12.02.02

One of the best days of my life, no question.
So many of you have emailed/posted to ask about my sweet miracles Ellie and Abby, and it means the world to me that you care enough to ask. I just poured a cup of hot tea (thank you, Kristin), the house is quiet, and it still smells like a home-cooked meal (I haven’t cooked in weeks…progress!)  I thank God for these simple moments, where normalcy sneaks up on me.  I sat with the girls as they fell asleep, and I thought about a time, not so long ago, when we didn’t know if we would get to have them in this life.  I am a terrible at keeping journals (although I have a full stash of fresh, beautiful ones in my kitchen drawer…I have an addiction to buying pretty notebooks), and I don’t (everyone, prepare to gasp!) scrapbook.  No, seriously.  I get stressed out because there are too many options…brads, paper-crimpers, stamps, special pens…I am sweating as I type.  I can barely buy shampoo without spending 10 minutes smelling them all.  So, this is a great way to talk about my life and have something to look back on years from now.  And it’s just black and white and true. I love that.  
A little background…Todd and I were married on August 26th, 2001, just before 9/11.  We found out in December that we were expecting our first baby, and we were shocked.  I was only about 7 or 8 weeks along when I miscarried, but it was long enough to fall in love with the baby. I have vivid memories of standing in the bathroom of our little apartment brushing my hair and crying tears of joy because I was going to be someone’s mommy.  It wasn’t meant to be. I wasn’t where I am now with the Lord, and to be honest, I felt like I had been abandoned. I went to the library and checked out a book about miscarriage, crying and clinging to it every night.  In March, I was on the road with Todd in Maryland and I told him I thought I was pregnant again.  I went to the store and bought a test, and when I got back to the hotel I said, “You know if I’m pregnant, you are never going to forgive yourself for not coming to Walgreens with me.” We laughed and I walked into the bathroom.  Todd says I walked out about 10 seconds later with a huge smile.  He also said he should have gone to Walgreens. 
I checked out a book on being pregnant, and walked on eggshells for a few weeks waiting to see what would happen.
At our first ultrasound, we were staring at the screen to see a heartbeat, and Susanna kept saying, “You see it, Todd? Right here.” He looked confused.  I told him he could tell us if he didn’t see it; he didn’t need to be embarrassed about it.  He told us that he did see the heartbeat, but he was wondering what this other flickering was.  
Susanna moved the ultrasound wand up a little on my tummy and there they were.  Two little heartbeats.  I screamed.  
I went back to the library (same check out girl) and got a couple books on twins.  She smiled at me and laughed.
“Quite a year you’re having, honey!” She scanned the books and told me about her twin cousins, who, based on her description, are probably in prison by now. She thought it was hilarious.  I thought I was going to puke on the counter.
In late September, I went to Alaska with Todd for some concerts.  I felt uncomfortable, but I figured that it was part of pregnancy, so I didn’t really think much of it.  We had a great trip, and when I got home (I was 24 1/2 weeks along), Dr. Trabue said he thought that even though everything was going well, he thought I should have another ultrasound.  I know that was the voice of God, and I am convinced that we would not have them if he had not been obedient to this prompting.  It was a terrible day.  Many of the feelings I had with Audrey’s ultrasound were bad memories from this one.  The sweet man started the scan, and instantly, his face dropped.  He told us that something was wrong, and I started shaking.  I asked him if they were alive. Actually, I think I told him to tell me they were alive.  I will never, never forget what he said.
“They are alive right now.”
The supervisor came in and explained what was going on.  Basically, I was dilated more than the size of their heads, and my bag of water was “exposed.” My cervix was about 3 mm (if you are in this business, or have any experience with this, you know that this is bad…really bad). They barely let me stand up to go to the car.  We went straight to the hospital.  There were a couple days in there where they weren’t sure what was going on, because my cervix looked normal…it turned out that it was changing constantly, and depending on the exact minute they did the scan, it either looked normal or horrendous.  They told me I needed to check myself in and plan on being there until I delivered. One of the first nights I was there, a nurse came in and found me crying.  I told her I wanted the truth about what they thought was going to happen to my babies.  She was incredibly sweet, but she explained that they were both well under a pound, and on “the cusp of viability.” I remember the words.  I remember the smell of hospital soap.  I remember that I already loved them so much that I fought every minute I could to have them.
It turned out to be a lot of minutes.  Ten weeks to be exact.
I was on magnesium sulfate for three and a half weeks (the stuff is nasty…I hallucinated that my IV pole was a robot and told Audra to let the trick-or-treaters in one night…she told me she loved me, put on a Jim Brickman CD, and turned off the lights).  I was on  a lot of medication to keep me out of labor, including a pump thing that I had to inject myself with.  Time passed slowly, slowly.  I was really scared and depressed, and I want to tell you something else, because we are all friends here, and I think you should know.
I hardly ever opened my Bible.
I believed in Him.  The whole story.  I loved Him fully, but I learned to keep Him at arm’s length in the event that He let me down.  I hate that part of the story, and if I could do it over…well, I can’t.  I just have to know that He pursued me even when I acted like a jilted bride. He wanted me when I didn’t want Him.  He taught me about Himself, even as I resisted loving Him back.  I am forever grateful for the tenderness He showed me during that time, and the grace He showed me when I came running back with remorse in my heart.  
At 34 1/2 weeks, they had to send me home because my insurance wouldn’t pay for me to be there anymore.  I went home, and a few days later they let me stop taking some of my medication and I went into labor.  I pushed twice and Anna Elisabeth was welcomed into the world.  Two minutes and one push later, Abigail Grace followed. At 4.11 and 3.11 respectively, they were really tiny. Abby wouldn’t cry when she was born and they were worried about her so they whisked her away before I could see her.  They brought Ellie to me and I squeezed her and kissed her and smelled her and just loved her completely.  
Abby was in the NICU for almost 3 weeks, trying to get her weight up.  She kept having “spells” where she would stop breathing and they would have to keep her for a few more days. Todd and I brought Ellie home and about 10 minutes after we set down her baby carrier, he left to go on his Christmas tour.  I would nurse Ellie, pump, drive to the hospital, nurse Abby, pump, nurse Ellie, go home….and on and on. I felt so divided.  My husband was gone, my baby was in the hospital, and Ellie was with me.  I cried every night dreaming about when we would be together, praying Abby would be with us for Christmas (she was).
I want to tell you more, to tell you who they are and how many ways God has blessed us through their miracle, but I know it’s late, and my tea has gotten cold. 
Another day, right?
I also want to take this opportunity to thank the incredibly kind Tippa, who bid almost $600 on a purse that she will never carry.  She actually lives in Belgium, and I have truly been blessed getting to know her heart.  She asked me to keep Coco, although I had already taken it to be mailed when I got her email (it had gone into my “junk” folder, so I almost deleted it). Todd ran to the UPS store and they were really confused, but handed the box back to him. I cried when I read her words to me, not so much because of the purse (although I am blessed by that generosity), but because God showed up in her kindness. I am going to The Hope Clinic on Friday with a check that I have no doubt God will use for His glory.  Tippa, may you be blessed in return (you and I both know what we’re praying for!!!! Quickly, Lord!!! :) )
I also want to tell you that it is great to “know” you all.  I want you to know that I read what you write, and it matters to me.
Lastly, I want to ask for your prayer for a friend of mine who is early on in her pregnancy and praying that God will bless her with a healthy baby…there are some complications, and I covet your thoughts on her behalf.  I will keep you posted when I have her permission, but for tonight, know that there is a woman with life growing within her, and she is asking the Lord the same thing I did almost 6 years ago…may God bless her as richly as he did me, and may He be glorified in the midst of it.
Love and thanks,
Angie

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  • Bethany

    Thank you, Angie for the story. Thanks for your raw honesty. Thanks for your story…it reaches many, touches tons and makes us all think. Prayers for you, my friend.

  • AllyZabba

    Thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for the example that you are to the world. I read your posts and I pray that someday I can have the same courage & devotion that you do. Thank you for building into my life. Thank you for showing me the kind of wife, mother & friend that I long to be. God bless you and your family Angie.

  • Mark and Niki

    I go from never commenting on your blog to 3 in one night. Thank you so much for sharing. I am praying for your friend tonight. I know that uncertainty all too well. Praying for her miracle.

  • txmomx6

    Thank you Angie. It brought back memories of my own identical girls and that pregnancy. They are now beautiful 21 year olds.

  • Matt and Cristin

    Angie,
    Your heart is so precious. I have come to tears so many times as I have read your story. God is truly AWESOME!! My husband and I are expecting our first precious little miracle and we are thrilled! I look forward to reading again! Thank you for sharing and being so transparent!

  • Ivy

    Hi Angie, I have finally caught up with your story and want to thank yo for sharing your story with us. its beautiful and be reading your words its been made even clearer to me that God’s beauty shines brightest when we make it through the rain.

    Thank you. I hope its okay I have added a link to your blog from mine.

    I’ll be keeping up with you regularly from now on!

  • Wendy

    Thank you for sharing the story of your twins. Every life is a miracle.
    I have been moved, touched, and blessed every time I read your blog. Thank you for giving us all a peek into the life God has blessed you with.
    Blessings on you and your’s,
    Wendy @ gritsgirl722@blogspot.com

  • Cindy

    Again, I sit and am breathless as I read and write. You share your heart so freely. Your life so fully. Thank you again for your transparency. I am trying to learn. I wonder why it is so difficult for me?! My heart aches and rejoices at the same time. I continue to pray not only for you but for those you have mentioned in your blog writings. What an impact on the world!!!
    Blessings to you with love.
    Cindy ~ Phoenix

  • Miss X

    Hi Angie, I’ve been reading your blog since I found it on The Celebrity Baby Blog. I’ve passed it on to many people.

    Thanks for sharing your story. It has inspired me to share my story (though not about losing a child, still full of pain).

    I’m thrilled you are keeping Coco. I wished I had the $ so that I could bid & let you keep your purse. I didn’t even pray about it, but God knows my heart. Isn’t it great to know we have a God who understands our hearts so much that he blesses us with pretty things like Coach purses?

  • MandieGirl

    Angie-

    I just want you to know that you [and your cute girls] are so precious to me. I am so blessed by you and your friendship.

    *thank you*

  • Sue

    I was reading through the comments on your last blog and commenting myself when I decided to take one more look before I went to bed. I was so excited that you posted again! For a minute I actually thought that I might be the first to get to comment on this post. Ill have to settle for 4th or more.LOL

    But seriously thank you again for your inspiration and your honesty.

    I am going to pray for you, Nicol and Greg and The Chapmans right now before I go to sleep.

    Sue

  • Brett and Sarah Garner

    Angie,
    You have an absolutely beautiful spirit about you. The Lord is using you as his instrument to bless the lives of so many others! There truly can be no better tribute to the life of little Audrey than to let her life be the means to help others come to know the love and healing hands of the Lord! Your strength amazes me. Your posts always uplift me, however this one was especially touching to me. My little Savannah went to Heaven in February, she was also still born (at 35 weeks). I too have felt the healing hands of the Lord in my life and so many blessings have come to my family from her short life. However, it is comforting to hear the story of your twins. I needed a reminder that (when it is the Lords will) we do get our miricle! I do believe that the Lord has a much greater plan for each of us than we could ever even imagine, but it’s only human to hurt since we don’t get the benefit of his eternal perspective! I am positive our little angels are serving Him together right now, and will be waiting for us with open arms one day! Thank you for blessing the lives of so many!

  • stephanie

    Angie, thank you so much for inviting us into this part of your life. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable, making you that much more of a real friend/person to relate to. Your posts are changing lives! Its been so neat to be a part of it and watch it all. God is so great…. you’re continually in my prayers.

  • Mommy

    Hi Angie- the pic of the girls is soooo cute, know that i will be praying for your friend, I Pray that God be with her, during my last pregnancy i had to go on bed rest at 17 weeks and went into labor several times too early and the hospital kept telling me that i would have to face it that i would probly not carry my son, but with bed rest lots of love and care from a great dr. and prayer , i carried my son to 34 weeks, we did have a very complicated delivery we lost him 3 times, and due to trama during delivery we have some issues that we are dealing with, but i have been blessed with 2 wonderful boys, and I know that prayers work.. We will be praying for her tonight along with your sweet family have a great night*** congrats on Coco
    tiffany, Nashville

  • Scott

    Thank you for sharing your heart Angie. I know my wife and I are amazed at how God continually uses you as a minister through your words. I know the feeling of leaving your twin babies in the NICU all to well. Praise God that your twins are healthy and obviously a continual blessing to you!

    God Bless,
    Scott Asbell

  • Sara

    Oh sweet Angie… you write in a way that makes me feel like I was sitting there with you though it all. Amazing. I will pray for your friend, and want you to know that I don’t think God wants you to waste a moment of your life feeling guilt or sheepishness for not always knowing Him fully. I think He’s shaking his head as He reads your words, because He knew before you kept Him at arms length that you would, and He knew before you ran back to Him that His arms would already be open. No shame needed… no regret necessary. He only wants you to find joy in the chaos. And then He will have joy with you. I love how God works that way. Lovingly.

  • Anothermadhousewife

    Angie, You are an amazing story teller. You may already know this about yourself, but I so enjoy reading what you post.

    I read your blog about the purse to my 11 yr old daughter and started crying so hard I could barely speak. I tried to explain to her, that the words of someone who has lost a child have such weight (such gravitas). When you say that everything belongs to the Lord, and He may ask you to give things up, you KNOW of what you speak. I don’t know if she came away seeing how profound your words were or just thinking Mama was a basket case. ;)

    But know that I adore your writing. I always desire to be theologically accurate and write profound things, but I know that without love all of that is meaningless. So I have always appreciated that your writing is so full of beautiful truths, but you are also so obviously full of Christ’s love. . . and I have come to love you as a sister in Christ.

    Wow, I didn’t intend for that to be so long. But in light of your recent mention of wanting to know us, I thought I’d post a link to my blog: http://www.xanga.com/Anothermadhousewife.

    Erika and the Whites :)

  • Kristen Schiffman

    I cannot tell you enough of the grace and humility of Christ that rests upon you. I LOVE reading your blog, I rarely comment, but I am praying. For You. Your sister in law. Your pain.

    Your heart is one of the most beautiful I’ve encountered.

    And you are a Coach girl to boot! lol.

  • Lynn

    We have a lot in common…I was married on August 26, although just a few years before you were (okay a LOTTA years…1976). Found out in December (well actually I think it was early New Years Day) that I was pg with my first child (after 3+ years of the Lord saying “no”). I lost my last child to miscarriage and in a way I think it was much easier. Losing your first….and now sweet Audrey, too…
    Praying for your friend. The Lord knows…
    Lifting up prayers right now!
    Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

  • Denise

    Your story is so vivid that I feel like I can actually feel your memories.

    When I was 23w5d pregnant with my son, my water broke. I spent 10 weeks in the hospital away from my 3 year old and every day hoping and praying that our son would make it. I stayed pregnant for 9 weeks and 2 days.

    The hospital stay was horrendous. While I had great nurses, wonderful doctors and the most amazing husband, the magnesium sulfate, the hospital stay and being completely out of control was harder than I ever imagined.

    10 weeks after his birth, he passed away from SIDS. If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. The time was well worth it.

    It takes an incredibly amount of love and dedication to give your babies what you have. A wise woman recently told me something that helped get her through the rough nights: “While We were hoping for a lifetime of memories with him, I got his lifetime of memories with us. . . ”

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  • Christy

    Thank you for the story of your little miracles! We have an Elizabeth Ann, but we call her Ella! All of your girls are so precious, and I pray that they grow to love God as much as their parents do.
    As always, I am praying for you, Nicol and Greg, and will now pray for God’s blessings on your friend’s pregnancy.

  • Gina

    Hi, My name is Gina.
    I have read your blog for many weeks but have been afraid to leave a comment. I thought I would feel like a fraud because although I have experienced loss I didn’t think it compared to all you have been through. Having seen the many comments from people in all walks of life I now feel It’s ok to say “Hi” and tell you how much your writing has meant to me.
    The first night I sat down and read your blog I cried and cried until I thought my heart would break. It brought me right back to the day I had my 10 week scan on my third baby and was told it had died sometime the previous week. It was a pregnancy I hadn’t been ready for as it happened so soon after the birth of my second baby. I was feeling overwhelmed with trying to look after a busy toddler and a crawling baby but by the time I went for my scan I was calm and ready to be a Mum of three. At the scan I was told the baby had died. I felt as though my heart was going to crush under the guilt of loosing a pregnancy I had not truly wanted but now did more than anything else. I spent the next few months torn with guilt that I had not deserved the baby and that was why God had not let me keep it. I knew no-one who had gone through a similar experience. Many helpful people told me it must be for the best, the baby was probably unwell, it was “Gods will” I didn’t understand why God would will me to go through such pain. They were well meaning but they didn’t let me grieve for a child, just a pregnancy, a small bump, not as important as a “real” child. We never found out if we had lost a boy or a girl. My husband was supportive but felt I should get on with things and not really tell the world about our loss. He didn’t want to try for another baby, he didn’t want to risk putting our family through such grief again. I felt I couldn’t move on without having a third baby to cuddle, cherish and love. I booked a spontaneous flight over to my Mum in Dublin for a week with my two little girls to visit for a break and only then realised I had booked my trip so that I was away from my husband for the baby’s due date. I wanted to cancel the trip but he persuaded me not to. I didn’t realise there would be a good reason for it. My Mum tried hard to understand what I was going through but I knew from her face she struggled to understand the full extent of my grief. It was my Mum who heard about a special mass in a local church that was going to be on one night during my trip. It was a mass for all women who had lost a child or baby, no matter how early in the pregnancy. Mum tentatively suggested we should go together. It was her way of wanting to acknowledge my loss. When I heard the date of the mass I shook with tears. It was my baby’s due date. I went to the church and cried my way through the service. It was beautiful. A celebration of all these babies who were still missed, loved and cherished, some many, many years after they had died. Every Mum there was given a candle and told to write their babies name on it and light it at the alter. All I could do was write “Baby Baynham” During the service my Mum broke down in tears. It was the first time she showed true grief for the loss of our baby, her un-known grandchild, and I think it was the first time she truly understood it in that way. All through the mass I begged God “Let me have one more baby” let me have one more chance. I promised to love it, never to complain about being tired, never to moan about a messy house, just one more chance to make up for all the guilt I had carried for these months. He answered my prayers. I did not know it but that night I was already pregnant with our healthy son Gareth. Time mended a lot of the raw hurt that I went through that year. It wrapped it up in a soft blanket and buried it in my heart. Not forgotten but not raw and bubbling to the surface unexpectedly, until I read you blog of course. Then the tears once again ran down my face and I cried until I could not catch my breath and my chest ached. I cried for my baby I had lost and for you and your family who were going through your own personal sorrow. I read how much you trust in God and accept his ways and still manage to reach out and offer comfort to other Mums in a similar position to you. You find the positive in all that has happened to you. I feel like you are a friend and yet until now you won’t have even known I exist. Thank you for writing your blog. For re-kindling memories and feelings in me, some sad, some happy and for making me stop and think more deeply about my faith. Every time I read another of your up-dates I pray for you and all the people who you mention in your blog that are going through now what I went through 6 years ago. I hope that the prayers I say now are my way of paying back the blessings that God has given me in my wonderful husband, my three happy healthy kids and my little angel who I know is in heaven being cared for by all the wonderful friends and family that have gone before me.
    Thank you Angie.
    From Gina xo

  • Nichole

    Thank you soo much for sharing this part of your life with us.

