. I’m not much of a praying person, but I’ll be thinking of you and your family.

    Much love and strength.

  • Anonymous

    Praying for strength to endure today, for hope to help you see tomorrow, and for peace in knowing that God Almighty is in complete control.

  • Kenzie Stanfield

    Angie-

    Please know that we are praying for your family! The fear, the anxiety… it’s definitely understandable… but also like you said, that isn’t from the Lord. He is great and BIG and I pray for the peace that you so desperately need in this time!

    It’s been 10 weeks since Maddox came and left, and God is still so good!

    Praying for you fervently today! May Audrey bring you sweet, sweet blessings.

    Love,
    Kenzie (Maddox’s mommy)
    http://www.thestanfieldjourney.blogspot.com

  • Laura

    Praying for you much today.
    Thank you for sharing your heart-you have blessed me once again and reminded me to trust Him always.

  • Camie

    Father God, at this very moment, I ask that you wrap your arms around Angie and Todd. Still their fears, calm their anxieties, ease their worries, speak words of comfort and strength to them: “Be still and know that I am GOD.” Should you choose to bring Audrey home with you, Lord, I pray that you would make her journey a peaceful one, and that she would feel your Fathers arms around her, guiding her passage. Grant her a moment of awareness where she is certain of how very much she is loved in this life, and an eternity of knowledge that her short life here was used to glorify you. In this moment, Lord, we praise you for the wonderous creation of this child, who is perfect in your sight– and in ours. Amen.

  • The Wade’s

    You are in my prayers…

  • clg0513

    Angie & Family-
    although I don’t “know” you ….i do “know” you… and I know you are strong and we are all here for you all. I have been thinking about you all weekend and wondered how you were doing. I am praying for you today and hoping for the best.

  • todsandberg

    Amber and I are praying for you.

  • Carrie

    I am praying for you all today!

  • Mary

    I have been following your blog for a while now. I have tought of you all weekend and just wanted to let you know you are in my praryers today.

  • KELLY

    Praying for you right now!!!

  • Suz

    Many people at First Baptist in Carthage TX are praying for your family and for your sweet baby girl.

  • Becca

    Angie, my prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to be a part of it. I’m praying, praying, praying.. God Bless.

  • Kristi

    I am new to your blog. There are no words. I am praying for you today, desperately.

  • Anonymous

    I am praying for you today, as I have for the last week since I first found your blog. I pray for a miracle, I pray for peace in your heart, I pray for your husband and 3 other daughters. I pray for your Audrey.
    May God bless you in the midst of this trial.
    Lori

  • Mary C

    God bless you and your family. I found your blog last Friday and had to go back and read all your posts. My heart breaks for you all. I will be praying for you.

  • Jessica Oakes

    You don’t know me, just as you don’t know many of your readers. I too am a young Christian mother. Reading your words makes me want to be a better Christian, a better mother, a better person. You and your family have been so strong and it is that strength that I so admire. I have a problem with learning to let go and to hand it over to Him who is really in charge. I will strive to be a person of stronger faith in my daily walk, I know it is possible. Through your words I have seen that this kind of strength is possible. May God wrap you tightly in his arms today and in all the days to come.

  • Astraea

    I pray for healing and peace. I cannot even imagine your pain. Our Lord is so good. He will hold you tight through this whole journey.

  • Ashley

    I found your blog through Nitty.Gritty. I have been reading since you got your puppy:) I am originally from Sparta, TN.

    No words are really appropriate for what you are going through today and even in the coming days, weeks, months and years. My heart is heavy with knowing what you are going through; I have been on the other side as a labor and delivery nurse. Just know that we are praying for you, your daughter, and your family.

    With love, hugs, and prayers,
    Ashley

  • Aimee’ Lynn

    Praying that He holds you tightly in his arms today!

  • Anonymous

    *P*R*A*Y*E*R*S* and *H*U*G*S*
    for Audrey,
    her parents,
    & her dear sisters.

    Hope you feel all this today – I’m number 238 & counting.

    - Rachel in Kansas City

  • Anonymous

    May God be with you and your family today and always. I found your blog through a friend of mine and you and your family will be in my prayers. We do have a common bond and that is our Heavenly Father. I also struggle with anxiety but our God is so good and so understanding and so patient with us. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it. You are in my prayers.

  • Valarie

    God sent me to this blog today and I will never be the same. I’m praying that His peace will reign supreme over this day and those that lie ahead. Thanks for being courageous enough to share this amazing story.

    God is still on the throne!!

    Val
    NC

  • Doreen

    Hi Angie,

    A friend just forwarded a request for prayers for you today.

    As I read through parts of your blog it was if I was the writer. How completely I knew and had experienced most of what you say. Carrying my Gianna and your Aubrey is such a painful paradox…feeling life, those little kicks and rolls..all that a mother loves..yet knowing that it is her birth which will bring on her death.

