My Birthday, your questions!

First of all, please let me express my deepest thanks to those of you who sent me emails, gifts, and prayers on my Birthday yesterday.  I cannot believe how many of you “strangers” thought to bless me with your acknowledgements!
It was a good, full day.  We recorded Audrey’s song, and although we got a lot of great stuff (Amy can SING….as if you didn’t already know….:) ), we decided that the demo was really special because of the timing of it.  I was still pregnant with Audrey, and I held the little headphones around my tummy while we were recording so that she could hear it.  She kicked while she listened, and every time I hear it, that is what I remember.  I also remember that Amy was crying during the recording, and we left it in the song because it just captured the moment so beautifully.  
So, although I think they are going to add some things from yesterday (as well as a string arrangement from somebody VERY special..more on that later!), we are going to leave a lot of the demo the way it is.  One thing we did do yesterday, which I am really excited about, is to create a version for people who have lost boy babies (so instead of “her” in the last verse, it says “him” etc….). This will be known as the “Elliot” version of the song, in honor of Sara’s baby Elliot.  We have had many requests for the song to be played at baby funerals etc, and I really wanted to have one for mommies that have lost their sons as well.  I have some bad news about the CD, though…the release date has been pushed back to next Spring because the business people say they need more time to market it…stinky, I know :(  BUT, it is worth the wait…it is a great, great record…
Last night we went to a benefit dinner for the Hope Clinic, and it was amazing. The woman who runs the Hope Clinic surprised me with a cake (thank you, Renee!!!) that tasted like heaven on earth.  The dinner was held at the new-ish Symphony Hall in Nashville, and celebrated 25 years of dedication to unborn lives.  I never cease to be amazed at what God has done with this ministry.  If you would like to contribute, make sure and mention Audrey Caroline on your check…we are going to do something special in honor of her there, and I will keep you posted on the details. I cannot think of a better way to have spent my Birthday! It was a blessed day, and I have no doubt that all of your prayers to that end reached me.  
I have been so excited to start answering your questions, and they are all so interesting that this may take awhile, because I would love to get to all of them. There were three that seemed to keep showing up (the same three that people have emailed me for months, so I am glad to have the opportunity to address them here!), so I will start with those. One is about writing a book, one is about how I met Todd, and the last is about how I came to Christ.
First off, the easy one.
I am humbled (not just in the way that nice people know they are supposed to say they are, but in the “I can’t believe this” crying tears of gratitude way…) that so many of you have commented on my writing.  It is something I love doing, and have never really pursued the way I wanted to.  I would love to share this with you, though, because it is so like God to do it. 
A few months before we found out Audrey’s diagnosis (I was already pregnant with her), I was working on a proposal for a Christian parenting book and was in the process of securing a publishing deal with a Christian publisher.  Before I could finish it, January 7th rolled around and I told them I needed to not be thinking about anything but the baby.  I know now what I did not know then.
That was not the book I was supposed to write.  
I mention this next part because I covet your prayers in the coming months. We have been presented with a few opportunities that are above and beyond what I could have dreamed up, and they have fallen in line with very specific prayers about how Audrey’s story will be told, if it is to be told at all.  Todd and I felt strongly that if there was an opportunity for publishing of any sort, it would not be because we sought it out, but rather because God gave it to us. We also asked that if someone was going to publish it, they would come across it because of personal experience and not because of “business.”  There were a few other requests to God in there as well, and Todd and I are prayerfully considering a few options that have come our way. As it stands, we have as much time as we need to in order to mull things over, and that may be years. We are so focused on figuring out how to “do life” again that this hasn’t really settled in, but I hope and pray that there will be a day…
What I know is that I want people to have a resource from another mommy who understands the pain of losing a baby, and I want people to meet my sweet Audrey. Please pray for discernment in this area…we feel ill-equipped and unqualified, but confident that this is the best way for God to show up. And thank you for even asking the question…if nothing else were to come of it, I would know that God had chosen you all to encourage me, and that is more than I could have asked for…thank you.  I will certainly keep you all posted if there are any developments:)
A lot of people also asked how Todd and I met…the quick version is that we met at a singles retreat…he was singing, and I got dragged to it by some friends who later became my bridesmaids and several of my dearest friends.  On the trip up there (Fall Creek Falls), I was shaking.  I had no idea why, but at one point I said to the girls, “I think one of us is going to meet our husband this weekend!”  Little did I know…
The long version involves your third question, and some details that I have hesitated to share because they are complicated.  This is the bottom line:
If God can use me, He can use anyone.
I think that before I get into that story, I should pause.  I have already made this longer than I intended, and because of my “no edit” policy, I fear that I cannot go back and make it more concise or clear:) I am my own worst enemy.
I will say this.
I did not grow up going to church.
I did not know Jesus for most of my life.
I did not know Jesus on October 15th, 2000, when I met my future husband.  
I did not know that a Savior could love me the way He does, given what He knows about my life before Him.  
If I hadn’t received so many emails from people who feel like I have it all together spiritually, I probably would never have dreamed of sharing this part of my life.  God spoke to me while I was at the beach, and He was pretty clear about what He wants me to write.  It isn’t really a pretty story, but it has a great Hero, and a beautiful courtship.  It is the most meaningful (and difficult) think I have ever tried to put on paper, but it is worth the hurt. I am planning on posting that soon, and do hope it will meet you wherever you are, and that it will whisper Jesus to you.  
I do have one request, though.  I have noticed that a lot of you write things like, “Although we will never meet…” Well, don’t:)  I want to feel like we will, and that I will get to thank you in person.  It makes me sad to think that I might not get that chance…so, instead, let’s say “When I meet you…”  That feels better.
I will have you know that in the middle of a restaurant in Destin, I struck up a conversation with a complete stranger.  Several minutes into it, Todd and the girls came over to tell me that our table was ready. I guess that triggered something in her mind, because she looked at me with a big smile and said, “I know you! You have a blog, don’t you? I have been praying for you!”  I grabbed her by the neck and squeezed her until the other patrons were sufficiently confused (security was not alerted), and then I thanked God for showing me some of the flesh behind the prayers.  I hope He continues to do this for years to come.
Thank you for listening, for loving, and for encouraging me.  
Oh, and also…I can’t wait to meet you.
Angie

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  • walkingbyfaith

    I didn’t know yesterday was your birthday!! Happy Belated Birthday dear friend! :) I’m so happy to hear it was a good one.

    I can’t wait to meet you either! :)

  • Susan

    Angie, I just want to thank you for giving to the Lord. Because you do, you have changed my life. Belated Happy Birthday wishes….

    Until we meet…:-)

  • His_Princess2008

    YAY! I am comment number 2. lol. I CAN’T WAIT to meet you. I wish I could get on a plane right now and head that way. :) Well HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! I didn’t realize that it was your birthday either. :) Yes Amy can sing!! I just love the sound of her’s and tom’s voices meshing together. It gives me chills. I Love your song and come to the page at least every couple of days to listen to it. It just ministers to me. I love the idea of the Elliot version. I love the answers to the questions. You are def. a talented writer and I will def. buy the book that God allows you to write from this season of your life. I am still praying. And don’t forget I am here if you need me. Just leave me a comment on my blog or email me at
    Gods_child_123@msn.com

    Love ya,
    Dani

    p.s.- Tell the girly goos that I am thinking about them all the way in Florida!! :)

  • His_Princess2008

    oops number 3 lol

  • Heather

    I SO hope I can meet you someday, Angie. Your strength is so inspirational to me. I haven’t faced anything nearly as difficult as you, but when I have a hard time putting one foot in front of the other, I think of you and your family. It sound so cliched, but thank you for sharing the story of your family and Audrey. It means so much to me.

  • Jill Young

    Angie ~ I came to your blog after a concert in Springfield, OH. I talked to Todd afterward and had a friend send you a book he wrote. I hope he was able to get it to you. I have been faithfully checking your blog since and sharing it with many people. Audrey was going to be born on April 14, which is my dad’s birthday, so it was easy to remember to pray for you the few weeks leading up to her birth. Every time I thought of my dad’s birthday, I would say a prayer for you guys. The date was moved up to my Father In Law’s birthday, so again, I was able to think of you often (and still do) when his birthday is mentioned and I say a prayer for you each time! I just want you to know how much of an encouragement you are to me! Selah’s concert was so awesome, that I plan on seeing them any time they are close, so I do hope to run into you someday!

    Love and many prayers,

    Jill Young
    Wheelersburg, OH
    joshandjill@juno.com

  • Anonymous

    Angie, Happy Birthday a day late! I just want to say WHEN I MEET YOU, I will thank you in person for the blessing and encouragement you have been to so many of us. I will also be much in prayer for your writing in the months and days ahead.

    Becky
    Ohio

  • austinmsmom

    Happy Happy belayed birthday!!!! I am so glad you had a good day!! Thank you for sharing your story and journey. I truely believes God uses us to reach out to others. Thank you for allowing God to use you. I know your story has touched me and has forever changed me. I consider you a friend and pray for you and your beautiful family all the time. Oh and we will meet!! ;)
    ((HUGS)) Elle
    andthreemakesfamily.wordpress.com

  • Kelly

    I don’t think I could buy your book because every time I read your blog I cry like a baby. I think I will buy stock in kleenex before I get your book. ha! Just kidding – I believe with all my heart that God has us go through pain sometimes but it is never without a purpose and I’m so thankful that you are obedient to hear His call and write that book! That is one of the things I think about when I think of you – that you have this awesome gift of writing but now you have been given such an opportunity to use it in such a unique way to reach hurting people. I wish you hadn’t have lost Audrey – I wish you were holding her now and rocking her and feeding her. But I thank God that something good will come from this.
    And I can’t wait to hear your story. I think it makes you even more amazing to know you didn’t grow up in a Christian home. Those are usually the Christians that I want to just follow around because their passion is so much greater than those of us that were on the “cradle roll”. I don’t care what your past has been like – you are on of the most Christ like people that I hope I will get to meet one day! :-)

  • Kelly

    Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY (one day late!)

  • Marylea

    Angie–I knew yesterday was your birthday (it is the same day as my granddaughter, she just turned one)..Happy Belated Birthday!!!
    Again, what a beautiful message.
    You always speak to my heart and make for a brighter day. I am so greatful to be a part of your life. You have given me so much renewed hope and faith in the Lord.
    Gods love and mine.
    Look forward to meeting you!
    Marylea

  • Anonymous

    Happy Belated Birthday Angie!

    I check in everyday to see if you have updated your blog. I pray for a book by you. You have captivated me with your writing and I will definately purchase it and read it cover to cover in less than a week! But it will give me a lifetime of knowlege to put forth in my own life.

    I am so happy your birthday was full of joy.

    Peace Love & Happiness
    Shantel

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    I am speechless….Well not really, but you will see that when we meet!:0) I love reading your blog and learning of your sweet Audrey. She is beautiful! You are a natural at not only writing, but at sharing your soul in such a powerful way with your words. I cried through many of your entries. Reading your story made me a better Mommy, and I thank you for that. I hug my daughter when I get frustrated with her,(she is crawling and into everything now) and tell her I love more everyday.
    Thank you for being so honest in your blog and sharing your soul. Our Heavenly Father is proud of you for holding to your faith during this trying time. I know you will see Audrey again one day as she welcomes you HOME!!! She is smiling down on you and your family.

    With love and hugs when we meet,

    Sharlynn

  • Laurie

    I have been reading for a couple of months and am always so encouraged by your faith. I too love the Lord and love reading your encouraging words!
    -Laurie from Nashville

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • The Colonel & Princess Sanders.

    Oh, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Sharlynn

  • Jenn

    I also did not know Jesus when I met my husband. Just another way God works in funny ways. His mother forced me to go to church with them, and now almost 7 years later I work with a womens group, and am teaching the pre youth. Im sure we all have a funny story that goes with meeting our spouses. I met mine online. Im looking forward to the long version of that story!!