    I sat on the same row with you on the KT and friends cruise (during a concert)…I watched Ellie and Abby.. (and sweet Kate) “bop” along with the music…
    Angie you were (and) are so brave..your radiance was shinning though even then. I will ALWAYS cherish the memory of you with your girls, Audrey included.

    You are a blessing, you are beautiful!

    Nichole

  • Tabaitha Kaye

    Ok, I have an obsession with notebooks and journals too! I journaled like crazy in High School, but then life got busy and my blog is the closest thing I get to journaling. I also have a thing about planners, but that is a whole other story.

  • Stacy

    Although I am a faithful reader of your blog(and Jessica’s too)I haven’t commented before because I know you get so many of them and it has to be terribly difficult to keep up with them all. You are a beautiful writer and I am always eager for a new post. Thanks for sharing your stories with us about Audrey and now the twins. I was excited to see Anna Elisabeth spelled with an “s”. My Emma Elisabeth is also with an “s”, which is a family name and I rarely, if ever, see it spelled that way as it’s typically with a “z”. I’m sure it’s silly to connect with such a thing as to how a name is spelled, but for whatever reason, it made me feel the urge to comment! :-)

  • Kristen

    Thank you for sharing. You are an amazing woman of God. I really want to get there, but feel I fail Him often. Will be praying for your friend.

  • Rachel

    Thanks for sharing the “beginning” of your girls with us. I adore the photo of them… I absolutely love that all of it is out of focus except for the hand on her sister. Just adorable.

    My husband didn’t got with me to Walgreen’s either. He wanted me to wait a few days, I couldn’t. So I took the dog – our Siberian Husky. :) It was + & it is now “Brett”, our 1st of 3.

    I’m amazed by Tippa. What a generous soul.

    I continue to pray for you… and thank you for sharing the prayers & letting us know who [& how] else to pray for. You are “spreading the wealth”.

    - Rachel in Kansas City

  • Eric and Michelle

    Praying for your friend tonight. You brought back so many memories in my life tonight. We also lost our first baby to miscarriage.I also know a little of what you went through with the twins. With my second son I was medicated for a good bit of my pregnancy stopping labor. My third son was born septic and hospitalized for a while after birth. All the doctor could tell me was babies like him got better some of the time. The antibiotics they gave him could have caused hearing loss but he is a healthy thriving boy with all his senses today.

    Blessings!
    Michelle
    http://www.journeytomercy.blogspot.com

  • tara

    thank-you for your words tonight angie. i needed to hear so many of them. i am a christian wife and mother that too loves the Lord with my whole heart. but, i haven’t been loving him with my whole life. not with my prayers, and not with my reading Gods’ word. i want and need to get back on track for my marriage, for our little boy, for the baby i long to carry next.
    for me. and my walk with the Lord.
    thank-you again for sharing yourself and part of your beautiful story. you are reaching and touching sooo many readers. so many families. i want you to know that your girl friends are so blessed to have you as a sister in Christ. i would give anything to have a friend like you.
    Have a blessed day!
    tara in maryland

  • mama2lsa

    Angie,

    I don’t seem to be able to read any of your words with out tears flowing. My heart aches for you, and all other mothers, who have to suffer, the terrible pain of losing a child.

    Everytime I read your words it’s like a balm on my wounds. It stings at first but then His healing words (flowing from you) touch me at the very heart of my hurt.

    My loss was 2 and 1/2 years ago, and her name was Sophia Grace, which means wisdom and grace. And my prayer has been that through losing her I will gain wisdom, in whatever form that may take. And to show grace just as I myself was shown grace from our Lord and Savior. You are helping me on that journey of gaining WISDOM and showing GRACE! Thank you.

    Blessings,
    Kim

  • The Torgerson’s

    I have emailed you in the past. At that point I had not read the whole entire blog because it was too painful. I have now read and re-read your blog numerous times. I love it! I learn something differnt each time I read. I loved this post. I love twins. I know how very special they are. How very unique they are. The bond they share. I know that the bond that mine shared was so strong and they couldn’t live without each other and so they were reunited. I love seeing pictures of them together. That is actually what I first saw when I looked at you blog. I thought awe she has twins too. Then I came to the realization that you had lost a baby too. I realization that I hate to realize. Pain that I hate to see someone else have to face. You are a remarkable women. I was once told “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” You definatly have become stronger from your trials. Thank You…..

  • SommerNyte

    What a lovely post about your girls. I also have twins (boys) who were born at 31 weeks (3.11 and 4.7), so I can relate to so much of what you went through.

    Anyhow, I wanted to let you know I gave you a blogging award and emailed you about it, but I guess you never got my email. Let me know if I should re-send it.

  • Lynn

    Thank you so much for adding that line “… and I hardly ever opened my bible…” because there have been those very difficult times in my life when I was drained and felt void of His presence and like David in his “cave years”, just tried to survive by my own wits, feeling God had turned away from me. I suppose we all have those very dry times in our lives. Somehow I am comforted when I hear that others have experienced the dry times. I am not alone in the desert.

    I know that God is with me, whether I sense Him here or not… but it is comforting when He shows Himself through others – His love with skin on as I like to say. : )

    Thank you sweet one, for being willing to be just that – His love with skin on.

    BLESS YOU ALL..
    Another stranger-friend
    Lynn
    P.S. Won’t heaven be WONDERFUL when we can all meet face to face and be strangers no more!

  • KELLY

    I laughed and cried. I, too, do not scrapbook because it’s too overwhelming, and I, too, must smell every shampoo in the aisle…you know, they might have added a new scent or changed the one I used and loved. It’s happened.

    I was blessed by the story of Abby and Ellie. What a gift they are and God’s sovereign hand was/is upon them! I love how God pursues us when we are sometimes the most resistant to all he has for us.

    God bless Tippa’s kindness and generosity!

    Praying for Greg, Nicol, you and your sweet family and your friend with a miracle within her. Praying for the health of her little one!

  • Julie

    WOW, a three with a bag coming through is bad. Praise God that he knew before time about Abby and Ellie and blessed you with them.

    I have been struggling with staying in the word lately. I am really jolted by your words and it is almost as if God wrote them to me. It is something that has been eating at me, I have been reading a devotional but that’s about it. Pray for me tomorrow that I will dig deep.

  • joyfulmom

    Angie,

    I’ve been reading your blog for sometime now and haven’t responded yet. I think you are simply a beautiful child of God. You’ve touched my heart in so many ways.

    I think what touched me the most is that my son was in NICU, too, and wasn’t expected to live. We did the bedrest, Terbutaline, Mag/Sulfate washes, too. I remember once my husband laughed at me because I was so out of it from the mag/sulfate that my speech was slurring. He said, “You could be a character on a Cheech and Chong movie!” LOL!

    I recently posted a small bit of my son’s story on my blog the other day when he turned 6. We lost our first baby, had a wonderful blessing with our first daughter, and then our world turned upside down with Matthew’s birth. I don’t remember much about reaching for my Bible either, but I knew God was there. I felt Him. He carried me.

    Thanks for being so transparent with your faith. I know it’s hard to do with some of the negative comments that can come in, but I think you’re precious. Thank you for being a blessing.

    Hugs from El Paso,
    Karla
    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/psalm113v9

  • Meg

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and important time in your life.
    I will be praying for your friend. Hopefully she finds comfort in others praying for even if she doesn’t know them.

  • Jen

    Angie, thank you for that story *smile* And I am so glad you’ve still got Coco. I was praying that you would.

    How come Ellie became..well, Ellie, instead of Anna? Was that always the intention?

    Cant’ wait to hear more of your heart. (Especially when I’m there on the couch next to you gass-bagging with a cup of tea going cold also *wink*)

  • Jess

    Dear Angie,

    My first thought that comes to mind is if you have ever been to a Sephora? Talk about smelling shampoos! It’s a lot to take in so I’m not sure how you would like it but I love it! So many beauty products! Of course, I’m a lover of all things hair stuff, makeup, skin stuff, etc.

    Okay, not really where I wanted to go with this… I just want to de-lurk (finally) and let you know that your testimony about Audrey Caroline has inspired me to reblog again about my lifetime with anxiety. My only hope is that I will be able to help as many people as you have come closer to God and not feel so alone in this big world.

    Thank you so much for sharing the story of Ellie and Abby. It’s truly amazing that God is there for us even when we don’t open the Bible…

    And from one Coach fan to another: I love you and have been praying for you (insert favorite bible verse here) okay. it’s Jeremiah 29:11 It’s the only verse that has kept me holding on when I’ve felt a longing to just let go.

    Enough about me. Though please feel free to view my blog and comment http://jlprice421.blogspot.com

    In Christ,
    Jessica Price
    Charlottesville. VA

  • whitennerdy

    Thank you for sharing this story. Every day I check your blog and am always so excited to read your latest entry. I get such peace from reading your words. I am going to send you an e-mail.

    Sarah Jones

  • ginger

    you’re stories are amazing. God is so awesome! as I read your post, it took me back to the days when we found out we were having twins….I was 22 weeks and had no idea there was a baby “b”! Obviously there was a problem, one of the babies just wasn’t growing….we began to pray that God would boost her growth, they were taking via c-section and we saw Gods’ hand moving! Baby b, Sarah Grace stopped breathing numerous times , and was placed in the NICU for a few days and then brought home on the Apnea….I’ll e-mail you rest but I’ll end with this You can see God’s humor…Baby B who wasn’t growing is now 1/5 inch taller and 6 pounds bigger! PRAISE THE LORD!

  • Truly Blessed

    Dear Angie,
    I’m not sure if you’ve gotten my letter by now or not, but if so, it’s me…Mary H. :) Reading about your twins brought to mind my pregnancy with the triplets. The fear, the hospital stay, that nasty magnesium sulfate. I only lasted about a week and they had to take the babies. I went into congestive heart failure from the medication. Thank the Lord, we all made it through. The babies weighed 5`4, 4`4 and 3`10. They all stayed in the NICU for a couple of weeks, then one came home, one stayed in the NICU and one went to Scottish Rite for surgery. What a crazy time that was. Getting them all home together was such a relief (we had 2 little sisters waiting at home for all of us….5yrs and 3yrs). God saw us through every minute, just as He has you. Thank you for sharing your story. I love reading your blog. You have such a gift for writing. Your words touch the soul.
    Hey, I’m so tickled to hear you get to keep Coco! Sweet!

    Wishing you a day of happiness. :)

  • Lynsey

    There’s something about twins that makes me just giggle…my friend has twin girls and they are the funniest little people when talking to eachother. I just love to watch them.
    Thanks for posting this.
    Lynsey

  • Stacy D

    This was a beautiful post.

    If you happen to read this comment, I would love to get in touch with you. I wish that Tuesday, June 17 had been a great day in my life and in the life of my baby, but it wasn’t.

    We had our marathon day at Children’s National Medical Center where we had a whole battery of tests done. (I am currently 20 weeks pregnant). I wish that I had some positive news to report. In some ways I do. The cystic hygroma is gone, and the cardiologist said that she thinks the heart looks normal. It was still difficult from them to see all that they needed to.

    However, the overall report we received today was devestating. The omphalocele is much larger than they had thought. It not only includes the intestines and liver, but also the stomach and part of the bladder. In addition, a new problem arose. Our little boy’s spine has an extremely sharp curvature (about 90 degrees) forward, about midway down his back, though higher up then where your back typically bends. It is also bent sideways somewhat. There is also an issue with the spinal cord, something about it being teathered. Consequently, his lungs are extremely small and not developing normally. They are suspecting something called hypoplasia of the lungs.

    One of the difficulties with repairing an omphalocele with a normal spine and normal lungs can be breathing difficulties for the baby in the short term. However, with the underdeveloped lungs, the spine the way that it is, and the extremely small abdominal cavity, things do not look good. Although the omphalocele is fixable, the underdeveloped lungs and spine are not.

    When we asked the doctors point blank, they said that there’s a very strong likelihood that our little boy will die shortly after birth because his lungs would be too underdeveloped to allow him to breathe on his own.

    Needless to say, my husband Spencer and I are completely devastated and crushed. Although we knew this could be what we heard today, it wasn’t what we were expecting. We really were expecting God to show up in a big way. Maybe He has and I have yet to recognize it.

    If you would be willing to e-mail me at coolteacher79@yahoo.com I would really appreciate it. I have never known anyone personally who lost a child shortly after birth, and I have some questions that I am not sure anyone who hasn’t gone through something like this could answer.

    Thank you, Angie :)

    ~ Stacy

  • The Oldhams

    Hi Angie.

    25 years ago my mom gave birth to my brother and I at 6 months. We were both in the hospital for 3 months. The hospital staff told my mom we would not make it but mom kept telling them that it was in Gods hands. One night in the hospital room my mom started to pray and God spoke to her and told her she would take her babies home. Mom said from that point on she never worried and just smiled when the doctors would tell her bad news. My mom has told this story several times at different church functions and to friends to show the miracles God can do. Your story is truly one that shows how God cups us in his hands and never lets go!

    Don’t we serve an awesome God??

  • Qavah

    Thank you for confessing that you loved God but in your pain, kept him at arm’s length. I was so comforted by hearing that he pursued you with grace, and I believe that if he did that for you, he will do that for me as I struggle to come to Him.

    I’m also glad that you don’t have to lose your wonderful purse, but gained even more by giving it up in your heart. That is a beautiful allegory to Abraham’s obedience, though not the same scale, the same principle.
    Thank you for blessing me today.
    Kristen

  • kaycar

    So glad you got to keep your purse after all, thats so like our God, to ask us to offer our “Issacs”, then give them back- how cool!!
    carla

  • qUeEn oF tHe cAstLe

    Hey Angie…There is this site that turns your blog in to a book! You don’t HAVE TO be a scrapbooker!!! :) Here’s the link…

    http://www.blurb.com/create/book/blogbook

  • Just call me G

    I will be sending out love and light as requested that the lady you are praying for has her dreams realised.

    Your blog entries are awesome in every sense of the word.

    The photo of the twins at the end needs no scrapping… enough is said just with the pureness of the photo..

    Gxxx

  • Bridget =)

    again, thank you for sharing your story. once again, you remind me what a miracle pregnancy and life is, and what a miracle our Father’s love is.

  • Jenkins

    Thank you for sharing your story. The Lord’s words, spoken through you, continue to touch so many people.
    We will pray for your friend as well. I am mom to three boys, one born with severe brain abnormalities. We know how important each and every pray is. Our grief came in a different and unexpected way.

    Thank you for taking time to put your thoughts down for all of us to read.
    Carrie
    braydenandmommy.blogspot.com

  • hinesight

    Angie, I’m not a young woman any longer (that is, I’m old enough to know better), but I’m stumbling along in my walk with God like a sulky child. When I read your words, my unbelief falls away and I run back to my Father in repentance. Don’t think for a second that your gift is not being used; I thank our Lord for it every time I come here.

  • Gayle

    Thank you for sharing. I love the photo. You are having an impact on my life that I’m not sure I understand and I definitely don’t know what I’ll do with it, but for now I’ll just keep reading and soul searching. Maybe God will find me here, reading your kind words and take me and teach me.

  • Jenny

    Good morning Angie! I have been reading your blog for sometime now, but haven’t commented mainly because I just flat didn’t know what to say.

    I still don’t know exactly what to say, but I did want to tell you that I’m praying for you and your sweet family.

    Jenny

  • Kelly

    OH thank you for sharing!!!! I had been wondering about their story! What a scary, horrible time you had to go through but they are two beautiful blessings!!!!!
    I’ll pray for your friend – keep us updated.
    And I’m so glad for Tippa and that you get to keep Coco!!!

  • Robert and Kelli

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I find myself eager to read what you have written as I too am hodling God at arms length distance for a number of reasons. Your story continues to remind me that He is faithful.

  • Laura

    Your posts leave me in tears every time. Your way with words is a God-given talent.

    FYI… I hate to scrapbook but I love blogging… I download all my posts into a site called Blurb that compiles the whole year of pictures and stories for me.

    …looking forward to the rest of the twins story:)

  • Megan

    What a beautiful story. What little miracles. God is so good.

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    again i want to thank you for pouring your heart out… God has really used you to help to make sense of the maddness in my life. with three miscarriages under my belt and a horrible pregnancy and delivery of my sweet miracle baby, eli, who was unresponsive, blue, and had an apgar score of 0, all within the last year and a half. my heart goes out to you as you have had to deal with some very difficult things as a mommy. you know last night i had a dream about delivering at 24 weeks and 3 days and it scared me to death, i wanted to wake up but i couldnt and when i did it felt so real that i touched my stomach to make sure i wasnt living out this nightmare. i will certainly be praying for your dear friend. the picture of your sweet girls is beyond beautiful! enjoy them today!!!

  • Longmeadow Mama

    This is only the second time I’ve commented but wanted to let you know that you continue to touch my life. Thank you for your God inspired words that are impacting my life.
    Love and prayers,
    Kelli

  • Jessica

    Angie,

    I’ve been following Audrey’s story for a long time but have never commented….never felt like I had any words worth anything in the dark times you’ve been in. Know that I have kept your family in my prayers.

    Your words spoke volumes to me this morning. I am 9 weeks pregnant myself, with my first baby, and I’m feeling many of the things you speak of. I don’t want to let God too close, for fear that I might be let down. I’m scared and hopeful and excited….a whole whirlwind of emotions that won’t be calmed even in the quietest hours of the night.

    I thank you so much for your honesty in this post and always. You are ministering to so many people in so many different places in life, and Audrey’s story is making a difference. God bless you.

  • Jill

    God is so good to us – even amidst the hard times. Thanks for your on-going encouragement to each of us.

  • Blair

    Thank you for sharing. Both of my daughters were 5 weeks early. For my oldest, I had no signs of labor, my water just broke. But for my youngest, I was having contractions, my cervix was thin, the amniotic fluid level was low – I was a mess. I was on limited bed rest and made it to 34.5 weeks. She is doing great and has more rolls now than I can count!
    Funny coincidence, her middle name is Trabue! It is a family name on our side (it was my middle name too). I wonder if I am related to your doctor.

  • Shawnda

    Oh Angie! I just hang on your words! You need to write books – not blogs! : ) But I’m thankful you are writing a blog! : ) Thanks for sharing about these 2 precious little gifts from the Lord. He is faithful even when we are faithless – He was there in that hospital room, as you said, drawing your heart…grace abounds..and you are seeking Him today! Praise Him! Thanks for sharing His mercies continually!!!

  • Karina

    You are by far one of the most eloquent, sensitive people I have never met. To share the way you do must be hard, yet therapeutic. You amaze me, and I admire your God given strength.

  • Andrea

    I have been reading your story for months and look forward to checking your blog every day. Thank you for the encouragement. My bible too sat on a shelf for years untouched but now is getting well worn. But as I look back, it is so obvious how God was moving when at the time I couldn’t see it.
    Thanks for being so honest.

  • Amy

    Thank you for sharing their story. They are a wonderful blessing to you. Your faith is amazing. I look up to you so much.

  • Jody

    Thanks for sharing your story. I cried when I read the story about Abby and Ellie and I cried again when I read that Coco gets to stay. The photo is adorable.

  • Cheri

    You make me smile with love for the Lord.

  • Wendi

    Magnesium sulfate is this weird combination of miracle drug and pure evil…:) I was only on it for a week, along with a pharmacy of other drugs, but wow! It can mess with the mind! This brought back alot of memories. I’m glad you shared. Our twins were born at 25 week – 1lb. 8 oz. and 1 lb. 12 oz. An amazing journey! Your girls are beautiful.
    Your words of loving God, but avoiding his Word were convicting to my soul. My soul which has thought up other things that needed to be done instead of picking up my Bible for about a week now. Ever since my doctor appointment last Monday, when we found out miscarriage was inevitable for our fourth child.
    I stand on a firm foundation of God’s faithfulness and goodness, but my heart beats with a disappointment and a guilt inducing feeling that he let me down. To conceive 5 children and only get to tangibly love on 3 is so hard… I know I need to run to Him though. Thank you for your words.