    So vividly I remember Gianna’s birth…how my husband was so excited because she looked so good…so pink…just a cleft lip and palate…yet I knew…I could hear her faint mewing…she was placed in my arms…how do I say hello dear sweet little one..and how and when do I say good-bye.

    Angie, your daughter is a tremendous gift to you and your family. It is through your music that you may minister to the world. Life is a gift to be cherished…

    Lifting you in prayer right now!
    God bless you,
    Doreen Your e-mail address did not work

  • Anonymous

    I join you in praising our wonderful Jesus. This is a song written by Sheri Easter I wanted to share, hoping it will bring some comfort to you. You are in my prayers and will be for the days and nights ahead. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us. We so love you and your sweet family.

    Praise His Name

    When you’re up against a wall
    And your mountain seems so tall
    And you realize that life’s not always fair
    You can run away and hide
    Let the old man decide
    Or you can change your curcumstances with a prayer

    When everything falls apart
    Praise His name
    When you have a broken heart
    Raise your hands and say
    Lord, you’re all I need
    You’re everything to me
    And He’ll take the pain away
    When you feel you’re all alone
    Praise His name
    And you feel all hope is gone
    Raise your hands and say
    Greater is He that is within me
    And you can praise the hurt away
    If you’ll just praise his name

    Ohhh,
    You can overcome
    By the Blood of the Lamb
    And by the word of your testimony
    You’ll see the darkness go
    As your faith begins to grow
    You’re not alone, so how can you be lonely

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Chris & Emily

    Hi – I have just recently found your blog and I know you may not get this before your beautiful little girl is born but i just had to comment and let you know I was praying for you and your family. My son, Cohen, was born on March 5th – at his 20 week ultrasound we were told he had a lethal skeletal dysplasia and would die shortly after birth. We are home and our little boy is still with us and doing well. I am praying for healing for your daughter on earth and if not, praising God for her healing by His side.

  • Andy, Cherie, and Sarah

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Cherie

    “Life isn’t about getting past the storm. It’s about dancing in the rain.”

  • Kiki@Seagulls in the Parking Lot

    Praying for you and your family. That is all I know to say.

  • Jillian Gibson

    just opened your blog and mercy me’s “bring the rain” started playing on the radio. God is faithful.

    “i know they’ll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that’s what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain”

    what a wonderful example you have been of serving our sweet Jesus through the pain. He is greater than the pain. and He will continue to make a way.

    praying today for a miracle and calm in the middle of this storm.

    blessings to you and your precious family. give audrey kisses for all of us.

    in Him,
    jillian

  • Beth

    praying praying praying as i bless HIS name

  • Stacey

    Our prayers are with your beautiful family!

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Heather & Reese

    Praying for peace for you today! Thank you for sharing your struggles, your hope and your faith with us!

    Heather

  • Carrie

    I happened upon your blog from a friend’s friend’s friend blog. That is not what is important. I am praying for you today. I don’t even know the words to write now other than I have asked many people at Anderson University and in my bible study to pray.
    Our God is an awesome God.
    Carrie

  • Misty

    I truely believe it was meant for me to find your blog. (I found it through Jody Ferlak’s blog by the way) Thank you for sharing your raw and uncensored feelings. Thank you for sharing your faith. I first read on Saturday and came back today to see if there was any news. I’m praying for you and passed this along to friends on Saturday to pray too. God is good, all the time.

  • jamie b

    I am praying for you now and will continue within the next few hours. Rest in Him, sweet sister.

  • Leslie

    Prayers being sent for you, Audrey, and the rest of your family today. I wish you strength and peace.

  • Bickers Family

    You are constantly on my mind today. I’m praying continuously for you and little baby Audrey…

  • patterns of ink

    Came over from Jody at Nitty Gritty. Thank you for understanding the power of sharing grief. It is meant to be so….

  • alison

    Praying right now for your entire family. May you be wrapped in God’s great mercy and love.

  • Anonymous

    As I read your blog today my heart became heavy and saddened. I can not imagine what you and your family are going through. Although I don’t know you personally, you are my sister in Christ and my heart truly aches for you and your family. I know nothing I say can make your hurt go away, but please know that your story has touched my heart and my life in a profound way. May we all hold our loved ones closer and may God hold you all closer today. My prayers are with you and i hope you can feel the love for you and your precious daughter.

  • The Kahler Family

    Angie & Todd,
    I have been praying for you since I began reading your blog. You are such a witness of faith in our Lord.
    I will be on my knees for you.
    Angie

  • MandyJo013078

    My prayers are with you… I hope that you turn your blog into a book not only to honor your baby Audrey but to show how much faith and love that you have in our God. I think it’s inspiring that even though you’ve traveled this road and things are not easy that you have the faith to keep going and keep believing in the path the Lord has set before you. I’m keeping you in my prayers.
    MandyJo

  • Nancy

    My prayers are with you and your family. I so admire your faith and thank you for sharing. Much love, peace and strength. God bless you!

