The Past and The Pitcher


In one of my books on grieving the loss of a child, the author suggests smashing a piece of pottery as a form of therapy.

I thought this was one of the dumbest things I had ever heard.
I was on my way to pick up Todd at the airport while we were at the beach, and on the way there, I was listening to my David Crowder CD and talking to God (these two always go hand in hand). I try not to dwell on the past any more than I need to, because there are hurts that aren’t totally healed.  It was a sunny day and I was alone with my music, so I guess it was as good a time as any to remember.  As it turns out, I’m glad I did.  
Before I get to all that, let me start with my first image of Jesus.  
At my grandparent’s condo, there was an image of the Lord that hung by the fold-out couch that my sister and I used to sleep on in the guest room.  It was surrounded by photographs of my dead Italian family, mostly women who a)looked like they should have slowed down on the lasagna servings and b)decided collectively that whenever a camera was around, they would pretend they were really angry and stare at the lens.  Right there, on the wall of Sicilian terror, hung the face of Christ.
It was one of those “watch you wherever you go” faces, and I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel like He was staring at me.  I actually devised an elaborate system that involved my sister and me taking shifts, so that neither of us would be caught unaware in the event that He or any of the dead ladies decided to make a midnight visit. 
Let’s just say it wasn’t a great first impression.
Years later, 2 events occurred that shaped my life dramatically.  The first was during graduate school.  My dad called me one day and told me that he had been diagnosed with cancer.  They were going to do further testing, but things didn’t look good.  I remember the words “3 months” being tossed around.  I am a daddy’s girl in every sense of the word.  Although I had no background with the church, or with the Lord, I decided to do something crazy.
I made a bet with God.
It went something like this.  You heal him, and I will find out about you.  
It sounds kind of crazy, but I was desperate.  The closest thing to prayer I had up to that point was asking God in the fifth grade to make my bowl haircut grow out while I slept.  He failed me.  I have pictures to prove it.
On Christmas Eve, we got a phone call from the doctor.  The tests had come back.
They couldn’t find the cancer.
When I got back to Nashville (I went to Vanderbilt for grad school), I called the local Catholic Church and asked them how to learn about God.  It turned out they had classes for this kind of thing, and they were about to start (go figure). I went to classes for a year and got to know God a little better.  I decided that I needed to get rid of my boyfriend, who I had dated for almost 6 years.  He was abusive in every sense of the word, and there are a lot of deep wounds I still carry with me from that time period.  It was completely unhealthy, and one of those times I look back on and wish I could change.  It hurts because even though I didn’t have a relationship with God at the time, I feel like I was unfaithful to Him.  
Fast-forward a few years.  I was driving home from work and talking to Audra on the phone.  A woman was not paying attention and pulled out right in front of me.  I slammed on my brakes but not fast enough to prevent my car from hitting her and rolling over.  I remember the sound of glass breaking and a scream (I guess it was mine).  I climbed through the window of my Grand Cherokee and cut my shoulder on the way out.  It was the only injury I sustained. 
I noticed that the police officers who came to the scene of the accident were taking pictures of my car, now upside-down in a pool of glass.  I asked them why, and they told me that based on the way the car had rolled, coupled with the fact that I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt, I should have been under the front wheel of the car.  I didn’t understand why that was interesting enough to photograph until I looked at the car.  There was only one item that had come out of the car as I flipped, and it was now pinned under the front wheel.  It was the rosary that I had been given by the Church when I finished my classes, and it was covered in my blood.  Not a single bead was broken.  I knew in that moment what many people are blessed enough to learn early in life.
He died for me.
I went to the chapel with Audra later that night (after she came flying to the hospital with wet hair because she had heard the wreck happen on the phone) and we cried together at His mercy.  The door started to open for a relationship with Christ, but I didn’t fully let Him in.  I met Todd the weekend of October 15th, 2000.  I had gone to visit the jerk the weekend before, and my new Christian friends were trying to get me to go to church.  They invited me on this retreat thing, and to be honest I thought that pulling my arm-hair out sounded like more fun, but I was desperate.
The theme of the retreat was “Grace.”  I walked by a room where Todd was rehearsing and I saw him.  He loves this story because I basically fell head-over-heels for him instantly.  I have the journal entry from that day, and this is what I wrote:
“Lord, I know I’m not good enough for him.  But could you just let me have someone like him?”
Almost 8 years and 5 kids later, I am a better person because God let me have him.
So, back to the pottery and the drive to the airport.  If you are still with me, I promise there is a point I am trying to get to…
As I was driving, God spoke to me clearly, and He asked me to do something odd.  I started thinking about this pitcher that I have in my house, and as soon as it came to mind, He told me to smash it.  I thought about the book that said to break pottery and I kind of shrugged it off, but I really felt like that’s what He wanted me to do.
Thank God my neighbors know me well enough to not call the police when I throw a perfectly good pitcher onto my front porch at ten o’clock at night.  I watched it shatter, and I must apologize to the author of that book.  It felt great.
I waited for a few moments, taking it in.  What next? I asked.
Again, He was very clear.
Put it back together again.

What I wanted to do was go to bed, but I felt like He was meaning now, so I gathered all the pieces together and brought them in the house.  I told Todd what was going on, and he took a look at the tiny shards of porcelain, knowing it was going to be a long night.  I went and got the hot glue gun and sat down in the kitchen.  It was hard to know where to start, but I found the lip and the handle relatively intact, and just kind of made it up as I went.  I talked to the Lord while my fingers worked, and He stayed near to me.  I would love to tell you that it was like a movie where it’s all sweet and perfect, but the truth is that I glued my finger to it at one point and cut myself bloody several times.  I thought about swear words that I wanted to say.  
But, still I kept at it.
And as I worked, He let me think about my past.  Mistakes that I have long regretted.  I began to realize that this pitcher was my life, and every piece was part of story that He had chosen to put together.  I started crying, and remembering things I thought I had forgotten.  It took a long time to finish, but it was time well spent.  Every nook and cranny whispered to me, until at last it stood in all its imperfection.  
Here you are, Angie.
You are mended.  You are filled with my Spirit,  and I am asking you to pour yourself out.

The image of my life as a broken pitcher was beautiful to me, but at the same time, it was hard to look at all of the cracks.
I ran my fingers along them and told Him I wish it had been different. How I wished I had always loved Him, always obeyed Him, always sought Him the way I should.  I was mad at the imperfections, years wasted, gaping holes where it should be smooth.
But God, my ever-gracious God, was gentle and yet convicting as He explained.
My dearest Angie.  How do you think the world has seen me?  If it wasn’t for the cracks, I couldn’t seep out the way I do. I chose the pitcher. I chose you,  just as you are.
At the risk of sounding like a nutcase, I am going to make a suggestion.
Find a piece of pottery, and let it shatter at your feet.  
Take the time to be with the Lord as you piece it together again (but beware the wrath of the glue gun…).  Let Him tell you who you are, and let yourself be reminded of the grace that seals us all.  You may not know Him at all, or you may be a “flannel-board Jesus” kid.  It makes no difference.  I am praying as I type these words that He will come to you and remind you that He loves the gaps because there is the potential for more of Himself revealed in you.  Let him help you smash and rebuild his most coveted posession…you.

Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message”  So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel.  But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him…Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand…Jeremiah 18:2-6

Angie
p.s. if you do this, I want you to send me pictures of your “new art!”  

p.p.s.  My pitcher now sits in the middle of my kitchen table, constantly displaying the work of God for all who come to my home:)  Thank you for the mending, Lord.  I love You.

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  • Lori

    Thank you so much for your honesty and for your heart. All that is good in my life is because of our precious Lord picking up the broken pieces and putting them back together. It doesn’t look perfect, but that’s exactly how He designed it to be when he pieced me back together. It is through my brokeness that God has been able to use me best. The light of Jesus and His love now shines through all of my cracks!! Thank you for allowing His light to shine through you! You will never know what an impact your story has made on people until you get to heaven and Jesus shows you. In the mean time, thank you for your beautiful obedience! You and your family are loved and prayed for!

    Because of Jesus,
    Lori Gellerson
    Everett, WA

  • whocanfind?

    Angie, I love this. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for not allowing your cracks to distract you from what God is giving you, what God is giving us through you. It is such a blessing to read your blog, your story. I guess I need to be breaking some pottery soon…
    Andrea Wandell
    Nashville, TN

  • Alli Miles

    Blogger Alli Miles said…

    Angie! Can you even begin to understand all that you do for people? For me? Your ministry is amazing….your testimony filled with “pieces” where God is shining through. Your posts make me cry, they fill me with hope and with His spirit. Thank you…thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are making a difference EVERY day. God bless you Angie.

  • Anonymous

    Oh Angie! I have been following your story and sharing it with anyone I can because it is so uplifting. This is my first note. In some of my times of agony, I cried over a Linda Ronstadt song “Shattered”
    written by Jimmy Webb
    © 1981 White Oak Songs (ASCAP)

    Shattered
    Like a windowpane
    Broken by a storm
    Each tiny piece of me lies alone

    And scattered
    Far beyond repair
    All my shiny dreams
    Just lying there

    I’m broken but I’m laughing
    It’s the sound of falling glass
    I hope that you won’t mind if I should cry in public
    While I wait for this to pass

    Cause sweet darling I’m shattered
    Into fragments cold and gray
    Sweep the pieces all away
    Then no one will ever know how much it mattered
    Something deep inside of me
    Shattered

    As I healed, I began to see the truth: I am not a brittle inanimate object. I am alive and I can heal. Angie, you have, as usual,found a wonderful image to meld these ideas. Let’s see if I have the courage to willingly smash something and attempt to put it back together as the Lord whispers healing. You are growing, dear girl! Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! I’ve been loving you from Lake Forest Park, WA. I prayed throughout last night for you and the Chapmans and will keep you close tonight. Love in Jesus, Michal Ann

  • sumi

    Oh Angie, thank you for sharing this.

    I don’t need to smash anything, my sweet teenaged son managed to smash not one but two of my handpainted ceramic bowls that I had painted when Jenna was still alive. I had to apologise for overreacting afterwards…but I had just lost my precious little girl and to lose ANYTHING, no matter how little, that had anything to do with her (even indirectly) was upsetting.

    I have saved the pieces, but didn’t have the heart to try to put them together again until now.

    I will be putting a bowl together tomorrow after the boys are asleep. :-)

  • Joy

    Thank you for sharing that… I truly needed this right now!

  • Jen

    When my parents separated when I was 15, I used to smash my mother’s cider bottles against the side of the house. Full on hurled them at the wall. I found it very theraputic. I can’t ever remember sweeping it up though… mum must have. I wonder what she thought?

    Another beautiful post, Angie. I wonder if I have the guts to do it though? Sometimes, the hurt and the nasties are such a comfort, because it’s what we know… but there’s a burr hiding in the comfort, making you not quite snug. And it makes you jump every now and then when you get stuck. Having them brought to the surface in such a visible way… ouch. I’ve been dealing with some things, working them out with God and lots and lots of praying, forgiving and releasing… don’t know if I want the reminder of it though!

    Thanks Angie, for your heart, and being so open and transparent to your struggles. So beautiful.

  • April

    we are all perfectly imperfect. thank you for remembering and reminding me to embrace my own imperfection. i will be sending you photos when the time is right. i promise. thank you angie.

  • Jack Hager

    Wow. My wife and I have been following for so long; and I’ve often remarked I feel I should take off my shoes while I’m reading…
    And this is another example of holy, sanctified “stuff.”
    Thanks for being so genuine, so transparent, and so “real.”

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Grin & Barrett

    Angie,

    That is a beautiful pitcher. Just perfect. Your love of our Lord is so wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us. You have touch my life.

  • Tracey

    Why do I think that pitcher looks more beautiful now than it did before it was smashed into a million pieces?

    He makes ALL THINGS beautiful. ALL THINGS. Truly, He is all we need. He makes all things WHOLE and beautiful.

    Thank you for this.

  • Matthews Family

    I have been reading your blog for a little while, and I must say I always feel uplifted after reading an entry. I love how you are able to see the hand of God in everyday things. You have inspired me to push myself to grow closer to Him. Thank you for sharing your story and your amazing faith in the Lord.
    Rachel Matthews

  • Heather

    Oh my goodness. This is one of the most beautiful things I have read … ever! I sit here typing through tears that came flooding out when I saw your pitcher “put back together”.

    What a true blessing you have been in my life, though we have never met. God is using you, Angie.

    Wow. I have a strong sense from the Lord that I’ve got to go and find some pottery and do this tonight. Thank you for sharing … I am moved … I will definitely send you the pictures.

    Thanks, again, for your transparency!

    ~Heather :)

  • Randi Jo :)

    Wow!!! That was so so so powerful! We ALL ARE that broken pottery in the potter’s hand if we ask to be. What a great post! Thank you so much! :) God bless you

  • Mrs. Elle

    This is one of the best stories of healing that I’ve ever heard that I can absolutely relate to. Almost two years ago I experienced a life-changing tragedy myself. In the time that I worked to recover from it, I got the message from God that I should build a dollhouse from the ground up. I got myself a pretty elaborate kit of one that is a beautiful Victorian city townhouse (http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2970814) called the Lily Dollhouse.

    It was crazy because it was the exact kind of house that I would love to live in myself in downtown DC AND the fact that it was called the Lily was special as an individual named Lily was the catalyst for a lot of the change that I was experiencing.

    I literally built the house from the ground up just as I was directed by God. There were times when it was so tedious and time consuming because I had to hold those tiny parts and pieces in just the right way for glue to dry but in those times, I was the most at peace with myself.