  • Amanda

    Happy Belated Birthday Angie! And can’t wait to meet you too :-)

  • Lori Ann

    Angie, I have been reading for a while. I have already sent someone to your blog who is in a similar situation. Thank you for letting the Spirit speak through you and listening in the still quiet nights.
    Thank you.
    Lori Clark
    Portland, Or.

  • godzgaljen

    I’m so glad you had a great birthday! I emailed you last week with a prayer. You inspire me beyond words. I love that your testimony and life is truly pointing(always) to that Hero, Jesus Christ!

    Jen

  • Sal Gal

    Happy Birthday Angie! Thanks just doesn’t seem like enough to say but thanks for being a witness of our Savior, I do hope you get to publish a book, you are talented!

    WHEN you come to visit Utah, you’ll stay with me, bring your kids and we’ll have a blast! I have many friends here who also want to meet you! :)

  • Susie Harris

    Angie, I hope you will never go to bed feeling alone. You have so many friends out here that would love to meet you. I being one of those people would love to just sit down, have a large “sonic” coke, and watch our girls play together. You are so true and honest it makes it so easy to fall in love with you. I dont think it matters how you came to know Jesus or what shape you were in. What matters is that you love him and he adores you! We all have a past before we gave our heart to him. Cant wait till we run into each other. Your friend came close. She came to Baton Rouge for a wedding. =) Keep your head up. It’s easier to see heaven that way! Your sister in Christ… Susie Harris

  • David, Ashley and Noah

    You are one of the sweetest Christian women I ever hope to meet. I’ve been (silently) struggling with my walk lately…trying to figure out if I really have a walk or if this is just a stupid ploy of satan to separate me from God. I will continue to pray for you and hope that your blog will continue to bless everyone that reads it and aundrey’s name. She will impact people for many years, I’m sure of it!

  • Tamora

    Happy Birthday! What a precious day you had! You are a true inspiration! I shared your story with my pastor Sunday at our picnic. He knew of Selah and your husband, and I wanted to share you with him and what you and your story has meant to me.
    Can’t wait to see you one day :*)

  • Anonymous

    you are so sweet..I love to read your writing. I pray that you find the right time to share your story. You are an amazing inspiration….I can’t wait to meet you.
    A friend in Texas

  • Stephanie Spence

    Angie….as a “liberal” in all sense of the word….I want you to know that traveling on this journey with you has changed me. I now see a different side of myself than I had not even known existed, and while my political beliefs have not changed, my journey and destination have. While I have always known God, I feel renewed hope when reading about you and your journey. I am a new mother and love my child with everything in me and I truly admire you and all that you stand for, I hope to one day share the same intense faith that you have.

  • Stephanie Spence

    And I am still praying for you!

  • Cerulean Blue

    I sent you birthday wishes and prayer thru an email… you replied, and I feel like i was the one who received the gift…

    Hebrews 11:1 never ends… FAITH will never have an end…

    I have FAITH we will meet one day.

    thanks again for blessing us all with your words and testimonies….WOW!
    ~Christy~

  • Jen

    I can’t wait to meet you either, Angie, and I’m so glad you have allowed the possibility… makes me feel less like a crazed fan *grin*. I’ve told my husband when we “come over” next year (for a weding in DFW) we might be making an extra detour. I can’t wait to hug you tight, to play with your girls, to meet Todd (would he mind if we were suitably star-struck and shy for a while?) and praise and worship together…

    And then I will miss you.

    You are so loved, Angie. Happy Birthday.

  • Johannah

    I have read this for about a month now, and your family is in my prayers. Even though I have not personally gone through something like losing a child, my heart hurts for those that do…that heart also cries out to God knowing that He knows all our hearts and hears our cries and answers the best way for us.
    Also I just had to say that of course we will meet. Maybe not on this earth that we know, but we will for sure meet when we are all with God. :-)

  • Jami Jann

    Angie —

    I have followed your blog and Audrey’s story for a while now. I can’t even remember how I came across it for sure – obviously through another blog (Eva’s I think).

    I have never posted. But…today I felt I should. Just to say hello, Happy Belated Birthday, and to tell you that you have touched my life in a way that I cannot even describe. I have not gone through the pain or hurt you have, but each day as I struggle to be the best mom, wife, and child of God that I can be, your words and your story stay with me. You are such an inspiration and such an encouragement in the way you share and write. I love you and your precious family (not to mention we LOVE Selah and Todd’s voice too). I pray for you daily. And…I cannot wait to meet you some day and squeeze you tight. Or…as we say here in SC – hug your neck!

    You are loved! Thank you for blessing my life daily!

  • April Elizabeth

    It sounds like you had a great birthday. You and your family are in my prayers. Thank you for being open and honest.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    I hope to meet you one day too. I have continually prayed for you and your family. I have also made my hubby stay up after we have put the kids to bed and listen to me go on and on about your story. At times he has told me to stop reading because I would come to him in tears hurting for you all. I just have to say that God has used you to encourage me in my fear of “How could I deal with that kind of pain?” You have shown me that HE is still faithful even in the midst of our deepest sorrow.I pray you have a sweet day tomorrow and one that brings you peace and joy that only God can bring. I too hope to meet you one day but I would probably just stand there and cry. Have a wonderful day!
    Aimee from Goodlettsville

  • secondofwett

    I hope you do get to write your book and that you don another song w/the lyrics changed…both my daughter and I went through the same nightmare, 28 years apart,of losing unborn children. Even though it’s very hard to go through it yourself, it’s even harder to watch your child go through such a heart breaking time. My child, Leah and my little grandson, Hayden are in heaven and I will rejoice when I can hug them both.

  • Jody

    So amazing. I am so humbled too, at how God uses the fallen, broken, messed up things of this world to shine His glory and to bring Him joy. You are doing that. Audrey is doing that. Anyone who opens their heart to God can do that…and I am so glad you are so transparent and real that way. I can’t wait to read more of your answers and stories of life and learning as you follow this path God has you on.
    And someday I look forward to meeting you too!
    So glad you had a wonderful birthday and cake too. =)

  • Anonymous

    I keep coming back to your story – and you have heard this statement I am sure, thousands of times – but you are truly amazing. In so many ways. Your last entry of, I can’t wait to meet you, was so moving. I get inspiration from you daily. I am looking forward to the day we meet.

  • Andrea

    Hi Angie-
    Happy belated Birthday!

    I came to your blog through Kenzie’s and was immediately drawn in to what God has been helping you walk through. My heart breaks each time I hear of parents who have to endure the loss of a child but also am so in awe at the amazing work He does in and through them.

    So much of what you’ve written in this post really touched me – especially about the desire to write and the prayers it be clearly God-driven (Amen!)and sharing your testimony. I wanted to encourage you on the last part – clearly God has equipped you with the ability to reach others through writing and He will continually to powerfully do the same through your testimony (which I know you know, but it can still be scary :) ). Feeling like a fraud because I once did not believe in Him sometimes keeps me from confessing my faith to other Christians who I think have always had it all together…but it’s amazing what He does when we share it.

    Praying we will meet soon :)

  • Leanne

    Happy birthday!

    Angie, I love your writings. Your writings expose something in me that has been hidden for four years, since my Janie Rose went to be with the Lord. I always have to fight down that huge lump in my throat when I read your blog!! I remember things and feel things I haven’t felt or thought about in years…..

    It’s a good thing. I want to always be able to feel and know and remember that piece of my quilt that the Lord is sewing out of my life.

    And if we ever meet, I want to hug you around the neck and let all of my tears flow with you, a mom who KNOWS.

    Till then,
    Leanne in Longview
    http://mysupplications.blogspot.com

  • Karen

    Happy Belated Birthday, friend!! I feel like I already know you…and can’t wait to hug you…when we meet! ;-)

  • Colleen

    Okay Angie,
    I knew that this day would come that God would give me something special to share with you…well, guess what, today is the day. First of all, ever since Sarah from Spirit 105.3 here in Seattle posted your blog, I’ve been following it. As I read it from start to finish, I cried my way through it, having to ask myself many times, “Is it harder to have a baby or not to ever be able to have one, when all you’ve dreamed from childhood about is being a mommy…I’m not sure…but what I do know is that God is faithful and showed me at our Women’s Retreat in March that, as our speaker shared with us is that “Having my own child doesn’t define me, but being God’s child does.” And that if I had my own daughter (I’ve always wanted a Molly) that I wouldn’t have the time to love and minister to all the “daughters” that God has already given me…..I could go on and on, but I will say that this was the best Mother’s Day I’ve ever had, knowing that my definition is not in being a Mom, but it’s in Jesus!

    Also, I collect “name books” and was looking up a name for a friend who is having a baby in October and thought I’d look up Audrey Caroline while in the process and this is exactly what it says…
    Audrey…
    Inherent meaning – Noble Strength
    Spiritual connotation – Overcomer of Many Difficulties (she lived for you to hold her, cuddle her, and tell her how much you love her)Scripture – 1 John 2:14 NKJV
    “I have written you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one.”

    Caroline…
    Inherent meaning – Womanly
    Spiritual connotation – Filled with Praise
    Scripture – Psalms 150:6 NKJV
    “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!”

    I love you and am continuing to pray for you….until we meet…

    Love, Colleen Idso
    Duvall, WA

  • Colleen

    Okay Angie,
    I knew that this day would come that God would give me something special to share with you…well, guess what, today is the day. First of all, ever since Sarah from Spirit 105.3 here in Seattle posted your blog, I’ve been following it. As I read it from start to finish, I cried my way through it, having to ask myself many times, “Is it harder to have a baby or not to ever be able to have one, when all you’ve dreamed from childhood about is being a mommy…I’m not sure…but what I do know is that God is faithful and showed me at our Women’s Retreat in March that, as our speaker shared with us is that “Having my own child doesn’t define me, but being God’s child does.” And that if I had my own daughter (I’ve always wanted a Molly) that I wouldn’t have the time to love and minister to all the “daughters” that God has already given me…..I could go on and on, but I will say that this was the best Mother’s Day I’ve ever had, knowing that my definition is not in being a Mom, but it’s in Jesus!

    Also, I collect “name books” and was looking up a name for a friend who is having a baby in October and thought I’d look up Audrey Caroline while in the process and this is exactly what it says…
    Audrey…
    Inherent meaning – Noble Strength
    Spiritual connotation – Overcomer of Many Difficulties (she lived for you to hold her, cuddle her, and tell her how much you love her)Scripture – 1 John 2:14 NKJV
    “I have written you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one.”

    Caroline…
    Inherent meaning – Womanly
    Spiritual connotation – Filled with Praise
    Scripture – Psalms 150:6 NKJV
    “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!”

    I love you and am continuing to pray for you….until we meet…

    Love, Colleen Idso
    Duvall, WA

  • Jungheims

    Wow, these are some great questions! I am embarassed to say that I have only come up with one question….one that I’ve pondered since the first time I opened your blog and hadn’t had the nerve to ask. Are you ready to tackle it?? Prepare yourself…….

    Is the picture behind the blog title (the girl’s boots splashing in the puddle) one of your girls or just a photo you found?

    Profound and life-important, I know! This is how deep I often am! =) Either way, I love the picture. It captures the joy of childhood exploration!

    Looking forward to seeing you soon!

    Lisa
    Grace’s Mom

  • Anonymous

    Angie, wishing you a very happy belated birthday and offer thanks to God that it was indeed a good day for you.

    I await the release of Audrey Caroline’s CD — the demo on your website is so very beautiful. Surely God has many good things in store for you and your family as He uses you to tell your story in words or whatever way.