  • Michelle W.

    Angie,
    I have only posted once before but God has lead me to post again this morning. First, I too am a mommy of a preemie (born at 33 weeks 1 day – I share your dislike for all labor stopping drugs and their side effects).

    Anyway, I know that you mentioned that you wanted to get to know us better. I had been following your e-bay auction of Coco and was stunned (insert God touched) this morning to learn that I actually know her buyer. Tippa is a wonderful, wonderful person. She is actually who lead me to your blog – from which I’ve been blessed. I felt so overwhelmed with the feeling of sisterhood in our Lord Jesus Christ that I had to post. I have no doubt that her generousity as well as yours will bless many women and their babies.

    Thank you for continuing to share yourself with us. You honesty and sincerity are so welcomed in this world. May God richly bless you – my sister in Christ.

  • Kelly

    Please pray for this baby: http://johnmelandkayden.blogspot.com/2008/06/praying-for-best-but-fearing-worst.html

    They lost one last year after she was born and now they are hearing this baby’s kidneys may be bad. They need all the prayers they can get!

  • Tish

    thanks for sharing. i know that look on the doctor’s face that you describe…and how it seizes your heart and steals your breath in an instant. i’m very happy that your story turned out so beautifully with your two girls.

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • kimpriestap

    You are so gifted at putting your thoughts into words for the rest of us to read. Every time I come to your blog I am moved by what you’ve written.

  • derrickandamy

    Angie, I am so glad that I ran across your blog. I also miscarried my first pregnancy. In the late weeks of pregnancy with my precious Caroline, God whispered the word “Restoration” during a church service. I believe that in that moment all of the running and the keeping at arms length was forgiven. For the first time, I think I understood the meaning of grace. Thank you for sharing your heart. I pray that normalcy continues to creep in and that you may cherish it! ~Blessings, Amy

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • Scott, Rebecca, Wyatt & Annabelle

    Precious Angie~ Your words are so beautiful. Thank you for giving me hope and peace by allowing God to work in and through you on days where I feel the earth caving in without my baby girl.
    Heart hugs~ Rebecca
    http://www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com

  • a woman found

    I’m so glad your “out here” sharing your story with us! It brings courage and draws us closer to the Father!

    I am praying for your friend too!

    Sheila

  • Holly

    Thank you for sharing the story about Abby and Ellie… they are sweet girls. How lucky they are too have a mommy like you. You know Kate’s story is next right!!??? I’d love to hear about her. Well, children to get dressed and groceries to buy… I’ll check in later- I find myself coming to your page at least twice a day, your words are encouraging and comforting- thank you for blogging and not scrapbooking(if it was a scrapbook I would never know you. PS: I get stressed out scrapbooking too!! :)

  • The Morris Family

    Twins….what wonders our hearts enjoy from their little lives, we have two sets of twins, the oldest are 20 and the second are Joel and Josiah, Joel is forever 3,(1/23/07) Josiah is 4 now. One of the hardest things of not having Joel here, is the things I miss for Josiah, our first twins have an incredible relationship and I miss that for Josiah. I love the picture!!!
    Cindy
    http://www.weloveyoujoel.blogspot.com

  • jamie in rose cottage

    Beautiful post. I don’t comment often (because you have about a million others to read) but I am very blessed by what you post on your blog. The re-do is gorgeous, by the way; looks like a fabulous scrapbook page, so don’t worry about not scrapbooking. :-)

    I sent a link to your blog a while back to a friend who unexpectedly lost her little boy just a few months ago (he was 2 years old); watching her walk with Christ through all that has amazed and blessed me. As soon as I read your entry about the smashed pitcher (my 1st visit to your blog), I thought that you reminded me of her. I know she went to Luke’s funeral to show support for his family. I just wanted to tell you how very much God is using you to bless so many people.

  • Cortney

    Thanks for telling your story. It gives me so much hope even though I’ve never experienced anything like what you’ve been through. The fact that you faith and can perserve when you’ve been through so much is truly inspiring. Ellie and Abby are beautiful and I can’t wait to hear more about them.

    Your friend and her pregnancy are in my prayers.

  • Amanda

    I am so glad that you told us this story. And, the way the purse situation ended is simply heavenly.

    I’ve said a prayer for Tippa and your friend.

  • Polka Dot

    thank you for sharing with us.

    I so relate to your words about keeping God at arm’s length after your miscarriage. I did the same after losing our only baby at 7wks 2 days. And while I heard His whispers, I continued to turn my head away.

    Until I started reading your blog about Audry. It was then that I finally let Him talk to me in His normal voice. No more whispers.

    Your words and experiences never fail to bring me closer to Him.

  • lini15237

    Angie,
    I want to say that we are a lot alike in the journal thing.. I to do not keep a very good journal.. I have a bad habbit of starting one and then not finishing it and moving on to another one. I have a whole bunch of new ones that I have bought that I haven’t even started writing in.. Most of the time i wonder when i am ever going to have time to write in them, I am a mother of 2 amazing children, Hailey Aliya is 28months and Riley John is 15 months.. so there seems to be no time.. I am also a full time youth staff memeber at my local church and run the church nursery.. There is never a lack of stuff to write just a lack of time.. but i want to tell you how blessed i have been by reading your story and getting to know you and your family.. I hope to continue to get to know you and look forward to reading your blogs. one more thing.. Thank you for being REAL!!! it really means a lot that there are people in this world that are willing to share such personal stuff with the world and people they do not know. You are in my prayers and thoughts daily. May God continue to bless you and Todd and your family..

  • Lesley

    Thanks for sharing that Angie. In alot of ways it sounds like my experience over the last year and a half. Nathan is 6 months now, we called him Nathan because it means God’s gift in Hebrew. I was told last Valentine’s Day that I may not be able to have kids, but something in me told me to trust God, that He just wanted to do another miracle in my life. And He did 3 weeks later without medical help I was pregnant. I nearly miscarried at 7 weeks but if you saw him now, big chunky boy.
    I completely understand that you wanted to keep God at arms distance and I don’t want to sound like I’ve got everything worked out because I trusted God. I was only able to do that because He had done so much else in my life, even the day before I saw Him remove a huge mountain in my life. Plus I had the help of my bestfriends 3 year old that had ‘TOLD’ (God must smile alot!)Jesus to make my body work right and she had complete faith. Child like faith!
    Thanks Angie, the testimony God has given you is so awesome and for a time such as this! Sorry for going on too much!
    Big hug, Lesley!
    PS isn’t is so hard to pick the right shampoo when they ALL smell so great. Do you do the same with fabric softener?

  • Susan

    Angie,

    Thank you for sharing. I always walk away from reading your blog so humbled. Without going into detail, every day is a struggle….but the way you are so transparent with us and share intimate details of your own life is very encouraging to me. You give me hope.

    To Tippa! Thank you so much for giving to the Lord!! You not only touched Angie’s life in an incredible way, I believe you have touched us all in doing what so many of us would have liked to do, but couldn’t……As a sister in Christ, thank you!

    Sue

  • Jill

    Dear Sweet Angie,
    As I read your latest post – I too believe that truth will always set you free! Your truth is thousands if not millions of peoples truth – that they keep God at a safe distance. The unfortunate thing that happens to most is they walk so far away they don’t get to enjoy God’s peace, joy or grace. You are a beautiful example of what happens when we put our trust in Him even when it hurts and is scary!

    What you said that is most important and I hope your readers will allow it to sink deep is this – GOD WILL ALWAYS PURSUE YOU! GOD WILL NEVER FORSAKE US OR LEAVE US. No matter what you do God will NEVER turn His back on you! PRAISE God!

    God does care if we read His word, pray to Him and if we serve Him. However, unlike us He does NOT keep score and there is NOTHING we can do to earn His approval. We are NOT working for His approval. We are working from it! We are saved by grace – it is a gift unearned and deserved. He wants our hearts and for us to choose Him daily.

    Our God is a gracious and merciful God. He is love and it is perfect love. As such, it doesn’t matter what you did in the past – that is where satan wants you to focus and on the future. Two places you can’t work on today. God wants us to focus on today – moment by moment and if needed minute by minute. Pray without ceasing and bring ALL of our troubles, joys and sorrows to Him. He is there and will always be there to LOVE us perfectly right where we are – reading or not reading His word daily.

    His desire is to speak to us through His word – to encourage us, to comfort us, to guide us and to love us. I pray that each reader will see your honesty and transparency – and be compelled to know your Jesus – my Jesus the way you do – so they too can be transformed and conformed into His image today.

    Don’t promise God anything. He doesn’t want them. He wants us to believe…that is it! Simply believe. He is the promise maker and keeper – we just need to believe them TODAY!

    I love you Angie Smith and your precious family. I pray for you daily and think of you often! I love watching from afar how God is working in and through you to speak volumes to lost and to His sheep who want to hear His voice through a beautiful daughter of His.

    Congrats on Coco being used for so much good and bringing you a new special friend! I will hold your friend in prayer – may God grant the prayers of her heart for this new life growing inside of her and may this journey draw her and her family ever closer to Him.

    In His amazing grace,
    Jill
    http://www.openinghisword.blogspot.com
    http://www.forevernevernalways1.blogspot.com

  • Angie

    hope you are having a happy wednesday! we will think of you guys today and smile.
    Angie

  • Morning By Morning

    PRAISE THE LORD!

    “For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:’
    1 Samuel 1:27

    God’s Word can be such an amazing comfort! We will be praying for you and your family :)

    “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”
    Psalm 30:5

  • Dede Hunter

    I have been praying for you… and though my trials are different the broken pitcher spoke to me greatly. Thank you for being so real and honest!

    On a fun note…. my oldest daughter is Elisabeth Anne with an s in Elisabeth! I have said if she ever wants a nickname that Ellie would be my choice!

  • kristy mae

    Angie, my best friend had both of her babies too early. Praise the Lord, they are both happy and health now, one is 7 and one is almost 3. She said “the mag” is awful and I remember her suffering through that. I too was on bedrest for weeks due to low fluid…bed rest is a lonely place to be and I wish I had known the Lord like I do now. As you say, I can’t change it but I wish it had been different.
    Praise the Lord for our babies :)
    Kristy in Arkansas

  • LynnD

    Thank you for sharing you life with us. Each time I read your blog my heart is blessed.

    I know we’ll never meet, but I want you to know that I love you and your family.

  • Lynn

    Thank you so much for the story. I read your blog all the time, but have never posted. In fact I started a blog after reading yours and a few others, because I saw what a great place it is to put my thoughts. I pray for your family all the time. Thanks for being willing to share all your emotions.

  • Ric Booth

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your story and journey are encouraging. I love your blog. Your heart just drips with His saving grace and love in your words here.

    And I love your blog.

  • auntmommie

    I’m so happy about what Tippa did for you! As soon as I peeked at the eBay listing, I’d hoped that someone would “redeem” your purse, then give it back to you – how like the Lord that is. From now on, I’d think that your beautiful bag will mean so much more than just a fancy purse, because it’s been bought twice – for you.
    Love,
    Sandi

  • Tippa Glover

    Thank you, Angie! Many hugs!

  • auntmommie

    Oh, yes – I do always close and post these comments too quickly! But, isn’t the best thing about blogging that it really IS scrapbooking? Capturing a moment in time in words, verbally remembering the sights, sounds, and smells? And you are, indeed, a wonderful verbal scrapbooker, and we all get to open the pages and pour over the pictures. Thanks.
    :) Sandi (again)

  • Mom of three and two angels

    You have no doubt been through a lot with your girls. I’m so thankful that you share your stories with the world. They touch so many people! I too have yet to cook a meal (something that I love to do) since I lost my little one Mia, but I know with time and prayer you and I will learn a “new” normal. I will continue to pray for your family, Luke’s family and now your friend. I pray right now that you have a great day in the Lord!

    Marsha from KC

  • ClistyB

    yahoo!!! I was hoping that exact thing would happen. Good job Tippa!

  • Valerie

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your love for all of your children really shines through your writing. God has blessed you immensely. You and your family are in my prayers. Keep writing, you are such an inspiration!!

  • Rachel

    What a blessing your two girls are. I am so glad you have posted their story, as I have wondered about them. Thank your honesty and your ability to be transparent on your blog. It reminds me that we are not perfect people, and that despite how tough and perfect we all may seem on the exterior, we’re all still very broken on the inside. Thank you, Angie!

  • Misty

    it seems like all can say to you is how sweet.lol thanks for your story. you can read my blog if you want to know me better. But I must warn you…it’s pretty much ALL about my kids…lol.

  • Polka Dot

    It’s me again …

    I wanted to ask for some prayers for a stranger-friend who just lost her twins at 19 weeks. Please pray she and her husband can find some peace.

    Her blog can be found here –

    http://noswimmers.blogspot.com/

  • Jane-Jane

    YEAH!!!
    1st for your beautiful girls…all of them
    2nd…that you and CoCo are not going to part. When I told my husband about my prayer, he wanted to know how you would explain that to the girls. (he is always blown away when prayers like this are answered for me! heehee! For the longest time he thought I had a special Next_l direct line to God. As he grows in His relationship with our Jesus, he is realizing that he too has a direct line)

    I’m praying for your friend… our biggest emotions as girls, young and adulthood alike, are to have babies…there are healthy pregnancies daily…but there are also pregnancies that are not “normal/healthy” daily too. I cry out to God every time I hear of, or get that feeling of, a mommy on a road that will knock the wind out of her sails. My heart also aches for those that will never have the joy of a positive pregnancy test.

    always praying in SC!

  • Mrs. MK

    I have looked for the story of your twins…..what a wonderful story it is! I am amazed at where God has brought you from…isn’t he good???!!!!

  • Jen

    ” We have again the warning voice sounded in our midst, which shows the uncertainty of human life; and in my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it…grows more wicked and corrupt…The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again…” –Joseph Smith

    I first started reading your blog when your sweet video was on….I found you through a friends blog & have enjoyed reading all about you and your sweet family. Anyhow, another blog friend lost her 2 year old and had this sweet quote in a post and I thought it may bring you some comfort. I am LDS but just through reading your blog we have so many of the same beliefs and I am so greatful to have found your blog and have cried many tears on your behalf. I am currently pregnant with twins….you bring me hope and for that I am so thankful. My blog is private for personal issues….but if you ever have a desire to look at it….please email me your email at jen_0817@yahoo.com….I would be happy to add you to my list and have you as a blogging friend….although i know you have many but I want you to know who I am as I look at your blog every day to see you progress! Many hugs.
    Jenni

  • April

    Oh my goodness!! I absolutely LOVE it when you put up pics! This picture of your girls is the most precious thing I’ve ever seen! I love reading about your family and especially your journey with the Lord – you do well in giving Him the glory through it all. We’ll be adding your friend to our prayers and continue praying for you.

  • walkingbyfaith

    Thank you so so much for sharing this Angie. I’ve been wanting to know about the twins and their birth, so finding this post today was exciting for me. :) What a blessing it is for you to be able to look at your girls every day and know they made it. :) Tell us about Kate sometime too, will you?

    How sweet of Tippa to ask you to keep the purse. How sweet, and selfless.

    Thank you for being open, honest, and loving. I hope to one day be the wife and mother you are. For now, I’ll strive to work on the wife part until the Lord sees fit to bless us with a child. :)

    I’m praying for your friend…

  • Coralyn

    Your girls are precious. Praise God!

  • ~Kate

    Angie
    I am speechless and in awe, once again, by your beauty in writing and your beauty inside and out!

    Another amazing story, that has once again touched my heart!

    Blessing to you!
    ~Kate

    PS – My daughter is doing better – thanks for the prayers.

  • Gayla

    Angie, I have been a lurker for so many months. Not ever commenting because I just never had the right words. Please know that you inspire all of those that read your words. You have a beautiful soul. Thank you for being real and for not being afraid to share your heart. In Christian love,
    Gayla

  • Jan

    God really has shown so many miracles in your life, as well as the lives of so many others around us. I read your blog religiously, and I find great comfort and strength in each and every word God leads you to write. I am now 6 1/2 weeks away from delivery, and I am getting a bit anxious for Adyson Rae’s arrival. I keep thinking back to your story for strength. Although I’m not certain that I could handle everything as graceful as you have, I know in my heart that our God loves us tremendously and will be with Scott, Adyson, and I through the entire delivery. You make motherhood look so beautiful, and for that I thank you!!! I will continue to be praying for you, Nicol, and your pregnant friend who is having complications.

    Much Love!

  • aimee

    Thank you for sharing your story. I just suffered a miscarriage and am blessed with 2 sons already, but am feeling the loss so greatly. I am utterly heartbroken. I haven’t opened my bible once. I love the Lord and I know He is with me, but I have chosen to stay away. After reading your words, I think I will come to Him today.

  • Northern’s

    Thank you so much for sharing that story with us Angie! It was good to see your honesty and your willingness to share it with us all! I know all too well the side affects of the mag. and of meds! I had the same issue just three weeks ago! And I know all to well going to the NICU and pumping and such….I am living it right now…(and really wanting it to all stop…knowing I have a long road ahead.)

    You are such an amazing woman and I am blessed to “know” you and I hope to really get to know you.

    Thanks again for this update and this story, I needed it!

    -Denise-

  • Tasha

    Thank you for sharing their story with us.They really are just precious.I just want to kiss those sweet little cheeks!And the last picture is priceless.Took my breath away.Will be praying for your friend.Bless her heart!Love~Tasha

  • paperglueetc

    Girl as much as you make me cry I wonder sometimes why I love you! ha! What a great post!! I visit a lot of the blogs from the comments here and I pray for all of the moms and Angel Moms. I’m so glad we have all found each other, I do a lot of event planning maybe someday we can have a “Bring The Rain Conference”..keep it coming Angie you are a blessing!

  • Sun

    WOW – I love your heart even more than I did when I first began reading this. I love how God is just SO huge in everything you write – even when it is to say you felt like He let you down – I have felt that SO many times too. I cannot wait to read the rest of this! Thank you – truly thank you – for sharing your heart. Sunshine

  • Joannah

    Your blog is a blessing to me. I am dealing with some infertility issues and becoming reacquainted with my Savior, and it’s just so good to read about other peoples’ journeys and see what hard times can produce in our spirits.

    You have such a beautiful family! May God continue to bless you all, and to heal your hurts.

  • Emily

    Your words of faith, love, and care for others come out in every post. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I have prayed for you, your husband, and your sweet girls many times over. You have the most faithful spirit, even in the worst of times, and you have encouraged me to dive deeper in my reltaionship with God.

  • Daughter of Annie

    Hello – i just want to say you are a beautiful person and have a lovely family. I have been following your blog and I am in awe of your strenght and your openess – your faith. I believe i was meant to follow your blog and i have learned so much from you.
    I pray for your entire family and I will keep your friends in my prayers. I have been blessed with four beautiful grandchildren and they are sent straight from God…

    thank you for you wonderful writing….

  • mommeyof2

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart! You are a true inspiration and a blessing to all you reach! Your words about God and the trust in him that you exude absolutely amaze me! I yearn for that relationship with God—

    My initial reaction is to push away anyone/any man that has ever loved me, and unfortunately I do that with God….

    Kim in San Angelo, Texas

  • Susan

    Hey Angie,

    Wow, that’s all I keep saying with each post I read!!

    Hey, have you ever thought of writing a book?

    We are all hooked!!!

    Thanks for sharing your story about your twins. As always, you keep it real, and you point us right back to JESUS!!