    Amazingly (but not suprisingly) God completely changed and evolved my life and though I’m not totally finished with the construction of the house – I’m nine months and some days pregnant currently with my first child (a girl!) – I’m looking forward to finishing it and one day giving it to my beautiful little girl as a symbol for what God gave and did for me.

  • Anonymous

    I just read the comment Mrs. Elle wrote and it reminded me of a quote in Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis that ties to all you so beautifully wrote…
    “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting drains right and stopping leaks in the roof and so on: you knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of–throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

  • Kathi

    Wow! That is an incredible story. God is using you, with all of your cracks, in incredible ways.

    You HAVE to write a book.

  • Jessica

    wow.. good stuff… thanks for sharing.
    what is the book? i think i need to read it.

  • Sun

    Wow – so powerful. You touched on something that is SUCH a struggle in my life – learning to let go of the desire that it could of – I could have – been different. I am going to do this – I hope you don’t mind but I am linking my blog to this post. I am praying for you and your family – and praising God for the gift of you – you are SUCH a blessing! Sunshine

  • Michelle

    the whole time I was reading I wanted to see the pitcher put back together and I wanted to know if you displayed it and as usual you came through for me…ha! thanks for reminding us all that we all sin, we all have a past and we can all seek God to help us heal…this is why on my blog roll it says “Angie My New Hero”

  • Our Family of Four

    Beautiful

  • happy gram

    the cracked pitcher is so much more beautiful than the perfect one – it expresses so much more character and depth than the smooth, original version. thank you for this beautiful picture of what God wants of us and how He wants to use us! jan

  • Fun With Five

    Absolutely beautiful.
    I hope you don’t mind if I link to it on my blog.
    Thank you for sharing your heart and life.

  • Rebekah :)

    God truly is amazing, and you are too for allowing Him to teach you something so important, for being obedient, humble, and teachable, and for sharing it with others.

    Thank you!

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful illustration. Beatiful LORD…

    Renee

  • Bird’s Words

    I am the mother of one beautiful son here on earth and 4 babies, never held in my arms, in Heaven. After the 4th, I went to the local flea market and bought all of the pottery and glassware I could fit into a box, brought it home, and began smashing it against the garage wall. The sound of the shattering brought healing to my heart, as God whispered to me “I have shattered time and space to hold you now, Holly. Let me put you together again”. And He has…
    I pray for your continued healing and for more and more of these moments with the living God.

  • Jeanette

    Angie,
    I only found your blog yesterday and I read all of your posts! I went to bed last night with puffy eyes from all the tears I cried! You are such a great writer in the fact that you share a totally honest picture of yourself and your emotions.

    I have been a Christian since the age of 4. I am ashamed to say that I have failed my Lord having KNOWN Him!! I often find myself being overcome with guilt at the fact that I gave into my flesh so often thru my life! I look back and think, how could I have done that knowing what He did for me!?! I have also felt that I dare not share my pain with anyone because what would thay think or what would they say!? I can just picture these looks of “I can’t believe you” staring back at me! You showed me today that, even though I was a christian when I made mistakes, He still loved me thru those times and He was there, urging me to repent and come back to Him! I think sometimes we let others make us feel that He can get so ashamed of us that His love for us shifts, when the truth is, He never stops loving us!! I know he is just and we have to suffer for our wrongdoings, but He is still there with his arms stretch out, ready to embrace us and help us pick up our broken pieces!! thank you so much for sharing you story!! You could never even begin to know what it has meant to me!! I will continue to follow you and your story! I will also hold you up in prayers – always! You have become a beautiful piece of my heart!!
    Jeanette

  • Sophie’s Mom

    What a beautiful pitcher. Even more beautiful than before.

  • Anonymous

    I am SO doing this…..I’ll post back when I have completed my task. (Memo: We have family in town and to avoid a trip to the “asylum,” I will wait until Tuesday to complete this task.)

    Very tempting to start it now, but I will wait.

    Thank you over and over again, for your example and your transparency.

    I love ALL of you,
    Becky Cain

    beckycain6@comcast.net

  • brandiandboys

    Once again you’ve left me inspired and encouraged. Thank you for the time you take to share your life with us. I love your illustration of the pitcher and the fact it now sits on your kitchen table.

  • the myers’

    Praise God that you are ‘pouring yourself out’!! We forget how much He does love us…thanks for helping me remember!! I, too, was in a horrible, horrible relationship. I always remember thinking ‘this is what I deserve. I’m not good enough’. Praise be to God that we (finally) ended things. Now I have the most amazing husband and son, truly gifts from God !!
    Thanks for your words…..
    Amber Myers
    Santa Fe(no, seriously..it’s here),TN

  • Corey Re’

    I am sitting here in tears (and about to go look for a dish I can part with since I don’t have many). I can’t tell you how much your post spoke to my heart.

    My life has been broken, and in some parts SHATTERED beyond what i thought could be repaired. I am a survivor of many things physically and emotionally (including rape). I have made mistakes beyond what most people know (including getting married outside of the will of the Lord)…and conceiving a child out of wedlock.

    But since REcommiting my life to Jesus, I have watched him slowly piece things together, for HIS glory, and so that HE shines through. May my life lead others to Him, and may I ALWAYS remember the broken pieces HE has restored.

    Thank you SO much for opening your heart.

  • Kelly

    This is the BEST thing I have ever read. Absolutely the BEST!
    Thank you for sharing! I love you story. I love that God has created such an amazing vessel through the broken pieces of your life. We are all like that in one form or another.
    I see Jesus seeping all through your cracks! :-)
    P.S. I laughed so hard about the pictures of the Italian women. Hilarious!
    P.P.S. Why does David Crowder music always bring me a little closer to Jesus? That’s what I listen to when I need to be near Him also. :-) I’ve just about worn my ipod out on his songs this year.

  • kris

    Since I was about 15, any time pain would become unbearable, my instinct was always to shatter something made of glass or porcelain. After the divorce, the loss of my daughter (canceled adoption), and my mother, I thought about it, even talked to my therapist about it (who was in complete support of the idea), but I never had the courage.

    I always worried I’d feel worse after, and what would I do with all those broken pieces.

    Now I know.

    I have always said God is Michelangelo- seeing the “real” inside of us, as Michelangelo did staring at that hunk of stone before the chiseling began and David emerged. And all that chiseling HURTS and saying yes to it takes so much patience and bravery.

    But breaking something I always feared would end in me feeling worse before I began.

    Who knew.

    Thank you.

  • Corie

    I have heard this same thing and have been contemplating it for weeks. I really am going to try it know. Not sure my neighbors will be as understanding! Probably will need to go up in the hills, bring my glue to put it back together there. Thank you again for sharing such an incredible depiction of our lives being broken and then being put back together with Christ. This was a great way to start my day. God Bless you Angie.

  • Laurie

    Thank you so much for sharing this example of how we all look after he gets ahold of us. I am so thankful that He does not expect perfection from us, just our hearts. Your pitcher is beautiful just as your heart is after Him. May He continue to fill you to overflowing as you share your heart and your life with us. You are such a blessing to so many as you grieve your own loss of Audrey. Praying for you daily.

    Love, Laurie in Ca.

  • Angie (Angelica Grace Designs)

    There are no words – well just one maybe – and it would be WOW! What an awe inspiring and extremely transparent post Angie. I might be sharing your story – this post – with my blog readers. It’s incredible. I thank God for him allowing me to cross the path of your blog two weeks ago. Keep doing what you do and continue to give him the glory!
    Blessings, Angie Seaman
    http://www.angelicagracedesigns.com/blog/
    http://www.angelicagracedesigns.com

  • petrii

    Angie,
    I have followed your story and prayed for you; in fact you are engraved in my prayer journal.

    We lost my sister in a motorcycle accident many years ago; she was 18and just 5 weeks from graduating high school. What I remember most about those moments was watching my mom grieve. She was broken; her pot shattered. But in the years that have followed I’ve watched the Lord mend her brokeness and make her “somewhat” whole, much like the pot that now sits on your table. And now in her winter years, she is such an example of faith and grace in action.

    God is amazing and to watch Him release His grace and truth in your life is breathtaking dear one. Thank you for this picture of the pitcher ~~
    Dawn

  • Terynn

    Angie:

    I will be doing this object lesson the exact instant I arrive back home form my mini-vacation. I have not “felt” the presence of the Lord (I know He is always there, regardless) for a looooong while (2 years–sigh) and I know that this exercise is for me, too.

    I love you, cyber-friend–if we do not meet here on earth, I will pry that our mansion are on the same block. lol

    Teri (from Iowa)

  • Linda

    I am typing this through blury tear-filled eyes, THANK YOU!
    Blessings,
    Linda

  • Kelli Lauren

    Like always, I’m left speechless.
    All I can say is simply….wow.

  • Traci

    That is the most awesome thing I have heard in a very long time. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Alicia Beth

    Angie,this really blessed my heart.I am struggling with feelings of inadequacy,loss of purpose,etc .Fortunately for me,I was raised in a christian home and attended church from before I was born.Isn’t it odd that people with different stories still need the same reminder? I am struggling with anxiety over some things and just this morning in my quiet time God reminded me of just how far we’d come.It was if He was saying “Haven’t i brought you this far?Don’t you know I’ll bring you through the rest of this?” Then I read your blog as was blessed all over again. I feel that I’ve failed God in so many ways and wonder why He continues to pursue me and to provide for me.I feel unworthy.So,your blog was “music to my ears” and I thank you !!!! Your words on this blog have ministered to me sooooo much.Thank you for being willing to be a drink offering to others

  • Hollie

    WOW…I LOVE this! After I saw the pitcher glued back together, I was thinking to myself…’I wonder if she has that pitcher sitting where she can see it all the time?’ I’m so glad you do!!!

    Truly amazing!

  • Tina

    Dear Angie, my life has many, many cracks too. This post was a real blessing…

    I have heard before that God’s light shines best through those cracks because there are so many of them. Thanks for reminding me of that again.

  • Heidi

    I am still in tears. Your posts are so moving. Maybe because I have been through just a small bit of what you talk about. Lost babies (through miscarriages) abuse by a man. The only difference is that I have always “known Christ”. I only wish I had a small bit of your faith and walk with him. It amazes me and makes me want to try even harder to walk closer to him and let him heal. Please keep doing this, I check your blog often as do several of my friends.
    Thank you, Heidi

  • godzgaljen

    I have to do this!! I am so thankful that your shared your heart. I even have a pitcher. I am blessed today from reading this. Thank you, thank you!

  • Anonymous

    Angie, thank you so much for this message…this message was meant for me to read this morning and I thank the Lord above for sending me here to read it. You are such an inspirition to me.
    norah

  • CPT Mom

    What a beautiful post!

    Thank you for sharing it with us.

  • Lauren

    Wow! I came across your blog, honestly, I don’t know how I did, but thank Jesus I did…I cannot stop reading it! Your EVERY word is inspirational and from the heart of God. I am trying to start from the beginning, but I had to read your latest one. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Although I am a “flannel-board Jesus kid,” and I have only been a Christian for 10 years and I am no where near your spiritual maturity, but I strive to one day be like you and to touch people I come in contact with as much as you impact ALL of these people, including myself. Thank you again for sharing your heart!

    Lauren Caldwell
    Richardson, TX

  • Hollie

    Angie,
    I’m thanking God so much for your wonderful stories of the Work He has done and will continue to do in your life! God is SO good! It has touched me in so many ways! Thank you for showing such an example of transparency!

    I just started reading your blog about a week ago and God’s Spirit is all over it! My prayers are with you and your family! I pray PEACE, GRACE, BLESSINGS and LOVE for you, your family and all your readers!

    I’m looking forward to breaking some pottery! Getting closer to God and allowing Him to continue to mold me into His wonderful pot!

  • Anonymous

    God spoke to me today through you. I have needed to hear him again for some time and this morning I heard.

  • Becca

    Wow! What a beautiful post.

    I can’t imagine the patience and devotion it takes to put a piece of shattered pottery – much less a broken person – back together. Yet, Jesus manages to do just that.

  • Precious Blessings

    Angie, I do not even know where to begin but I just have to tell you how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you blog. Not sure how I got here several weeks ago but I’m a regular now. :) I always wanted to leave a comment but to be honest, did not know how to put my thoughts into words during your loss.
    You are truly an amazing person and I KNOW you have touched so many lives in So many differant aspects as you have me.
    I personally want to thank you for being so upfront, honest, funny and just being you through your blog. I feel as if I have known you forever in a funny kind of way. I do hope that one day our paths might cross b/c I would love to meet you in person.

    I pray the Lord will continue to sustain and show His ever abundant love to you and your family; and grow you closer to him each day.

    Keep lovin’ Jesus,
    Jennifer J.
    New Braunfels,Texas

  • Jody

    Your story and pitcher remind me of an illustration I saw at a women’s conference where they took a ‘perfectly made’ piece of pottery and placed a candle over it. The room was dark at that time it went black when the bowl covered the candle. But when they took a broken/remade bowl and placed it over a candle, light actually danced across the stage and ceiling of the auditorium as it seeped through the cracks. It was a beautiful display of how God wants us to shine for Him and how He uses our imperfections and brokeness to be a light to others. It has been so true in my life and I love that you have come to grow in this same knowledge. That when we are weak, He is strong!
    And I love that God never called ‘perfect people’ to be His witnesses and His children and servants…but rather He calls the ordinary, the humble, the needy, the broken- and through His grace and perfect, sinless life and sacrifice, He makes us “new”.
    Thank you for sharing this story.
    Thank you for the beauty you display in your brokeness.
    I continue to love and hold your family up in prayer everyday.
    xoxo

  • Anonymous

    Angie,
    I have recently found your blog and I love it. Your honesty and hulmility is refreshing. I too have old wounds that God would love to heal and it is so nice to know others walk the same walk. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and know that we benefit from hearing it. Continue to allow God to use you because so many are bearing fruit. You are in my prayers.
    Susan

  • Stephanie (Ocean Mommy)

    This is the most beautiful thing I’ve read in LONG time. What a word picture. Wow. Our God is so good.