  • Mindy

    Lord Jesus, thank You for being everywhere, at all times. Thank You for seeing the big picture, but only revealing to us what You know we can handle when the time is right. Thank You for speaking in that still small voice when we take time to listen, that you are still God, in control, and whether we believe it or not, You do what is best for us. Father, help all of us who have come to love Audrey, and Todd and Angie and the girls, to trust that one day, we will see what the bigger picture was always meant to be. Bigger than our emotions going through the dark tunnel. You are all knowing. Thank You for Your mercy as our faith in You falters. Thank You for Your grace as You bless us anyway. Father, give Todd and Angie peace, peace that passes all understanding, and bless them Lord. Thank You for the time they had with Audrey. As bittersweet as it may seem, they were able to share YOU with many because Audrey was there. Father, bless Todd and Angie beyond what they could ever expect, in ways that only You can. Amen

  • Michelle

    Please know that a stranger in Phoenix stumbled across your blog, and is praying for you all right now…

  • Radeanna

    You words could not have been any truer. When I lost a son, at only one day old, God spoke to me and said the same thing. Praise Me! Because even when our world is crushed, He is still in control and has not changed. What a blessing you and your little girl have been to me. I am praying for you!!

  • Anonymous

    dear angie- you are awesome! thank-you for speaking the truth, and for your obvious love for our saviour Jesus!! you have done wonders in my heart, my family, my life. thank-you.
    you have been in my constant thoughts and prayers today. please take care- tara

  • Marin

    Audrey Caroline is a beautiful little girl who’s touched many lives. Thank you for sharing her with us. Audrey- thank you so much sweetie… By the way, PB&J is pretty awesome, I have to agree with you there.

    Angie you are an amazing mom and woman of faith despite what you may feel at times. Faith as small as a mustard seed means everything. I wanted to rescue all the stuffed animals too…I cried when inch worms died heheheh

    Todd you have such a heart for God and are an amazing father. Thinking of her kicking when her daddy sings made me smile…and cry. Thank you for your ministry and sharing your life with us.

    Girls- you’re wonderful sisters and I want you to know that a lot of people (parents included) are proud of you.

  • Anonymous

    I can relate to some of your situation…however, my circumstance was different. Yet, we may share some similarities.

    You see, I have had fear and anxiety play a huge role in most of my life…and I know the struggles of anxiety attacks etc. I hate hospitals and doctors, and just the thought of them create more worry and stress…not to mention high blood pressure! I pray for a miracle for your sweet little girl…and no matter what you are right, God will bring comfort and healing to her. Whether its here on earth or in the heavens. I do know that power of prayer and the power of God who stood by me as our baby girl was delivered in my second trimester. We had found out that she had died a few days before, and those days were some of the most difficult. I was fearful and anxious about how the child was going to arrive. And at that gestational age, what to expect. Fear consumed me when we found out the news. But, I prayed and cried like no other day in my life. And when I came to the hospital with my husband. I can tell you that God truly is an awesome God. We were in his hands and he was lifting us up. I probably haven’t been that calm in all my life. Even my blood pressure was low. Which is shocking! But, even though there were so many concerns and so much uncertainty. He was with us. I felt his presence and his peace. I pray that he shows himself more real today than perhaps any other day. That you feel his almighty power and strength…and know that so many of us care. I know that I would not know what to do without knowing him. And I can only say that I grew stronger in such sadness…but thats because he was there. Right there in the room as we held onto our daughter, he was there. I wish you this sense of peace, that you know only comes from God above. I pray right now for a miracle. All things are possible through him. May he bless you all…
    Polly

  • Dan

    Angie,
    The phrase that struck me the most in this blog entry was “I want you to praise me”.
    when my son was on life support that was the only thing he asked of me. Not to understand…not to accept…not to comprehend
    He is WORTHY of our praise. To God be the glory.
    How precious that you had a few moments with your precious baby girl before she went to DANCE, SING, PLAY, LEARN, GROW with the KING OF KINGS!!!
    My heart breaks for your heartbreak and sorrow and rejoices for Audrie, who now rests in the arms of the KING.
    Jeremiah 29:11-13

  • Jennifer

    I do the smae thing with stuffed animals. I am now 25 and still feel horrible when I only get one stuffed animal. My daughter dosent get one toy she gets one set of toys. I just cant pick one. My mom told me when I was a child I would watch movies where people would be blown up or shot and I would laugh but the first time a kid dropped his teddy or if I saw an animal laying beside the road I would cry hysterically. Youre not alone in your weirdness!