    I was thrilled to read about your purse, and I must say I was praying something like this would happen. God truly honored your heart in the matter.

    Oh, as you have discovered, I’m a quote lover. So here’s another one for you. This explains why so many people are drawn to this blog daily:

    Some of the most comforting words in the universe are ‘me too.’
    That moment when you find out that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle, that you’re not alone, and that others have been down the same road.” -Rob Bell- Velvet Elvis

    Thanks for making us all say “me too”…♥

  • mamaredhead

    Angie, your words bless me every time I open your blog to read them. The internet is an amazing venue – you reach people you never would have a chance to “in real life”.

    I live in Little Rock, AR, and I saw Todd and Selah in concert when they were here a while back (a year ago, maybe?)… that was one of the most amazing nights of my life. I went with my sister (she and I are long-time fans of their work) and we worshiped until we were blue in the face!!! It was a holy experience.

    Sorry this is so long, I just really wanted to thank you for speaking to us and sharing with us.

    Andrea

  • valerie

    Again, tears are streaming down my face. I praise God for taking such good care of you and the twins.
    I was especially touched by what Tippa did. May God bless her with the desires of her heart. I know that meant so much to you. What a sweet lady!
    I’m keeping your friend in my prayers as well.
    Love,
    Valerie

  • Jennifer L. Griffith

    Your honesty is what helps others to trust and grow closer to God. Facades can not draw people to the Light in Spirit and in Truth.

    I LOVE all of your girls. I passed along the link of the video you posted of “chatty Kate” being “hand-locked” by older sister, Ellie (I think). The faces of the twins were priceless through the whole scene!!!! I got a good gut laugh out of that “real” experience.

  • Jenna

    Thank you so much for sharing the story of those two little sweeties! Just amazing! I feel like I use the word “amazing” a lot in these comments, but there could be no truer word for what God has done in your family life. Or to describe you as a person!

    YAY for Tippa and Coco!!! What a precious and giving woman. :)

    Continuing to pray for you Angie, and for all of the prayer requests you mentioned. Sending love y’alls way!

  • Mellissa

    Thank you again Angie for sharing your heart with so many strangers! I found out “officially” 4 days ago that I am pregnant, today I am 6 weeks pregnant. Because of your story, I *know* that I treasure every minute of my pregnancy and feel blessed. This is our first and I am filled with a deep calm, peaceful happiness and love for God and baby. Thank you for sharing your and Audrey’s story so that new moms-to-be like me are sure to take nothing for granted. You are a blessing in my life. (we started telling people on Father’s Day and am waiting to blog it!)

  • jenmom

    Thanks so much Angie for the story about the twins! Just know that your words are inspiring and emote an intimate relationship with our Awesome God. Thank you for your honesty and transperancy! “Just black and white and true”, I love that!
    Jude 24-25 “To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy, to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen!”
    Jennifer
    Cape Coral, Florida

  • Marci@Finding Joy in the Journey

    Angie,

    Funny to be able to feel such a deep connection over profound life changing things and then find connection in the little normal life things! I too have a stack of mostly empty journals. Mine sit in a basket on my dresser. I too have scrapbook phobia. I tried, I really did! I loved the idea of creating beautiful scrap books. I loved the social part of doing it with friends. The panic attack in Hobby Lobby while trying to choose what I needed, too much for me! When I found out I could have your blog turned into a book I knew this would do it!

    Thank you for revealing more and more of your story to your avid readers! We know God has brought us all here to learn from you and share with each other! Thank you!

  • blessedwith5

    So beautiful!

  • Tanya

    You write beautifully, full of inspiring words that touch my heart, they really do.

    I have been through many trials in my life as well, and when I read your words, I shake my head up and down agreeing with so many of the things you say.

    Unfortunately, right now in my life, I’m at the point with God that you were at after your miscarriage. I know He’s there, I love Him, but I am lacking trust and faith for him. It leaves me feeling empty! I’ll get over this hurdle. Maybe we have to go through things like this to do so.

  • ruthi

    I had a feeling God was going to ask someone to purchase your “Coco” and give it back to you. Isn’t God the coolest!
    Your honesty and authenticity are a breathe of fresh air. Blessings!

  • amy

    Gosh, our stories about our twin girls are so incredibly similar. Wow. I spent 6 1/2 weeks in the hospital also on magnesium and a turbutaline pump in my leg…always wondering if we were going to make it far enough for my girls to be safe. We almost had to deliver at 29 weeks because the magnesium caused me to get flash pulmonary edema. I was in terrible pain in my back and couldn’t breathe. The doctor thought it was a pulmonary embolism. Scary stuff! Just as they were coming in to talk to me and have me sign consent forms for an emergency section ( of which I was told I’d be completely knocked out and would have to be in a medically induced coma until my lungs cleared up) I started to be able to breathe a little easier. They pumped me full of lasix (sp?) and it worked just in time! The doctor shook is head in disbelief and decided just to send me to ICU and wait to see if I’d improve. I did! We made it to almost 34 weeks and my girls had a rough time, but are beautifully healthy now! God is good!!! I was like you…in that I held Him at arm’s reach in case He let me down. I had also lost a baby before they were born and was deeply hurt by that. I have never understood why God would give a baby only to take it away. I think I’m learning that He doesn’t “let us down”…it’s just His ways are higher than ours and there are things we’ll never understand this side of heaven. One day we’ll know…Lord, come quickly!!! :)

    Lots of love to you!!!
    amy

  • Mami Sue

    Angie, this is the first time I am responding to one of your posts even though I am an avid reader of your blog and have been for a very long time :)
    Thank you for sharing the twins story. Wow–God is so amazing–He surprises me every day with His goodness and through you has given me so much hope and encouragment.
    Thank you for that!!
    I am a twin–I have an identical sister and it is so wonderful. Your girls are going to have the greatest relationship! Thank you for laying your heart out through your blogging and I wanted you to know I am praying for you and your recent loss of Audrey and also for little Luke’s family–I am a HUGE fan of Selah and listen to my many cd’s alllll the time!
    May God deeply bless you today!
    Love, Sue

  • Martha

    God bless Tippa for doing what I wanted to do. I have tried to figure out how I could buy you an identical purse as a gift, never thinking that the winning bidder wouldn’t accept the purse. What a blessing to have a kindred spirit half-way around the world who because of her love of her Lord and you would bless you this way. May God bless her immensely with her heart’s desire.

  • Melissa Neal

    Dear Angie,

    Although we do not know each other, we are connected, in a way, through ours husband’s work. I want to thank you for sharing your heart with us, your readers. Every day I can’t wait to see if you have posted something new. I get excited when I barely scroll down and see that there is a post with the day’s date. I get my cup of tea and I sit and read. Mostly I shed tears at the trials you have encountered and then I find inspiration in how you handle them. You have blessed me so much with your words. You have inpsired me and you have helped me have the courage to endure the battle that I am going through now.

    Thank you.

  • Cupcake

    Well first let me say that my name is Angie also and I am the mother of a 15 year old son with Down Syndrome and twin daughters who have just turned 5. I feel like we have lived some of the same life! When I was 32 weeks pregnant with the girls we went for a last ultrasound. We usually had a chatty laid back guy who spent as much time chatting with us as he did checking out the u/s. We loved him. The day we went for the last u/s we got this other chick who was always very serious and didn’t connect with us like the guy did. I always think it was God’s hand that brought us to her that day. During the course of the u/s I mentioned that the babies had been a lot quieter and Baby “B” had hardly been moving at all. She tried to “wake” her up, had me move around, etc. no change. Finally the head doc came in and did his thing and then said – you are going to have babies today. I was lucky enough to bring two small but healthy babies into the world that day. Sydney at 3.8 and Lauren at 4.8. I truly believe if we had the fun u/s tech that day I would not have my beautiful daughters in my life. I would have been busy chatting with him and laughing and I never would have mentioned the lack of movement. So by the grace of God my babies were born healthy.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story and reading mine.
    If you are interested you can learn more about us on my blog
    http:crabbydeal.blogspot.com
    I’d love to see you visit.
    Take care and blessings to you and your family.

  • Dre

    Angie, ah. You seriously capture my little heart with every word that you type out! :o ) What a blessing. :o )

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • David & Nicole

    One of my favorite parts of the day is checking to see if you have a new post! I have learned so much from you over the past few months as I have been following your story. I have also been blessed with twins, as well as another sweet daughter and you and your story continue to provide me strength as I do my best to raise my three little munchkins. I so admire your faith, and it is an area in my life that I am working on and am trying to grow. Thank you so much for all of your words. You are truly a blessing and an inspiration!
    Sincerely, Nicole

  • Kelly

    More tears today, you have such an awesome way of telling a story. I am so grateful to ‘know’ you. I have a 5 year little girl as well, I can’t imagine her times two! Best wishes.

  • DKay

    What a beautiful story of the one of the best days of your life. I am pretty certain in saying all Moms have those days rated as high also.
    I love your words – you are such a sweet and ‘real’ person. In this world where other Moms are pathetically “perfect” on their blogs and those wonderful “one uppers” who try to stomp your own self esteem as a Mother – you are a breath of fresh air. And you have sparked me to know Him deeper and more personally. Your journey has touched the lives of so many.
    I thank God that he has been able to use you are journey to reach out to so many folks in so many different ways.
    Keep on keeping on! We love you

  • Laura Nipper

    What a blessing your blog has become in my life. Your ability to write is amazing and your faith in the Lord so refreshing. Thank you for sharing this post on your twin girls. What little miracles they are.

  • trblmkrtess

    Thank you Angie, for filling in the blanks about the twins. I know that all babies are miracles, but I also gleaned that there was more to their story. What a blessing it was to hear it.

    I am still so angry (in the most Christ-like way of course!) with the fact that you were deceived. I don’t know the details, but I know the One who does, and Darlin’, you represent Him well.

    Your transparency is a precious gift to me and so many others. Continuing to pray for you as your walk this grieving season. God’s blessings on your friend and her pregnancy.

    In His grip,

    Teresa

  • Heather

    Angie- I just love reading your writing. I am praying for our own little miracle to be conceived in His timing.
    Thanks again for your ministry!

  • Erin

    Angie,
    You are a beautiful, beautiful person! :) I am blessed to know you.

  • Sue

    Angie, I’ve been following your story for a while now. I have never left a comment before because I feel like I’m spying on your beautiful family through a peep-hole in your wall. I know you don’t feel that way, but still…

    I know you’ve heard this from a hundred different people, but I feel connected to you on so many levels. When I read about you trying to pick out a stuffed animal at some amusement park, I was laughing and crying at the same time. When I was young, if I stepped in a puddle with one foot, I would have to go back and step in it with the other foot…to even things out. I would tie my shoes a dozen times trying to make them the exact tightness. The list could go on forever…

    When I first clicked on your blog, I saw your Abby & Ellie, and smiled as I thought of my 2 oldest–Abbie & Ellie. Each post I read, I feel like I’m checking in on an old friend. Thank you for sharing your thoughts…and especially for being so honest with them.

    You help me keep things in perspective during a difficult time, and I thank you for that. I’m sure you spend hours each day reading your comments and checking out others’ blogs, but feel free to peek in on mine. I pray someday God blesses our paths to cross.

    Thanks, again. May God continue to bless you & your family.

  • iheartchocolate

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

    This is a beautiful story and I am keeping your friend in my thoughts.

  • Lisa4Him

    Angie,

    I just discovered your blog recently. On that night I went back to the beginning and read your whole story. I sat at my computer bawling my eyes out over the pain, that I could only imagine, that you have been through and continue to go through. I am so touched by your honesty on this blog and am so touched by your deep and abiding faith in God as you travel this most difficult and painful journey. I have prayed for you and will continue to do so…and for your brother-in-law and sister-in-law. :(

  • mcgintys

    Angie,
    My sister-in law introduced me to your blog and I love reading it. You have a beautiful heart for the Lord and an amazing strength in Him. Thank you for sharing your story. I know you are touching so many through this blog. Your faith is such a testimony.
    -Angie

  • Princess Motormouth

    Angie,

    Thank you, from the bottom of my soul, for your testimony, your sweet spirit, and your willingness to share what is on your heart.

    I just found your blog on Monday, and I have spent the last few days reading every post. I have forwarded your blog to as many people that I can. I have tried to give a brief overview of your journey, but my words are not accurate or even begin to give your words justice. I just tell people to read yours and be prepared for a blessing!

    Thank you for that yummy glass of HUMBLE juice!

    I promise to pray for you, Todd, your precious girls, as well as your family.

    I would like to introduce myself now…I’m Emily (aka: Princess Motormouth, mother of 2 girls.

    Please feel free to visit my site to get to know me if you’d like at: http://www.princessmotormouth.com .

  • annifranni

    I want you to know that I cherish your fresh honesty.

    I continue to pray for you always, knowing that God uses you to glorify Him.

    What you have to say about scrap booking cracks me up. I have seen some seriously beautiful scrap books and long to make such beautiful things, but like you, I get overwhelmed with all the choices. If I could I would have a drawer full of scrap book paper just to take out and look at and dream of being a scrap booker because it’s so pretty.

    I’ve never lost a baby, but I have had a baby in the NICU and I can relate to a tiny portion of your experience. It is scary and stressful, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

    I pray that God would continually bless you as you use your life for Him.

    Thanks so much for sharing part of your life with me.

    ~Andrea

  • Bonnie

    You have an incredible, beautiful story and have been granted an amazing gift from God in that you can share it so vividly with words. I feel your pain, your joy, your confusion – all of it – just by reading your words. I have come to check your blog daily to see what hidden thought you draw out. My own memories have come back (two miscarriages in my past) and for a change I can look at them with the love of Him who made me, not with anger at myself for being a failure. Thank you for that gift. I pray for your and your family’s continued healing every day and it seems that while the pain of not having all of your children physically with you will never go away, God is carefully showing you the beauty He can create through our pain. And as always, His timing is perfect and it’s like watching a beautiful flower unfold in spring. Thank you for allowing us to look into that window. I love your heart, I love your perspective and I simply like “spending time” with you every time. You are my morning coffee companion now. :) God’s blessings continue to rain on you, my sister in Christ.

  • Sydney Elizabeth

    This is the 3rd time I am attempting to leave a comment so, I hope it works! I just want to say that you are such an amazing woman and I feel so lucky to have found your blog. I have shared it with my husband and find myself talking about it to so many people. Thank you for being so open and honest and for continuing to touch so many of us out there. I pray for you, your family, and friends often. Your daughters are beautiful and are so lucky to have such an incredible Mom. Keep writing!

  • Jacquie

    I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now and have shed more tears and laughed out loud. You have a wonderful way with expressing yourself. I love your honesty! It’s strange, but your blog has touched my life and I look forward to what God will say through you.

    I am a mother of two boys (age 21 and 19). They bless me just being their mom!

    I continue to pray for you and your family and will for your friend who already knows the love a mother has for a child (even before it’s born).

  • Kristin

    Angie, you are such an amazing writer! I have been reading your blog and your story for about a week. I couldn’t let this go without commenting. I cried when I read about Coco and how all of that turned out. You really do touch all of us with your words and your faith. God Bless :)

  • Holly

    I can relate to you so much. My first pregnancy was much like yours with the twins as far as where I stood in my faith. My second pregnancy (caringbridge.org/visit/samueljames) was much different. I actually hit a huge growth spurt in my faith and when he came so early, I cannot imaging how I got one foot in front of the other, but the Lord knows:D. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open and honest. I continue to pray for you and your family. Take Care.

  • AJ

    I prayed you would somehow get to keep it… AWESOME! :-)

  • nursamy

    hello–you write so amazingly! I love to read your blogs. It is cool to see how God blesses you when you are obedient. Cool about Coco -your purse! enjoy her. Also it is so clear to see how blessed Todd is with having you for his wife. I remember being at Belmont with him in our last semester and conversating about life (I was already engaged and was to be married that summer after graduation) I remeber Todd talking of marriage and kids and just future life and it is so cool to see how God has blessed Him with you! You are an encouragement to us that read your blogs. THanks for being so transparent and real. Love to yous!–Amy in California

  • candesintx

    What a sweet picture! I love it. Another mystery solved. I had always wondered but didn’t dare to ask.

    Praying for your friend and Tippa! (Did I spell that right?)

  • Tiffany

    Angie,

    This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with me. Sometimes, I feel as if we are the same person, but in different bodies. I know the Lord has directed me to your blog. Where you were with the Lord when Abby and Ellie were born, I am there now. I love Him, Know Him, but I don’t want Him too close. My heart breaks writing that, but I must be honest and express the truth.

    Thank you for being so honest and open and fresh about your faith and even the times when you lacked. It has been an encouragement and just the prodding I needed from my Loving Father.

  • Tabi

    What an amazing gift that the woman who boughg “coco” has given! Not only do you get to keep your purse but the pure selfless gift of donating all that money to the clinic! So, what do your girls think of all of this since it started out as a lesson for them?

  • Katherine Page

    Thank you, Angie for being real and honest about what life brings you. Even though I cannot relate to what you have been through (since i’m 22 and single), God has been showing me so much through your words. I was looking up information about the Chapman family and came across someones blog which then had you on it. I definately know that God wanted to show me something. Reading your story and your words are very encouraging to me. It makes me feel hopeful because what you have been going through is tough and only God can heal this deep hurt you have. I have so many hurts (nothing that compares to what you are experiencing) that have been there since I was a little girl and it is hard to know how to let go and give it to God. Funny how things keep coming up when you thought you had given them to GOd. It is crazy how one person could feel all alone in this big world but I do. None of my family are christians and at times I just want to know how to live this CHristian life. Your statement,

    “I believed in Him. The whole story. I loved Him fully, but I learned to keep Him at arm’s length in the event that He let me down. I hate that part of the story, and if I could do it over…well, I can’t. I just have to know that He pursued me even when I acted like a jilted bride. He wanted me when I didn’t want Him. He taught me about Himself, even as I resisted loving Him back. I am forever grateful for the tenderness He showed me during that time, and the grace He showed me when I came running back with remorse in my heart. “

    It is as if you read my mind. I keep anyone and everyone at arms length because of what I have been through. Tough thing was most of it I wasn’t a believer so when God wrapped his arms around me I was so wounded and shut off of any emotion and of any affection. IT is still a huge struggle and I feel extreme guilt that I feel God’s love but most of the time I can’t give it back because of the fear that he’s going to leave too. SOunds so silly because his word says that he will never leave or forsake.

    I am so sorry this has nothing to do with what you are doing and I can’t find any words to comfort you because you are the one who is helping me in the healing process. I feel such a connection with you even though I don’t know you from adam. I am so sorry for your loss and I am praying for you and your family.

    p.s. this post sounds so depressing and that is because I’m going through a difficult time but hopefully soon I will repost because God is amazing and he truly has turned my life around.

  • Linda

    Always so beautifully written Angie – always with the ring of a heart that is vulnerable and honest. As I read your post I found myself saying “Yes – that is how it felt; that is how I was; this is how I feel now.” It doesn’t seem to matter what the circumstances of our individual lives our – we share so much in our walk with the Lord. We are all on this incredible journey – and we are all so human.
    Thank you again for sharing your heart Angie. Some day I would love to share our story with you.

  • Jennifer

    You are just an amazing woman! There is not a day that goes by, that I don’t think of you and your family! I pray for you and I admire your walk with the Lord!

    Thank you for bearing your soul!

    I’m so glad you get to keep your purse!

  • Katy Lin :)

    thank you so much for sharing your life with us – and for not hiding the parts that are hard to share! i so appreciate reading your posts. let your friend know that we are praying for her :)

  • Tabatha

    I want to comment, but I really don’t know what to say. A friend passed your blog on to me with a brief insight of Audrey. I wish I could have known about this blog before and helped to pray, but God knows best and has perfect time and I am grateful to have found this now. As for the book, it seems you are writing it now, and how blessed I am to be able to read it as it is written (the story’s not over yet!)