    Blessings to you
    stephanie

  • Dana Jae (and Eliza too!)

    Thank you for your obedience to Christ’s (sometimes crazy!) calling. This simple act of breaking the pitcher, putting it back together, and inviting us all to be a part of it has touched this life. Thank you.

  • 6 Bottelberghe’s

    Angie thank you for your post. It truly brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me of my past also. I will have to do the same thing one day soon. God is truly amazing and loving, even when we don’t know Him. It took me until I was older before I let Him into my life! Thank you for reminding me that God loves me no matter what I was in the past and sometimes who I am in the present. You are an amazing women, thank you for letting us into you life.

    Cathi

  • Georgia’s blog

    Angie,
    Thank you so much for your transparency and sharing your grief and healing process… Since the death of our daughter almost a month ago, I think the reality is just now settling in and it hurts. But, we have felt God’s presence and His comforting immensely. He is slowly but surely healing our cracked pot and when He tells me I will throw a cracked pot… Your posts fill me with hope for tomorrow… a tomorrow with no regrets and maybe no tears. Your ministry is amazing and the evidence that God is working in and through you and your precious family. Thank you.

    Hanging on to Him,
    Georgia
    Whitewright,Tx

    Almost forgot… what book???

  • Julie

    God is using you in many ways, this blog ministers to my heart everytime I read it. I am crying today because 1 yr ago God started reshaping my life. My husband then 31 was diagnosed with Renal failure and our life changed. We have spent this past year living month to month, day to day, week to week. I have changed so much and this illustrates a change that has happened to me. I am going to find a pitcher to shatter and work on putting back together. To God be the glory

  • Inkling

    I’m crying as I type this. Thank you for sharing this story. It is speaking to me so much now that I need to hear, at a time when I’m going through a scary and uncertain time with my physical body. I look at the girl in my past, knowing that she never had the endurance, the purity, the fortitude, and the trust in God to endure what I’m going through, and I wonder if I’ll be the girl in my past or if I’ll be someone better – someone who actually trusts her life with Jesus. I see all the cracks and holes, and find it hard to believe. So reading about how those cracks and holes are exactly how Jesus comes seeping through was a balm to my hurting and scared heart. Thank you.

    Sara in Canada

  • traci

    I feel like I have just been to a fabulous church service!!! I am so thankful you thought to take pictures…What a huge impact that has. The person of the other book simply said to break something but you took it to such a meaningful new level by listening to God and obeying. How beautiful~~I love that its on your table. Im just in awe at our Lord in Savior working in your life to reach so many…and by using a precious, innocent baby girl. God never fails~~

  • Wendi

    God bless you sweet friend. I am deeply touched and challanged by your sincere writing. I have been wrestling with my own set of shattered dreams and things that I like to pretend didn’t happen.
    A while back I actually wrote a post called “shatered…then redeemed” on my blog which illustrated my own journey with these concepts. I got an image of a broken vase off google images though…just wasn’t brave enough to do the deed myself. :) Now I am ever so inspired!!. :)

  • Hope

    Thank you so much. I usually turn my phone off when I read your posts. I didn’t today and about 2 seconds after seeing the putbacktogether pitcher the phone rings! I answered and now my sister in law thinks I am crazy or uber emotional. I told her I would link her so she would understand.

    I have a piece in mind and like the others will post the pictures…you will get sick of broken pottery pictures – not.

    Thank you again for encouraging and blessing others.

  • Anonymous

    Oh Angie…how amazing!

    I thought about this for a long time and then looked at a beautiful pitcher that I have that my mom gave me. I thought about how I didn’t want to break it because it’s special to me and about how God doesn’t want to break us, but sees the bigger picture and the ways he can be glorified in all of the “cracks.”

    Thankyou for this! I am so thankful for the beautiful fact that while you are grieving your sweet girl, you are ministering to the hearts of everyone sharing in your journey. Looks like tonight after my kiddos are asleep I’ll be putting a pitcher back together!!! :P

    Lots of love to you!
    Amy

  • Honea Household

    Wow. How powerful. I’m one of those “flannel board Jesus kids”. I’ve grown up in church, been a missionary kid, never was a rebel or partier. But we all have our cracks and gaping holes. Thank you for your honest heart in sharing all that you’ve been through. Christ shines through you…I can see it even though I have yet to meet you. (But one day I will!) Your obedience to God is amazing. I love you dear sister in Christ and pray for you daily.

  • Anonymous

    Angie ~

    I just loved reading your blog about the pitcher. It sounds like something I need to do as I try to close one chapter of my life and about to open another one.
    As always you continue to give me the strength as I face new challenges everyday, learn to trust again and let go…let God.
    I look forward to us getting together real soon for lunch.

    Love, Megan

  • Anonymous

    beautiful…a pitcher that won’t hold water unless it is from the spring of Living Water.

  • Linda

    Again – you touch so many with your honesty & your willingness to show your vulnerability to us. As I read this with my daughter (16 yrs) she said – “mom – you have to share broken veseels with her” Broken Vessels is a song put out by a young Christian band called Bread of Stone whom we have been blessed to have met. I have shared the lyrics with you – but I hope you take some time someday to hear the song – they have itunes, myspace – you know the norm. thanks again for sharing your beautiful family & journey with us.

    Broken Vessels
    (Bread of Stone)

    A life full of misery,
    pain, and agony
    Why did it happen to me
    Filled with brokenness,
    strife and bitterness
    Why did it happen to me

    Like an earthen vase
    That’s fallen in disgrace
    Why did it happen to me
    Shrapnel on the ground
    Hurting those around
    Why did it happen to me

    I can’t change what has happened to me
    But from this vase Your glory shines
    Through the cracks and the gapping lines
    to touch broken vessels

    Though life goes on
    What has been can’t be undone
    Why did it happen to me
    I know the reason why
    This shattered vase You did not hide
    So You can shine through me

  • Steph

    Absolutely beautiful! Thanks for sharing. I’m starting to learn how He has worked through me while I’ve been so “broken” lately.

    Thanks for posting. What was that book?

  • Anonymous

    Thanking God for your story, your willingness to share it and how beautifully you do. Thank you for bringing us all to Christ again and again and for reminding us of His faithfulness even in our faithlessness. :-) Thank You.

  • boomama

    Thank you for this. A million times. Thank you.

  • marilena

    Angie, I loved this post. I grew up in an Italian-catholic family and I can so relate to the story of the Jesus picture on the wall surrounded by pictures of old ladies. That made me giggle. I didn’t become a beleiver until I was 20 years old and it makes me so sad that Italian-catholics think of God as such a mystery and they are so superstitious! At least in my family. Anyways, I am so grateful that He called me out of that life and into a relationship with the one and only!! I love how you compared our life to the broken pitcher. He is the only one who can put us back together and even with all of our cracks and imperfections we are beautiful in His eyes.
    THANK YOU!

  • Anonymous

    Angie, again you touched my heart in such a profound way..first with your honesty and then your eloquence with words. What a wonderful analogy the broken pitcher is regarding not only your life…but ALL of our lives. All of us come before the cross with a different story and yours may be filled with pain from the past..but God is faithful and full of grace and died just for you (and for me too)!! The person you are/were when you came to him to be cleansed is exactly the person that your husband fell in love with. The experiences that you have had in your life God will use to touch so many others (and is doing so already!).
    In another week, I will get to see and listen to your husband and Sela when they come to Wisconsin. I can’t wait! I will be blessed by that evening I know…and I will think of you and your family!
    Thank you Angie for sharing a part of yourself so publically here!
    Blessings to you!

  • weavermom

    Beautiful.

  • Heather

    Beautiful! thank you for this. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to link to it on my blog.

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

    that was such a great story! thank you for sharing! i can’t wait to share your story and try it out myself! you are an inspiration! :)

  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

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  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

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  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

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  • by Ashlee & Her Mommee,

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  • Jai

    Angie .. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! This post like all your others are so honest and frankly right on it.

    This is a beautiful display of our lives and how God loves and handles us.

    I will admit, I like your pottery much better in the “after”. After you did what He told you to do, so you could “see” what he has done for you.

    If I can find a piece, I plan to shatter it and will email a photo. I have needed to do this for more than 4/5 years … just wasn’t obedient …

    Thank you, thank you!

  • Jungheims

    Angie…all I can think right now is, “Please don’t stop writing.” Christ is shining through your cracks and flowing to me….I need the rays. Thank you!

    Lisa
    Grace’s mom

  • Karen

    Thank you for this. I needed it today. More than you know. :)

  • Shanda

    Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us.

  • Sarah W

    I have to say, this is my favorite entry so far…..wow, it really ministered to me! Thank you so much for sharing this special moment!

    Blessings!
    Sarah Witt
    Missionary- Botswana Africa

  • Becoming Me

    Thank you again for sharing your beautiful heart in all its fragmented splendor. I’ll be honest, I always thought that the breaking of glass was hokey and dangerous, but as I am grieving today, I will pray about doing this. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    I might try this. I am so sorry to hear of your sweet daughter’s death. I am so glad to hear testimony from you about what Christ is doing in your life. Tabatha

  • Kathleen in TX

    God is truly pouring out of the cracks! What a powerful post! Thank you.

  • Susan

    Your thoughts and words took my breath away. Bless you and yours!

  • Adventures In Babywearing

    I can’t stop crying. This was beautiful.

    Steph

  • Faith

    This is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for opening your heart and sharing how God is working.
    I continue to pray for you and your family!

  • Ashley and Mike

    Your story is a joy to read. I hope you don’t mind, but I linked your blog from mine so that my family and friends can also come meet Audrey Caroline and her amazing mom.

    Ashley

    http://www.alegacyofhope.blogspot.com

  • {Karla}

    wow. that’s all i can say…

    simply beautiful.

    blessings,
    Karla

  • Sandra

    Thank you for this beautiful story. I cried as I read it. What a wonderful reminder that we don’t have to be perfect for the Lord to “seep” through the cracks in our lives.

    God bless you for your transparency through this journey.

    S-

  • Angie

    Thank you Angie for your story. It gives me such hope and faith. Your stories make such an impact in my life. God is great and awesome. I think that your pitcher is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that story with us. God Bless you.
    Angie
    Adrian MN

  • willblogforshoes

    Wow! What a beautiful picture. And pitcher.

    Thank you!

  • Luanne

    Such a beautiful story. Your writing touches so many hearts. What a wonderful gift you have and I for one am so thankful that you allow God to shine thru the holes of your broken vessel.

    Bundles of Blessings,
    Luanne

  • Amy

    Wow! The simple and amazing beauty that comes from listening to Christ.

  • Jaime

    Love this, what a great reminder that we can make mistakes and continue to let God shine through us! Thanks for sharing.

  • anonymous

    Its so true, no matter how our past have been He wants to meet us just were we are. Even though you have experienced some bad things, He will mend your broken heart and create it into beauty again, as only He can. I thank you for that Lord. Thank you for taking us just as we are, we are so in need of grace. Lord I also thank you for shaping us just as you want us. I give my life to the potters hand.

    Gods bless

  • Annabelle

    Wow, that really spoke to me. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Karen

    words cannot express how much this touches my heart. Thank you for sharing your story. I am praying for you and your family.

    blessings,
    karen

  • Mackenzie’s Forever Family

    Wow-that’s a great story and a wonderful suggestion. Thanks for sharing.

  • Jenna

    I am just speechless.

    All I could ever say that would be near enough would be thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this and allowing God to move through you. He is so good, and I feel blessed that He has brought me to your blog!

    Love, Jenna

  • Starr

    Angie,
    It is always a blessing to read your blog, to have a feeling of renewness as well as encouragement and conviction. Your family is always in my prayers, and you have encouraged me to create a blog and let the Lord speak through my pain and the miracles he has allowed me to recieve.

    Starr Briggs
    Merrimack, NH

  • His_Princess2008

    I just love you. :) You have taught me so much. I just wanted to let you know that I am still praying for you. I posted a blog about you as well. :)

    godsprincess08.blogspot.com

    Love ya,
    Dani

  • Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories

    I can’t see through the tears in my eyes. It is so beautiful, and Jesus is speaking to me through it…yet I’m not sure if I’m ready to let ago and accept that He LOVES me, flaws and all. I have known Him since I was 4 years old, yet I have failed Him so many times. You have spoken such truth here; your soul is beautiful as it lets Jesus seep through the cracks.

  • Nicole

    Angie, this post had made me wrap myself in the Lord and ask him to heal my bitter heart over the death of my children. While I do not have a pitcher to smash, I am getting some leftover tile pieces from a friend and I will piece those together one by one until something, anything even remotely looking like an answer to my prayers and I’ll post the photo of my creation.

    God bless you, Angie.

    Wrapped in Grace,

    Nicole

  • whittakerwoman

    I have to admit I am not one to read long posts on blogs of people I do not know… However I was stuck, drawn in and am forever grateful. Wonderful story! I look forward to this project! I will keep you posted. H

  • Jaime

    Angie,
    Thank you so much for sharing your heart, your hurts, and your love of your Savior. This particular post couldn’t have come at a better time or place for me. God is doing a work in my heart to break me and receive glory from this life that has been wrought with mistakes. May it be so.
    Thank you, again.
    Jaime West
    Denver, CO

  • Gray Matters

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Over four years ago I lost our two beautiful daughters, Ellie and Kate in a car accident. I feel God is healing me a piece at a time. I am thankful and fearful. I am praying for the courage to break a pitcher and strength to put it back together again. Thank you.