    My daughter lost her first child in the fall 2006 at about 5 months into the pregnancy — I can’t tell you the incredible days we spent then but you know firsthand the pain. Unfortunately my daughter does is a non-believer and I prayed that a miracle would change her heart. There is an Italian saying “pian, piano” which wants to say “slowly, slowly” and I continue to pray that she will re-find her faith one day. I found a very talented celloist, Sean Paul and he agreed to write a song dedicated to Ever (the name of my granddaughter we lost). It was like a symphonic birth certificate and a way for the world to come to know and love a piece of Ever. The song is on his “Everlasting” CD which has the theme of life in general. He allowed me to select the name of the song and it is “For Ever”. You can hear a sample of it on line I think if you are interested in going to Sean Paul’s website. I know Audrey’s song will touch many hearts and I hope you don’t mind that I consider it yet another reminder of the beautiful little Ever that I was able to hold far too short a time before we said goodbye.

    Ciao,
    Dee
    Wake Forest, NC

  • dancingdreamer

    Angie,

    Did you know that Audrey’s name means “Noble Strength”? Her name is very fitting of the strong impact she has made on the world. She is a special child, and you are a special woman for honoring the Lord during such a painful season. I know the Lord is very proud of you for the way you have glorified Him.

    I pray that the Lord will continue to hold you in the palm of His hand and bless your life abundantly!

    Numbers 6:24-26

    The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.

    A sister in Christ,
    Amy

    P.S. I will be one of the first people to buy your book. I trust that the Lord will open doors and give you many confirmations about writing Audrey’s story.

  • Colleen

    Sorry mine’s out there twice…I have no clue what I’m doing….
    Colleen

  • Anonymous

    Happy Birthday, Friend! When I meet you, I’ll give you a belated birthday hug. Erika :)

    P.S. As a fellow, aspiring writer, I have to just say that you really are a gifted writer. Don’t think I’ve mentioned that before. ;)

  • the rye family

    can’t wait to meet you in person because i feel like i already “know” you from reading your blog! happy, happy birthday! :)

  • Megan

    Angie and gang, Thanks for a new post. I have only been reading for a week or so, but my heart continues to praise the Lord for His providence, His will and His grace. I have been stretched by your story, and the Lord has worked on my heart through it. Thank you.
    I want to read your book…I wish I could call you about parenting…you really are using the gifts that the Lord has blessed you with to reach others! Praise Him for that!
    If you are ever in Southern California…

    Megan

  • Sarah Jones

    Happy belated birthday! I wrote you an e-mail a couple weeks back and I wanted to let you know that after reading your blog for a month and thinking on it, I passed it along to my friend who’s son died shortly after birth from Potter’s Syndrome. She still is not dealing with things well and started going to church through her pure suffering. I think it was a “well nothing else has helped so maybe I can turn to God” sort of thing. Anyways, I was worried about sending the blog to her because it would open up wounds but knowing how God envelops me in peace and pure joy every time I read your blog, I knew it was something she needed to read too. God reaches out through your words and you reach out through your experience. You had nearly identical experiences and I thought that through reading it and seeing how you see God, that God would reach out to her and she could feel what I feel when I read this. I haven’t asked her progress on the blog, I just know that she has been reading and please know that it means so much to me. She was not going to church at all and has not been saved yet but she is growing in her walk with God and I am confident that God will use this to help her along. Thank you for everything you write. You feel like a dear friend to me. Someone I love as a sister and check up on daily. Until we meet :)

    Sarah Jones
    Battle Ground Wa.

  • The Beaver Bunch

    Angie,
    I have also been “mulling” over the idea of a book. I feel, in no way, competent, well-versed or experienced enough to do anything of the sort. However, I’m trusting God. I love that when you write, I feel like I am sitting across the sofa from you, w/ a good cup of coffee and we’ve known each other forever. I pray that if I ever write, my readers would feel the same. God bless you.

  • The Rudd Family

    Happy Birthday, Angie. I, too can’t wait to meet you and give you the hug I have been praying over you since I found your blog before Audrey was born.

    Don’t ever stop writing!

    Julie

  • kjoy

    When you said that so many strangers remembered your birthday, I felt ashamed because I don’t always even remember the birthdays for my friends! Because I consider you a friend, though, I’ll do the same as I do for my poor friends who get missed year after year–wish you a very happy belated birthday! It’s good to hear from you again and I am very glad to hear how God has put such amazing opportunities in front of you. As for your testimony, I can respect the need to think about what to say. Know that whatever your past before Jesus found you, it’s all been forgiven and paid for–and I won’t be judging! I was saved in gradeschool and I’ve grown up in a Christian family going to church all my life, yet I feel like I don’t know God nearly as deeply as you do. You have been such a blessing & inspiration. And yes, I too would be honored to meet you some day!

  • Jenny

    Happy Belated Birthday Angie! What a great post! Thanks so much for sharing. As said before, you are such an inspiration.
    Til we meet!:)

  • Lisa

    Angie-

    I spent the better part of my day yesterday wishing a “stranger” a Happy Birthday, then it occurred to me…you are not a stranger at all, to anyone who has had the blessing of hearing your story and sharing in the beauty of faith in your words, you are a friend. I have included you, and Todd, and your girls in my prayers just about everyday since I “met” you here, and although you don’t know me as well back, please know you have touched my heart and life with your words in the same way a best friend would. I also cannot wait until I can buy a copy of your beautiful song…there is a space in my Ipod with your name written all over it that’s for sure! :)
    The special moments and incredible faith you share here have helped me focus on more time with God and have touched me in a way that I can never fully explain. There is no mistake that I ended up here and I am so thankful for that.
    Happy Birthday Angie, and please know that you are very special to all of us…big hugs and many thanks to such a special friend! Oh, and with the blessing of a husband with employee flight priveleges, I can’t wait to meet you either! ;)

    Big hugs and many prayers,
    Lisa M.
    Minnesota

  • Annie

    I am so glad you guys decided to do a boy version of the song. (I have friends who have lost boy babies and this song would be so comforting to them.) It is so beautiful.

    You are such a special person to be able to openly share about your life and your feelings. I appreciate your honesty and always look forward to your next post. I am praying for you.

    If you want to read something uplifting…I would encourage you to visit my blog Joel’s Journey ~ lovejoelr.blogspot.com (I know you probably don’t have a lot of time so I understand if you don’t). I have had the honor of watching God work multiple miracles in my son. He started having seizures at 6 weeks old, was diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis at 9 weeks old and basically had non-stop seizures until he was 15 months old when he had almost a quarter of his brain removed to stop the seizures. Up until the surgery he was basically limp and we didn’t know if he could see. He didn’t interact. The pain of watching your baby go through this and the sadness that your baby is not experiencing the joy of everyday life that other babies are makes me feel connected to your pain in a way. I know it is probably not nearly as bad as losing a baby, but I do understand some of what you are feeling. Also, when I handed him over to a nurse in his surgery team the morning of his surgery not knowing if I would see him alive again was the most awful moment of my life…it felt like my heart had been violently ripped out of my chest. I don’t know how you survive pain like that every day. You are incredibly strong. Anyways, back to the miracles…God is good and prevails through the pain. So I would like to encourage you…but I can’t list all the miracles here because this comment is already wayyyy too long. So I will go to my blog this evening and write a post about God’s miracles.

    Sorry if this post is hard to follow…I started crying halfway through and then it’s hard to straighten out my thoughts.

    Until we meet (whether on earth or in heaven)…your sister in Christ,
    Annie

  • Anonymous

    angie,

    thanks for letting God pick you, and use you in the midst of your sorrow. children are so beautiful. it’s interesting that God wants to hold us and love us, and feel our need for him, the same way you wanted those things with little audrey. i hold my baby boy a little tighter, and rock him a little longer, and love him a little stronger every day. thank you for all that you give us each day, just by sharing your heart. you keep me from taking things for granted.

  • Kelli Lauren

    Oh, sweet Angie-

    I never know what to write here. I can never find the right thing to say because there ISN’T the right thing. There are NO words, at all, to describe you and how you’ve touched my life. You are truly amazing in every single way. To me, you are a hero and a role model that I hope to be more like. Always in my thoughts, always in my heart, and always in my prayer.I already “know” you. I can’t wait until the day we meet and can share that warm embrace I’ve been longing for since day one!

    LOVE x3.

    Be blessed. Be happy. Believe.
    -Kelli

  • David and Lori Plus 8

    Hi Angie,
    Thank you for sharing your story with so many of us. I found your blog about 6 weeks ago, and it has changed me. The day after Mother’s Day, my sister lost her baby in her second trimester. My prayers of strength are with you both. I would LOVE to meet you one day….we’re close – I’m in Clarksville, just up the road. Happy Belated Birthday wishes to you. (I could go on and on, but this is just a comment section, isn’t it? Side note…do you know Kristin Henke?)

  • A Mothers Heart for China

    I don’t think you can comprehend what a blessing you are to so many people. I am an adoptive mother and one thing all adoptive mothers will say is that we can fall in love with our children before we ever meet or hold them…really in the same way as Jesus. But you have just fallen into that category. I have found that I love your heart without ever meeting you. I am blessed to just know you here in the blog world.

    God Bless You Friend!

  • Mackenzie’s Forever Family

    I have no doubt we will meet one day. It may not be in this lifetime but we will meet. And when we do there will be NO MORE pain.

  • Anonymous

    I am SURE that someone else has pointed you toward the book Waiting With Gabriel (i’ve read most of your blog but not all the comments) – but it is wonderful, Amy the author is a terribly lovely person, and your blog has been mentioned on the perinatalhospice listserve. She is working on a new book of family stories, but might be also a good resource for you both writing wise and emotionally/spiritually. UNTIL WE MEET….
    yours in Christ,
    Robin

  • Under the Scratch

    i just want you to know that i check your blog every night before i go to bed in hopes that you’ve posted something new. i discovered your blog through a friend and i sent an email out to about 20 of the most beloved people in my life with the link to your blog. each one responded with tears.

    i well up and sob everytime i come here. so overwhelmed for you, so inspired, and so relieved to see someone really live the life with jesus… the hard, the ridiculous, and the beautiful. thank you for being so transparent… thank you for being real and fighting with god (and telling the world about it). thank you for showing jesus in the most personal way i think i have ever seen. he’s beautiful, he’s wonderful, and he is it… HE’S IT! nothing else matters.

    i think of you everyday. really. i hurt, and groan for you. but even more than that, i know that you have joy and hope… and that is irreplaceable. thank you for never allowing my cheeks to be dry. your sweet audrey really is changing the world.

    will continue to remember you daily… in all things.

    tiffany ashford
    raleigh, nc

    i do look forward to meeting you somehow :)

  • Sun

    Happy Birthday! I absolutely love your blog – I sat down here today to catch up on some things and I checked hoping you had updated and you did! I wish I could just hug you – you are so precious. I cannot wait to read more about how you came to know Christ – I was a mess before Christ snatched me from certain disaster – He has and is SO faithful – He is SO present in your words that you write here – I want that – I want my words and my heart to just be SO full of Him that it spills over onto others! I hope I do get to meet you someday – I cannot wait to see what God has in store for you all – I will be in prayer! Sunshine

  • Under the Scratch

    i just want you to know that i check your blog every night before i go to bed in hopes that you’ve posted something new. i discovered your blog through a friend and i sent an email out to about 20 of the most beloved people in my life with the link to your blog. each one responded with tears.

    i well up and sob everytime i come here. so overwhelmed for you, so inspired, and so relieved to see someone really live the life with jesus… the hard, the ridiculous, and the beautiful. thank you for being so transparent… thank you for being real and fighting with god (and telling the world about it). thank you for showing jesus in the most personal way i think i have ever seen. he’s beautiful, he’s wonderful, and he is it… HE’S IT! nothing else matters.

    i think of you everyday. really. i hurt, and groan for you. but even more than that, i know that you have joy and hope… and that is irreplaceable. thank you for never allowing my cheeks to be dry. your sweet audrey really is changing the world.

    will continue to remember you daily… in all things.

    tiffany ashford
    raleigh, nc

    i do look forward to meeting you somehow :)

  • Amanda

    I am shocked to read that you have not been a life-long Christian. You speak as someone with a seasoned faith and a very deep relationship with God. I guess I have assumed that only comes with time. I have been a life-long Christian and am in awe of your clarity and discernment. I can’t wait to read your story! It reminds me that God does work miracles and offers Himself to all who seek Him.