    There’s a long journey of healing ahead of you… I know, for I’ve been there too. Only, I had no idea of my loss until she was already gone. Bethany Joy was stillborn at 33 1/2 weeks on February 6, 2003. Yes, she would be (is supposed to be) 5 years old. I have also had two miscarriages; in fact, I am at the latter stages of one now. As one commenter shared in her story. Bethany was a pregnancy that I was not prepared for. Not to say she was unwanted, by no means! But my first daughter was only 6 months old, when I found out we were going to have another. I went through (and sometimes still struggle with) the thoughts of God taking her from me because I wasn’t thankful for the blessing He was allowing me to carry. But I accepted His grace and peace during the loss. Weeks later (like 8), I found out I was pregnant again — yes, just after my postpartum checkup! I was excited; I felt as if God was giving me a second opportunity… until 8 weeks later I miscarried. This to me, seemed harder to take than losing Bethany. Why?!?
    Now 3 children, with stories of their own, and this last miscarriage, I read your story. In it all, I still don’t understand God’s wisdom, but I see His hand of grace in your life, in mine. And in others who share our same grief. Each one is to mold us into a vessel unto honour.

    Yes, “joy comes in the morning” that Heavenly morning will bring joy when we see His face, and our treasured babies!

  • Kari Dawson

    My twin girls are named Hailey Alina and Mallory Abigail. I’m certain by now you must know the meaning of Abigail but just in case, it means “my father’s joy.” Just wanted to share that with you.

  • Tabatha

    Oh, and if I may, I’d like to add your blog link to my blog…
    bentleybunch.blogspot.com

    I have yet to share my stories, but one day, I hope to.

  • goodtwin

    Angie, Again your post has touched me. I only hope that I can be as much of a Godly woman as you are. I appreciate your honesty in all your posts. (oh yeah, I LOVE your new web page design). Please keep the posts coming. I forward the link to family and friends all the time. I am from Michigan (near Lansing) if you ever come up this way to visit family, you can be part of mine. Just give a days notice :)

  • Sue

    I hope you don’t mind me linking your blog in one of my posts. I should have asked before. Here’s the link…

    http://thegreatbalancingact.blogspot.com/2008/04/grateful.html

  • Katie

    Angie –

    I have been following your blog for a couple months and you are a beautiful writer. God has given you a gift. I can relate to this blog entry because my youngest daughter (Audrey Faith) was born 3 months early after suffering a late term miscarriage (18 weeks) 9 months prior. It was a difficult pregnancy from the beginning. My water broke when I was 24 weeks and I was hospitalized until I delivered at 27 weeks. Audrey was 2 lbs, 7 oz when she was born. She spent 7.5 weeks in the NICU and came home just in time for Christmas that year. She is now a vibrant 2 and a half year old whom I am trying to potty train. I also have a 5-year-old named Madeleine. I just appreciate how open and honest you are. So much of what you have written I have felt, but was never able to express it in the beautiful way you have.

    Thank you for your willingness to share your stories. I have been praying for your family.

    Sincerely,
    Katie

  • Lauren

    Isn’t it great that we have such a loving Father? He takes us back no matter how many times we’ve pushed Him away or turn our backs to Him.

    Such a sweet story…thanks for sharing Abby and Ellie with us!

  • Tiffany

    Angie,
    Thank you SO much for sharing your story about Abby and Ellie! I was really hoping you would share it with us.

    My first pregnancy, was twins, I lost them at 13 weeks. It was so much time, I thought that I was “out of the trouble zone” since I was in my second trimester.

    That was the moment that I knew beyond a doubt that HE was real. He touched me, in so many ways. I could actually feel His gentleness around me. So, almost 11 years have passed, and I can truly praise Him for that storm. Would I rather it had turned our different? Yes. But I know that He is good. So good. And I learned alot in those days and years that followed, things that have carried me through another miscarriage and two healthy kiddos.

    Blessings and prayers to you, sweet Angie.

    Much Love,
    ~Tiffany

  • KWilleby

    I was sent to your blog by a friend of mine who has a special needs baby. I have been hooked ever since that first day. I love your honesty and your transparency. You are meant to be writing what you write – it is truely your ministry. Thank you.

  • mel

    your friend has my prayers! :)

    I love reading what you write Angie. It is always so beautiful. Thank you for sharing the story about Ellie and Abby. They seem like precious little girls. the photo at the end of your post is wonderful. i love when moments like that can be captured in a photo!

  • Andi

    You are such an inspiration to so many moms in this ever so large world. Thank you for sharing your life with us! I love the new layout of your page it looks great. Feel free to stop by my site anytime.

  • Gabrielle

    I have been reading for a while now but have just never posted. I guess I just didn’t know what to say. Thank you for sharing yourself with us…you are such an inspiration. Glad to hear that “Coco” has done so much good and has made it back “home”…I had a feeling there’d be a reunion.

    Praying that God will continue to work through you and bring many happy moments in the days to come.

  • Martha

    What a wonderful, miraculous story. I’m aching to have another baby, but for whatever reason it’s not meant to be, at least, not yet. You write with such passion and such conviction about the goodness of God, and I just want to tell you that I leave your site each time with my spirit a little more buoyed than it was when I arrived.

  • King Family

    I tried to leave a comment earlier, but I was having trouble. My little angel has woken from her nap so I will just mention this really quick. I saw that you said you don’t scrapbook, but I think you might really find this company interesting. It is called “Creative Moments”

  • WendyCarole

    Thank you for sharing. my much wanted daughter was born at 34 weeks, took ages to breathe which I still have nightmares about but now is high school teacher.

    You are often in my thoughts I admire your courage

  • Creekermom

    Angie, I tell your story to everyone I run into that it may have a Godly impact on their lives.

    God is using you and growing you in ways you have no idea but so many of us are being blessed by your openness and realness as a Woman, Wife and a Mom.

    I am keeping your ‘friend’ and her precious little blessing in my thoughts and prayers.

    I have a little girl who was born 12/3/02 after 2 losses.

    I think too Angie in so many ways, you say a lot of what we all want to say but somehow just can’t find the words.

    Thank you for allowing God to you use you.

    May you be so richly blessed the way you have blessed others.

    Valerie~

  • Amanda

    I had to giggle at your comment about the pretty notebooks. It’s almost as if I have to physically remove myself from that section of a store when I go shopping. I love pretty notebooks!!! Something about the fresh, clean pages, just waiting to be filled. Of course, I never know what to fill them with! :)
    And the shampoo…right there with you on that one, too! Drives my husband crazy because I always come home with something new after he’s gotten used to the last one. :)
    Thank you for sharing the girls’ story with us…what a time that was for you!
    And Tippa…what a gift!!! Praying that God blesses her richly for her generosity…maybe you guys could ‘share’ Coco??? :)

  • Beth

    Angie, coming to check your blog is like going to the mail box and finding another letter from a sister who lives just a bit to far to hug. Thanks for all your share. My walk with Christ grows daily and i Know he guided me to your blog to grow even more… And to be able to pray for your family. you’re just another blessing in my life. untill we meet Beth

  • amy

    Angie,
    I am new to your blog but I really enjoy what you say. I wanted to encourage you in that what you are saying is really touching my heart. I have been on a roller coaster ride with God for awhile now. I find that I keep Him at arm’s length because I’m afraid to trust him. I don’t know why, but I am. So I thank you for being real and showing me it is ok to trust Him. I’m working on it!
    Amy

  • Amelia’s Mom

    Thank you for admitting that you didn’t read your Bible. I recently lost my dad and also did not open my Bible during his illness. Fear, although not of God, is so powerful. I regret I did not have more courage for me or for my dad.

  • The Radanks

    Angie,
    A friend told me about your website. I began reading and two hours later I was still sitting at my computer, unable to pull myself away. I cried, laughed, and was sincerely inspired by your story. It is incredible what you have been through, but so inspiring how God has given you such a peace to go through it. Please know that I have prayed for you and will continue to do so. I am sure this has been suggested by others, but you should seriously consider writing a book about your journey. I have known a few people who have gone through similar circumstances, and I know it would mean so much to be able to read about your experiences. Thank you so much for sharing your story, even though I am sure it has been difficult to write at times. It has been such an encouragement to me. I had my first baby boy 8 months ago, and since reading your post, I have hugged and kissed him more and just enjoy every day with him more. Thanks again for sharing.

  • DIXIE

    Hi Angie, I love your blog – you are so real in a world that is fake. You remind us that it’s ok to be human and even though life is hard, God is still good!

  • The Arrington Family

    What an amazing story, Angie! I have twin girls so it really hit home. Double the blessings, double the fun! Ashley

  • The Murphy’s

    I can just feel the love you have for your children and your family It blesses me!

  • Rachel C.

    I want to thank you for your beautiful writing and your open heart. I found your blog just last week, and I really feel like God led me here. Last week was a hard one, because it was my baby’s due date. I carried my baby for only 12 weeks before I miscarried, but, like you said, that was plenty enough time to love him/her. This post was especially encouraging because I had never realized that you had a miscarriage before your beautiful girls – it’s always so exciting to see that God does bless families with lots of healthy babies after miscarriages. Thanks again! (And I’m SO happy that you get to keep Coco – what an awesome story!)

  • kathy

    Holy cow, can we hang out? I so feel like the words you speak could be mine. I have not lost a child, and I don’t pretend to know what you are going through or went through, but my first child was a preemie. By the grace of Him, I went in to have an ultrasound because he wasn’t moving…the dr. took him early at 34 weeks and he had the cord around his neck. Had I not gone in the dr. said he would have been gone. God showed us how big He is in our little Samuel’s life.

    We were married in June 2001 :)

    Anyway, you are a blessing.

    I wish we could go get coffee, for real!

    I rejoice in the little victories God gives you everyday…

  • georgia tarheel

    THANK YOU ANGIE! I love hearing the stories of how families come to be who they are! Yours seems to have captivated the world and I am so excited to see what God is going to do through you! Abby and Ellie are precious and I LOVE that last picture!

    Blessings to you and praises to Him~

    Paige

  • Kristin Ross

    Hello, Angie. I just stumbled upon your page after visiting my friend, Stacy’s, and I am so glad I did! You are a fantastic writer and have a gift for taking your readers with you and having them feel what you feel. Your love and awe of our God is amazing and truly makes me desire to continue growing my own relationship with Him.

    I’ve been exploring your and others blogs as my husband and I just lost our baby this month. It was an early miscarriage, about 6 weeks along, but I am coming to realize that we too need to mourn the loss of our sweet baby.

    Thank you for opening your heart to all of your readers. I am sure to be back. God bless you and your beautiful family!

  • Raelyn

    Oh I loved this. To read about your little miracles. This is such a great blog. So glad I found you.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  • my3sons

    This is my first post. I came across your blog and have read it thru tears from the beginning. You are an amazing woman! Your family is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration.

  • JennyWho

    Angie,

    I love what you write. I just love your sense of humor! It would be so wonderful to be able to meet you, but since I doubt that may ever happen, it’s a privilege that you share your thoughts with all of us out here. There is another blog I read which I also enjoy, for the same reason I am “hooked” on yours – you write about your relationship with God, but you do it with human honesty. I think that is a quality which is very much appreciated by those of us out here who also work on a real relationship with God.

    So, thank you.

    J. in OH

  • sherry

    Angie -
    I just want to thank you for all your heart-felt words you’ve ever written. You are an inspiration and truly blessed. Today I celebrate my son Jason’s 26th birthday – he passed away when he was 10 months old of leukemia. I had also suffered a miscarriage before Jason was born. And, I also had a set of twins ,one of whom was stillborn. I have a wonderful daughter and son(twin) who I am so thankful to be a mother to. Thanks for sharing your life with others. God Bless – Sherry

  • Vikki

    Angie, I have been reading your blog for months now. I open it almost every day at the office, just so I can listen to the playlist. When I realize that the playlist has ended, I click pn refresh and listen to it again. Over & over most days. It really blesses me.

    Today I read your post and cried and cried. I am having so much trouble reading my bible and making time for me & Him…and I cannot explain why. God has been so gracious and so forgiving and so faithful, protecting my husband and restoring my marriage. My husband has gone from being a drug addict to an amazing spiritual leader at his work and in our home. He begs me to do my daily devotions so that we can sit down and discuss them together. and yet, I don’t.

    I hope that one day you will explain how that changed for you. How you learned to trust Him. How you learned to make time for Him.

  • the myers’

    Angie–I think I know you better than I know some of my best friends. :)
    Thank you for sharing your stories. You are an amazing instrument of God! I hope you know that! He is using you in a mighty way!!! I pray for you and your family; now I will add your friend to the list. I was on bed rest with my sweet boy…I know how scary and uncertain it can be. We also know the ins and outs of the NICU. But I also know that the NICU is a good place, even though I was less than thrilled to have my angel there! I kept my Christ at a distance too. I will never forget that feeling when the doctors came in to tell me my baby was coming (@ 34 weeks), ready or not….then I asked my God to comfort me and give me peace. And at that moment, I had a calmness like no other…from the tip of my head to the bottom of my feet. I knew everything was in His hands. Praise God…He is good…
    Thank you for helping me remember this, and His goodness.
    You are in my heart and my prayers, friend!
    Amber Myers

  • mlberens9885

    I got the link for your blog from my Christian Mothers(Yahoo)group in May. I started at the beginning with your very first post and read through to the present. I’m embarrassed to say that I’d never even heard of “Selah.” I am a lurker who never intended to de-lurk, mostly out of shyness. However, you asked to know us, so I felt compelled to sign up for a name and password in order to respond.

    I am wife to Tim (since 10/96) and mother to Matthew (6-1/2) and Rachel (almost 3). My husband is my best friend and an amazing person. My Matthew is a bright, spirited boy who is always on the go. My Rachel is a happy, loving little girl who charms everyone she meets.

    Rachel had open-heart surgery at the age of 6 months at Texas Children’s Hospital. She was there 62 long days, and she has been back once since, in addition to regular cardiology visits. (The last stay we went via Life Flight, something I don’t wish to repeat.)

    We didn’t lose Rachel, for which I am ever thankful. Her heart is not fully repaired, so more surgery may be on the horizon. She also has severe asthma and is developmentally delayed. (We are hoping that she will walk by her 3rd birthday in mid-July.)

    We cannot fully understand your loss, but we do understand some of the ultrasounds, testing, and lead-up events. We battle nearly every day with why our child was chosen to be “special” and why we were chosen to be her parents. But we also know we are blessed with an angel on earth. Are you familiar with “Silverwind”? They have a song that reminds me a little of Rachel. I think it is called “Destiny.”

    My sister miscarried her first child this past winter, which broke our hearts (and hers obviously). I still have sacks and boxes full of baby items which were gathered up to mail to her in the days leading up to her miscarriage. (I really must attend to those!)

    I wish I could share “my blog” with you. But the only blogging I’ve ever done was during Rachel’s hospitalization. And the hospital apparently deletes the pages after a certain amount of time has passed. (I just discovered that last week when I tried to log on and print out some kind wishes Rachel received in the hospital…yet another loss.) If I choose to blog again, I will de-lurk to post to you once more. You are in my prayers.

    Marci B.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/christian_moms_of_tots/?yguid=189343609

  • happe2beme

    I am so excited that you got to keep your purse I was wishing I could bid and let you keep it… So happy for you…I know its only a purse but still…Have a beautiful day!!! Thanks for uplifting me with your testimony everytime I read your blog…Janet

  • Sara

    Thank you for allowing us in. God has so blessed you with a gift of words and the ability to touch so many.

  • Sabrina

    Thank you so much for sharing this. The paragraph about keeping God at arm’s length was especially poignant to me. You were able to describe exactly what I am trying to come out of in my own walk with Him, and I’ve been unable to put it into words. I am so, so touched by your writing.

    Sabrina @ http://knitchick825.blogspot.com

  • Erin

    Wow! Thank you for sharing the sweet story of your twins! What a gift they are!

  • Jessica

    Thank you so much, Angie for sharing your stories! I had written you an email awhile back about my recent miscarriage in April. It was encouraging to hear how quickly you got pregnant again! That brings me so much hope! Once again thank you so much for being so real! God has used you in lots of ways to bring hope to many, many people!
    Love and prayers!
    Jessica

  • Darlene

    no wonder you are able to share an amazing walk with our Lord: He has brought you so close! Thank you again for sharing your true true self.
    And thank you Tippa! You have inspired me today. God bless you.
    Coco belongs with you Angie! God provided a Ram!!
    Bless you,
    Darlene

  • Jeff and Amy

    Praise God for those two wonderful miracles and for sharing it!!! As I have followed your journey it has opened my eyes to my sisters loss of her daughter. I feel so guilty now, knowing I didn’t fully understand her loss, your words have honestly helped me see the pain she must have endured. She is one who can “hide” her feelings well so I never saw the extent of her pain back then which she has now talked about. She and her adopted son, now 6 were discussing his sister and he of course asked why God had taken her?? She got a little emotional and tried to explain, telling him we may not know until we get to heaven, he then left he room for a while and came back in and told his mommy, and I will NEVER forget this, “I asked God why and he said because you wouldn’t have adopted me then” This from a a child who was 5 at the time, gave me chills and brought her comfort through the tears. Sometimes I guess we don’t have to wait for answers, and faith like a child is a blessing!!!!

  • Mathew Meanderings

    What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing.
    I am glad you shared the part about not reading your Bible, and keeping God at an arms length. This is the honesty and truth that is so hard to share, but matters so much. What an incredible work in you the Lord has done. We can see that, because you share with us your struggles, and we can learn you are not just a “perfect person” who has it all together. Thank you!
    We are praying for your friends!

  • wolfenbarger bunch

    Angie,
    Know me, what can I say, God provided me with you and your blog. I just “stumbled” onto it, not really even knowing how I got here except that our faithful father lead me. I have spent hours reading from the beginning, and even though I am not there with you, I cried, prayed, and smiled with you, and for you. God gave you a beautiful gift of writing, and he knew that you would use this gift to touch so many people and share Audreys storey with the world. I have made it my mission to get everyone I know to read your blog, not because we have all gone through life changing ordeal and need someone to relate with (because most of us haven‘t), but because the important stuff gets blurred in everyday life and you keep it so real. So far you have got a growing portion of a smaller town reading you daily (my family and friends refer to your blog as “The Blog”:) Thank you for letting us be a part of your life, and thank you for helping me do some much needed reflection on what is important.
    So much love to you and your family,
    The Wolfenbargers,
    Gemma, Jeremy, Braiden, Trevor, & Audrey Grace

  • natalie

    Sometimes reading about other people’s happy (in the end) baby stories are so hard right now. My family is thoroughly blessed with a healthy, happy, sassy 2.5 year old. But we so badly want another baby. We’ve had two miscarriages, so I completely know the heartache you felt when you lost your sweet baby at 8 weeks. I, too, found myself behaving like the jilted bride. I KNOW the Lord works for good, that all things are for His glory. But in the moment, I had to wrestle with the Lord. I had to lie down at the foot of the cross and BEG for His mercy and grace. There was no quiet acceptance from this daughter. There were screams of anger and wails of sadness.

    Thank you for sharing your life with us. For being so REAL. I attended a funeral a few weeks ago that was so beautifully refreshing for me. Reading your blog has that same effect. I know it must be painful for you to write for us sometimes–to so honestly share your life with us, to be so vulnerable. I can not begin to describe the blessing you bring to me.

  • Honea Household

    Thank you for sharing your life with us. It has encouraged me greatly! I just love you dearly and pray for you very often. Isn’t this blog world awesome?! What a community!