  • Laura

    Beautiful. Thank you for this post, for reminding me that God can use this cracked pitcher as a vessel for Him.

  • Anonymous

    Angie….I have been reading your blog for quite some time now. I have been awed by your grace…your courage, and your steadfastness with GOD.

    Today…something changed for me, thanks to you…thanks to this post. I WILL find a pitcher…I WILL break it…and then I will write you again.

    Much love and thanks

    Laurie

  • Jamie

    This is the first time I’ve visited your blog – and wow! This is an amazing post you’ve shared with us. THANK YOU!

  • ThatGirl

    thank you.

  • Soliloquy

    I’ve never read your blog before this.

    I’m generally not without words, but……….

  • walkingbyfaith

    Beautiful. :)

    I don’t have a glass picture, but you make me want to buy one just to smash it. I have a feeling this is one of those things God will push me about until I do it. When I do, I promise to take pictures. :)

    Thank you for your honesty and for sharing yourself with us.

    Love to you!

  • jamie b

    Wow! Angie, that was beautiful. The Lord has gifted you with your words to impact people’s lives like mine. Thank you for being an open vessel…broken and spilled out.

  • Nayeli

    angie :)
    thank you for your words, they really are a blessing!
    this post made me realize that my life was “smashed” for a good reason. yea there was a lot of pain in the process, but oh man!, i can’t wait to see what He does. please know that you and your family are in my prayers. and i really do hope that we meet someday ( if not, i will def look ya up in heaven!). much love, nelly.

  • Kathryn Campbell

    Thank you so much for this post. What a blessing! I’m a 23 year old woman from Virginia, diagnosed with a very rare, terminal disease. However, over the past two years, my family has graciously seen the Hand of God. He indeed molds us…often as pots that we wouldn’t chose for ourselves, but so much more beautiful in the end.

  • Carole

    Angie,
    That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. I’m so thankful that the Lord uses your gift of writing the way He does. Thank you!
    Carole Brooks
    Dallas, TX

  • Leanne

    hoo, 119 comments? Do you read them all? I love your blog, and I am shy to say I hesitate to comment, although I read you every single day and identify deeply, viscerally, with you….I always think of the hundreds of comments you get and HOW would you read little-old-me??

    Your post resonated with me.

    I have this pitcher. I’ve had it for several years. I used to love it…but lately I haven’t. I wanted to get rid of it, but hesitated….

    Maybe I’m supposed to break it and put it back together again…..

    Beacause I’m broken, cracked, battered too, but victorious and so much closer to Jesus through the things that have broken me.

    So I might do some breaking and putting back together.

    Leanne in Longview

  • Rebecca

    Have you ever heard the song that goes like this:
    “You are the potter, I am the clay. Make me and mold me, this is what I pray”.
    I wish I could remember it all right now, but your post reminded me of that song. I can’t thank you enough for this post. I have been struggling lately with the stresses of life, and sometimes forget to ask God to be with me and help me.

  • velvet brick

    This is an absolutely eloquent post with so much wisdom. I only wish I could do it. I could shatter the pitcher, but I wouldn’t be able to mend it wholly. I made a decision and, even though it was the right thing to do, it haunts me daily. So the pieces would not fit back together. I’ll keep visiting you, though, to look at the picture of the beautiful vase. Blessing be at your home.

  • Bevy

    I love the way the Lord reached to you thru the rosary & car accident.

  • Andrea

    LOVING ANGIE.

  • Kristi

    Beautiful. Your relationship with God and the way you cling to Him is very inspiring, and very humbling. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

  • Anonymous

    Hi my name is Heather and I’m from Utah – it’s odd but I think I heard about your blog from a friend of mine and checked it out. I cried my eyes out as I read it then went to my sleeping infant daughter’s room and fell on my knees and thanked god for what I have. You have touched my soul and I appreciate my children a little bit more now – I am more patient when they choose to be naughty. Anyways I justed wanted to let you know that you have changed my life just a little bit and I am thankful for that. I can see that you are growing from this difficult challenge that God has given you but I know that you will be with your little Audrey again. I also wanted to let you know what an amazing writer you are. I get excited to check and see if you have written anything new – the way that you find ways to express yourself through words is amazing – something I wish I had – so consider that a gift. I wish you and your family all the best! Love Heather

    Heather Brammer
    Centerville Utah

  • Andrea

    What an inspirational story, Angie! I love it!! I would always keep that pitcher sitting high with your precious valuables for all to see! It’s such a true statement of how God can work on us and still make us look beautiful because we’re fearfully and wonderfully made, even with all of wrinkles, cracks, regrets and bets!

  • Anonymous

    YOU ARE SO AMAZING. I just LOVE your analogies. I think you are absolutely brilliant. I got chills reading about your fingers brushing over the cracks… what an AMAZING experience. I’m glad you did it.

    - Rachel in Kansas City

  • melanie

    Angie,
    My husband and I had the privilege tonight of reading the story of your sweet daughter’s life. She was so very beautiful. The way that your family cherished her, even before she was in your arms, is such an example to me of how God wants to tenderly lavish His love on His children. Thank you so much for being transparent and sharing her with us. I rejoice knowing that one day very soon you will hold her again, and pray for strength for your sweet family until that day.
    In Jesus, Melanie

  • Anonymous

    I need a set of dishes to do this with. I do not think one plate or pitchr will do. God is amazing.

    Thank-you Angie for being real. Thanks for letting those storng or struggling in their walk with God see who He is through you. Sometimes we are the strongest when we are knocked down. Praying for you.

  • Jessica

    love you

  • Anonymous

    Wow, I’m speechless and in tears. I’ve followed your blog for a while now and my heart always breaks for you. I have a 16 month old daughter and a baby boy due to be born in a couple weeks. I can’t imagine going through the pain you have been through. My mom died when I was 10 and I went through about 4 years of depression and hatred of God. Only to be brought closer to Him. I know that God used my mom in so many ways and one of those ways was to bring me to my knees and draw me to a closer relationship to him.

    I don’t have a pitcher or anything I can break (my husband likes to keep breakables from me :) But I think I may go buy one just to do this. It’s powerful!
    Erin
    Columbus, Oh

  • CrownLaidDown

    Oh Angie, thank you! As I read it, I heard the LORD say to me, “Go get your words and share them.”

    So please forgive me for a long comment, but I have a poem I wrote on January 18, 2002 (I cannot seem to write poetry anymore at this time). Like you, I have quite a past, which God has seen fit to put back together a whole me in Jesus–I pray He spills out on others.

    Here is the poem:
    A Lesser Vessel
    God took this lesser vessel filled with cracks and holes.
    Carefully He restored me with precious burning coals.
    He seared the inmost places restoring what was broken.
    Then gently brought forth beauty giving more than just a token.
    A lesser vessel am I; yet, His glory overflows.
    For He took all my sin and His blood He interposed!
    Oh praise the Lord! His family grows larger every day.
    He makes something beautiful of each piece of clay.
    My Jesus loves completely, restores each broken part.
    Within the fire of affliction brought His peace to my heart.
    Oh praise the Lord, all nations, who seek to win the prize.
    One day that same Jesus will look into our eyes! (Isaiah 22:24)

    “All the glory of His family will hang on Him: its offspring and offshoots–all its lesser vessels, from the bowls to all th jars.”

    Praying for you all daily.
    With love in Christ,
    holly smith

  • Lindsey

    I just found your blog from a friend of a friend. I read your entire blog today. I cried the whole way through and thought to myself how many times I have taken God and what we have from him for granted. I am putting you on my prayer list and praying for you and your family. You are truly an inspiring woman! Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you over and over. Love a sister in Him — Lindsey
    http://larrisonbaby.blogspot.com

  • Francine

    Angie,
    Yet again I am so thankful that I read your blog and I will be sending you a picture of a “new” work of art soon. I have some things that require this practice in my life and quite honestly I am looking forward to slamming a piece or pottery to the ground and putting it back together. YOu my dear are a true testimony to all of us of what it takes to really get through hard times. I am at aw by your love and faithfulness to God.. Thank you for sharing and know I always know in Georgia you have many many people praying for you.
    Hugs,Francine

  • Jen Gallacher

    What a beautiful entry! I am so touched. Losing my oldest son last night has been so hard; and even though I KNOW I will see him again it’s so hard to keep it together. Sometimes I am the broken pitcher too. Thank you for sharing!

  • Megan

    I’m looking for my piece of pottery as soon as I log off. You are amazing, and you bless my soul!

  • Amanda

    That is beautiful.

    You made reference to the “flannel-board Jesus.” I had forgotten those Sunday School lessons. You may not have grown up with God, but you know him now and let him shine through you much better than most of us.

    I truly admire you.

  • Foxy5

    I just spent the past two hours reading your blog. I’m tired. My husband fell asleep on the couch next to me, not wanting to go to bed without me. I just couldn’t stop reading until I read it all.
    I laughed, I cried. I mostly cried. I don’t know if I can even process a small portion of the things that have touched my heart over the past 2 hours. You have caused a stirring in my soul.
    There is no doubt that I will think of you often. And when I do there will be prayers for peace and unbridled joy to follow.

  • Debra, Texas

    Oh Angie, you are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing this.

  • KELLY

    Oh Angie, this is so beautiful! I absolutely love the truth you spoke about God speaking to you: the world can see God by seeping out of all our “cracks.” It’s such a rich picture of how God works in and through us. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  • Heidi Zawisza

    Totally awesome!! I love the way you are so genuine and obedient!
    I know that someday I am going to break pottery too…..and when I do, I will send the pictures!!!
    Love your heart!
    In HIS love,
    Heidi

  • Deni

    Long time reader, first time poster. I just want to say that I really enjoyed this post (I enjoy all of them) but this has been a particularly rough week on me. I am 28 weeks along with my first little one and have had to be rushed to the ER (thank god all is ok) and been to the doctor more times then I care to be. Anyways, I am good at dwelling on my past and feeling broken. Reading your past, and seeing how beautiful a broken clay pot can be, just made me realize that God has put me back together…thank you for your sincerity and your willingness to share. :)

    Denise
    Columbus, Ohio

  • eph2810

    Your story is so beautiful. Thank you for the reminder that God can mend anything and everyone, if we allow Him to.

    Be blessed as you have blessed me with your post.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Thank you Thank you for allowing God to use you even through your deepest pain. I have always loved reading Max Lucado stories and your writing reminds me of his. So profound yet so down to earth and real. I still pray for you all daily. Thank you again for sharing with all of us..your forever friends.
    Sue

  • CountryKat

    I found your blog tonight and I am not even sure how. This post was some of the most beautiful and honest words I have read. I went back to the beginning of your story and read all of it over the past couple hours. Thank you for sharing your Audrey with me, with the world. Thank you for letting God reveal Himself through you and your words.

  • ginalynn

    Angie,
    I just found your blog tonight through a friend’s blog that very recently buried a precious baby girl….she has drawn strength from your blog. I have spent time and caught up to today. Thank you for allowing us into your life. As I read through my tears….often times the computer screen is so blurry and I must stop and wipe my eyes (and blow my nose)….my husband wonders why I am putting myself through the “torture” of reading on. My soul aches. I am broken.
    I read several of the comments posted and came across the comment from Linda with the song lyrics for Broken Vessels…..I am still trying to find it to listen to it….but as I read those words tears ran down my cheeks….and dripped from my chin. I glanced over to my hearth and saw a BEAUTIFUL piece of pottery that I purchased…..really, truly…it has no purpose….it kinda sits there….out of place…..I just bought it because I thought it was beautiful and it matches my livingroom. I am struggling within to let it shatter at my feet. “Do you remember how much you paid for that???”…..”Stephen (my husband) will KNOW I have REALLY lost my mind!”…..”How many times have I threaten my kids to be careful…what will they think if I bust it ON PURPOSE?!?!?!”….are just a few of my thoughts! I think of how I used to be like that piece…on the outside everything seemed so perfect….until out of nowhere horrible memories of something very terrible that happened a long time ago started creeping in…overwhelming me…breaking apart all the things that used to make me feel so safe. Where have these memories been? Why are they coming back now? Now I am so broken and cracked and, most of the time, don’t even know where to start to put myself back together. I so desperately need to hear the words “Here you are, Gina. You are mended. You are filled with my Spirit, and I am asking you to pour yourself out.” Don’t know that I am ready to let it shatter at my feet right now…but as the piece of pottery will now haunt me from my hearth…I am sure that it will be sooner than later….and yes, I would love to share pictures with you.
    Thank you for your transparency and openness. God bless you!

  • Linds

    Thank you Angie. I came via Boomama, and I cannot tell you how much this means to me. I will find a pitcher, and then I will be back when it is done.

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Lisa & Gerald

    Thank you for sharing with us! when we meet I would love to put the pitcher in my hands to feel every crack
    then hugging you and your family
    Hope to see ya soon!
    HUGS!

  • Sarah

    Hi Angie,

    My sister reads your blog and pointed me to your last posting. My husband and I lost our first pregnancy, the one we’d longed for and prayed for for 19 months, on Mother’s Day. I was 9 weeks along and totally devastated. We had both believed that this pregnancy was “it”- the gift we had prayed for. And it was…it was. But the loss has left us feeling aching and empty.

    During the past two weeks I’ve allowed myself to grieve fully and express all the emotions that have arisen. Just 4 days ago I wrote in my journal that I felt like my faith was like a beautiful glass bowl that had been completely shattered with this loss. I knew that there was still beauty in the shards and I felt like God was giving me the same image that he gave to you…that after something like this, He will put us back together again and the scars we bear will bear beauty and bring Him glory. Thank you for the picture you gave me…and the challenge to do the same thing. I’ll send you the photos.