    Thanks again for sharing all that you do! It is a wonderful ministry. I think it is beautiful the way you are connecting so many women with common wounds. God has indeed given you a voice…Audrey’s. Who would have guessed that a baby’s voice could reach so many people with such power. That’s what God can do with our lives.

    By the way, I’m pretty sure we will meet some day!

  • Luanne

    Happy Belated Birthday Angie,
    I haven’t left a message before even though I’ve been reading your blog for a while now. Just had to write after todays post to tell you that we have something in common. I too didn’t really know Jesus until I met your husband!!

    Okay I can explain. I was introduced to your husband on a beach in Naples Florida in March of 2004, when I popped a Selah cd into my player for the first time. Since that time their music has made such an impact on my relationship with Jesus and I am so unbelievably grateful.

    I also have had the pleasure of meeting you ever so briefly in Clio, Michigan, when Selah performed there a few years ago. It was a real family affair for you that night.
    As a grandmother of twin boys I couldn’t help but smile that night when I saw your twins in their little sailor dresses sitting in the front row. I am always in awe watching the twin dynamic.

    Thank you for sharing your life with us in such a personal way. My prayers will continue to be with your beautiful family (and for an extra dose of God’s peace next time you need to fly.)

    I can hardly wait for your book, Perhaps next time we meet it will be at another Selah concert, but this time it will be your book that you are selling.

    Gods Blessings
    Luanne

  • John and Brandy

    You are so AMAZING! I HOPE and PRAY that we will meet one day! Thank you so much and God Bless!!!

  • Liz

    Angie,
    I can’t wait to meet you, too! When you guys come to Tyler, TX, let me know! I’ll be there with bells on!

  • BuckeyeNP

    I love seeing a new post from you.I echo others’ thoughts at being surprised you are not a life-long Christian. However some of the strongest believers I know had dramatic conversions not so many years ago, and it gives me chills when I think about God and His power and His grace and how He works.

    The other thing is that listening to the words of “All My Praise” with your words and pictures of your family mingled on the screen just about does me in every time I get here…blessings to you.

  • Sarah

    Happy Belated Birthday, Angie :)

  • Michelle

    hey Angie, I cant WAIT to meet you. :) I did have the pleasure of meeting your Todd Saturday night, at a Selah concert here in Maine. My little girl was quite starstruck, you will hafta ask him about the little girl who stood up and shouted “Hey, thats YOU!” in the middle of his concert, waving the picture of the band around. He very sweetly asked her to turn and show the audience the picture. He is a sweetheart, and he made her day by responding instead of ignoring her. We got to get the picture autographed afterwards, and I had about 30 seconds to tell him all that you and this blog have meant to me. LOTS. And I got to tell Amy she ISNT fat, as she said during the concert, and thank her for saying even us chunky girls deserve to be loved. I LOVE their voices. And I love you for bringing me to them, and for bringing me closer to God. I feel it, I am not there yet, but I do feel it. And I know my daughter feels it, as someone at the concert said “That little girl has the spirit”…she is a dancing fool. :) Happy belated Birthday. And if you are ever in maine (it is a LONG way here huh?) we need to meet. :)

  • Kristin

    Your writing and your heart continues to amaze me. I am so thankful to see how the Lord is using you to touch so many hearts. May He be praised~

  • queenie76

    Angie,
    I was so glad to see thatyou posted on theblog. I check frequently just hoping that you guys are doing better, and that your story will be brought to others the way GOd intended., Clearly He as donb it. How cool is that to meet a stanger in another state, in a resturant that realized who you were!! I wish you a Happy Belated B’day! I usher at the Nashville Synphony Hall on a regular basis , easy money and see a great performance. Maybe I’ll see you there sometime. I’m sure you guiys have connections but if you need tickets I could try and help you out. Anyway, I have been blessed by you all and I wil continue to pray that The Lord will lead you in the right direction. BTW, how are the girls? They are just so darn cute! and I enjoy the stories you tell about them.
    Have a good rest of the week!

    Tara

  • Courtney Beddingfield

    You never cease to amaze me with each post. I am constantly learning something from you. You are a blessing to me. I have been telling everyone I know about your blog. I even posted a link to it on my blog. Sometimes, when I tell people about it, they already know. Audrey’s story is spreading like wildfire and it is changing people’s lives.

  • Sarah

    Angie,
    Happy Belated Birthday! Glad you had such a great day! I must say that I am very grateful to my friend who pointed me to your blog a month or so ago. You have blessed me in ways you will never know, through the story of Audrey, the story of your family and the story of yourself. I know it’s all in one to you but I have taken things away from all parts of what you share. I have a feeling that once you do write your blog about your journey to come to Christ I will be blessed with that as well. I wrote you an email recently about how your strength and faith in Jesus through the hardest times in your life helped me see my own hardships (divorce) in a different way. So thanks!

  • Tisha

    My husband bought me the Selah set of four for Mother’s Day and it was the first time I had ever listened to them. You were the one who helped me realize that I need to be closer to God. One of the ways I am doing that is by the music and now I find myself listening to Christian music more frequently than other types. It’s reassuring to know that even though I am not a life long Christian there is hope to be the type of Christian I need to be. My son and husband were brought to me at a time I needed them, though didn’t realize it, and it turned me towards God and I am forever thankful. It is his mysterious ways that I see it. We love you in Denver! Tisha

  • The Thompsons

    You are an amazing woman. I wish you a happy birthday. Thank you for sharing yourself and your story with us. You have defined strength, faith and hope for me. Thank you!

    Until we meet…

  • MOBACH’S

    thankyou so much for sharing so much of you family and your life with us in the “blog world”… i look forward to meeting you in heaven one day….and if heaven has a good coffee shop…its on me!!!

  • Laura

    I can’t wait to meet you too!! Sounds like your Birthday was special!

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    Thanks for posting again. I check your blog so often that my family would probably think I was crazy. I just want to know that you are all doing ok. I am so glad you are.
    I prayed for you yesterday knowing it was your birthday and that you were recording your song. I am really glad that you had a blessed day.
    Please do not feel bad about telling us about how you came to Jesus and your life before that. We will not judge and I am sure that we will be so encouraged by your story –”God Stories” are always the best because we get to see how God works!
    I pray everyday for you, Todd,Abby, Ellie and Kate and I will continue for a long time.
    Until we meet…
    Sue

  • Anonymous

    And I can’t wait to meet YOU. Happy belated birthday! Today, 20th, is mine. I’m 59 today, a grandmother and your life has touched me beyond words. Your blog is linked to mine and let me just say, you and precious Audrey are touching lives and hearts beyond what you could ever hope or imagine. If you are near Branson, MO is summer, let me know. We’ll at least meet and hug. OK?

  • Kim

    What an exciting post! I can’t wait to see the rest of God’s story!

  • amydc

    You are so very sweet & precious Angie.

  • Heidi Zawisza

    I can’t wait to meet you either! Whether it be in this life…or our final destination heaven, I look forward with much anticipation to meeting you.
    You have inspired me beyond words.
    God is so good.

  • Amy Jackson

    And I can’t wait to meet you

  • TerriRainer

    Happy belated birthday!

    Every post touches me, and you remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    I’m not sure why, but I have such a strong feeling that you will touch so many more on this journey, more than you ever thought possible (think Oprah).

    :) Terri

  • stephanie

    Well this is my first comment, but I have been catching up on your blog the past week or so since I’ve come acrossed it. Angie, you have such a beautiful heart- thank you for sharing it with us. It’s amazing how inspired and encouraged one can get in their walk with the Lord just by reading someone’s blog who is dealing with their own problems. You have given us all a new outlook and perspective on life, and I truly thank you for that. I SO HOPE to meet you someday! You are truly amazing and an inspiration. I desire your devotion to our sweet Jesus. As a college student (in Missouri) I pray and hope to come across women like you to have in my life, who can be an example of a godly woman/wife/mother/ and daughter of the King. Thank you for being an example of all of the above for me, and I PRAY we can meet in person!!! :) You are great.

    stephanielynnsouth@gmail.com

  • Becky

    Angie, first, Happy Birthday from one May baby to another! :)

    I can’t wait to hear the final of Audrey’s song. I am sure that God was very strong in that place during the recording of those words and music.

    Thank you for sharing a bit of your story, too. I could relate to much of what you shared.

    I grew up in a Christian home, but fell away for a time from the Lord. Almost 2 years ago exactly, He found me. I praise Him every day for that. I can’t wait to hear more of your story!

    I loved what you said about meeting someday – and count me among those who look forward to that day. What a glorious celebration!

    May God bless and keep you!

  • Laura Nipper

    Happy Birthday to you Angie. I found your blog from another blog that listed you as an inspirational person. Well of course I had to click on it. I was instantly drown to your story and after reading your letter to Audrey I cried and was so deeply touched. You have an amazing ability to write and shared God’s love in all things. I will be praying for you and your family.

  • Laura

    Angie, You are such a blessing to so many people. Thank you for sharing your sweet Audrey Caroline with the world. Your love for Christ is so evident in the words you write. I can’t wait to hear more about how you came to know Christ.

    I can’t wait to meet you!

    Laura in Mount Juliet

  • Cara

    Angie. *thank you*.

    You have an amazing gift – the gift to describe what you feel in a way so concise, so eloquent that I am left with a picture in my heart of what you’ve been feeling. Whether it be joy or grief. No doubt that God has GREAT plans to use that talent… and to bring much good of what the Enemy may have planned for evil. What a legacy Audrey has left already. I know God has even more in store.

    I cannot wait to hear your story of meeting Jesus. I have a past as well… and may it be true of me (as it already is of you) that “she who has been forgiven much, loves much”.

    Oh, my sister in Christ, we WILL meet, someday. And I will hug you, and I will hug Audrey. I’m sure I’ll have to wait in line, but hey, we’ll have eternity, won’t we?

  • Elizabeth

    Happy belated birthday! :-)

    This is the first time I’ve posted, but I’ve been reading for a long while. You have blessed countless women in my circle. Many of them have miscarried or lost babies late in pregnancy. Even for those who have not lost a baby, your “realness” is such a blessing. Thank you for being vulnerable so God can use you to minister to so many.

  • Anonymous

    Hello there friend…
    it seems we have already met :) You see, we’ve both been in the presence of the Lord…we’ve met there. I too, have a story like you (I think)…saved at 21 years old (later in life)…and by God’s awesome and incomprehensible grace go I :)

    Also…just a tidbit for Todd if it’s alright :) . Music is a huge part of my life and always has been. Becoming a Christian at 21 meant I had many years of music stored up in my heart and mind that was not so pleasing to the Lord. Having great Christian music is so important to me and is a big part of my walk. As soon as I heard this song by Selah, it played in tune with so much of my heart…took my breath away. I was as crazy for my savior on my wedding day as I was for my hubby…so we danced (attempted to waltz ha!) to Every Moment by Joy Williams first and we then slow danced to Wonderful, Merciful Savior by Selah….so now I can personally (sort of!) thank Todd and the rest of the group for that heart stopping song. Thank you!!

    And Thank you Angie and Todd for allowing the Lord to LIVE through you!!! What an encouragement you are to me:) Blessings to you! And happy belated Birthday!

    In Christ,
    Rosie…….:)
    (IL) sdgphotography.net

  • RefreshMom

    Having just found your blog tonight and reading from January through today, I can’t possibly express what is in my heart. The short and very simple version is Thank you for sharing Audrey’s story and being so honest and transparent in the midst of all you’ve been through. Without explaining why, I’ll just say that it has meant a great deal to see real faith in the midst of real pain. It’s a beautiful testimony. (And perhaps we’ll meet one day at a writer’s conference or publishers event!)

  • anonym

    Dear Angie, and the rest of the Smith family! :)

    I just wanted to tell you how much you have done…Not only for me but for so many others too leading us closer to Christ. You are a really wonderful woman with so much love and caring for other people! And it is also so amazing to see the way God is working through you and your sweet little daughter Audrey :) I am actually from a whole other side of the world, Scandinavia, and that maight say something about how many souls you have reached with your touching story.