    And by the way, I LOVE pretty notebooks and I too, have quite a few that are empty. Maybe one or two pages written in them. And I don’t scrapbook either! :) It really stresses me out. I mean, REALLY! I started one when Jim and I first married and didn’t even make it to the reception part! Ha!

    Praying for your friend. Hey, and how’s Sara doing?

  • janagibson

    Thank you, thank you for sharing your story. I am truly blessed by reading your story. As so many others that read your blog, I have lost a pregnancy, and although I didn’t carry her for very long, I long to hold her each and every day! I have often tried to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper, but I am not an eloquent writer. When I read your posts, I think-yes, that is it! That is how I felt! Thank you for touching our lives. I also wanted to tell you that Dr. Trabue is my dr. as well. I have wept when you have mentioned him and his staff in your blog. I don’t know what I would have done without them over the past years- they are amazing! I am going to see them next week- can’t believe I am actually looking forward to a yearly GYN checkup- but it is because they have blessed my life so deeply. I truly treasure them, and I am sure you do as well!

    God bless you!

  • Jes

    Angie…

    I am drawn every day to your blog, like a moth to a flame. God blesses my heart through you.

    And, Tippa…what a precious gift you’ve given all of us..not just Angie..but all of us through your kindness and your tender heart!

    I smiled as I read your words about finding out you were having twins…it reminded me of my own ultrasound.

    I was pregnant with our second, and was crushed about it. I know, terrible…but my marriage was in trouble at the time (understatement!), I had an 16 month old that I was totally in love with, and the thought of adding another child that soon was so hard for me…especially considering the circumstances.

    I went in for my ultrasound, and the Dr. was late, so the nurse (who had become a dear friend to me) decided to go ahead and do the ultrasound herself.

    She was rolling away on my tummy and said, “See. There’s your baby. See the head. Right there.” (All the while pointing to help me see)

    Then, the next words out of her mouth were, “Oh! My! And there’s your OTHER baby! Oh! Goodness! You’re having TWO babies! Two! Two!”

    She must have said “Two” TWO HUNDRED TIMES! :)

    I think I went into immediate shock. Now I was about to have 2 babies when I already had a baby…and I hadn’t planned on even one.

    My marriage was hurting so much. I was broken beyond words. And now I was about to have TWO babies!

    I called my Mom and my husband and told them, and my husband was in as much shock as I was.

    For about 20 minutes, all I could do was sit there in shock as I waited for the Doctor to come.

    He came barrelling through the door, saying, “So, you’re having TWO, are you?!”

    Ugh! Is that the only word anyone in that office could find to say?!

    He rolled the little thingamagilie over my tummy on his hunt for two little baby heartbeats, with this huge grin on his face.

    He looked and he looked..but all he found was one heartbeat.

    Then he turned to the nurse and said, “This is why nurses don’t do ultrasounds. That was a butt you saw!”

    Our sweet, unexpected little blessing, our daughter, is now 5 years old. I tell her all of the time that she’s the best surprise blessing that God ever gave me.

    I can’t begin to imagine my life without her.

    She is a living testimony to me every day, that God knows the plans He has for me..plans for good and not for calamity. She, my sweet little Brennan, has taught me more about trusting God than anyone ever has.

    She is this tender hearted, bouncy little breath of fresh air.

    She is the total opposite of her very analytical, black and white thinking big brother.

    Brennan thinks in swirls and colors and twirlies.

    Oh, God knows so much better than we do!

    God not only blessed us with a precious little girl, but he healed our marriage and I know that the timing of her birth is a huge part of what He used.

    She loves the story of how the nurse thought her bottom was her twin. She giggles every time we retell it for her.

    This is really long, isn’t it?!

    Sorry to be a blog-hog. :)

    Have a great day, and enjoy Coco!

    Jes

  • Kiki@Seagulls in the Parking Lot

    So, I rarely comment, I did send you a card. Anyway, I love reading the story of your girls and can’t wait for the ending! And I cried when you told us about Tippa and Coco! That is just too sweet. I didn’t really believe that someone would do that. Thanks, Tippa for showing me that someone would do that!

  • The Griffins

    hello Angie, though you don’t know me, I feel like by reading your story I’ve been eaves-dropping (sp?) on your life. Thank you for sharing and for your candidness of your journey. My friend Jenna Cowart told me to visit your site and I found myself weeping and laughing in the same moment! My husband and I lost our fourth child, Micah Bradford, on jan 3, 2008. Full-term, no knowledge of any complications. I will share with you more through email. As I have heard recently, it’s true that we are comforted by Him as we comforted others. Thank you for your words of comfort and may you be comforted and blessed in your journey of healing.
    In His grace,
    Mindy Griffin

  • mrs. owl

    Angie thank you for your honesty in the struggles. As Christians I don’t know if we realize the comfort we bring to others when we are honest. I am referring to you not reading your Bible. God has blessed me with 3 girls as well…Abigail Grace is my middle.

    God bless you on this road called life!

  • kendra

    Sweet Angie,
    Thank you for sharing you the story of the twins, and your first pregnancy as well. Thank you, as always, for your honesty and transparency, If you can’t tell by the hundreds of comments – it touches hearts!!
    Your honesty about keeping God at an arms length spoke to me, I didn’t realize I had been doing that, but the Lord showed me through your words today that I have been. Thank you.

    And Tippa- Bless you. May God bless you abundantly!! I don’t know what you two are praying for, but I lift whatever it is up before our Father as well!!

    Blessings and love,
    Kendra (Portland Or)

    *Also, I will be praying for your friend as well =-)

  • Hope

    Thank you for always letting me read things I need in the moment. He becomes perfect in our weaknesses.

  • Jen

    Angie
    thanks so much for your post today. It brought me to tears when not much does.
    My husband and I are trying to have our second child and, so far, God has said no. I have been very very afraid that He will forever say no and I will be crushed. However, when He told you to sell that purse, I’ll bet you never dreamed that He would give it right to you, AFTER He used you to earn 600 out of sheer obedience. It is your simple story of the purse that gives me the courage to believe that no matter the outcome of our upcoming IVF, He has better for me planned than I can dream for myself, if only I will obey.
    Please pray for me, Angie, that my faith will be strengthened during this testing and I will be able to say, “all for HIM” no matter what, whether we are blessed with another child or we’re not.
    (However, if you also feel moved to pray that it is His will that we do have a child, that would be most welcome too!)

  • Jess

    Hi Angie…
    I have been following your story, but this is my first comment. I had my first baby at 24 weeks, he is a sweet 9 year old with special needs now. I had twin boys at 24 weeks that lived about a day. And since then I’ve had 2 more preemies that lived.
    I am so sorry for your losses… you are very brave to share your pain with the world… you and your family STAY in my prayers… it is so hard, I know.

  • christi28

    can’t wait for the rest of the story! and i will be praying for your friens!
    blessings to you ~

  • collybird

    It was so wonderful to read the story of your girls and know that it has a happy ending. Those must have been lonely days just you in the hospital then again just you and Ellie.

    I knew in my heart that Coco was to remain with you – that’s just the way it was supposed to be. I’m glad you get to keep your gift – Tippa you are a wonderful person.

    Thinking of Todd running to the UPS store to save Coco makes me smile – like something out of a movie.

    I’ll pray for your friend Angie in hope of a happy ending for her also and that Tippa receives the gift she deserves.

  • Sdperkins

    Angie,
    I have been reading your blog for about a month now. I can’t even begin to tell you the impace it has had on me. You are gifted beyond what you will ever know, my dear.

    I, too, would love to hear the story about your relationship with Christ. How you got to be where you are with Him. How did your relationship with him become so intimate and so real?
    In my own life I am searching and struggling with that exact thing.
    I want to deepen that relationship.

    Prayers are always being said for you and your family.
    Sarah

  • vaneblu

    every time I come in here I leave with tears in my eyes even if it is a beautiful happy story like this one, your girls are beautiful!
    And I am so happy to hear (read) that you are keeping CoCo (you deserve it) and God bless that person that bid on it and returned it to you!
    I’ll have your friend and your family in my prayers.

  • Sara

    Thank you for sharing. I do always enjoy reading your posts, and I even got inspired to set up my own blog! My husband is going to think it is funny!
    Keep posting – I love getting to know you.

  • Lori Jacobsen

    Thank you for that! I have just found your blog and am moved by your devotion and honesty. Thank you for inspiring me to be who God wants me to be!en

  • Kareer Woman

    Thank-you for sharing your story. Thoughts are with you :)

  • The Schauble Journey

    Angie, Reading your story about your twins brings back many memories of my identical twin girls pregnancy, pre-term labor, the dreadful magnesium, and delivery along with the NICU. My husband was deployed and got to meet his angels when they were 7 weeks old (on their actual due date). Thank you for your writings. I may be half way around the world but I feel a connection. They are now 3.5 years old and the joys of my life along with the older sister who is 4.5 years old. Yes she was 15 months old when they were born. I will keep you, your family (immediate and extended), and your friend in my prayers. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t log onto your Blog. Thank you and May God Bless you.

  • Cibele

    Thanks for sharing your life with us… your girls are so precious. I am so glad you got to keep Coco.

  • Liz

    Angie,
    I adore your blog. I check it daily for new posts and pictures. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.

    When you have time, I’d love to email with you and tell you my story, share my testimony and offer you my shoulder/ears whenever you need them. Like so many others of us who are reading, I feel like I know you personally. I wish we lived closer because I’d love to run by & give you a big hug!

    Love ya girl…and thank you for sharing this story! What a blessing that the girls are OK & doing great today!

  • Simply Kelli

    Oh, Angie.
    Every word you ever type means so much to me. I love you! Thank you for sharing your life. Oh, and YAY! You and Coco are MEANT TO BE! Bless Tippa!

    Praying for you always && Praying for your friend..

    Btw, Abby and Ellie are SO cute!

  • Jim, Darlene and Eli

    I enjoy reading your blog, it is the second thing I go to every morning (after the newspaper online). You are showing me a God that I felt in my heart was real, but had never experienced in this way before. I think we are sometimes “brought up” to fear God. But, that isn’t what he wants. He wants to be our father, like our Daddy. When I start looking at him that way, it brings so much more to me. That is the type God I read about in your stories. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Darlene

  • Cole

    As I do with most of your posts, I cried reading this. I have been following your story for several months now and like so many others, I check back each day to see what’s on your mind (tempted to write in your heart b/c you clearly write from there). It took us six years to conceive our son and we went through all the usual ups and downs along the way. We lost one pregnancy on Christmas Eve and then nearly three years later we gave birth to our little man, Cole, on Christmas Eve ’05. He came to me in two dreams, establishing for us his name in the first. We are hoping to conceive again b/c I think siblings are so often a comfort but I have gotten to a place where I feel content with the idea of our family being just the three of us. After all, God delivered on my mantra-like prayer for a healthy, happy son for my husband. I know that sounds old-fashioned but after so many years of fertility treatments that’s what my deepest wish boiled down to. Thanks for sharing the story of your twins with us today. I hope you have a great night!

    Melanie

  • Nicole

    Hi Angie,
    I just wanted to say thank you for telling this story. I’m living in Guam right now and it’s been such a hard year for me being so far away from my family and knowing that I won’t be able to see any of them for another two years, and when I was directed to your story, I didn’t know that it would become such a big part of my life. Here’s a few reasons why… I am able to share it with my sister and it helps me to feel not so far away from her being able to share a part of life. It brings me comfort when I feel lonely and have no one to talk to because everyone back in the states are sleeping. I enjoy feeling pain for you because I’m hoping that it’s taking some of the pain off of your heart for the moment. It makes me feel less selfish because I have something to pray for besides my own petty sadness. I think your family is beautiful. I am not much for spiritual music but your husbands voice gives me goosebumps and makes me want to run out and buy a cd. I don’t have a deep relationship with God and you make me want to revisit that education and let him in a little more. I hope you know what you are doing for everyone by sharing your story. I wish the best for you and your family.
    Nicole

  • Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories

    I seldom truly laugh out loud or cry when I read blogs. Yours is the exception – you make me do both. I sit here with a lump in my throat right now, trying to act normal so my hubby doesn’t think I’m nuts. :) You are beautiful, your heart and soul are so transparent, and it comes across in every word you write.

    Bless you, Angie.

  • A 5 time mom

    Angie, I am touched deeply by your heart…..your true journey into trust. I am glad your babies were okay and thankful for you sharing their story. I am also touched that the woman who won your ebay purse gave it back to you. What an amazing way that you touch lives and then you are touched back. Praise the Lord for people like you who teach people like me.

    Beckie

  • Amy

    Angie-
    Thank you for sharing your story! What a blessing. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Overwhelmed!

    What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

    I’m offering up a prayer now for your friend.

  • Alyssa

    i loved your post on the “pitcher”..you have inspired me and i am going to find my own “pitcher” to break and put back together again…i am looking forward to the lesson and the Grace that will come with it hopefully just as you did. thank you so much for your honesty. you are an encouragement to many mothers, like me, who ache and long for our babies in heaven but want to Glorify the Lord with the rest of our time here…thank you. blessings to you and your family..

  • carrieh

    Angie, I have been reading your blog for awhile, but have never left a message. I feel compelled to leave you one after this last post. I think that you are truly amazing, and your faith is admirable. You wrote that you kept God at an arm’s length, and those words hit home for me…big time. I hope to change that and find the faith that I have lost over the past 18 months. I know that it is possible, in big part because of everything that you have written. Thank you for sharing your story, your family, your highs and lows, and your faith. I pray for you and your beautiful family every day.

    And….I am sure that you have already been asked this question….but have you ever thought about writing a book about your life & faith? It would be amazing and no doubt touch many lives. Just thought that I’d put that one out there!

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jim & Jaylene

    Thank you Angie for your honesty in all this. I have read your story from the beginning, and see God working in your life. I know God is using you to show others how to stay strong in their faith. Your girls are very blessed to have such Godly parents. I pray for you and your family. God Bless.

  • Jess

    Angie,

    First of all…THANK YOU for sharing even more of yourself! Every time you do that, I pray even harder that we’ll be able to meet someday soon!
    Second, YEAH!!! You get to keep Coco. As soon as the bidding ended, I e-mailed the person who won…not knowing at all who it was. I wanted to make sure that if she (assuming it would be a “she”) didn’t know you or your story…then I would introduce her to you. I told her that my wish was to buy Coco and give it right back to you. Let me tell you what a blessing it was to receive an e-mail back from her. Praise God, she did know of you and also wanted YOU to keep your purse. I told Tippa that I got chills as I read it ~ because God blesses us in so many ways ~ and I felt blessed that Tippa had won the bid. It was meant to be. I also think we can all say that we feel blesssed to have you in our lives. :)
    One more thing, I pray that you have been receiving my e-mails before they are deleted in your junk folder. I can only imagine how many you receive on a daily/hourly basis…but I just hope that you are able to salvage the “non-junk” ones!
    Thank you for sharing about your friend. I will be praying for her and my prayers will also continue for you, Todd and the girls.

    Lots of love and hugs,
    Jess :)

  • Amanda

    Thank you Angie for sharing all of your wonderful stories and life experiences with us. In an odd sense I find comfort in your words. I have a beautiful 4 1/2 year old daughter that was born at 24 weeks. She was only 1 pound 7 oz. As I read your entries I am reminded of how we are all connected in some way. May you be blessed and loved all the days of your life!

  • Rachel Boldman

    Hi Angie,
    I have been waiting for the “right” moment to stop lurking around your awesome blog and “introduce” myself and I know that this is the right time because 12/2 is my birthday! Okay so maybe that’s reaching a bit for a “sign,” but 12/2 certainly is a wonderful day! I have been reading your blog and now have it bookmarked and eagerly await your updates. Your story has touched me deeply. Up until my own baby’s delivery two months ago I was working on my Counseling internship (I’m almost done with my Master’s in Mental Health Counseling) at the mother/baby hospital where I delivered. Part of the “job” there is dealing with infant bereavement. Although I was not allowed to participate in the counseling of those families due to my own situation, when I return to complete my internship I will be directly involved in their care. The Lord has, for some reason, given me a heart for bereavement. Your blog has given me new insight into how He can use even such deep tragedies. I could write about grief, bereavement, and God’s grace for hours, but I’ll just this now by saying hello, my name is Rachel, nice to “meet” you! My blog can be found at: http://rachelboldman.blogspot.com

  • Jen

    I am in love with your blog and the way that honestly love Jesus (and sometimes don’t so much). Thanks for being authentic and living life alongside the hundreds of us.
    And where can I get that David Crowder song that plays first on your blog? I can’t find the song or CD anywhere, but I’m in love with it!

  • Tracey

    Can I just tell you how many of your feelings resound so strongly in me? They take me back to my early days of a very precarious pregnancy and a very sick baby. I know that place; I’ve been there, and I reacted much as you did. Thanks to you, I started blogging my story (www.justme.typepad.com), hopefully to benefit others who are in that place and hurting as I (and you!) have.

    If I were to meet you IRL, I’d give you a great big hug. Please know that your honesty and openness is much appreciated, and that you are prayed for.

    ~Tracey

  • Peas on Earth

    A wonderful story. Don’t we all have wonderful stories? I find it exciting that even those who do not yet have a relationship with God have a story – and that that story can be part of their God-story, too, someday! Thank you for encouraging so many and inspiring even more.

    I have a friend who had a baby 2 1/2 years ago with severe genetic problems. They knew nothing of it until she was born. She had several surgeries before they finally had a diagnosis. After two weeks they took her off of life support and kissed her goodbye.

    With a 50% chance of having another child with the same problem, they decided not to have any more children. God had another plan. She is now pregnant again, this time with a boy, and the amnio shows that he does not have the genetic syndrome that Jennabeth died from. God is full of surprises, isn’t he? :-)

    Blessings to you and yours ~

  • Nicole

    Angie, you are such a graceful and beautiful writer! I hope you don’t mind that I just submitted your blog to oprah.com — I think your story and your message of faith and hope should be shared with as many people as possible! I would love to see you featured on her show!

    Thanks for sharing and inspiring,

    Nicole
    http://messerschmidtfamily.blogspot.com/

  • Jenni Saake

    What a journey with your girls! Thank you for sharing. Our oldest son was born full term with no preterm labor, but weighed just 4pounds13oz. I started contractions with our daughter at 25 weeks, but by God’s grace and medical help, we went a full 39 weeks! And with our youngest son contractions started up at 19 weeks and we went to 36 weeks.
    Praying also for your friend. Please let her know that she is on my heart.
    {{{hugs}}}
    Jenni Saake
    Mommy to 3 on earth and 3 in Heaven
    http://www.HannahsHopeBook.com

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Our lifes become more connected each time I read your post. I was one of the many that asked you to share your story (Sarah)and now I know why…My Kenadie was a 32 weeker at 4.11 and 15 day NICU grad with resp distress and “episodes” she came home on an apnea monitor. There is only one other thing that makes me happier than finally bringing home a healthy baby after 11 years of trying, it is to hear other stories with the same result. We share so much in common and it is an HONOR to know you. Our angels are probably up there fighting over toys…my Stanford is more than like pulling Audreys hair, and If she is anything like her mama, she is pulling back. You are amazing and you have brought me closer to God. Yes, I am the “back then” you. I know (knew) of him and his “house” but never bothered to stop by or say Hey on a Sunday. I’ve recently asked my online moms support group how to go about “finding him” after so long since I was embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I don’t own a Bible and for reason unknown that makes me cry. Someone told me that what I feel is him whispering to me, to my heart and funny thing is I feel it. I am actively researching churches (but very few allow a streaker to run through during service) :) I thought it would have been a great way to break the ice for the 1st time in YEARS but apparently God only needed to see me in my Bday suit ONCE!! Where has his sense of humor gone?!?! Oh yeah, it went to my hips. (AMEN)

    SO IF I HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY, THANK YOU ANGIE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART…FOR NOTHING…FOR EVERYTHING AND FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!