    Sharing in the pain and the healing,

    Sarah from NC

  • Three Fold Cord

    I am not able to go to church today but i believe I just heard exactly what HE was saying sitting right here at my computer.
    Think of you often!!

  • Juli

    Angie
    Don’t we all feel like that sometimes, broken or like the pieces just don’t fit. God know how it all fits together. He helps us to put it all together one small piece at a time and makes us whole. Your post really opened my eyes to that and made me think past the obvious. This post really touched me.
    Thanks,
    Juli

  • Jill

    Wow, Angie. This is amazing. Thank-you for your continued honesty and openness with us..your pitcher is beautiful in its’ new form. What a great reminder of God’s love and his ability to “put us back together”….

  • Laura

    So beautiful….guess I know what im doing with the white pitcher today.

  • Heather

    Wow I am speechless! (which is normally hard to do to me) I sit her with my own challanges. I am going to do just what you have suggested. God sure has you under his wing. Thanks for sharing your stories it makes others stronger!!

  • Linda

    Angie,
    Isn’t it funny the way the Lord works? I couldn’t sleep last night. It was one of those nights like so many others. I was going over the sins of my past – sins I know He has forgiven but that I can’t quite seem to forgive myself for. I’ve never read your blog before, but I clicked onto Boomama’s blog and there was a link to yours. So here I am… a very cracked and broken pitcher.
    Your beautiful words have spoken to my heart. It is so difficult, especially for us “flannel board” Christians who have sinned so terribly while we were His, to forgive ourselves. I think I need to look for something to break.
    Thank you Angie for sharing your heart. I will keep visiting.

  • WendyDarling

    Thank you so much for sharing this. All I can say is, “WOW! What a lesson of God’s grace and love.” :-)

  • Angie Plude

    love it goig break something right now.
    ang

  • twondra

    I was emailed your blog by someone who said it was amazing….wow. That’s all the words I can really think of right now. You’re sooooo inspiring. It’s absolutely amazing to me. I hope it’s okay I continue to come back. You give me a lot of hope in God that sometimes I don’t always have. My husband has a lot of health issues (kidney transplant, diabetes, heart issues and has had 2 heart attacks) and we are currently dealing with infertility so it’s been a struggle…but you have given me hope in such a way that I can’t even explain it. I know you’re super busy, but if you ever get a chance, please e-mail me at tammywondra@yahoo.com

    I’d love to chat with you! You’re an amazing person!

  • Trina

    My daughter has put a link to your blog several times on her own blog. I have read each time, but this one touched me like you cannot imagine. I’ve been at a crossroads, so to speak, and have been asking our precious Lord for an answer. Even this very morning I prayed again for Him to show me what I need to do. Then I read your post. Wow. My life has been full of regrets, but He has always been there for me picking up the broken pieces each time. Thank you for the wonderful reminder of what a wonderful Lord we all have.

    In Him,
    Trina C.
    Texas

  • Becca

    This post was amazing and beautiful. I love the fact that you listened with your whole heart, not heart just the parts you want to hear, but heard it all, and completed it all the way through. You are amazing!

    God Bless,
    Becca K

  • lori

    WOW! So glad I found your blog from the LPM blog. This blog is now a must read on my page.

  • BooSheep

    Today was my 1st day on your blog, but now it is linked forever. Your story was moving and powerful. Thank you for your openess to share. I know exactly what pitcher I am going to use! Your family is in our prayers.

    Shelley Yates
    Loganville, GA

  • Anonymous

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLrAkQKC2Vc

    a wonderful and powerfull song!

    //hanna

  • BethGo

    Some people would call this a perfect meditation. Very, very powerful.

    Thank you this post. It has really motivated me and made me think.

  • Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality

    wow, Angie, is all I can say! I just clicked over from Boomama and have gone back to read the precious story of your baby Audrey and the events that led you to do this blog. What an absolutely powerful and amazing story & how your faith shines through in spite of all you’ve been through. You sound like a woman who has been walking with the Lord for at least 2 decades and I see how new you are to the Lord. Your story really touched my heart. I see that you have a lot of readers coming by, but I just wanted to add my comment too.

    The broken pitcher story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your light,

    Rhoda

  • redeemed one

    I have noticed that many of the people who have a love for Christ that inspires me developed that love by being pieced back together by our loving Potter – by living a life that wasn’t perfect, by being rescued out of it by a loving Hand.

    Although the past is painful for me to consider, I wouldn’t trade it for anything because of how deeply I came to know Jesus as He pieced (and continues to piece) me back together, gently, carefully, lovingly, with infinite wisdom and care.

    How great is our God.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Marcy – The Glamorous Life!

    My heart broke and soared with joy while reading this post. We are al a little broken…

    May God continue to bless you and your family with healing ways..

  • Janera

    Dear, sweet Angie, I have been reading your blog for awhile now. Your searching and your writing are phenomenal and cathartic. What you really want, my sister, is your sweet baby back, and we all want that for you, too. Deep, deep inside we all know that God is giving you more than that, but nothing seems like it could be better. We get that.

    But, dear friend, what a gift you are giving in your testimony! So many readers come here and leave touched by the Father. You and your baby have been His hands and His heart and will continue to be.

    It’s just a tiny little testimony to your service, but I want to invite you to come over and read my post today (Sunday) to see how He has connected us for someone — I don’t know whom, but that’s ok.

    There are no coincidences, are there?

    Blessings,
    Janera
    http://www.mygardenhat.blogspot.com

  • Edelweiss

    I was drawn here today and am so very glad that I was. Thank you for this post, and for all the others that have touched me. Your strength gives hope to so many. I wrote recently about being broken and being healed by God. Your post reinforces that belief.

    Thank you.

  • SingerMamaMelody

    Wow Angie, that is an amazing story. Thank you for sharing that with us. I have always loved the scriptures about being a vessel in the hands of the Potter, and this makes it all the more relevant to hear your story. I did something similar to your breaking of pottery after a very difficult breakup before I met my dear husband…I burned letters and cards from the guy I had dated, as a way of cleansing that part of my life. It was so therapeutic and it really helped me to close that chapter and to feel like God had healed me from that painful time. I’ll have to break a pitcher sometime. That sounds like a really interesting exercise.

    I’m thinking about you and your family and praying for you.

  • Jenny

    Another heartfelt honest post!
    I never thought that breaking a piece of ceramics would be so cathartic, but clearly it is. There are still things I have clung on to me from my past and one day I might just have to try and break my own piece.
    Thanks for sharing!
    :)

  • Kari

    Hi, my name is Kari, I am just a woman in southern Ohio who is broken and trying so desperately to follow my Jesus. He has brought me to a beautiful place of seeking His freedom these past few days, and I do believe I will purposely purchase a brand new ceramic pitcher and shatter it and put it back together with Him.

    Thank you for your heart!

  • Carol

    What can I say? Thank You. May 23rd was the one year anniversary of my best friend going to Heaven, as well as a year long “battle” between me and God. I have been reading all of your posts, and have even listed you on my favorites to share the blessing with friends. I wish I could put into words the impact you have had in my life. I feel as though I know you and that God is using your blog to speak directly to me… Thank You! I can’t wait to meet you! ;)

  • Eric and Michelle

    This is beautiful and I will never forget this. Just absolutely beautiful!

  • A 5 time mom

    This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey of love and healing in the Lord, sister.

    Beckie

  • Lylah

    phew. . .

    thanks . . .

    ps…my husband wrote one of the songs on your playlist – you are my hiding place. i’m honored that it’s playing on your blog.

    broken with you ~ lylah

  • Stephanie

    I am a new reader…and I truly enjoy your post…thank you for the reminder that we aren’t perfect and that God loves us…for all our triumphs and mishaps…thank you again…steph

  • Amanda

    Angie-
    I just found your blog on Fussy’s blog. It is so precious and strikes quite a chord with me. Our second son, Jacob, was born, only by the grace of God and his precious son Jesus. He had Edward’s syndrome (trisomy 13) and was severely deformed, but he was born and lived an amazing 45 minutes. I knew he was so sick and asked God for a miracle, and I got one. Your story is cleansing and good. Thank you.

  • Beccalynn

    It’s not often I wander into a stranger’s blog and find myself touched to tears. That was an amazing story and a beautiful illustration. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Jenny

    I just had to add that I felt the same about my hubby when I first laid eyes upon him. I remember thinking almost the exact thing as you…”I’m sure he’s way outta my league”…that was almost 18 years ago…10 years of marriage and 8 years of dating + 3 exuberant boys!
    God is great!

  • Keith and Kathryn

    Angie,
    It is hard for me to imagine that you have time to read 182+ comments, but I’m taking the chance that some day you might. :) Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I lost my first baby during pregnancy in 2003 and have spent the last 4 1/2 years feeling that people just don’t “get it.” Even the well-meaning people. I grieve every year on the anniversary of my sweet baby’s passing (or the day that I found out that she was no longer with us) and her “birthday” (her due date), but I grieve in private. Thank you for validating my grief. Though we have never met (though we will someday, even if on the other side!) I feel confident that you would understand my pain. So thank you.

    My husband asked me tonight why I would want to read about such tragedy. I told him that ever since we lost our baby, God has granted me the privilege of ministering to other mothers with similar stories. I pray that hearing your story told with such vulnerability will allow me to better minister to the women that God sends my way. Thank you again.

    You are an incredible woman of faith and I look forward to meeting you one day!

    On a different (and very off-topic note)… I went to Vandy, too! Maybe we’ve run into each other before. :)

  • Elizabeth S

    I am going to go back and read the rest of this entry, but I had to comment on this as soon as I read your prayer to God to give you “someone like him.” I prayed that EXACT prayer for my husband. I went to Lipscomb for one semester and they have Tuesday night devos on the square. Anyway, my now husband read a scripture that night and I remember walking back to my dorm room and praying that prayer. For someone like him. Now almost 12 years and four kids later, God gave me everything I could ever hope for in my husband. Your story has blessed me and I pray for you.

  • Anonymous

    I have been reading your blog for quite some time now, and with every entry, you radiate your love for the Lord and encourage me to grow closer to Him. Thank you so much for all your honesty and openness. Thinking of you and praying for you often.
    Debbie
    Franklin, NJ

  • Elizabeth S

    Me again. I just finished reading…what a beautiful post. Thank you for letting the Lord seep through you. The pitcher is beautiful!!!

  • Stacy

    Angie…I am speechless….thank you for sharing this with us. What an amazing testimony

  • mom22girls

    Angie,
    I don’t think I have ever posted before. However, I have been following your journey/story for some time now. Thank you for the beautiful picture of how the Lord makes us and loves us with our imperfections and all! Such a wonderful metaphor and exercise to allow the Lord to move, work and speak to you. I would love to do this and let the Lord speak to my heart, I pray for the time and the perfect day! Thank you for sharing. A sister in Christ.
    Michelle

  • Anonymous

    Angie,

    What a wonderful post. It is amazing how God use’s ordinary things in our life to show you who He is:)

    He speaks to the one who is still enough to listen.

    Renee

  • Kathleen

    I have been reading your blog for months and praying for you and your family but have never left a comment. I just couldn’t leave tonight without leaving one. I see myself in that once broken pitcher and it made me realize all that God has done in me. It brought tears to my eyes. I have felt so broken at times but I have also felt so delicately put back together. Thank you for this blog entry!

  • Llama Momma

    this is so encouraging to me tonight. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Angie for being so real. You are truly a blessing. Here are the words to a point of Grace song that I wanted to share with you. It’s called Heal the Wound…I am so thankful that God heals our wounds but leaves the scars so we are reminded of HIS Mercy…..

    I used to wish that I could rewrite history
    I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
    Then I could just pretend
    I never knew the me back then

    I used to pray that You would take this shame away
    Hide all the evidence of who I’ve been
    But it’s the memory of
    The place You brought me from
    That keeps me on my knees
    And even though I’m free

    Heal the wound but leave the scar
    A reminder of how merciful You are
    I am broken, torn apart
    Take the pieces of this heart
    And heal the wound but leave the scar

    I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
    I don’t take pride in what I bring
    But I’ll build an altar with
    The rubble that You’ve found me in
    And every stone will sing
    Of what You can redeem

    Heal the wound but leave the scar
    A reminder of how merciful You are
    I am broken, torn apart
    Take the pieces of this heart
    And heal the wound but leave the scar

    Don’t let me forget
    Everything You’ve done for me
    Don’t let me forget
    The beauty in the suffering

    Heal the wound but leave the scar
    A reminder of how merciful You are
    I am broken, torn apart
    Take the pieces of this heart
    And heal the wound but leave the scar

    LC in Cincinnati

  • Nixter

    Wow what an awesome post. I came past your blog by a friend of mine, i am all the way in Australia.

    I loved this whole thing, thanks for the powerful reminder.

    By the way I love the pitcher way better after you put it back together :) And what an awesome reminder that God does exactly the same to us.

  • MikeandCharlsie

    Thank you so much for telling your story. We lost our little girl almost 2 years ago and as I sit here reading your blog I am sobing. I can’t put into words how comforting it is to hear someone else’s story. Losing a child is so incredibly hard but hearing of others who have made it through as well brings a sense of unity and comfort, thank you.

  • Jane-Jane

    wow! your words of the gaps are where He is able to pour out and be seen by the world….THAT got me! Thank you.

    Can you share with us the book you were reading?

    Thank you for all your encouragement. isn’t amazing what God can do in 8 short years?!?

    still praying for you guys!