    I have been a Christian my whole life, and been to a lot of meetings and heard many stories, but still, your story is stuck in my head. I can not help visiting your blog, to see if you have posted anything new. I have told your story to my friends in my bible group and I cant wait to see how this story will continue!

    Angie, I will just encourage you to continue this blog and being the amazing woman that you are! You really have God with you in this. I will continue praying for you and your family to be held and lifted up by God in this difficult time. Even though we might not meet in this lifetime, there is no doubt you are going to meet all the faces behind the prayers in heaven. And last but not least, I would just apoligize for my English on advance…Belated Happy Birthday, Angie!

    All my love and prayers

  • Amanda

    Happy bday!

    I hope I do get to meet you someday. You have touched and inspired me so much!

    Don’t worry about editing yourself. I love your honesty.

    You have such a sweet spirit and it always shows through your words.

    Still praying for you…

    ~Amanda

  • Worshipping One

    Happy Birthday Angie! This is my fisrt time writing in but I’ve been reading your blog for a while now. I want you to know I pray for you often. You have blessed me so much. Thank you for sharing this journey with us and what God is teaching you and showing you through this. Even though we’ve never met, If feels like I know you!! I’m sure we all feel that way. I thank God for you. You are very special!

  • Angie Plude

    What a dear spirit you have. I hope the sun shines bright for you and your girls today.

  • Chatty

    Oh Happy Birthday Angie!

    You bring tears to my eyes and a smile to my face with very word. You, Todd and the girls are such an inspiration to me! I’m thrilled to hear that you had such a wonderful birthday, I’m continuing to send prayers your way……

  • Kathi

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much with us. Reading about how you are navigating this rocky road is so inspiring. Your Bday sounds wonderful…and you deserved to have that kind of great day.

    I look forward to seeing how your story unfolds.
    Until we meet….

  • Anonymous

    Angie – here’s a question for you …
    While you have the ‘gift’ of writing and sharing your/Audrey’s story so amazingly, there are others out there in similar situations who don’t have that gift. Nor do they have the thousands of prayer warriors that you do. And, maybe, they don’t have any real support as they go through their ‘story.
    What can help those Christian survive the turbulence?

    NY Mariahna

  • Cheri

    You make me smile! :)

  • Laurie

    Angie,

    We may not know each other face to face yet, but I am getting to know you here as you share your heart and story. You are not a stranger to me.
    God is so good to connect us all heart to heart. I love that you are answering questions so we can all get to know you better. Audrey’s life is doing great things, bringing glory to Jesus around the world. I love to hear that you are “bumping” into prayer warriors as you go about “doing life”. May it bless your heart to overflowing as you go through this healing time. Praying for all of you here in my home.

    Love, Laurie in Ca.

  • Olivia

    Happy belated birthday Angie!!! no wonder i luv u so much…God almost made us on the same day…My bday was the 16th!
    Ps. I cant wait to meet you!!! xoxo

  • Patricia

    I’M THAT GIRL! I’m that girl you met in Destin at the Resturant, Pompano Joes to be exact! I can not begin to tell you how thankful I am to God for allowing me the chance to meet you and your family, hundreds of miles away from home at that.

    After I read your post last night I got up from the computer and thanked God over and over for showing me how he is working in my life. And that he is in control of every little detail!

    I have so many feelings running threw my head and it is so difficult to get them to the keyboard. I just feel as though my life has been changed in some way, because I was given the gift by God at the chance meeting!

    Your family is beautiful! In Heaven and on Earth!

    THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I look forward to the day we meet again!
    Blessings!!!!
    Patricia

  • 6 Bottelberghe’s

    Angie, I love keeping up with you and your blog. Happy belated birthday! You are a refreshing wonderful woman! I love your faith and your strength in all that God gives you! I feel like I know you. May God continue to give you words to minister to those of us who read your blog! I know that the Spirit is working thru this blog each time I read it! Thank you for allowing all of us into your life! May God continue to bless you! My prayers are with you! And yes I can’t wait to meet you one day either!

    Cathi
    South Dakota

  • Lauren

    Hi there. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but have never commented. Your words about Fall Creek Falls, Destin and Nashville make me think we’re closer (geographically) than I realized. I live in Birmingham (my brother lives in Nashville) and have gone on church retreats to Fall Creek Falls. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thank you for sharing your story.

  • Karen

    Once someone pointed me to your blog, I read it from beginning to end and have followed up since Audrey’s birth…. but I never commented; at least not until now.

    I don’t even know where to begin telling you how your faith and the way you share your heart so openly has affected me. I feel ashamed of all the times I complain to God about my life, which has in no way been filled with the heartache you have born. At the same time, I am encouraged. You have reminded me that my God is big enough to handle my tantrums.

    Looking forward to that day we meet!

  • Megan L Hutchings

    Happy Belated Birthday Angie!!!

    I can’t wait to read more about your journey to find Christ…I have always wondered if your passion for Him has been something you have always had or has grown over time and experience!

    I can’t wait to hear the song, buy the CD, and learn more about YOU!

  • Tami

    Angie,

    I haven’t posted here before, but I did send an e-mail your way a few weeks ago when I had first discovered your blog. Something in me today is urging me to post (I think we know what that “something” is). The last time I was here was last Wednesday. Last Wednesday was my second son’s birthday. His name is Kyle Thomas and he was our second son to go and be with our heavenly father. He was born on this day, and he died on this day. Although it was years ago, and I now have three sons here with me, his birthday this year struck me HARD! I had to call my husband at work and ask him to just put everything down and pray for me right then and there. I know that the reason it was so hard for me is because of the intense amount of prayer that I have been lifting for you, your family and your hearts right now. I know about some of the pain that you are experiencing and my heart aches again. The “scab” that has been there all this time was ripped away last Wednesday. It has been hard for me to go back to your blog… but I’m blessed that I did! I can’t wait to hear the song that you’re working on… specifically Elliott’s version. What an incredible way to cope with your grief and bring the positive. I know that your life… and Audrey’s life are changing people every day. I also know that my two little boys in heaven are dancing with Audrey and Elliott in the arms of Jesus. They have already been blessed by meeting eachother, and I know we will receive the same blessing someday. Thank you for sharing your life, the stories… and so much love.

    Tami
    familyzoo@ftcnet.net

  • Kristy

    Happy Belated Birthday! I hope you were surrounded by love! One of my co-workers brought me to your blog on the day that Sweet Audrey was born. I work on 25th Ave for a sports magazine so it’s always full of fun and laughter yet on that day I looked out the window at the hospital that you were at and it just wasn’t the same that day. I prayed and could only think of the sweet baby that I just gave birth to in February. It’s funny when I read your story I had this small feeling of guilt that I have this healthy baby and you were telling yours goodbye. I have continued reading your blog as it inspires me to not feel guilt, but to thank God for my beautiful healthy children everyday. It has changed my relationship with God in so many ways. I’m going through many struggles right now and they just keep getting thrown at me. In march I would have just given up, now I can’t help, but go with it and know that it’ll get better God has a purpose for me. I have my health, a wonderful family, loving husband, and God I just don’t know what more I could need. I thank you for your inspiration and passion and for sharing this beautiful story. I have thought about how wonderful it would be to meet you to say thank you in person and just to give you a hug since we are in the same city so when we meet I’ll do just that! God Bless you and your family always!

  • Anonymous

    Happy Birthday, old Lady. I reserve the right to tease because we are right around the same age. (And, no, I’m not old either!!!) :)

    Your post was great. The book idea? Perfect! Praise out loud to the Father who hears our prayers and blessedly lets things unfold in our lives……God is good–all the time. I know I don’t need to remind you, Angie, but just as He lets the good unfold….your stride is living proof that He allows the bad to unfold too. We have all kinds of growth from our good and bad experiences—and to make a precious, beautiful diamond, you need all kinds of pressure.

    See, if we had eternal vision and understanding–beyond our “human comprehension,” we would understand the irony of human pain and human time….how 80 or 90 years on earth is tiny drop in the bucket compared against eternity.

    We raise our arms, crying to God for relief, and it is okay (in His eyes) for us to endure–because He knows we will be “home” one day. And, it must be just moments in eternal time. You know what I mean?

    I do it too, we all do……cry and cry and cry to our Father. But, this whole thing we call life is SUCH a lesson, in and of itself.

    I asked my children to go outside and jump on the trampoline for 5 minutes. They thought I was crazy…because before they knew it–I was calling them back in. Then, I had them sit at the kitchen table and stare at the clock for 5 minutes. They complained that it was taking forever. (Try it with your kids—-they will never be able to do it.)

    The lesson is, that in both exercises the time is EXACTLY the same, but one feels painfully longer. You can kind of compare that against human time to eternal time. Our life on earth is like the 5 minutes on the trampoline……..it flys by (to our Heavenly Father). To us humans, however, it is just like staring at that clock. IT TAKES FOREVER!!

    I pray for you, Angie. I pray for you all the time. It is such a sweet thing to see that you are doing so well. I’m sure that your tears still water your pillow at night, or in the car, or, or, or, or…….But, our Father–the Great Healer–gives us everything we need. And, just as I am going through something earth shattering right now too….I feel justified to tell you something a dear friend told me, “God doesn’t care as much about our happiness as He does our holiness.”

    The key to life is to grow.

    How do each of us grow? In a million different ways. And, while we are doing all the growing–be it slow or fast—our Father sees us, hears us, knows us and loves us.

    This IS what it means to be held……

    Happy Birthday to you, Angie Smith. Till we ALL meet again as brothers and sisters under God,
    Becky Cain

    beckycain6@comcast.net

  • beckyjomama

    Girlfriend!!!
    I can’t wait to meet you either.

    My beautiful children are all gifts by the Grace of God through the wombs of other women. But I could not possibly love them anymore than I do. And I cannot even begin to imagine what losing one of them would be like. We have known “adoption loss” and that pain was excrutiating and humbling and drew me to my knees in ways I could not put into words if I tried. That, along with the sense of loss over any biological children we may have had if I were not “broken”, allows me to empathize with your pain and brings you to my heart in prayer every day.
    I will keep with your “no edit” policy and, so, not even go back and read what I have written, so forgive me if it makes no sense.

    When we meet you will know that that is just the way I roll.
    Rambling on and on and in the end not saying nearly enough of what I wanted to say all along.

    Just know that I love you in ways I don;t even understand myself. You, your man and your kids and, of course, sweet Audrey.

    In Him,
    Becky Jo

  • christina-defining moments

    I have been praying for you and a friend of mine who lost her baby 7 years ago Sunday. We sat together and cried at church. In those moments though I haven’t had either of your losses, I felt maybe a portion of your pain and prayed earnestly for you. I pray now that the Holy Spirit comforts you today and lifts you up. Until we meet…

  • christina-defining moments

    I have been praying for you and a friend of mine who lost her baby 7 years ago Sunday. We sat together and cried at church. In those moments though I haven’t had either of your losses, I felt maybe a portion of your pain and prayed earnestly for you. I pray now that the Holy Spirit comforts you today and lifts you up. Until we meet…

  • Anonymous

    Angie, I started reading your blog last week and you have been on my mind and in my heart everyday since, and I am praying for our Saviour to continue to increase your faith, dear sister.

    I have recommended your blog to several friends. As 20-something single women, the LORD is growing and stretching each of us in different ways, and you have shared Jesus in a way that is so real and raw. You have been such an encouragment. You are a woman after God’s own heart, Angie, and God has challenged me to greater faith through you! How beautiful are the feet of those who bring Good News!!!

    I dearly long for the day when we meet face to face–we know it will be on the other Side, if not before!