  • Allmykids123

    Thank you Angie for your inspirational blogs. I look forward to reading your words every day. I’m sending my prayers to you each night, my friend.

  • Melissa Irwin

    I love you Ang! Those seem to be the only appropriate words right now.

  • Mila in PA

    Angie~ Thank you for your words… sharing your story with us. I haven’t walked the same path as you, but feel a kinship as we are both mothers. Thru your writing, you are sending me on to reflect on my Blessing of family and motherhood. I thank God for my family and children everyday, but you shed new light on things I thought I knew so well.
    I had to smile—I have stacks of lovely notebooks and scrapbooking supplies gahtering dust! I take loads of photos and hope they help me remember all the stories of our lives here in PA.
    Love, Mila

  • Nicole

    After I left you a comment, I got to thinking about you saying that you don’t scrapbook and wanted you to know that I would LOVE to put a scrapbook together for you! Just let me know by getting back to me on my blog!! :c)

  • Christie in Dallas, TX

    Angie,I’m an avid reader, always anxious to get another glimpse into your heart. The pain you’ve been through is tremendous – I can’t imagine. How amazing that your pain has led you to a place where you can tell others that Jesus is still Lord, some days in a loud yell, others in a quiet whisper. My Mom found out at the beginning of the year that she has cancer, and God has used her blog to get the message out loud and clear that He is still God, and He is still Good. She wouldn’t have been able to sit and have that conversation with as many people as God has brought to her site. And He’s met them there, just like he does here.

    You are a gifted writer. You’ve paid a high price so that we could read your story and our lives would be changed.

    Thanks for letting us in.

  • Mary J.

    Angie,
    I have been following your blog in the past few months, but only in the last few posts have I come to realize that you are a Godsend to all of us. Not only do you write the words that you believe in Him, but I truly feel that you live your life His way. I can so feel that jumping out at me when I read your words. I find myself reading your words, and re-reading your words because it gives me so much calm during the storm. And I Thank you.
    I am also in awe at how much strength you have after all that has happened. Never stop believing in Him for you will one day be able to hug and kiss Audrey and Luke again.
    I’ve also included the Prayer of Saint Francis below. I hope the words bring you some calm in the storm.

    Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
    where there is hatred, let me sow love;
    where there is injury, pardon;
    where there is doubt, faith;
    where there is despair, hope;
    where there is darkness, light;
    and where there is sadness, joy.
    O Divine Master,
    grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
    to be understood, as to understand;
    to be loved, as to love;
    for it is in giving that we receive,
    it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
    and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
    Amen.

  • SingerMamaMelody

    Dear Angie,

    Thank you so much for sharing the story of your miracle twins. They are so beautiful. I can relate to the magnesium sulfate craziness because I had to be on that for Preeclampsia with my daughter two years ago. It is yucky stuff, and I must say I giggled when I read about how you hallucinated because I remember feeling really bizarre and thinking that I was seeing things too! I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of my little boy (now 38 weeks) and hoping that I won’t have any Preeclampsia this time – it would be great to avoid the mag. again.

    My husband bought me the Selah 4 cd collection for my birthday and I’m loving listening to it. It comforts my soul and encourages me, so please tell your husband thank you from me!

    Blessings to you…I’m still praying for you and think of you often…

    Love,
    Melody from MN

  • Brandy

    Thank you. God is truly using you everyday in so many ways! Your words always bring me hope and comfort. I don’t comment often, but I read everyday!

  • We are in this life together….

    God Bless you Angie. I am addicted to reading your blog daily. Your words increase my faith and inspire me for a deeper walk with the Lord.
    Your girls are such a blessing! I can speak from my heart when I say that when you have had such a hard road getting your children in this world they just seem a little more precious. My two are true miracles from the Lord above.
    Thank you for sharing your life with me (and thanks for the tea idea…think I will go make some too!).

  • Linda

    Angie:
    I can’t believe how your journaling has helped and lifted my spirit. The honesty you are showing us flows so evenly across the pages. Through difficult times you have shown us how to deal with them in a Christ like way. I am praying for you, Todd, Ellie, Abby, and Kate. May God continue to strengthen you as you go through this difficult time. I am also praying for Nicole and her family. Our God is an Awesome God!!

  • Brysmommy, Kenswifey

    Angie..I want you to know that you inspired me as well..if you get a chance..go to my blog and read “Give Unto Others..Not” and also read the Sequel to it…you are amazing..and I absolutely get refreshed every time I read your blog…

  • mommyofboys

    Angie,
    I still read your blog everyday and I email and comment to you. But I just want you to know I think of you guys everytime I think of my little boy. Losing a child is very hard but your strength inspires me.

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy making a daily stop to read your blog. Sometimes I see how many comments you have and think wow, how do you have time to read them all. Thanks for your thoughts and daily inspiration.

    Lisa & Madeline

  • claire

    THANK YOU!!!!!!!

  • Emily

    Angie-
    You are an inspiration. How incredible it is that you’ve reached so many people through your hardships.
    Thank you once again.

  • Debbie

    Children are a precious gift from God. They aren’t our children but God’s children that he loans to us. There is no greater gift then to find out that you are expecting another child especially after you’ve previously suffered the loss of a child. There is also no greater fear! I lost my first child at ten weeks. Everyone thought that it wasn’t a big deal but it was to me, I had grown to love this baby who’s heartbeat I would never hear. We waited a year before trying to conceive again and one year to the day that I lost our first child, my daughter Susan was conceived. It wasn’t emotionally or physically and easy pregnancy, I was scared that I would loose another child and meanwhile I was suffering from severe morning sickness which by the way wasn’t just in the morning. It was all day!
    I remember the first time we went for the first ultrasound. I was scared to death that they would tell me that the baby hadn’t developed again. As I entered the sonogram room and lay down on the table, I was filled with fear. And when the technician told me she couldn’t see very well because my bladder wasn’t full enough, my heart sank. She then filled a cup of water and sat me back down out in the small hallway. I sat down and cried like a baby. She didn’t understand what was wrong with me so I began to tell her about my last pregnancy. At that time she told me “that there was something there but that she couldn’t see it very well.” My heart leaped for joy and I felt relief. But what I wanted them to tell me was that everything was going to be okay and all they could tell me was that it appeared to be a viable pregnancy. That was of very little comfort to me. I was thrilled when we made it past the first trimester. And then there were the tests that have to be done throughout pregnancy, I thanked God each time we received good news. And then at 32 weeks, on a Sunday evening, I went into labor with my daughter. By the time they stopped labor with magnesium sulfate I was dialated to 3cm. Not good! The morning after I was admitted, my dear husband, my sister and my mother were talking to my doctor about me and the baby as if I wasn’t there. Honestly I was so sick from the magnesium sulfate and so tired from no sleep that maybe I appeared to be out of it. But I heard my doctor tell them that he doubted that I would make it another week because I was dialated too far. He told them that we were looking at my delivering in another week or less. I can’t tell you the fear that came over me. I just couldn’t loose another child again. I began to cry. Then the strangest thing happened to me and to this day I can remember it like it was yesterday, God spoke to me. He told me not to be afraid because no matter what I had to endure I would hold my daughter. Everything would me alright. The following Tuesday I was released from the hospital and sent home on bedrest until my 36th week of pregnancy. I was also place on magnesium oxide to be taken around the clock to prevent labor. This medication made me feel so sick but I was willing to do anything to protect my baby. The next Thursday evening I was back in the hospital having my labor stopped again. I was beyond sick from so much magnesium sulfate not to mention I was physically and mentally exausted. I thought I was going to die and even my mother was scared because she had never seen me look so sick. The following Sunday I was released to go home and of course it was the same orders, bedrest and magnesium oxide. I ate just enough to keep the baby healthy, I had no appetite at all. Mentally I was broken and I wasn’t sleeping at night. I was totally worn out! We managed to go a little over a week before I was back in the hospital having labor stopped for a third time. I told them I can’t do this anymore. The selfish person in me took over and said “just let her be born.” Then my doctor who wasn’t on duty called me and begged me to have the magnesium sulfate just one more time for my daughters sake and I agreed. This time I stayed in the hospital for nearly a week. I was 34 weeks pregnant by this time and forty weeks seemed like forever. I was hospitalized for false labor at least three more times before giving birth to my daughter at 37 weeks and two days. God had come through on his promise to me. Against all odds and to the doctors amazement my daughter was born full term. I was blessed with the first of many miracles in my life. I never look at her without remembering what I went through to bring her into this world and I know without doubt that I wouldn’t hesistate to do it again. She was worth all of it and more.
    I wanted to share my story with you Angie as you have shared yours with me. You have opened up your heart and lives to us and I wanted to do the same with you. I know we have suffered losses but we have also been greatly blessed. God is good!

    Your Friend in Christ,
    Debbie

  • tickledpink

    I have been praying for you and your family, and I have also been praying for Nicol and Greg. I sent you an email awhile back. Angie, you are touching so many lives by your blog. You are so encouraging to me! I hope that I can be the Godly woman that you are not only by your words, but also by your actions. Your daughters are absolutely precious! I love the picture of them. I will also be praying for your friend. Many hugs!:) Oh, and congrats on getting to keep Coco!!

  • Mommy 2 Be

    Hello Angie-
    This is the first time I have written on your “wall” and I feel so honored. Let me first start by saying that you are an amazing women and I long to be as close to God as you are someday! I am what some may call a “new” follower of Christ, but I have known him all my life. By reading your blog for the last several months, it has shown me what great things that God can do and I am truly amazed. I found your blog through a fellow high school class mate of mine Jessica Shim-Turner. Her and I never talked in high school and I am not even sure if she knows who I am, but her and I are “friends” on Facebook and she writes on you once in awhile so I got to reading Bring The Rain. Thanks for your time and letting you know I think of you and your family often and always say a prayer! God Bless you and your family!

  • RZ

    Again, I am here. I don’t know why I’m here but I’m hoping to figure it out. Someone sent me this link via email. I watched it, cried–alot, and thought of you.

    I hope the link works
    http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

  • Mommy2Munchkins

    Thank you for sharing your story. I have had similar experiences with both of my pregnancies except not to the same extent. I start contracting at 23 to 24 weeks and am put on medication and bedrest for my entire pregnancy. Thankfully my daughter was born just at 37 weeks (17 months ago) and my son is due to be born on Friday (I stayed on the medication a little longer so he’s actually 38 weeks).

    I know the fear…I remember crying like crazy with my daughter because we didn’t know what was going to happen and I knew she was too little to live.

    I never had to be on the Magnesium thankfully but I’ve heard it’s bad.

    You have such an incredible testimony. Thank you for being so raw and open with us. You touch so many people’s lives from your experiences.

    I truly believe that God allows us to go through so many trials so we can walk beside others going through the same trials or so we can shine his love even through all the bad.

    Erin

  • Leah

    Thank you so much for your story. I was one of the ones so eager to know the story of your twins! I love your honesty . . . it is so encouraging! Thank you for writing. And I too, get bogged down by all the options in scrapbooking :)

  • Chanandaler

    I just want you to know that I am blessed every time I read your posts. Thank you for your honesty and your pure heart.

    Btw, you have a beautiful family.

  • Charissa

    Angie,

    I have been reading your blog for a while now. In awe of your spirit and your strength and the faith you have! I have a healthy beautiful 11 month old baby boy. I am actually writing on behalf of missionaries in Haiti. There son was just taken from them suddenly on Tuesday morning and for some reason I am feeling lead to tell you this. Please be in prayer for them as I know you will be!

    Thank you for inspiring me in so many ways, in ways I don’t feel comfortable sharing on a comment page.

    By the way their blog is http://pyesinhaiti.blogspot.com/. Our pastor’s blog is http://www.jonathanbow.com/. It has a little back story posted today and yesterday.

  • marlyse

    thanks Angie for sharing your story and sharing about the mercy of Jesus! can you share some pics of your wedding and another story?!

  • Spencer Girl

    Angie,
    I’m Angie, also. I have three children (two boys and a girl), the oldest is four, and apparently, I am raising the male version of your Kate. His name is Brady (He’s two, too). I would say they need to meet sometime but I’m a little afraid of the force they would be together. I have been reading your blog for about a month now and have been so blessed by your very honest depiction of your faith. I am glad to “introduce” myself to you and will continue to pray for you and your family. P.S. I had to be on the magnesium sulfate drip with my second pregnancy and I fell asleep mid-sentence while talking. . .with my pastor.

  • Lou Girl

    Angie ~ I have been following your blog now for a few months and have been truely blessed by your words. Your strength is more than amazing to me, which obviously comes from such a strong faith. A while back you were answering questions about when you came to know the Lord and you said that was “another post someday.” Well – I’m praying for your words and your fingers to type swiftly because I am patiently waiting on that post. I am a new believer (okay, it’s been almost six years, but I feel like I’m still a baby-believer) and from some of your posts it sounds like we had some pretty similar backgrounds. Your knowledge of God’s word amazes me – would you care to share your daily routine in regards to devotions and such? On a side-note (and very random I might add): do you ever feel like if you become knowledgeable about something that that something you just learned about has a better chance of happening to you? Perhaps it’s God’s way of helping you through? I’m probably making no sense…anyway – thanks Angie – I know you don’t feel like the greatest writer, but you are and you have wonderful things to share with the world. Keep on moving those fingers.

  • Reason to Rejoice!

    Beautiful! I love pregnancy and birth stories. I had to be on magnesium sulfate with my daughter. Actually, after my daughter was born. I had severe pre-eclampsia with her and then had HELLP syndrome afterwards. Anyway, IT IS HORRIBLE!!!! I thought my eyeballs were going to fall out of my head! TERRIBLE! Anyway, what about Kate’s pregnancy and birth? I know you have mentioned before that it was not as eventful but was it totally uncomplicated? You are a gifted writer. God’s love shines through you so brightly. Such a sweet spirit! Thank you for sharing!

  • mom22girls

    Thank you as always for your honesty and sharing your story, I am always touched and moved. Prayerfully,
    Michelle

  • juldos

    Dear (((Angie))),
    I’ve been reading your blog a couple of weeks now and have been so blessed. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I pray for you each day. I loved reading about your twins.
    In His love,
    Julie D.
    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/juldos
    p.s. I am so glad you got to keep your Coach Bag!!!

  • brightwells

    Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you for sharing yourself, your family and your beautiful girls with all of us. To read your writings truly makes me crave a stronger and better relationship with Christ. I seem so lost most days as if I don’t really know where to begin but coming here makes me feel better and warms my heart. Thank you!

  • queenoftheclick

    Angie,

    Kate’s story is next I hope because as we could see from the video she is quite a firecracker.

    I read your entire story twice. There was just so much to take in not just about Audrey, but about your devotion to Him.

    Yesterday, I read the Book of Ruth in the Bible. I didn’t even own a Bible until yesterday. Audrey’s story is a powerful one to move a stubborn woman in Brooklyn.

    Again, thank you.

    Marlene

  • Diane

    Angie, I’d often wondered about this story but never asked. Thanks for sharing apart of it with us. :)

  • Amy

    Thank you for the gift of story Angie. It really is wonderful to hear it as it can’t help but bring the reader to a closer relationship with God as He is surely all over your words and the unbelievable things he did in your family that sweet day.

    Your miracles are lovely.

    Amy

  • KatieM11

    Angie,

    I have posted a comment before, but I feel like there’s so much I want to tell you and I guess it can be summed up with two words. Tthank you. When I was reading about your time in the hospital and learning how to keep God at arm’s length, I’m there. I want that relationship with HIm SO badly but I don’t know how to start. There are plenty of friends I could turn to but I’m scared. I’ve been praying, but not like I should and only when I feel like I need Him. I love how God is using you to reach out to so many people and that seed that was planted in my heart so long ago is finally starting to grow :-) Thank you for sharing your heart to all of us and I will continue to pray. God bless!

    Katie

  • Kristi

    Hi there – I wanted you to know that, although our story isn’t the same, it shares so many similarities. I was hospitalized at 29 weeks with our daughter, on mag sulfate for 2 days and brethene for 6 weeks (every 4 hours) – and stayed in the hospital until she was born. I had gone to my OB during a lunch break at work. Then, with our second, I was on bedrest for 8 weeks, and in the hospital for 3 weekends of that time. He came early, at 35 weeks. Both our children are blessings to us. People always comment that they could “never have stayed in the hospital that long”, but you do what you have to do for your children. And, there were MANY nights of crying (to my nurses and my husband) because it was hard – but it was worth it! I’m so glad to see you are doing better.

  • Rebekah

    What a beautiful story to go with beautiful girls! And I will take it as a personal affirmation that they were born on my birthday. :)

  • stacy

    “I hardly ever opened my Bible…I learned to keep Him at arm’s length in the event that He let me down. I hate that part of the story…” I LOVE that part of the story because I have been there with God and He pursued me. He pursued me and I came to know Him for who He really is, not what I had made Him. Thank you for sharing that part of your story. It is part of mine, too.

  • Jenny

    Angie, I stumbled across your blog late one night and have read it everyday since. I check everyday in hopes of a new entry. I know God is teaching me through your site and God led me here.

    I really enjoyed reading the miracle of your twins. I have my own set of miracle twins. After two years of infertility I was finally pregnant! I was shocked because I was told I should give up trying and look into adopting. So imagine my suprise when they told me it was twins!

    At 15 weeks my water broke on baby A’s sac. I was told that I had a 1-2% chance of carrying my babies to term. After 3 days in the hospital I was sent home for 14weeks of bed rest, that is in the 1-2% that I didn’t miscarry. 3 days later I saw a high risk pregnancy specialist and was told that baby A’s sac was completed sealed and full of amniotic fluid! God healed me!

    And here I am 2 years later with 2 beautiful and active and healthy and precious boys. Their names are JD and Jonathan.

    There’s much more to my story, but I tried to make it brief. I just wanted to share with you another miracle. God is so good and faithful.

    Thank you Angie, for all your writings. You are touching many lives.

    Blessings,

    Jenny

  • Joy

    That picture at the end is so precious! Thank you for sharing your twins’ stories! I have a daughter named Abigail too and she is the light of my world!!! I don’t like “labels” but she is just a class-clown. Constantly trying to make people laugh! She’s 15 months old.

    I loved the story you shared and I hope you share more like it! My miscarriage, ironically enough, helped soften my cold, dead heart towards God. It’s strange how the scary, foreign situations help us to grasp to Him even more!

  • Jess

    I just so appreciate your honesty!
    Thank you, once again, for sharing your heart so we can more truly examine our own.

    ~Jess S.

  • Farmboy and Buttercup

    I have just started reading your blog and so enjoy your faith and authenticity.

    I believe God is using you in a very special way to help bring other women back to the feet of the ONE that can be trusted always.

  • Sue

    Angie,
    I just wanted to comment on what a sweet picture that is of your babies. You have a great eye for really seeing beautiful moments. I’m going to try to remember to take more picture of the backs of my kids when they are unaware and more natural. I always tend to pose them and they are getting sick of it (I am a scrapbooker and am always looking for that perfect shot).

    Thanks again for your transparency. You really do give great food for thought and are always an encouragement in our faith walks.

    As always I continue to pray….

    Sue

  • Holly

    What a precious post! Our girls were prayed into this world, much like yours. Each life is a miracle and each life has an enormous purpose. My husband and I are comtemplating IVF for the second time, but are waiting on a clear voice from God. Please help us pray that He will answer and we will be sensitive to what He says. Thank you for taking us down memory lane– can’t wait to hear more!
    Holly

  • Hilty Sprouts!