  • daddyontheroad

    Oh, Angie… thank you SO VERY MUCH for sharing this… water on dry ground, my friend, water on dry ground.

  • The Bargain Shopper Lady

    I loved this story from your heart! It’s so often that we feel like a broken vase, thanks for reminding that God has glued us back together!
    ~Lori
    The Bargain Shopper Lady

  • Peapod Four

    Angie, I have spent my whole evening with you tonight! I came to this post by a link from another blog, but when I finished reading, I clicked the link at the top to go back to the beginning. I’ve just finished the last post, my glass of Coke, and my bowl of popcorn. My cheeks are still tear stained and my glasses have those annoying water marks wet eyelashes leave. I’m so glad you have had such genuine friends and family to surround you.

    Thank you for being so open and honest with both your joy and your pain. Five years ago my close friend Molly went to get her son, Jackson, up from a nap, but he wouldn’t wake. He had died of SIDS. So much of what I read in your agony and your grief, took me back to those days, months, and anniversaries. I’ll never forget the sound that cried out of her as she followed the tiny casket up the church aisle. I remember, though, talking with our friends about how strong she was and what faith she had. Much like I see in you. She, and you too, likely, would say that God gave her what she needed each day to make it though. He was strong where she was weak. His mercy is new every morning. About two years after Jackson died, it was Molly who listened,and truly understood, as I grieved a miscarriage. I’m amazed and yet thrilled that you can already see yourself helping other women through such a difficult time. Sara was one, but there will be many more. Some in person, some online, maybe other through a book or the song. Thank you for allowing God to use you even in your immense pain.

    PS. I sent Molly the link to the song tonight.

  • Bestill

    I just wanted to let you know that I spent last night into the wee hours of this morning reading Audrey’s story. Thank you for being so open and honest. There are many things you have said that reached out and grabbed me, but the thing that stood out to me the most is your ability to trust God no matter the outcome. Your interview with Pete Wilson touched me profoundly as well. You have 4 very beautiful daughters but that can’t be a surprise becuase you and your husband haves uch amazing spirits and are beautiful inside and out. Again, thank you. I hope you don’t mind but I wrote a blog about your story today and left the link to your blog so others can be touched by Audrey’s legacy.

  • tony

    thanks so much for sharing this! so touching (and now I’ve got to start listening to David Crowder, too)

  • Tina Vega

    Your broken pitcher is beautiful; what a treasure. Thank you so much for your inspiring words and the encouragement you continue to offer us!

  • Anonymous

    Angie
    When I read through all these comments I feel a need to ask you to please continue to write, even when you feel you have nothing to share. Part of me thinks that it is selfish to ask this when you are experiencing so much grief but when you read the comments you realize that God is working in absolutely incredible ways through you.
    I can never imagine how you must feel on a daily basis. I DO and WILL continue to pray for you, your family and all of those who leave comments. God is touching us all through you. THANK YOU!

  • tangomoon

    I have my own broken pottery story. Thank you so much for the sharing you’ve done here ~ I came through a link of a link and spent several hours pouring through your story. What a God honoring tribute to your precious daughter! Keeping your famiy in prayer!

    Lorri

  • Kelli

    looking forward to shattering glass. :)

  • .

    Thank you for the words on the pitcher. It was just what I needed this early am. As reiterated over and over below thanks for opening up and letting God work thru your words!

    Jennifer Lemoine
    Dallas, TX

  • Annie

    Wow, what a beautiful illustration of life. God lets us break but is always there to put us back together again. Your insights about how He can seep out more after broken and put back together again has given me something to think about. I had never seen it this way but it is so true.

    Thank you,
    Annie in CA

  • Hope Wilson

    AMAZING! I stayed up until after midnight last night reading your blog…thank you for giving me a glimpse into your life journey and being so transparent. I had tears streaming down my face while reading your letter to precious Audrey – I praise the Lord for placing her in your loving care while briefly in this world (& more importantly, in your womb) – YOU are the true definition of a MOMMY! What a reflection of Christ. Lord, please continue to “meet” Angie as she cries out to You…sustain her and bring continued peace & contentment. May Angie feel your loving arms around her, protecting her, just as You allowed her loving hands, arms & womb to protect Audrey. I ask that You continue to poor rich blessings upon Angie and her amazing family. Thank you for “using” us for Your Glory, Lord.
    Hope Wilson
    Macon, GA

  • Kelley

    Wow… just wow…

  • Strawberry Blonde

    Angie, I’ve not left a comment for you before. I’ve read your beautiful works for some time now. I just wanted to say thank you. For me, I love your broken pitcher. I think it is more beautiful than before. What a lovely reminder that we are all broken and He can put us back together because the blood has already been shed. I needed the reminder. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know how I found you… but I did. Thank you for your words and for this post in particular. Would it be too much to say that you have given me hope and changed my life? No… It wouldn’t be to much to say. I think you did.

  • Dawn Jenkins

    I loved this post…I am working a Kairos prison ministry in July with my hubbie and used your illustration in the letters I am writing to them…(I told them it was a friend of mine that wrote the story, but left off your name for privacy purposes). The Lord is going to use this illustration to heal lives inside those prison walls. Thank you for sharing!!!

  • Anonymous

    Will you please post a picture of Audrey Caroline at the left with the pictures of your family. Everytime I read your blog the pictures seem incomplete because her beutiful face is not there.

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Michelle & Gary

    Angie- I have enjoyed reading your blog for some time now. My heart aches for the pain you and your family have gone through, but my heart opens at you sharing your story and sharing your raw pain with us.
    I pray that god continues to lead you on the journey of peace and continues to strengthen you.
    Thank you!

  • Kelly

    I sent you an e-mail but in case you didn’t get it – my e-mail is mrskellystamps@yahoo.com!

  • Susie Harris

    Angie, get ready to see alot of broken pottery. I will try it and hope I can put the pieces together again. What a wonderful friend you are. Susie H

  • Amblin

    How amazing it is to me as I read this….

    The Lord’s timing is always so perfect. Today, in cleaning out various areas of my home, I found a green pitcher almost identical to the one you have pictured other than color. I have been grieving something in my life recently and I am thankful for your blog post today.

    I know what I will be doing with my green pitcher. The Lord and I will work together as I piece it back into being. And I will let His wisdom, love, and truth wash over me. Thank you for being so transparent and for being such a witness to me today.

  • Rebecca

    what an amazing visual. and what an amazing writer you are! thank you for sharing.

  • Story of our Life

    Well, Honey…
    Once again you have brought me to tears. I have been uplifted. My heart feeling a tad bit better at the Spirit that was shinning through to me while reading this post.

    About a month ago I had a therapy appt. right after my PCP found a lump in my breast. She suggested I do the same exact thing you shared w/us… She didn’t relate the “Lord/God” piece to it. Just suggested I “break” something.

    I laughed at her. Thinking “silly lady. You are a bit weird. You are very pregant and need to go on maternity leave…”

    The next Monday I had my breast ultrasound, mammogram and then agnother ultrasound – right before my appt. w/her…

    I left these appts feeling defeated, wondering what I did to make make the man upstairs mad…(I had a few other choice words/thoughts)…

    Again, J suggested that I do the exact same thing. Stating she felt that it would “help” channel my anger, ect ect.

    I’ve thought about this often over the last few weeks.

    I might just need to take her/you up on it.

    Problem – I don’t have any “pottery” or “cherished” item like this. I might need to go to goodwill and find something…

    :) Love in Him,
    Gala

  • MomsTheWord

    This is a great testimony. I linked over from somewhere else and I’m so glad I did. I need to record the moments that God speaks so I can remember when He seems further away.

  • Anonymous

    You truely are an inspiration to me. I have for the last few weeks struggled with my walk with God and I truely think you are helping me. Thank you Angie!!

    Tressa
    http://myblessedfamily-tressamomof3.blogspot.com/

  • Dena ~ swaddlecottage

    I found you today through Janera at My Garden Hat and I was moved to tears with this post. Thank you for sharing this and for being so obedient to his will.

    Blessings,
    Dena

  • connorcolesmom

    Angie,
    I relate so much to you

    1)a past abusive boyfriend
    2) a car accident where I should have been decapitated
    3) a rebellious nature
    4) a desire to be close to Him
    (those are just a few)

    Ironically (although I do not believe in irony) God was just telling me today about His unfailing love and how my past sins have changed me

    He told me how He is forgiving but the sin leaves “cracks”
    God is prompting me to write my own post about His revelation to me this AM about sin and if He tells me to break that pitcher – I will send you a pic :)
    Thank you
    Still praying!
    Much love
    Kim

  • Jamie

    Thank you for your transparency! What a great testimony to what God wants to do in all of us!! I have been so blessed by all your writings, but this one touched my heart in a particular way! Thank you!

  • Holly Knowlton

    Thank you for the encouragement– it’s chicken soup for the blogger’s soul!
    Looking forward to your next entry, as always!

  • Dawn

    Angie – Thank You for sharing your story; you amaze me! My faith has grown so much from reading your blog.

  • Branna

    I love you!
    I love God for bringing us together!
    I love that even though I can only empathize with your devastating situation, that I can completely identify with your thought processes and your voice that comes through your writing.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    Thank you for having the strength to share your thoughts with us… for being so honest even through the pain.
    I would be truly blessed to ever be able to make your acquaintance, as I am truly blessed to be able to read your words and thoughts.
    Bless you and your family.
    Branna

  • Joy

    That is so beautiful! I must keep my eye out for a pitcher now as all I have is plastic (and I don’t think God made me out of plastic!!!).

    I cannot wait to do this and showcase my brokeness as well.

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Troy & Tara Livesay Family

    Greetings from Haiti —

    I have been a HUGE Selah fan for a number of years — my girls are MK’s too and we got to meet Todd in Okoboji Iowa in the summer of 2006 — it was a treat for them! He was kind enough to ask them what they thought about living life abroad.

    I found your blog and like a billion other people have said – I am beyond moved by your words and your journey. God is clearly using you to heal and help and encourage others … I pray the same for you and Todd and your girls.

    tara livesay

  • Elisha

    Beautiful post… thankyou for it. Im a long time reader and never comment so I hope you dont think its weird but this post just really moved me so I wanted to thank you.

  • Kelly

    I have just read your entire blog. Thank you so much for sharing your story – and Audrey’s. I wanted to leave a comment on this post particularly, as it resonates with what I am experiencing right now.

    I just lost another baby. Two pregnancies, no babies. I am shattered, broken to bits and knowing that only God can put me back together. Trust will be the glue and love will fill in the holes.

    Thank you for your bravery and your candor.

  • Jen7Iris

    I was directed to your blog today and was compelled to read it all the way through. I have cried and laughed. But most importantly I have found my eyes put back where they belong…on Jesus instead of on my own overwhelming confusion. Thank you for that!

  • Monika

    Angie, thank you so much for this article!!! I have the same problem, problem with my past before I found God. My husband is a pure person and sometimes I think about my past and about it, that I´m not so good for him and for God. Thank you for your story, because it helped me so much!!!
    Your blog is great. you are so strong person and I wish you everything good in your life!!!

    Monika Vlckova
    Prague, Czech Republic, Europe

  • Beth

    Angie, I haven’t posted in a while, but reading about your pitcher, just hit me. Brilliant! I just love the way God works!If it wasn’t 3:30 in the morning i’d be out back shattering a pot right now. You inspire me to keep digging deeper and listening keener to our Lord. i am looking forward to tomorrow evening when my neighbors can shake their heads at the crazy lady who is out back busting up perfectly good piece of pottery. you go girl! and know we still hold you in prayer.
    until we meet……. Beth

  • goodtwin

    Angie, This is a post I really needed to read. We got word that the judge sided with the biological mother and moved the 5-yr old grandson from MI to Kentucky. It is heart-wrenching. Nothing like what you and Todd are going through, but none the less very painful. Thank you for putting things into perspective for me. I think my daughter, son-in-law, husband and myself need to find something to smash. This is only about the fourth time in our 30 years of marriage that I have seen my husband cry. We all love the son/grandson VERY much and the thought of not knowing when we might see him again (never, ever?? in the grandson’s sobbing words)is very, very hard.

  • Andrea

    Wow – what an amazing testimony to share…of then and now. It was so beautiful to read how God gives you concrete images of His sacrifice and grace. Those are two areas where I still don’t quite grasp what they mean. I get it in my head, but it has a hard time reaching my heart. Praying He will show me and others how we are to be in our brokenness.

    Thank you for sharing your heart.

  • CARRIE

    Absolutely amazing. I sent your instruction to my friend that’s going through a hard time right now, but is finding herself closer and closer to God. I told her that I wanted to go to the pottery place, make something, and when I’m ready, break it and piece it back together. I think she’ll enjoy my email. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Angie-
    You have blessed me beyond what you will ever know. You so open and honest, it is refreshing. You are able to reach so many hurting people. God has his hands on you!!!!!
    I too lost a baby, my Gabriel nearly 6 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him, or look to children that are the age he would be here on earth. I am now able to rest knowing he is in a perfect place, and will never know pain, or sadness.