    Grace and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Kim
    kam381@gmail.com

  • Mrs Mitchell

    Hi Angie,
    As I write this, I notice that you already have 116 comments LOL. When I was reading your paragraph about how people say “Though we may never meet”, etc … I couldn’t help but think “We will”. Even if we don’t meet here on earth, I know I personally will have the chance to give you a hug when we’re all up in Heaven. I want you to know that I am yet another woman, here in Colorado Springs, CO, that you have inspired. I am 25 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, and I absolutely admire your strength and your trust in our Father. My body is flirting with the complication of preeclampsia … which as of a few weeks ago, had me scared to death. But, your faith has helped me realize that God has a plan. He has my baby and I in his hands, and nothing outside of his will is going to happen. It thrills me to know that you will see your Audrey again … she’s simply up playing with the angels right now :)

    Much love!

  • The Miller Family

    I’m so excited to meet you and your fabulous family! :o )

    And thank you……

  • NC

    Angie, I am not sure if you will even remember us but two Christmas’ ago, we met you and your husband in line waiting to see Santa. You had overheard me calling for my daughter whose name is Selah and asked me what her name was and if I had ever heard of your husband’s group. Of course we had and were so honored to meet you and your beautiful family that day. About a month ago, a friend of mine had asked me if knew of the group Selah and your husband and told me what was going on with your family. I was just heartbroken! Since then, I found your blog and have been faithfully reading it. Your daughter is just beautiful and those pictures of you and your family with her are just breathtaking. I just want you to know that I am praying for you and your family and your honesty and openness inspires me more than you will ever know. Your faith pushes me. You are so sweet and special and I have always remembered the sweet conversation we had with you and Todd just for those few minutes waiting for Santa. God bless you always and have a very special birthday.
    Blessings,
    Nicole

  • jacki

    happy birthday! my birthday is on thursday. :)

  • ~Kate

    YOu continue to be a blessing in my life through your words and life experience and a blessing to so many other people. Thank you for continuing to share! Your stories and writings always lift me up!!

    Til we meet!
    ~Kate

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • M & J

    I just found your blog recently. Although I have not finished reading it all I am thankful that you have had the courge and strength to share your story.

    God bless! I know if we don’t met in this life we for sure will in the next!

    Hugs!

  • Anonymous

    Angie,

    Hello! You don’t know me but if we were in a crowed room I could pick you out. Christians know Christians:)

    I can’t wait to hear your story. Everyone has “that” story whether it is good or bad.

    I wasn’t a Christian either when I got married. God found me a year after we were married. I have hung on to Him ever since. I have not always made the right choices but He has stuck beside me through-out it all.

    God is the author of our stories. He knows what is best for us. I would have not picked my story but I have grown closer to HIm while living through it.

    I was sexual abused by a cousin when I was around 8 and it stopped when I was about 10. I was not treated very well by a few of my other cousins. God knew what He was doing.( When I look back and I feel like I should be in my 50′s not 38.)

    There is more to my story but I just wanted you to know that God whispers in the sunshine and in the rain. I am so Grateful for all the Forgiveness He gives and the Grace He offers so freely.

    I thank you for being so “real” and so “raw”. It is so refreshing to see a person that is willing to share their self. I am around so many others that are afraid how they would be judged if they were open with their feelings.

    Thank You! Thank You!

    Love to you,

    Renee

  • Courtney Beddingfield

    Oh, I also meant to say that my parents live in Franklin so maybe we WILL run into each other one day. I tend to frequent the Chick-fil-A in Cool Springs with my 3 little ones. I would love to be able to tell you in person how wonderful you are! P.S. Your little Kate reminds me of my youngest, Leah, when she is sucking her thumb. :)

  • Jill Williams

    We will get to meet someday. If not in this life, then for sure the next if Jesus lives in our hearts. Happy belated birthday and I hope to meet you soon. :)

  • hinesight

    Although I have left few comments, you and your family are often on my heart, and always in my prayers. I certainly will continue to pray for you as you discern what God has for you. Your faith is mind-boggling, not least because you are so open about the times when living out faith every day is just hard.

  • Anonymous

    Hey Jacki–Happy birthday on Thursday. :) Saw your post at the bottom!

    None of us are strangers now!!

    Love,
    Becky Cain

    :)

  • waiting

    Happy Belated Birthday! I was in Destin from the 14th-19th. I wish I would have met you at one of the many restaurants we ate at. I hope you had a peaceful time at the beach. I know that I did. I spent some great time talking with God on the beach. I pray he continues to bless you in the coming year!

  • Kelly

    Happy belated Birthday! I am so glad you had a good one. Every time I read one of your posts, I either a) cry or b) get chills, sometimes both. You are a beautiful writer and person. One of these days when I visiting friends in Nashville, I will run into you or maybe if you happen to be in Memphis. I just know it!

  • Jenna

    Happy Belated Birthday, Angie!

    What a wonderful way to spend it. Thank you so much for sharing your heart so openly–I am always so humbled to be able to read and just hear God speak through your words. It’s quite amazing really, and I feel blessed to be able to pray for your sweet, sweet family.

  • Anonymous

    You are such a beautiful, Godly woman. I can’t wait to meet you! Prayers from WNY.
    Erin

  • Megan

    Thank you for being willing to share more of you with all of us. Loved hearing the “beginning” of Audrey’s story, how her Mommy and Daddy met! My husband’s family lives outside of Nashville and some time when we visit I hope I will be walking through Target and run into you. If you see a crazy blonde with braces draggin two little kids to come give you a huge hug, you know it’s me! Happy Birthday! I can’t wait for the new album!

  • Anonymous

    Happy Belated Birthday! Looking forward to reading your salvation story.

    Robin in New Jersey

  • Anonymous

    Hi!!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! We just moved this past weekend and I am just now getting to a computer now that it’s all set up. I thought of you and prayed for you on your special day! I’m so happy to hear that it was a good one! :)

    CAN’T WAIT TO MEET YOU!!!! Our family also goes to Destin to the beach! :) Isn’t it gorgeous! Maybe we’ll see you there!

    I thought of another question for you since I am also a mommy of twin girls. They are 2, I have a little boy who is 4 and a new baby boy who is 3 months. Anyway…what is your funniest twin story? If your like me, there are MANY to tell! :P

    Lots of love to you friend!
    Amy
    amy@philippians121.com

  • The Woman Formerly Known as Jenn

    Angie, I read your blog from the beginning yesterday (not knowing it was your birthday – happy belated!). I was touched beyond all words. I told your story to my husband and cried while doing so … and hearing it brought him to tears.

    Reading your story made me want to know you, want to have the relationship with God that you do. I believe in God, but I’ve never had the kind of faith you do. Your belief in Him is so strong, it practically grabbed me through the computer screen. I wish I had that. I wish I knew how to even being trying for it.

    You and your family are in my prayers, in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story, sharing your strength, and sharing your heart. I am a better person for it.

    ~Jenn~

  • Joy

    Don’t feel ill-equipped. Young David slayed Goliath with a slingshot. YOU CAN DO THIS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS! I look so forward to purchasing the music in the spring, and your book when it comes out.

    I’ve often thought that if I saw you in public I could pick you right out of the crowd. So WHEN we meet, whether on earth or heaven, *HUGS*

  • Sarah

    Hey Angie. Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog, commenting, and most importantly for praying for me! THanks also for the compliments of my son. He certainly is the joy of my life! It’s crazy for me to think that I am praying for you as you pray for me but yet have never met! But as you said, you never know! One day we shall meet, which side of heaven, who knows, but I can’t wait to meet you!!

  • Monica

    So you were in Destin!? Well, next time you come I’d love to meet you. Happy belated birthday and I’m glad that everything was wonderful for you. Looking forward to hearing Audrey’s song. Is the demo on here somewhere?

  • Rebekah

    I have been reading your blog for a while now, and I just want to say thank you for sharing your strength and faith with me. I have a 3-year old and had decided not to have any more children, but after reading your story I feel that the Lord is guiding me to have another. I continue to pray about it, so if it be His will it will happen.
    You have touched my in ways that I will never be able to verbalize. Thanks you for sharing and inspiring me to do the same.
    You and your family are constantly in my prayers.

    Rebekah

  • Honea Household

    Happy Belated Birthday! And I cannot WAIT to meet you either! And I know that God is going to use your story in a mighty way! And if and when you do write a book, you can count on me as a buyer! :)

    I went to a summer camp at Falls Creek and it was awesome! I loved it! Still praying for you. There is a mother in my daughter’s class who just lost her little girl. She was only a month from her due date. When I heard the news, I immediately thought of you and wished you could be here to comfort her.

  • The Rhoderick Family

    Hi Angie, I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. I want you to know that I am saying special prayers for your little girls too. I lost my daughter Jillian on January 7th, 2005 when she was born asleep. At the time I had 2 boys ages 5 and 3. It was a difficult time of questioning and just trying to help them understand something that we all confused about. They are now 7 1/2 and 6 and we have another little boy now. Jakob and Jaden still talk about their sister who they will see one day in Heaven. It warms my heart to know that she made such an impact on them and they never even truely knew her. Anyway, I just want you to know the song really touched me as I could totally relate to the loss of a baby girl. Always in my prayers, Kari

  • The Rhoderick Family

    Hi Angie, I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. I want you to know that I am saying special prayers for your little girls too. I lost my daughter Jillian on January 7th, 2005 when she was born asleep. At the time I had 2 boys ages 5 and 3. It was a difficult time of questioning and just trying to help them understand something that we all confused about. They are now 7 1/2 and 6 and we have another little boy now. Jakob and Jaden still talk about their sister who they will see one day in Heaven. It warms my heart to know that she made such an impact on them and they never even truely knew her. Anyway, I just want you to know the song really touched me as I could totally relate to the loss of a baby girl. Always in my prayers, Kari

  • Pipsylou

    Your courage asks me what I am afraid of. We’re up against some difficult medical conditions concerning our daughter and I just wanted you to know you are such an encouragement to me.

  • Anonymous

    Happy Belated Birthday! Thank you for being so honest! Continuing to pray.

    Your Sister in Christ ~ Christi

  • bransblahg

    I love your spirit that comes acrossed in your posts. I have been reading your blog since I saw your video on Pete Wilson’s blog. I think you are amazing to share this story with the world. I have passed it on myself to my sister in law who miscarried two babies. Your words are so powerful and your testimony so priceless.

    Keep writing!

  • Tiffany

    Happy Belated Birthday Angie.

    And btw..thank you for sharing a little bit about your faith and your walk with Jesus. I too did not grow up in church, did not know Jesus until I was 19 years old. I believe that if God can use me (who happens to be a pastor’s wife…of all things!) He can use anyone. Your writing has inspired and touched me. It has touched my husband as well, who is not an emotional man, but knows the power of Jesus and the love He bestows on us in even the darkest of circumstances. Blessings to you!

  • Overwhelmed!

    Happy Belated Birthday, Angie!

    When you mentioned a restaurant in Destin did you mean Destin, FL? I come to Ft. Walton Beach, FL on business every year (I was there in April) and spend time in Destin while I’m there.

  • Erin

    Happy belated birthday!!!! I’m so happy that you had a wonderful day – you so deserve it!

    ***TEARS*** I LOVE LOVE LOVE your song!!!! I have listened to it no less that a thousand times in the last 2 weeks. It has blessed me in ways that you will never know! I was dreading Mother’s Day with a passion and the week of God led me to your site – I believe – just so that I would hear that song and realize for the 1st time since I lost my son Jaxon last July that I am blessed to have been chosen to carry him! I was able to carry my baby for his entire life – in some ways that thought brings me peace! Many times I have wished that I had a “boy” version – God heard my heart! Thank you so so so so much! I can’t wait to hear it!