  • Jill

    this has been the story of my life for most of my life! but through it all the Lord continues to pull me closer to Him, teaching me about Himself, His Word and how to Truly rely and Trust Him with EVERTHING!

    through all my fears and panic attacks, the Lord has revealed Himself to me, and how to take His Word and directly apply it to my life~ through doing so, He Is miraculously,Completely changing my life~ one day at a time!

    I cannot imagine all that you have been dealing with, and have tears running down my cheeks as i write this~ but what i Do know is that the Lord holds you and your family in the palm of His hand~ that His peace, and His peace Alone will get you through even this~ and that He is reaching tons of others through your sharing.

    love and prayers!
    jill

  • Randi Jo :)

    I found your blog through links at other blogs…and really didn’t want to post anything because I just don’t know if it’s appropriate with all you’re going through. But maybe this is something God would love for you to hear…

    God used you incredibly today. Through this post and the words He gave you… He spoke to me. After I read this post, God revealed so much to me. I took my first steps to truly being “dead to self” and to put Him first. This post was the last seed of many that God had been planting in my life — and for the first time in my life I am FREE! I understand what’s it like to be dead to self. Not controlled by my flesh, my circumstances, my emotions!!! As soon as I read your words about your anxiety, your worry, and need for control — I felt the Spirit helping me completely shed the chains I had held on to for so long. These chains were knocked off a long time ago when I accepted Christ into my life – why did I hold on to them!??! I can truly say for the first time I understand what it’s like to be lead by the Spirit and for Christ to be my King. I wept like a baby curled up crying out to God that I understood and thanked Him for all the seeds He’d been planting in me to bring me to this point – culminating with this post. Maybe some day you can read what I wrote on my blog about what transpired after I read your post and how He used it. “Being lead by the Spirit not by my heart (emotions)”

    I want you to know that because I read this post — I feel like I was born again. I’ve been a christian for 15+ years but never felt true freedom until yesterday after reading this. I am dead to sin, dead to self and dead to my flesh for the first time. I’m on a new journey – my first baby steps of really conforming to Christ’s will.

    Thank you for praising Him through the rain!!!! Thank you for sharing all of this with the public. I am praying for you and I have faith that the Spirit is comforting you!! I thank God for Audrey’s life and for your willingness to be used and think of God above self during the storm.

  • Anonymous

    First, let me extend my deepest sympathy. I have never lost a child and cannot imagine your loss. However, we do have something in common. I too struggle with an anxiety disorder and often feel as if I am lacking in the faith department. Thank you for sharing your story. It is just a reminder that satan uses all different methods to take our eyes off of Him. There is nothing we can do in our own power to have more faith. It is a gift from God and will bring peace that surpasses all understanding!!
    God Bless!!

  • labador

    Your family will be in my prayers, and you are touching so many of us strangers who have heard your story through word of mouth on the web. God bless you all.

  • Jenni Saake

    I am just now finding your blog and my heart aches at the journey you are facing in the recent death of your precious baby. I’ve read all the posts from most recent down to this one, but I had to stop with this one and leave a comment.

    I too have battled deep fears from earliest childhood. In college a wonderful Christian professor and several classmates helped me realize that I had been under demonic opression ever since moving to the Phillipines and then to Japan at age 18 months with my parents as missionaries. Like you, the realization, the calling the deceiver by name, was a huge step in healing and beginning to win this battle.

    Through chronic illness, the loss of our business, infertility, 3 miscarriage, 7 adoption losses and more, satan continually delighted in feeding my fears and feelings of unworthiness. But God is winning this battle in my heart in such HUGE ways! I am so rarely held captive to fears now, and when they come back HE is always here to fight them away with me. I have committed to memory many verses on fear and cling to them/Him whenever the enemy attacks yet again. In realizing the our Father knows my tears and heartache in such a personal way, as a bereaved Father who willingly offered up His Son so that I could be adopted, I am humbled and awed – if He finds me worthy of such sacrifice, satan’s lies have no room to stand!!!

  • Anonymous

    Your post could’ve been written by me. I could so identify with the stuffed animals and being concerned about their feelings. I could’ve written most of the anxiety parts.

    Thank you for putting words to my fears and thoughts. I nearly jumped up & down, pointing at the screen saying, it’s not just me; someone else understands.

    Your family is in my prayers

  • Sinead

    I’ve been reading about your beautiful daughter and your family–what a testament you all are to God’s love and healing power. Sweet Audrey is healed and in heaven now, but my what miracles she brought in her short time on this earth. God truly loaned you an angel for those few hours, and I know that your family will always remember her. God’s peace be with you. Thank you for sharing your story and your struggles and your faith.

  • Tamora

    Dear Angie!
    I just found your blog and I am reading it from the beginning. I felt compelled to write to you at this post before I get to the “tomorrow post” to let you know that you are amazing and thank you so much for sharing your story. What an amazing woman you are. God’s blessings!