    Big hugs to you and your family,
    you are in my prayers.
    xoxoxo,
    Carrie
    NJ

  • Kori

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  • Cami

    Oh Angie
    I’ve been following your blog for some time now. I have three girls which include my twins (8 yrs old) and my little one 15 months. I cannot put into words how much you’ve changed my life. I think & pray for you often. God has surely blessed us for bringing us your story and I look forward to reading your blog posts everyday. I sometimes just click on your blog to listen to the music and think of your precious little Audrey. You’ve given me such a beautiful view of life and fill my spirit with hope and love. I’ve realized how God has blessed me in ways I’ve never realized till now. I even got so inspired started my own blog.(yikes!) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for inspiring me to be a better mom, etc.. You make a difference with your strong, elequent words and beautiful soul. This is the first time I’ve written to you but felt the need to reach out. I’m sending (((hugs))) from Texas and letting you know you & your family are prayed for often. I’ve got to go find some pottery to break now.

    your new friend because of Christ,
    Cami Smith

    http://www.seedsinmyheartbycami.blogspot.com

  • Holly Green

    I have read your blog for awhile, but never left a comment. Two couples in our Sunday School class have lost their babies in the past 3 months to SIDS. I know that they find a lot of comfort in your blog. I find a lot of comfort in the fact that you are so honest about your past and how that has made you who you are today. There are a lot of us who don’t have a picture perfect story, but what a great testimony! Thanks for your stories!

  • kankelfam

    I can’t even explain how much that ministered to me. Thank you.

  • Amanda

    Thank you Angie. If I had a pitcher I would have smashed it. I hug my loved ones a little harder and thank God more for all that He gives (and takes) because of your entries. Thank you.. thank you.

  • Heather

    It’s the most beautiful pitcher I have ever seen.

    Thank you, so much, for sharing this story and your life with us.

    Love and Many Blessings to you and your family.

  • Mary Beth

    Thank you for the beautiful picture of Grace.

  • Hey it’s Amy Shipp

    Oh my goodness! I love your story, so wonderful… thank you for sharing it. He really did die for us all.
    Fussypants sent me over – I’m glad she did! :D
    Have a bessed week!

  • hislifeformine

    I thought the same thing when I first started reading your post. Smash a pitcher – get real! That is not going to help and then I’ll have a mess to clean up too.
    But, in reading to the end, bless you for being obedient.
    My heart stirs and I think perhaps I must do this as well. I don’t know what pitcher yet, but I do think it must be done (well I did see a blue and white one on top of my refrigerator this morning). There is much grief in my heart for 2 of my children – Karen & Steven. And to feel the completeness of your healing – I want that. I don’t want it to take a long time, although I do want His will. So whatever it may be I will honor my Lord and do as He asks in His time.
    And do you know what I love about your “new” pitcher? I see the great seams of glue towards the bottom, filling the cracks and seeping out and I see beauty. I love that you didn’t use a ceramic or white glue that couldn’t be seen. It is all about letting Christ be seen in our cracks, our brokenness. Thank you.

  • Hopesrising

    Very Powerful and Moving post.
    Thank you Angie.
    His light shines so deeply through you!
    Continuing to wrap you and your family in prayer.

    Kerry
    Michigan

  • blessedme

    Thank you for sharing this, thank you for bringing tears to my eyes, thank you for this reminder of who I am in Christ. I am not perfect by any means, but he loves and forgives me.

  • THE HOFFMAN FAMILY

    Thanks Angie. I needed to read this today. I’ve been saved since I was 4, but latley God’s been showing me things in a new light. Thanks for being part of that.

  • Monica

    Angie,

    Thanks so much for this post!! It has so ministered to my soul. God has been speaking to me for the past week about clay and pottery. As I read your post, I knew just what I had to do. I just smashed my pitcher and plan on having time with my Father later after my little one is in bed. I will send you a picture of the finished work! Thanks again!

    Monica

  • Lula Mae

    This was the most beautiful blog entry I have ever read. I am now searching for a piece of pottery to smash and repair but I will not take this action without taking the moments to see my life in this broken and mended piece of clay. Again, thank you.

  • Jenn

    This is wonderful. Hilarious and heart warming. I dont have a vase or pitcher or anything like that to break but I may just have to go out and buy one. Of course my husband will think Im nutty. I love your blog because I go through all emotions when I read it. I laugh at all your little comments (wrath of the glue gun, which I will have to buy one of those too.) and I cry at how close you are to God and I know Im not that close. I want to be but Im just not there yet. I go to church every Sunday and Wednesday but I barely ever pray, barely read my bible, and I dont think I have ever had a conversation with Him. Thank you so much for keeping at this. It really makes me think!

  • Anonymous

    This was such a therapeutic post! My first son was dx with autism on June 6, 2007 and some days I still have such a hard time dealing with this reality. (He’s almost 2.5!) Your posts are so up-lifting and even though I know that everything happens for a reason, it’s encouraging to know from others that whatever we are dealing with, WHATEVER, just give it up to God and things will turn out the way they are supposed to. Not always a good outcome, but the way things should be.

    In His Grace-
    Jill in MN

  • Anonymous

    When you write about your relationship with God, and the way He speaks to you, it makes me want to know Him more and talk to Him more. I am less intimidated to approach His throne when I see how brave you are. Thank you for going ahead of us who are timid and leading the way.

  • Veesa

    Angie thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone. This blog has really touched me. I know that I have many flaws and am forever grateful for God’s love for me. The representation of the pitcher for my past is amazing. I will find a pitcher and allow God to heal my hurts and my brokeness. I want to thank you for allowing God to use you to show his love for us through your story. God bless you and your family.

  • Katie and Pete

    I have been following your blog for months now. It has done so much for bringing me closer to my Lord. I have so thankful for your honest and beautiful writing during such a difficult time in your life.

    There is another family who terribly needs everyone’s prayers. Since you have such a large audience, didn’t know if you could post a link to their blog. It is http://www.forleslie.blogspot.com/

    Katie

  • R. Kristina

    Blessings to you and yours and your sweet dear heart. Found you via Whittaker Woman, via Boo Mama. So glad to have done so.

    Peace,
    R. Kristina

    PS: Going to add you to my link list.

    http://www.sharingnotes.blogspot.com

  • Nicki

    That was so beautiful! I have never heard of doing anything like this. Thank you for always being so willing to be open and honest about this road you are on!

  • Bethany Grace

    Thank you for sharing this Ms. Angie. I have read your blog from the beginning and cannot tell you how much it has ministered to me, even though I’ve only ever lost a grandparent. Thank you for being so open in sharing what you are going through, and how you look to Christ during those times. It really is a blessing to read what you write. Praying for you!

    Bethany Krebs
    (I go to GCC)

  • Cortney

    My blog reader said that your blog was one I might like and I’m so glad I found it. I love the idea of breaking the pitcher. I think I will try it!

    Thanks for sharing your story and I love the thought that the cracks and holes in us are the way that God seeps out. Thank you!
    Cortney

  • Gina@Chats With An "Old Lady"

    I love this! I was feeling quite discouraged today because of my flaws…this has reminded me of how HE views them!

  • Sarah

    I’ve been reading your blogs and I must be honest and say I don’t have the relationship you do with God. Your blogs have inspired me to find him. Today in one of my mommy groups I posted this looking for answers. I hope you can help as well.

    Sarah

    This is very personal for me – no debates, no humor, no hurting anyones feelings or mine getting hurt just need to ask this here because it’s a little embarrassing for me to ask someone in person and frankly makes me teary eyed.

    I have not been to Church in 19 years. Honestly, the last time I went was to be eligible for a ski trip with the Jr & Sr class of the youth group. We had to go 4 Sundays in a row to be eligible.

    Since Kenadie was born I’ve been wanting to get her “Saved, Baptized, or have a Committed Ceremony” I used quotes because I don’t know what to call it, I don’t know officially what religion I am ( I do know I believe in God and always respected those who did so w/out having to go to church)or how to find a church or more importantly how to LEARN about God all over again.

    I was saved as a child but would love to do it again w/Kenadie (is that even allowed – can you be Born Again twice)? We went to Baptist church growing up then all the sudden my parents stopped going. I felt so stupid during a Testament test I cheated because I didn’t know all the books in the Bible, and for what…a gold star! We continued only in Vacation Bible School thru elementary school.

    I’ve stepped into a Church 1x since the ski trip and that was Christmas Day 2006 to watch my IL’s in a holiday play for the Church – this is also the time I found out I was pg w/Stanford (my angel) and it has ALWAYS been in the back of my mind that I got pg because I actually went to church (stupid huh) and lost him because we didn’t go back ( I know, thats no where near the reason or truth – but that’s been on my mind)

    So how do I go about this?

    If you’d rather email me yout reply my email is as2468@live.com

    Thanks!

    Sarah – doesn’t even own a Bible!

  • busybusymomma

    A beautiful post- thank you for sharing. God bless you.

  • michellemitch

    I read your entire story today as my children were sleeping, and I want to thank you for sharing your heart. I recently heard a dear friend of ours who is a pastor in KY say this:

    Those who God wounds deeply, He uses greatly.

    Many many blessings to you.

  • Aunt Rhody

    We are all cracked pots, works in progress, whether it is in the forming, the firing, the polishing, or the mending. But “He makes all things beautiful in His time”.

    Your transparency is beautiful to me. Thank you. I bless you with fulness of joy and pleasures for ever more. Ps. 16

  • Tina

    I don’t even know what to say, but you are a wonderful story teller. You should definitely write a book.

    It’s a blessing for you to be able to share your painful honesty with everyone.

    I will be praying for your sweet little Audrey and for your family. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through.

    I have recently signed up as a photographer with NILMDTS and I am looking for the strength to be able to help.

  • Ter

    I came via Boo Momma who posted a link to this particular entry. I have read your post “the beginning’ (about your daughter) and commented on there too, in case you didn’t see it. I am also a bereaved mom….

  • candesintx

    Thank you for sharing this. I can’t wait to meet you.

  • Shane and Kathy Gebhardt

    Your “new” pitcher is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your wonderful witness.

  • Organized Chaos

    What a beautiful visual of the grace of God!

  • Jenny

    I found your blog through another’s on Sunday afternoon and spent a long time reading through it. I am so so sorry that y’all have had to deal with this, but your faith and love for Christ even in the midst of this was so uplifting and inspiring.

    While I don’t fully know the pain you are facing, I can imagine…We have 3 children, one of which is waiting for us in Heaven as well. We lost the baby (I feel it was a He) early on in the pregnancy, but it was still our baby, our much wanted baby, and still hard.

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Tami

    Dear Angie,
    This is my first post to you as I was unaware of your story until last evening. I had just received an email from a friend with your blog address. She is a trusted friend and I was curious as to what I would find. As I sat in my den and started reading, I was totally unprepared for the many emotions that lie ahead. 11pm passed, 12am passed and 2am there I was still reading, grieving and weeping with you. Saddened and encouraged all rolled into one.
    When I finally pulled myself away from your story, I found myself lying in bed, repenting of bitterness that had crept into my heart, praying that our great God would continue to show us his glory. We all have been created with our own unique story but the common thread is that in joyous times and in heartbreak, we cling to the fact that Our GREAT GOD IS ENOUGH! May he meet you where you are today and hold you there. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with the world. Psalm 18:16-19
    Your new friend and sister in Christ,
    Tami
    P.S. I love the pottery idea. I am going to do it too.

  • thosetonnes

    Thank you for that post. It was very encouraging. I am a friend of Keri Campbell and she linked me to this post. Love it.

  • Lindsey

    beautiful…

  • Amy

    you have so inspired me…i cried…and had a little ceremony myself…here is how it went for me…
    http://www.belovedbeautyoflife.blogspot.com

  • Marci@Finding Joy in the Journey

    When I read your blog, I want to drag friends to it, by the hair if I have to! Your words flow so beautifully that I know they are not from you alone. I know that you know that as well,your knowledge of that makes them even more beautiful. There are people in this world waiting for your words, Angie. I feel blessed to have stumbled in here! This piece needs to be out there for the world. I hope you don’t mind that I link to it from my blog. I am working on chosing a Bible Study series for the fall and I just keep thinking you have one to write. I think when the time is right those words will just burst from you.

    My prayers are with you and your family as you continue to experience loss and sadess. My heart wept for you when I read today’s post about your precious nephew. My his hands continue to hold you.

    In Christ,
    Marci

  • Anonymous

    Hi Angie~
    I have read your whole blog and i check almost every day to see if you’ve posted again. I “see” you places now…see children who remind me of yours, from the stories you tell. But this particular blog entry has really gotten to me. It’s been on my mind a lot the past few days, and so I decided to post a thought about it. I, like you, have done things I’m ashamed of. It took me almost a year to finally forgive myself, though I knew God forgave me. But this entry about breaking the pitcher has shown me something new. Perhaps this is a weird way of looking at it, but I feel like God has shown me over the past few days that when my pitcher was fine, no cracks at all, I could only pour Him out a little…only to certain people. But now that there are cracks all over, He can be poured out to so many more people. His love can seep out and reach even more people than before, because I can now relate to more people. This has been on my mind recently and is making me more thankful for what I have been though. Just thought I would share that with you. :)

  • Jaime

    Angie,

    I have read a few entries and I am so amazed how God works. Your a testimony to us all. Even us Christians on how to trust God fully.

    In His Love,
    Jaime

  • Scott A. Samter

    Angie,

    As you can see from the countless comments this post has received – your words and His love have touched beyond what you ever imagined. He does more adundant always!

    I think you just found the name of your book – The Past and the Pitcher (filled with all the broken pottery, pictures and the stories behind them – YET with victory and how He puts us all back together). WOW!!!!!

    Angie – what about a women’s conference where we can all come to meet you???? Selah can be our worship group? You can host events throughout the country – West Coast, Mid-West, Mid-Atlantic, East and South Coast!

    Yes, I know putting the horse before the cart so to speak – but the thought continues to cross my mind every time I read someone say the words I have prayed over and over again – Lord I hope to have the opportunity to look her in the eyes this side of heaven to say THANK YOU and I love You Angie Smith!