    Is there a way to get a copy? If you have time please email me to let me know how I can get my hands on it! Thank you again!
    ~Erin

  • D

    Happy Belated Birthday!! I am also one that has never posted before. I check your blog often to see if there are any updates. I actually heard about it while listening to the Family Life Radio sharathon, right when Audrey was born. I just wanted to post that I used your story as an example to two of my boys the other day. The song “You Raise Me Up” by Selah was on the radio and my 14 year old asked me what the song meant, who raised you up. I told him that God is who they are talking about. That God gives us strenght to handle things we couldn’t handle on our own. Then I told them how one of the memeber of the group singing the song had just lost a baby and that God raised him and his wife up and is helping them through this tough time in their life. Thanks for being a good example and one that I could use for my kids. I also love the song you wrote and think it is very neat that you also included Elliot and others who have lost sons as well as daughters.

    In Christ,
    Denise

  • D

    Happy Belated Birthday!! I am also one that has never posted before. I check your blog often to see if there are any updates. I actually heard about it while listening to the Family Life Radio sharathon, right when Audrey was born. I just wanted to post that I used your story as an example to two of my boys the other day. The song “You Raise Me Up” by Selah was on the radio and my 14 year old asked me what the song meant, who raised you up. I told him that God is who they are talking about. That God gives us strenght to handle things we couldn’t handle on our own. Then I told them how one of the memeber of the group singing the song had just lost a baby and that God raised him and his wife up and is helping them through this tough time in their life. Thanks for being a good example and one that I could use for my kids. I also love the song you wrote and think it is very neat that you also included Elliot and others who have lost sons as well as daughters.

    In Christ,
    Denise

  • Kelley Wright, NC

    I don’t know why I have been so drawn to your blog, but I look for new posts almost every single day. My mother called me one day and asked me if I knew of a group named “Selah” and I wanted to say “DUH, of course”, but I kept it pleasant… I sing their songs in church when I am privileged to do so and I absolutely love the music and voices behind the ministry. She told me about you and about Audrey and I began to read… and read and read and read… trying my best to catch up. I’m still not completely caught up, but I made it through February or March (I’m losing track).

    I am so blessed by your words… I have no children, I am not married, I am a single 30 year old (almost 31) woman, youth worker, praise team singer, creative buzzard from North Carolina. There’s not a lot that you have written about that I can relate to… other than to think of how terribly much I love my little nephew & neice (20 mos & 3 mos). But something that hit me today… I was reading about how you are having a hard time putting words to your “salvation/conversion experience” as some tend to call it…and I realized… I have yet to do that. I think it is too precious to put into words. I think that I’m afraid of doing an injustice to my Father by not putting it in the right words or adequately describing it. I have attempted, several times to put it on paper… for missions trips, for assignments and just to see if I can write it… and for pity’s sake, I can’t put it into words.

    Maybe that’s why my witnessing technique is so unusual in that I share life experiences and how God has worked in my life instead of telling the “short/sweet conversion experience”… The term seems so trivial when the experience is so absolutely extraordinary and still a work in progress….

    I’m sorry, I’m babbling…
    Maybe I should introduce myself.
    My name is Kelley & I live in Rocky Mount, North Carolina… and I love you, in Christ. I only say that because I know you GET it. Not many people GET it. But you do. You are speaking my language… and that is so powerful to me.

    Please, keep writing. I enjoy it so.

  • Erin

    One more thing….I can’t wait to read your book! I have read so many books since lossing Jaxon, but I haven’t really connected with any of them. They all seem very “how-to” to me. They didn’t feel open, honest, or real. Clearly you have the ability to use words to connect with people in a beautiful way! I have received more clairity and peace from your blog than any book that I have purchased. However, I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to write a book from this prospective, but I know that by doing so you will touch, even change peoples lives for years to come!

    Thank you and I continue to pray for you!
    ~Erin (I left out my email address on my last message about the song – e.wood24@yahoo.com)

  • Darlene R.

    Happy Birthday, Angie! I am so happy that it was a good one for you.

    Even though we have already met, I would love to “meet” you again!

    So, until then…
    hugs and prayers! :)

  • Julie

    Angie,

    You are just beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

    Until we meet! :)

    Love ya Girl!
    Julie
    From Illinois

  • Laura

    Happy Belated, Birthday, Angie! I’m so glad it was a good one. I know “Carry You” will touch so many lives.

    Thank you for letting us get to know you more. I will be praying about the details of “Audrey’s book.”

    Love,
    Laura

  • Anonymous

    Happy Belated Birthday,
    I keep coming back to check on you and wonder how you could have anymore to say. I AM so glad that you do. It’s like I can’t read it fast enough. How can you have so many differnt emotions for somebody you have never met. Thinking and praying for you often in Michigan

    Lisa

  • Tina Vega

    Birthday blessings to you from MN!!!

  • The Hull Munchkins

    The way you and your family are living out your lives after the loss of your little one speaks volumes to my heart, and obviously hundreds of others!

    I just wanted to tell you that your honest sharing of your grief has brought comfort to me during our struggles with our daughter with special needs. Life is full of so much loss, and it hurts to the core.

    The way you lean on God for your strength and comfort inspires me to continue looking to Him as well.
    Thank you. Please keep sharing, and Lord bless your sweet heart during this difficult season.
    -Patty

  • pearlsandchocolate.com

    Happy belated Birthday! Great blog!

  • Bevy

    Can’t wait to meet you TOO! Have you spoken to Focus on the Family about this too? :) They have a publishing house and the radio program. :) Just a thot.
    God bless! Look forward to seeing what you’ve written.

  • pakosta

    Happy belated birthday!
    I am glad your day sounded wonderfuL!
    I am just getting to “know” you through your blog and you seem like such an amazing person!
    i HOpe we do get a chance to meet one day…..
    tara

  • Corie

    Always love your posts. Can’t wait to hear your story about meeting your husband and just how God works. I met my husband as an unbeliever and Praise God that He used my husband as a vessel to bring me to Himself. It reminds me that everyone has a chance to be used by God and give the gospel of Jesus. I am often reminded of Gods goodness to have shown me hope in Christ 10 years ago, never knowing that I would need that very hope while releasing my son to Him after only 23 hours of life. You are faithful to be sharing so much about your life and what God is doing. I would love to meet some day.

  • Robert and Kelli

    I can’t wait to meet you either! I’ve been reading your blog and praying for you and your family. Happy birthday!

  • Meet the DuRoss’s:

    Angie, thank you for sharing your life with us! I typically am reading your blog at the end of a long day w/ kiddos, and my husband comes home to see me crying ~ not over the kiddos, but your words! I have been lifting you up through it all and feel honored to know your Audrey and Elliot through this blog. I have to tell you that we saw Todd about 10 years ago at a concert in Chesterland, OH ~ my husband and I are blown away by their ministry and loved the name so much that 3 years ago we named our first child (little girl) Selah! God is good and I feel blest beyond words to be a part of your family and lifting you up to our Father. I too see your gift at writing and must say, I would love at some point for you to do the original book as well on parenting! I laugh at your stories w/ the girls and would love any tips you have along the way! Can’t wait to MEET YOU ~ someday!

    Much Love,

    Hope ~ Chagrin Falls, OH

  • Anonymous

    Hi Angie!
    Your blog has been such an encouragement to me. I am an alomst20 year old sophmore at John Brown University. My 25 year old brother died the same day your Audrey did. He had battled cancer since last August, 10 days before I left for my first semester away at college. I have a few friends who have lost siblings or parents in the past, and I know that losing a child is not the same as a brother, but is nice to read something from someone who is going through it now, not 3 years ago. Thanks for sharing your story and Audrey with me and everyone else. You are a huge blessing. I’ll be praying for you and your family. I hope you have a wonderful week.
    Amy
    WoolardA@jbu.edu

  • Anonymous

    Sending post-birthday well-wishes and prayers. Glad to here it went great. If it’s any consolation, I’ve had times where people seem to think I’m real spiritual and I think “If only they saw everything inside” But God does and he loves us the same. From reading your blog, I know God has enabled you to write well. And remember, even if we don’t cross paths on earth, we will be together in heaven. It will be great to meet you
    -Anna

  • La Reina

    Beautiful and eloquent, as usual.

    You are an amazing inspiration to me. You have helped me enormously.

    Happy Belated Birthday!

  • Meag

    I can’t wait to hear more about you and your amazing story! And I hope I do meet you or run into you one day! I live in Murfreesboro… maybe when I am out the Franklin way sometimes I’ll bump into you! Until then, you can bet that I will be here… reading your blog and lifting you and your family up in prayer! I am so thankful that you share…you have truly touched my life and added new perspective!

  • Alicia

    You are such a strong woman, and I truly admire you for your strength. I just finished reading Audrey’s story, I simply cannot stop crying. Crying for you, crying for me, crying for everyone out there that has lost a little one. Her story was definitely heard, and I am glad that I got to “know” her through your wonderful blog.

  • Sheryl

    Whoa! Am I doing the math right? You have known Jesus for less than 8 years?? Well HE obviously had/has a big plan for you. I am amazed at the depth of your relationship with God and how you are utterly convinced of His love for you! I’ve known Jesus since I was a young child and I am just now learning to believe how much He really loves me.

    Two things…I can’t wait to read your book and I can’t wait to meet you.

    Still praying,
    Sheryl

  • movingthroughlife

    Well…Happy Birthday. How did I not know this. Lousy Friend I am!! We celebrate only a week apart.

    Next year, I will honor thy birthday early to make up for it.

  • Vera

    Happy Birthday, sweet Angie! You may have no idea who I am, but I sure feel like I’ve already met you :)

  • Sara

    I found your blog just yesterday through another blog site. I have sat glued to my screen devouring every post and crying and feeling the tender emotions and expressions of a mother. I have two beautiful and healthy boys and I thank God for them. I have been touched by your inner strength and peaceful spirit thank you for sharing your story and your testimony with all of us.
    Thank You
    Sara
    Richland, WA

  • Salzwedel Family

    I can’t wait to meet you too! Your faith has been very inspirational to me at a time when I have needed my faith encouraged. See you when you get to Wisconsin. :o )

    Stephanie

  • asplashofsunshine

    HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY! So wonderful to hear that you had such a great day. YOU DESERVE EVERY SECOND OF IT AND MORE! I wanted to thank you for something that you may think is a bit silly… I love seeing your smile when I visit the blog. I am sure the smile is not there all day every day, but you certainly bring sunshine across the world showing your smile.

  • Ruthanne

    Angie–I’m laughing because tonight my mom was asking me about the route that I take to get from where I live (in Chicago) to where my brother lives (in Georgia). I was telling her the major cities that I drive through and when I said “Nashville” I thought to myself (I’m going to stop there someday and meet Angie). It was such a fleeting thought and I wondered why it had come to me. I don’t even know you!! (but I feel like I know you a little bit.) Now, maybe I know why I thought that. Maybe I really will meet you someday. :) I’d love to give you a huge hug in person.

  • Francine

    Yet again I read your blog and I am brought to tears. I am so amazed by your humbleness and love for GOd. I look forward to the day we meet in Atlanta,GA or Florida because I am in both places ALL the time so I can tell you in person what a amazing and awesome person you are and although we havent met yet I consider you a kindred spirit. Happy Birthday by the way!! So many people in GA that know me know all about you that I just refer to you as “my friend” because I truly feel that way. So susan till we meet May God continue to bless you and may you always continue to share because you are touching lives in ways that are I am sure are far beyond your wildest dreams. God bless you sweetie..
    Hugs,Francine

  • Angela

    Angie,
    You are so precious!! Praise GOD for the heart he had given you to bless so many others. I love reading your blog and can’t wait to hear how Jesus swept you off your feet. I didn’t know HIM for most of my life either, and could never have imagined how sweet HE could be to after all HE knew of me. Thanks for your transparency! Love ya!

  • rachey05

    I just wanted to let you know that I have been following your story, mostly catching up on it since mid-April. I am a nursing student, and the way you write about how God is in the center of everything is really uplifting to me. I had kind of forgotten this past semester why I wanted to be a nurse, and reading everything helped refocus that I want to be a nurse because God wants to use me to help families. Thank you for sharing you story with the world!!!

  • Andrea

    Happy belated b-day! When I meet you, I’ll even buy you dinner and a cake to celebrate. We’ll chat, and laugh and cry, but mostly laugh and just do what girls do…when we meet!!

  • karin

    you are gifted in so many ways. I am so grateful I was guided to your blog. I hope we will meet some day. :)

    Happy Belated Birthday!

  • Kellie

    WOW! What a FABULOUS Birthday! I just posted a new journal update in my sons web page. I too am planning to do something in Tribute to him on his birthday annually! :) All donations will be going to CaringBridge.org Lord knows how much it helped me through his journey :) I cannot WAIT to hear “Elliots” song :) Wish I could have had it at my Jakes service. But that was just 2 weeks ago. Instead I will look forward to it coming out on CD in Spring! That’s when Jake was born :) God has perfect timing doesnt he :)

  • Little Amy

    Your writing is so captivating. I live on the other side of the world, but it feels like you’re talking only to me. I don’t have children or a husband, but your love and pain speaks straight to my heart. I am not religious, but your faith inspires me to think and hope and believe. Through Audrey’s story, your words have touched me in profound ways. I just wanted to let you know. :)

  • Anonymous

    Just a quick thank you for recording a “boy” version! I love the song, and it will be even more perfect when it fits my son. Abounding love to you and yours – can’t wait to hear from you again!

    Sara, Kentucky

  • Anonymous

    Angie, First I must say THANK YOU for sharing your story and the story of Audrey. Everytime I check your blog I am brought to tears and feel Gods love pouring out for us. HE is truly our Rock and our comforter. My neice Lydia passed away on Dec 15,2006 at the age of two months. I have been blessed by reading your story and remembering and mourning my neice again. Thank you for all the encouraging words you write. I can’t wait for the day to pick up your book at our local Christian book store and the new CD coming out, I will definatley buy a copy for my brother and sister in law. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Oh and we will meet someday, I am confident of that, either here in the earthly relm or in the most glorious place, Heaven!!

    Andrea
    Hartville, Ohio

  • Anonymous

    Angie, I have been reading for a while but have never posted a comment. I have been through something similar. Although I did not carry my John Patrick in my tummy, I carried him in my heart. We adopted him in May 2006 and we lost him back to his birth father in May 2006. That was the hardest and darkest time in our lives! I have to trust that he is taken care of today and everyday! However God has continued to bless us! Reading your blog has been more of an encouragement then you will ever know!

    You don’t know how much I would LOVE to meet you…until then!

    Rebecca, South Carolina

  • crispy

    Angie, like I said before, we share a birthday. So I was thinking of you on Monday.

    And, when we meet (I just know that we will), it will be a uniting of souls which are heaven bound.

    -Cris

  • Nicole

    Happy belated birthday, Angie. Shame on me for being so late with it. I have every intention of meeting you one of these days. Your story is amazing and raw and real. I pray for you, Todd and the girls every single day. We WILL meet one day.

  • Michael and Shelly Ryan

    Angie, It is so amazing how your love for your family, God and even complete strangers radiates in your writings. You are a true insiration to me and so many others. You are so open about your life that I feel I have known you my entire life. Even though we have yet to meet I hope we some day will. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!!

  • Anonymous

    I just wanted you to know how much your blog has meant to me. I lost my beautiful 31 year old daughter on May 4th, 2008, after a seven year battle with breast cancer. Although our circumstances are very different, the result was the same; the loss of our children. You have helped me beyond words with your beautiful faith. I have been so angry at God, and felt so guilty because of this. Reading your blog has helped me so much in my own grief. Thank you for sharing Audrey’s story with us, may God richly bless you and your family.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,

    Words can’t even describe how much your blog has meant to me over the last 2+ months when I first read your story. I am moved beyond words at your openness with God, your openness with your emotions at a time so delicate as a child’s death. A time when most people would close their door to friends, tell the kids to go play on their own, or even to tell God to let them be alone in their sorrow. When I lost my son a little over 3 years ago, the first 2 are exactly what I did. I didn’t close my door to God, but He sure got an earful those first few weeks. It was all I could do to function for myself, let alone function for a church community, or for family and friends. I could harly be strong enough for me, let alone anyone else.

    Today I watched the videos done by Cross Point Church, and again, words can’t describe how incredibly proud I am of you and your family, and I’ve only “known” you for 2 months. Your strength, the strength God has given you–your testimony to all of us mother’s who have lost children, or have their own struggles–is unbelieveable. You write out your pain in such a way, it helps us walk through our own.

    I have such a hurt for those women out there who lose a child, and don’t know God, it makes me cry. Women who go through similar cirumstances, yet don’t know God’s grace, His mercy, His love, and His way of healing breaks my heart. I wonder how many women leave the hospital with a box full of memories that they have gathered over a few short hours, yet don’t know who to turn to for strength-I bet there’s thousands of them in just a months’ time.

    This is getting long, so I will close. Write that book that God has placed recently on your heart. If it is written as wonderful, as Godly as your blog has been, then the readers will surely be blessed.

    God bless you an your family Angie. You are in our prayers and thoughts many times throughout the day. The Lord give, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21

    Amanda

    From Indiana

  • jenepo74

    Angie,
    I have been reading your blog faithfully since April. I love your writing. I think of your family daily and pray for healing. I can only imagine how difficult life has been for you all lately, but you being able to share it helps so many people in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. Happy Belated Birthday!

    Jen from Cartersville, GA

  • Cynthia

    Happy Belated Birthday!
    I go to your blog daily waiting to hear something new from you, you have blessed so many. I was up very early this morning and feeling very grumpy over such a little thing when my best friend called with the news of little Maria. Suddenly my gripes were so very small and all my thoughts were about the Chapmans.I know we as Christians we only have promise of today and every second of it should be cherised. Thank you for sharing with all of us your story and I too hope to meet you someday. I already feel like I’ve known you forever.

  • Jenifer

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We have many dates in common. My dad’s birthday is January 7th. It is also the day my husband and I were married 9 years ago.

    Also, my birthday is May 21st so just 2 days apart from yours. It makes me wonder if there are any other dates that we have in common. It’s funny because I have been following your story and I think of you a lot. I feel like I know you even though I don’t. I would love to meet you some day.

    jeniferwinger@cox.net is my e-mail if you ever want to say hello.

  • Christy

    HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! YOUR ARE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON. I STUMBLED UPON YOUR BLOG WHILE I WAS ON SOMEONE ELSES. YOU JUST AMAZE ME YOUR SUCH A STRONG WOMAN. =)

  • Jenni Saake

    If I can be of any help with your book, especially when it comes time to needing promoters, please keep me in mind.

    Jenni Saake
    author, Hannah’s Hope: Seeking God’s Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss
    http://www.HannahsHopeBook.com

  • Becca

    Happy Belated Birthday and thank you for sharing parts of your life story. I look forward to hearing how He came into your life.

    Peace and Hugs,
    Becca

  • OP SuZ Q

    You are sooooooooo adorable!! :)

  • Stacy

    Angie~
    As I have said before…just when I think “I am not going to cry at Angie’s blog today”…wham! I am in tears again! But as the months have passed those tears have turned from those of pain and sorrow to those of joy and hope.

    In fact just as I started to type this comment the FedEx man showed up at my door. The package he was delivering was quite large and he offered to set it inside the door for me. It was then that he noticed that I was crying & he asked if I was okay.
    My response “I’m great! I was just reminded (I motioned to my laptop sitting 3 feet awaY) how God continually works in my life & how he loves us all.” He gave me a quirky look & he said “Have you been talking to me wife? Cuz she is always telling me how much God loves me.” then he smiled & walked away.

    Anyway…thank you again for blessing me with you story :

    Until we meet sweet sister………….

  • happe2beme

    happy birthday…you touch my heart and i can feel god coming right through you to me…thank you for inspiring me to be more through god…much love to you and yours..janet

  • Angie

    Checking in from Adrian, MN. Happy Belated Birthday. Glad to hear that you had a great day. Praying for you and your family every day. I check the blog daily and can’t wait to hear from you. I love the thought of meeting you someday. A person really never knows, God had the bigger plan and everything happens for a reason.

    “God did not promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow or sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way. Angie

  • Carrie

    Happy belated birthday, Angie!

    Thank you for being so open and transparent with us – you are so honest and real, and I think that is why you inspire so many of us.

    HUGS

  • mamachristina

    Happy belated birthday!

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    You are the most amazing woman I have ever (not yet) met!

    I have so many things I could say that my heart is overflowing but my brain can work hard enough and my fingers can’t type fast enough to get it all out.

    I pray that if I don’t ever meet you here on Earth, that the Lord will allow me to meet you in Heaven…

    What an amazing story!.. God is using you in the most mightly profound way… Just think of the thousands, hundreds of thousands of people that you are touching through this life experience…

    My friends and I pray for you daily and also keep each other alerted whenever you have a new post. ;)

    We are praying for you and lifting you to our loving Father every day!

    Please pray for us in blog-land as well. Many of us cling to your story as a means of comfort in our own anguish and heart breaks…

    My husband and I have been through many things… Our most recent struggle has been the struggle to have kids. We’ve been trying to two years, but nothing yet… I often “worry” about what God’s plan is for us and will we have a healthy, happy baby?…

    You will never know how your story has prepared me for the plan that God will lay out in front of me one day. I as have watched each day reveal something new in your life, I have seen how you have taken every high and low and dedicated yourself to ministering to the world as to how God is using you through these experiences.

    Your love for Christ and your gift for writing has truly changed my life forever…

    Thank you for writing what you have written. If our paths ever crossed (come to Athens, Georgia much?) then I will greet you with a huge hug!

    God bless! I look forward to supporting your family by purchasing all the Selah CD’s that I can, and by purchasing any books or materials that you one day publish!

    In Christ,
    BlessedBeyondWords
    Bethlehem, Ga.

    P.S. I work with a wonderful Christian lady who had a baby in her forties and named her Selah, after your husband’s band! The name has great meaning. Maybe you can share why your husband’s group chose that name one day… Thanks!

  • The Van Fam

    Angie,

    I have spent the last couple of hours reading through your blog. I am all caught up and want to tell you how incredibly special you are. What an amazing mommy you are and what a testimony of His NEVER ending love. I look forward in reading your entries and will remember you and your family in prayer!

    Blessings,
    Stephanie

  • Anonymous

    I first heard about your story on Celebrity Baby Blog, when Audrey’s video was posted. You’ve touched my life and I thank you for it…you’ve reminded me of my beautiful niece, Rebecca Katherine, who was still-born. And you’ve reminded me to hug her sisters, Madison Marie and Alexis Park every chance I get. I’ve also been introduced to a band I had never heard of…I’m looking forward to meeting you all some day…
    ~Abigail Newhall
    ladybookwyrm@yahoo.com

  • Anonymous

    I’v been out of town and my husbands only request was no computer and no phones …it been interesting but any ways the first thing I did was to check you blog …so Happy Beleded Birthday …I feel like you ,that one glorius day we all will meet …I can’t wait to hug you ..till then still praying for you and your family …
    Your sister in Christ ..
    Damarys

  • Jen

    Hey, we share a birthday! I just found your blog through Boomama, and I have to tell you that the pitcher smashing post just blessed my socks off. Thanks for your authenticity. I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy this blog! :)

  • iheartchocolate

    Happy B Day! I have been away and missed some posts. I am so sad to hear about Luke, so sorry.

    This post was beautiful and I look forward to reading the story.

    So amazing that you met someone who reads you!

  • Dan Barnett.

    Angie, thankyou for humbling me in my lack of faith. The stories on your site are amazing testaments of God lifting you up when you are weak. I’m so sorry to read of the pain you and the family have been through and continue to experience. I read through Audrey’s story, and when you talk of Todd singing “It is well” I thought of how he sound when he sings that. I saw Selah at Moody Church in Chicago, and when he sg that song the room hushed. It is by far my favorite song of his, and what a blessing for him to testify to God’s control and love each time he sings that song. Thank you.

  • Katy Lin :)

    i’m just getting caught up, but i can’t wait to meet you either :) *hugs*