    The past is no place for our awesome God! He deals with us all today. He loves us all today! He does NOT care about yesterday. He wants to know – today will you hear My voice and be obedient? Your answer and heart show abundantly clear on this blog every time you share another piece of who you are in HIM! I LOVE THAT AND YOU!

    I look forward to putting together a broken piece of pottery with our 13 yr old daughter. I cherish all that you shared in this post!!!

    I send hugs from all of our blessings – Jill (PA)

  • Patricia

    Something I got as I looked at the picture of the broken pottery: As I was looking at the picture of the broken pottery, I got a revelation that when our lives do become “shattered”, the “mended” version/outcome actually comes out looking better than when it was a “smooth”, “uncracked” piece of pottery. The new piece actually looked like creative work-of-art. No one’s life is “shattered” the same way either, which causes us to be that unique piece of art. So don’t be mad and discouraged when your pottery becomes shattered because when it’s being put back together again, you will come out better than you were before.

  • Stef

    beautiful.

  • kma

    Angie! That is the most beautiful act of love and devotion I have ever heard! The story tells HIS story so well and what a blessing to spend that time with God…each day! I have stayed connected with your blog, prayed and held you close to my heart.. We were ‘neighborhood neighbors in your previous home. I would love to reconnect, maybe with Emily W., too! from the heart, Kelly Austin kmamomx2@yahoo.com

  • Lori

    Thank you. It’s said quietly and with tears in my eyes from a stranger that was told go check out this blog, I did. I’m glad.

  • Sharon

    What a good word! :)
    Thanks for sharing so sweetly from your heart.
    THANK GOD FOR HELPING US ALL!

  • Jaimi

    That was absolutely the best thing I have ever read! I grew up in church and then became rebellious in college and I often say to the Lord how much I wish that rebellious time had never existed. He reminds me that he loves me regardless, that he has forgiven me and that I am a new vessel. Yes, I love that he can shine through my cracks! Thank you for sharing this and for being so obedient.

    God Bless,
    Jaimi

  • motherly prosody

    This is beautiful, inspiring. A deluge of truth and vulnerability in letters and punctuation. I forwarded this post to nearly every person in my address book, in hopes that they too would find a renewed passion for the mercy and space filling grace of our ever thoughtful Lord. Thank you for this, your ministry via blog!

  • Jenni Saake

    Angie, I have just read this post AFTER reading news of your precious Luke. The post itself spoke deeply to me – thank you! I’ve used broken pottery as an example in a talk I’ve given, but I LOVE the picture of the putting it back together again. Praying for you as He continues to pour you out in the loss of your dear nephew.

    Jenni Saake
    http://www.HannahsHopeBook.com

  • Melissa

    Angie (my daughter is Angie too)-
    I was introduced to your site via “Celebraty Baby Blog” and am fascinated at your story….. Fascinated at how, through all of this adversity, you have remained a strong, God-loving (and fearing) woman. I can not even imagine the loss of a child and now a nephew, but please know that you are an inspiration on how to ALWAYS trust and love our Savior, no matter what!!! I lost my mother 3 years ago to ovarian cancer, while I was pregnant with my daughter; and honestly, I lost site of God for a while (i am ashamed to say that)… couldn’t understand how a loving God could “take” my mommy from me at such a young age. THANK YOU for sharing your story and continuing to spread His word.

    PS- This pitcher idea is awesome…. what a great way to “rebuild” my spirit!!!!!

  • Tessa

    Angie,

    I have just read through your entire blog and I am so deeply touched by your amazing heart and faith in Jesus. Your words were so inspiring and I could immediately identify with you … I myself have a master’s degree in counseling and I LOVE to write. I am so blessed to have read Audrey’s story and the impact she has had on this world. The way you see God in the everyday is awesome and how you are continually drawing close to him for your strength and peace.

    I will also be praying for your family at this amazingly difficult time – I also read your post about Luke and I am just blown away.

    Thanks again for sharing Audrey with us. She is precious gift from God.

  • WENDEE HOLTCAMP

    I came to this blog after searching for Nicol SPongberg after hearing of the loss of baby Luke on my local Christian radio station. I loved your entry here, so moving and powerful. It amazes me the way God makes these unreal “coincidences” happen – the way He speaks to us. I’m so sorry about your loss and about Nicol’s. There are simply no words. Just know I’m praying, and I’m glad you guys have one another. Sending lots of love and light. PS i love the pitcher! xoxo

  • Michelle

    Angie, Thanks for sharing this story. God gave me a vision of a pitcher being broken against an impenetrable wall over two years ago. We were waiting to get a “golden boy” out of jail.

    He has slowly allowed us to pick up the pieces of what we thought was a perfect story…we still look broken, but I know it is Him, the Potter who holds us together.

    Thanks for the added validation.

  • Anonymous

    I am speechless right now. Your faith and amazing insight are a true inspiration. I learned so much from reading your post…..and am now empowered to pick up the broken pieces in my heart and soul and put them back together with the guidance and support of God. Thank you.
    Carrie

  • Salmon Tolman Fam

    Angie,
    I just discovered your blog today, and have spent the last 3 hours completely engrossed in reading it all. It is now 3:30 in the morning. I want to thank you for your courage and faith and hope. I have been a Christian my entire life, but lost faith several years ago when several “trials” happened that I thought were too much to bear. I have been attending church, but haven’t had my heart where it needs to be. I haven’t said real prayers in a very long time, and after reading your blog, I have made a commitment to my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I will pray for you and your family at this difficult time in your lives, and I will pray with gratitude for the strength you have given to me as well. May God Bless You and Your Family. I weep with you and mourn with you and bless you with my comfort.

  • Found

    Angie, I found this post and your blog through Gina @ Chats with an old lady. I’m so glad I came here and took the time to read what you wrote. I’m fighting tears because my husband’s just around the corner and has no idea why anyone would cry from a blogpost! But I’m going to do just as you said.

    I also have read your posts about the loss of Luke and your own daughter. I’m praying and thanking God for what He’s doing through you all as He’s chosen you as His vessels even for such a tragic time as this.

    I’m a “flannel board Jesus” kid. And I think it’s even hard for us to see our brokenness and the beauty of Christ revealing Himself through our cracks. I’m so thankful for His grace and that He keeps piecing me together and breaking me where He must that He might be seen!

    thank you!
    sheila

  • NeverEnoughTime

    As I sit with tears in my eyes, I know talking about. Thank you for the picture of your picher put back together. I jusyt had a long talk with my mentor about the way God has reconciled my life and that He chose to love me amazes me daily!
    I have a cast on one hand right now, so please excuse the typos….
    thank you for sharing with us.

  • Cheryl

    Wow! What an awesome visual. Wow!

  • Micaela

    Thank you so much for your honest and genuine sharing. I have only just been introduced to your blog and saw your story on youtube and cannot even tell you how much you have touched me and how much my faith is impacted by the sharing of your faith. You truly are amazing.
    Micaela
    Duarte, CA

  • Grateful for Grace

    I hesitate to post this because you have so many comments… it will be lost, but I simply have to. A dear friend who became a widow at the age of 36 sent me the link to this post.
    I wept.
    I couldn’t stop.
    Then I proceeded to read your entire blog.
    I wept and wept.
    What a beutiful, painful, heart-wrenching, glorious testimony of faith and who He is. I am grateful to have read this. I will never forget this story and will keep reading.
    I have prayed for you and will continue to do so as God brings you and your family to mind.
    Thank you for being willing to bear your heart and your heartache.
    I know deep down that there will be people in heaven who will point to this blog as the way the Christ became real to them. I just know that there will be more than one person who will find eternal life as a result. What greater thing could there be?

    in Him Alone,
    Grateful for Grace

  • Erin

    This was an amazing post. Please visit my blog when you get a chance and read about Catherine Marie. perhaps you can offer my friend Katie some advice. Thank you for your words, and love for the almighty wonderful God!

  • TTidmore

    I just stumbled upon your blog a few days ago. I read the whole thing over the weekend and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Your story is heartbreaking, your words are incredible, and your faith is amazing. I have learned that I need to be more in tune with the Lord and the Holy Spirit. That he can speak through life changing events and children’s voices. That scars are painful and come with a price, but can be used to glorify God. It made me count my blessings again, and ask for forgiveness for often taking them for granted. Thanks for being so open. I pray our God continues to heal your family and bless this ministry that Audrey has left with us.

    Taylor Tidmore
    Columbia, MO

  • Tammy

    Angie,
    I am not very good with words, but here is one, WOW. God is so very good and faithful isn’t he. A friend of mine told me about your blog. Because I am a bit OCD, I had to go back to the beginning and read it all in order. I feel like I have just read a really good book. The kind you can’t put down. The kind that pulls every emotion out of you. I have cried and laughed. To steal a quote from Steel Magnolias, “laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” Thank you for being so transparent. I will pray for you, and I can’t wait to meet you! :)
    In Him,
    Tammy Hildebrand
    Georgia

  • Mark, Rebecca and Sophia

    Oh my how lovely this post is. Thank you. This is an image that I will not soon shake.

  • Rosheeda

    I’ve read your blog a few times and I have yet to comment, but I have to tell you that your heart touches a place deep inside me. This imagery is so precious, and I am going to BUY a piece of pottery so that I can smash it and talk with the Lord. I will post on my blog soon. Your heart and your openness is a true blessing. I appreciate your sharing, in a very personal way.

    blessings to you and your family.

  • libby @ ninesandquines

    thank you so much. i know exactly the piece i am going to shatter and glue back together. and i will send you a picture after i am done….thank you for giving us all that you do…

  • Marsha

    Thank you for your beautiful post and for sharing your heart. I hate my imperfections– there are SO many. And yet He still chose me just the way I am. I needed to hear that more than you could ever know.

  • The Jones Family

    I have chill bumps. Your testamony is powerful. Thank you so much for sharing it!

  • Monkey’s Mommy

    I have yet to make my “new art” but wanted to tell you how much this post has spoken to me. Days after I’ve read it I find it coming to mind. And even told a dear friend about it a few nights ago as she exclaimed how she was so frustrated she could just break something. I don’t remember just how I found your blog, but want you to know that your posts give me pause, make me think and remind me of just how great God’s love truly is.

  • Sarah

    All I can muster right now is a thank you. I needed to hear this…I needed to hear it today. Thank you!
    Sarah

  • Katy Lin :)

    this is absolutely beautiful, thank you so much for sharing your pain and healing with us. praise the Lord!

  • Amy

    I have visited your blog a couple of times, but this is the first time that I really broused around and read several post. Including this one. Wow. The Lord is working through you right here, right now! I too didn’t grow up in church, I have many regrets and hurts and scars. I have known the Lord for 12 years but only the last 2 really getting close to him and serving him. I tell you though during these last 2 years he has convicted me of things in my past that I had yet bring to the cross and ask forgiveness of.
    This post really spoke to me. You are now in my favs and I will be returning for blessings!

  • Jessica

    What is the title of the book?

  • Genny

    I’ll see if I can type past the tears….

    I found your site through Angela’s. I’m so glad. Thank you for your honest, heart-wrenching post. You have reminded me of the power of God, the power of prayer, and the healing power of Jesus. Thank you!

  • created2teach

    Angie,
    I grew up in a family who had relationships with the Lord, and it never ceases to amaze me to see the hand of God on people’s lives, whether they got to know Him at the age of 7 or 87. He has always had His hand on your life for a purpose. You are fulfilling that purpose nicely, I think. I cannot imagine your pain. Keep lifting Jesus! He will keep on pouring His love through you upon others. WOW! He is wonderful!

  • Ric Booth

    Hi Angie,

    I love, love this post. A good friend referred me to this particular post after reading one of my recent poems, Broken Vessels,

    http://ricbooth.wordpress.com/2008/07/10/broken-vessels/

    I see now why.

  • Beth@Sportsmomma

    I wanted to ask if you would mind if I share this post as a devotion for our women’s council at church? It is a beautiful story and one that we all need to take part in!!!

  • hislifeformine

    Finally I broke my pitcher. Thank you for sharing your story. I did as you at first, when I first read the post I thought ‘phooey’ but reading on you inspired me. I knew when the time was right, there were other things yet to transpire between May and Aug 8 that needed to be incorporated into this process.
    Thank you Angie!

  • Lady-in-the-Making

    This is the most unbelievable blog I have ever read.

    I have spent most of my workday on this blog. I found you from http://thenaplespaiges.blogspot.com/. They just lost their newborn son. My husband works with Christian’s father.

    Anyway – WHO ARE YOU?!? You don’t have to post this comment on your blog but I am STAGGERED at your story. I cannot believe the things I have read on your blog about Audrey and Luke.

    Listen, I’ve been a Christian for 15 years and I have NEVER seen the Word of God lived out as I have seen it in your life. You are simply an AMAZING witness to Christ.

    I am deeply hurting over your pain and I will pray for you.

  • justme

    My friend recently pointed me to this blog as I was explaining to her of the mosaic I am making. I felt like I had all these bowls of pain, not from my own making, but I had to deal with them anyway. We recently had two miscarriages in 2 months after many years of waiting for a child. (And that was just one of the bowls). I’ve served the Lord since childhood and believe that he does exchange our ashes for His beauty. I told my friend that I’m going to take a ball bat and smash a set of bowls. Then I plan on making a beautiful mosaic table out of the pieces. That reminded her of your story…and me of Isaiah 61:3

    Here’s another tidbit I wanted to share….

    Elizabeth Elliot once wrote:

    “If your life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a multitude, when a loaf would satisfy only a little lad.”

  • http://profiles.google.com/rebekah.hebert Rebekah H.

    wow. wow. wow wow wow.

    thank you for these words angie. you have no idea how they touched me. blessings to you my dear.