    Angie,
    Your writing is so incredibly beautiful and REAL. Thank you for being so transparent about your life. God is using you to rekindle my relationship with him. I have not been through what you have but I have had my own set of troubles. Instead of truly turning to Him in my need, I have drifted away and chosen to live in crisis mode for far too long. Thank you for being a conduit for God’s voice to me.

  • Cindy

    Thank you for sharing your stories! I’ve have read your blog the last several months and you have really touched my life in so many ways.

  • Eva Foster

    Angie you are so amazing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I can’t get enough of your posts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in raw honesty. I feel like I’ve known you forever! Your family and your friend are in my prayers always. Many Blessings, Eva

  • The Bullard’s

    I also relate on the part about loving and believing in God so much it hurts, but not picking up my bible. It is something I actually pray about all the time. I don’t know what it is.

    The story about your purse it so inspiring to me. God really tested your faith to see if you would sell it and then take it to be mailed…and then so sweetly, he gave it back to you. You are such an awesome testimony of someone who is truly surrendering to Him.

    I just had a baby 2 months ago and I pray over her every hour it feels like. I hope she grows up truly surrendered to her Lord Jesus.

  • RSR2003

    so so so so so so so sweet angie. really. thank you. i check here everyday because I know i’ll be so blessed by your words.

    Anna Eli’z'abeth is our other girl’s name – just beautiful :)

    Praising the Lord with you for your beautiful twin daughters :)

    Rosie……..:)
    sdgphotography.blogspot.com

  • RSR2003

    oops. i forgot – i listen to your playlist too while I proof/edit my photos. i listen to scandelous night over and over and over :)

    thank you angie – may you be blessed as you allow the Lord to bless others through yoU!

    Rosie…..:)

  • Rissa Mendes

    Angie.. Thanks so much for the story.. Your family is continuously in my prayers…Oh, by the way.. got my blog up & running again.. I posted some pictures of the outreach we did sunday nite.. if you want check it out its under Praise in the Park.
    Praying you guys have a very blessed week!
    Much Love,
    Rissa :)

  • Heather

    I have often wondered the story behind your precious twins. Thank you for sharing.

    I found myself identifying quite a bit with the part where you said you believed in God, loved God, yet you didn’t open your Bible or fully rely on Him. I feel like I’m in that limbo, that I’m a passive Christian. I suppose I have some soul searching and praying to do.

    How amazing is Tippa? What a wonderful story!! She and your friend are in my prayers.

  • Christina

    Wow, can I write a novel here for you? lol. I have followed your blog for a while, like many out there I have remained quiet and watching for a long time. It really struck a cord with me tonight because our stories are so similar, yet so very different of course. That’s sure the beauty of life isn’t it?

    My first son was born at 32 weeks and weighed 3 lbs 11 oz. I had developed toxemia at 31 weeks and I too was on the evil magnesium sulfate, horrible stuff isn’t it? I can’t imagine being on it as long as you were, 7 days was too much if you ask me.

    He was such a journey to get here, we dealt with infertility for 2 1/2 years and were so desperately happy to have our chance to become parents. At 20 weeks we had some complications and were watched very closely. At 26 weeks they said his umbilical cord had a problem and we did NST’s twice a week and ultrasounds once a week. When I developed toxemia they sedated me so to speak and finally had to deliver him c-section when my body was not functioning the way it should… He was in the NICU for 32 days and came home the day after Easter.

    At 3 weeks they found that he had a cleft in the soft palate and would eventually need surgery. It terrified me to have yet another thing wrong but I was just so grateful to the Lord for giving me my son that I didn’t care. At 9 months he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and, once again, I was able to know that my baby was going to be okay.

    My daughter was born around his due date the following year, what a beautiful surprise she was. It really helped heal my heart, I had so many raw emotions after his birth that surprised me. They were joined by another brother 9 months ago and I am just one of the most grateful women in my humble home with them.

    I appreciate other moms who understand that life can be painful. I appreciate other moms who understand that not everyone has that beautiful picture perfect life. My son is 4 now and his spirit is bigger than life, even if his body is not. He is still very small and deals with minor concerns but none of that matters in my eyes of course.

    I also wanted to tell you that your daughters will definitely carry this with them. They watch you and know that you are strong, some day they will understand why. I watched my own mother lose a baby boy at 22 weeks of pregnancy and despite never physically meeting the baby she lost so suddenly my siblings and I were all touched by that baby and all have a place in our hearts we carry him around in.

    ((HUGS)) to you and I am so glad to know there are others there who can move through their struggles and still know the God is in control.

  • Lisa

    Angie,
    Thank you for your wonderful blog! Your honesty and the way you tell your story is beautiful. You are such an inspiration. Your kindness and goodness shines through in all your posts! You, your family, Nicol, their family, and your friend, are all in my prayers.
    God Bless You,
    Lisa

  • The Roost’er

    Angie –
    I’m way down on the list here, but wanted to share with you that my sweet little boy broke his piggy bank on accident and he cried like only he can (he wears his heart on his sleeve, like his mama). I brought him to your site and shared a bit of your story with him. And we googled a youtube video on pottery wheels…it was a beautiful teachable moment and I jsut wanted to share it. We still have to fix piggy…I don’t know how you were able to fit the pieces together on your pitcher. Well, I do. But, what a feat (with God’s help).

    Bless you as you make your way along this path. I check in frequently just because I am always so touched by your words.

    ~Karin

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Angie,

    I can always come to your site & receive inspiration, laughter, etc. just whatever I’m in need of you seem to have readily available. THANK YOU PRECIOUS FRIEND!

    I love your stories about finding out you were pregnant, the first ultrasound, the library. The library clerks description of her twin cousins….aren’t people just a little to honest sometimes!

    I can relate to your “keep Him at arm’s length…”. For me, I always think that God is so busy trying to take care of others, that I hate to bother Him with my problems….I visualize Him standing there, phone in one hand thinking “what do you need now, Rose?” I have a tendency to “not bother Him”. I know that He is watching over me & He knows what I need. But, I’m told He wants to hear the requests from me too.

    I know that I would not be alive today, without our God. He has carried me through so many physical problems & a very hard emotional time a few years ago. Without Him, I would have given up & called it quits! You hear people make the statement, but do they really mean it…..I do, I couldn’t go to bed at night without knowing that HE is on my side, He is watching over me & HE alone will get me through whatever lies ahead. God is so good, Angie. He has sent you my way. I’ll be forever grateful to Him for the blessing of your friendship.

    I love the story of your twins. I felt like someone who had not eaten for several days….the hunger to read on & on to see what happened next & next. Yes, “another day, right?”.

    I was telling my son about the final “Coco” bid & he smiled. Tippa, you are a blessing.

    Your pregnant friend…I will remember in my prayers, Angie.

    I love the picture!

    Love from Rose in Nashville

  • Russ, Anna and Pepper

    First, thank you for your beautiful words, you honesty and your courage from faith! I have followed your inspiring blog for a while now and never commented. So happy you have such beautiful and real memories to go back to and have shared with us. I will be thinking of your friend and of course of you and your family every single day!!!!!!

  • Russ, Anna and Pepper

    Oh, and I totally forgot! It’s okay, I don’t scrapbook either, ha!!!!!

  • sumi

    I have tears in my eyes reading about God showing you his precious heart through Tippa. Thanks for being his hands and feet, Tippa! I’d give you a great big hug right now if it were possible. I’m praying that God would grant you that thing you have been asking for, just because of your faithfulness to him.

    I love the story of Abby and Ellie, Angie. Once again you pointed us towards God and his faithfulness. I’ll admit I had a hard time cracking open my bible for a spell too, after Jenna left us.

    Praying for your pregnant friend and sending lots of love to you today,

    Sumi

  • Hyde Family

    Angie,

    Although this is the first time I have responded to your post, I have been reading your blog for many months now and have been praying for you and your family through it all. I also have been keeping up with the lastest on Steven Curtis Chapman and his family after the loss of their daughter. I don’t know, but two of my favorite artists and their families are going through some pretty tough trials and it makes my problems look so very minimal in comparison. I caught the episode of Front Row Live with Selah on GMC the other night and it was awesome. I know the Lord had me turn my TV on that night because the last two times I’ve tried to see them in concert, it was canceled due to family situations(which I completely understand)first with baby Audrey’s situation and then again when Todd’s sister lost baby Luke. I told my husband, who is a pastor and doesn’t get much time away, that it would probably be a long time before we would ever get to see Selah in concert again. Then I turned on my TV and they were there. I particularly love the song “Through it All”, which just so happened to be written by my cousin, but it really speaks of how we get through this life if we just keep God first. This song keeps ringing true even now, as we live in a part of Wisconsin that has been devastated by the recent floods. Many in our town are now without homes and it is very sad, but through it all, God is going to get the glory. He is already working here. I’m sorry to be so lengthy, but I felt compelled today to reply to you personally and not just in my prayers.

    Oh,on a side note… I was listening to the radio yesterday on my way to work (soft rock) and I heard a song (I’m not sure of the exact title) called “Crazy in Love With You” by Nicole Sponberg. I was just wondering if this was your sister-in-law? It sounded just like her and the last name isn’t exactly real common:) Just wondering!!

    Please tell Amy that she did a great job leading worship by herself in Madison, WI. We were there and throughly enjoyed ourselves and the cause for which we were helping. Hopefully I will talk to you soon.

    Kari Hyde

  • Super B’s Mom

    I’ve never commented before, but I was so moved by this post that I knew I must. THANK YOU for your honesty in how you described your emotions during that trying time.

    We tried to have a baby for several years before we finally became pregnant through IVF. At 27 weeks, I felt betrayed when I went into labor. I know exactly how you felt when you said you kept God at “arm’s length.” I too, distanced myself from God during that time in my life. I was afraid to feel assured of God’s protection for my baby – fearing I would be let down at any moment.

    Later when God gave us a healthy baby boy after 8 weeks of bedrest, I too went running back and fell at His feet and thanked him for his grace and mercy.

    I can’t tell you just how much you inspire me to be a better Christian. Your blog is a constant inspiration in my life. May God bless you and again, THANK YOU for this post.

  • Gail Lynn

    What a darling picture of those two precious girls at the end of the blog about them!!!! I LOVE to read your blogs and am praying for you and your family, Sara’s family and now Nicol’s family. I too, have experienced many losses in 2007; Mama and Dad passed away 101 days apart and my Christian husband filed for a divorce (can you say “blindsided”?) in between their deaths. I feel I know you – and I love you/one Christian sister to another.

  • Melissa

    We don’t know each other and I’ve never posted before. But I have been reading your blog, and read clear back to the beginning. Your openness and honesty with all your readers truly touches my heart. I long to have the strong Christian faith that you do. I will continue working on it as I work on other issues throughout my life. God bless you!

  • Kyra Newberry

    Thank you for sharing the story of your girls! My story is so similiar to yours, except I didn’t make my goal of 30 weeks. My twins were born at 29 wks and weighed 2-8 and 2-10. With LOTS of prayers and miracles they are wonderful little 9 year old boys today. I was put on bedrest at 21 weeks and in the hospital at 26 weeks. I completely understand how hard it is. May God continue to bless your family. You and your sister in law are still in my constant thoughts and prayers.

  • Precious Blessings

    You are such an inspiration to me and no doubt all your other readers. I also have twins and though, I do not have a story to compare to yours I just want to thank you for like the millionth time for being you and sharing such blessed moments with us.
    It is always like a breath of fresh air to me when I read your posts. Like I have mentioned in the past, though we do not know each other I feel like I have known you forever.

    I pray the Lord continues to bless you as you have me.
    Thank you Angie :)

  • Suzanne

    Angie,
    I had found your blog through another blog. I have sat here this morning and read backwards to forward.
    I have laughed, I have cried, but most importantly I have been touched and challenged.
    Your words, your faith, your grace are so inspiring to me. Your blog has been a great reminder to me of who my God is and that in all things I need to trust in Him.
    Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

  • Tamara

    Angie, I love how very real you are. This last story reminds me much of my friends Daniel and Raschelle. They recently had a baby at 24 weeks gestation and have since then been commuting the 90 miles to the hospital daily. We have been praying so hard for little Elizabeth as she fights for her life and for the parents as they deal with everything that surrounds them. Monday night Daniel’s dad was in an accident which took his life. What family can with stand so much tragedy? Yes, we hope in loving God but heart ache hurts, right?!? But you know and have been willing to share with so many how God reigns. Daniel and Raschelle’s story breaks my heart and I wish I could do something for them. As I read your blog today, I wondered if maybe a gift that would bless them is a pretty vase that they can break and put back together. Thanks so much for being you!

  • Bestill

    Angie, thank you so much for sharing your story of the girls. I too have a miracle child and we are closing in on her 4th birthday. When I read your story of Audrey I remembered the day they took Tori off of the vent and the absolute terror I felt that night when she quit breathing again and had to be resuscitated. I was thinking that my fear of losing her was so brief in the grand scheme of things and I realize once again how amazing you are. I know that you are getting your strength from the Lord, but you are choosing to give your grief to him and choosing to receive his strength and you amaze me. I thought I would give you the link to my story of my miracle in case you would like to read it.

    http://psalm4610-bestill.blogspot.com/2007_09_13_archive.html

  • Lisa

    What a beautiful and sweet story of your twins and the picture at the end… you just have a way to make us girls cry. Amen!

  • Wendy

    Hi Angie,

    I have learned so much from your website. Thank you for being so open. I learned of your website after Lukies death. I am Wendy, Greg’s cousin. The site has helped me many times when I need to be open to the Lord. I have not lost a baby, but have dealt with my own loses and the same God speaks to us both to comfort us. That is so neat.
    What you wrote of keeping God at bay. I so understand that. I did that at times, because I was afraid the answer would be me not being here and leaving Alex, my son behind. I was so ashamed to feel that, and I am glad that I am not the only one who has ever felt that way.

    You are all in my prayers, especially the children. May God keep you all in his arms and protect, guide and give you peace.

    Wendy

  • busy momma

    Angie- I read your blog almost everyday. Anyway, I feel like you are definitely a friend and such an awesome example. I just got an email about a little girl…if you will look at http://www.caringbridge.com and type in keastonbell you can see her. When I read the journal entry I immediately felt the need to tell you and ask for you to pray. I know you can understand the hurt this family must be going through as so many of us cannot. I hope your day is great and look forward to the day that we somehow “by the grace of God” meet :) with thanks and love, Ashley

  • 3 Girls and a Daddy

    I am so encouraged by your blog. Thank you for being so honest and being a great testimony to how God is always at work.

  • Mrs. Wilson

    Wow. What an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing with us!

  • annaelyse

    every single post you write encourages me beyond measure! thank you for your honesty and your transparancy with us. praying for your family!!!

    anna

  • Julie

    Angie, thank you for sharing the story of your beautiful girls. All four of your girls are absolutely beautiful.

    I have been following your blog for some time now and pray for the same devotion to the Lord in my heart – thank you for showing me the way. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.

    I am so thankful for your doctor who listened to the Lord and did that ultrasound that day back so many years ago. I lost my twins, Devin and Elizabeth, at 22 weeks in January of 2004. While I had talked to a nurse at my doctor’s office and felt reassured by her instructions, to this day I wish I would have listened to that little voice in my head that told me to go…go have it checked out…something isn’t right. I can’t change what happened – maybe like you said in your post – maybe I wasn’t at the right place with the Lord at the time – I don’t know. I long to hold my babies again, like you wish for your sweet Audrey – but I do rejoice in the knowledge that they are in Heaven and I will be with them one day. I am blessed to have 3 living children at home (Landon, 3 and twins Austin and Aiden, 4 months), but I still long for my Devin and Elizabeth.

    Thank you for being you…for being honest, real, loving, caring, vulnerable…just for being YOU! You are a strong faithful woman – always remember that!

    Many hugs to you,
    Julie

  • Rebekah Walker

    Thank you for letting us in a little more. I look forward to the days I come and check your blog to see what is going on with you and hopes that each post will be a little more “happy”. Thank you agin for sharing with us. Enjoy your day, enjoy your family.

  • eric

    Thank you for sharing God’s redeeming love with us. He WILL make all things new one day! Thank you for the hope and encouragment that He continues to pursue us when we are so faithless…..

  • Amy

    Angie,
    I really resonate with your experience with your baby’s coming early. My first child was born 6 weeks early and it was such an emotional rollercoaster. The nursing, pumping, supplementing, attempt nursing again, pump,. . . Those were some long days.
    I really enjoy reading your posts.

    Let me know when you’ll be in MN!
    Amy

  • Tara Marie

    Angie,

    I can’t keep a journal for my life, and I also take a large amount of time buying (& sniffing) shampoo! hahaha…I found this hilarious bc all my friends think I am nutz!

    I love your stories!

    Love your sister in Christ,
    Tara

  • Mayme

    Angie, I have never commented on your blog and just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed reading it. I would love to share with you privately if you would be willing to e-mail me. Your post from some time back that plainly stated “you either trust Him or you don’t” has touched me more than I can say. In the past week we have been blessed by God with an adoption referral that will have some challenges, but the peace that we feel about our decision is more than I can describe. You words rang out in my head when I looked into my daughter’s face for the first time as it came across the computer screen. After 2 1/2 years of waiting, the world is a much brighter place for our family. Thank you for sharing your life with me. God has used you to help show me some things recently, of this I am sure. May God bless you and your family and thank you again for sharing.

  • Debbie

    Angie,
    I haven’t posted a comment in several weeks, not because I haven’t been keeping up with the blog, but between Kori’s visit, Samantha’s summer schedule, the recent studio move, and my “real job”, it’s crazy! You do however inspire me to write something, anything, I just want to let you know I am addicted to your amazing stories.
    I remember the day you told me you were expecting. We were on our way back from my bridal portrait session. I could see it in your smile, the excitement behind your eye’s. You were going to be a Mommy. I was honored that I was a part of that special group of friends that knew before anyone else.
    I remember visiting you and Todd in the hospital before your girls were born.
    I remember holding your girls, they were so tiny, yet what miracles God had given you. Again, I was honored to be a part of your life.
    I remember Marco Island, game nights at your house, Alias adventure night’s, and Audrey’s service. Again, I am honored to be a part of your life.
    I feel so fortunate to be a part of your life. I am honored that I can call you my friend.
    Blessings,
    Debbie Uchida

  • Becca

    Hi!
    I want you to know that I have been so touched by your blog.
    I know my comment will probably be lost in the shuffle, but I wanted you to know that I nominated you for an award. Check out my blog to see what it is.
    Thank you for the realness of your post! They are so encouraging to me.
    Becca
    http://www.beccasfreshfruit.blogspot.com

  • ajc4ever

    So many times I have wondered about Abby and Ellie’s story. Thanks for sharing it. It is so beautiful. I sure understand the acting like a jilted bride part as I have certainly done the same too many times.

    God Bless,
    Angela

  • lissilulu

    Hi Angie,
    I have emailed you a couple of times but haven’t replied here on your blog. You said in your last post that you would like to know us more. I dont know if you will ever visit but here is my blog- http://lissilulu.blogspot.com

    You are more than an encouragement to me Angie. And through encouraging me you are encouraging my children also.
    We are now a single parent home believing for restoration of my marriage. God is more than enough and in fact has told me through many ways that He will restore my family.

    My hope and prayer is to love Him as much as you do and to crave His Word as much as you do. I am in the middle of reading a couple of Beth Moore’s books and noticed that you like her as well. She has such a deep love for Him.

    I had loved God when I was a little girl but lost track of Him in my teens trying to fill my broken heart with wrong things.
    I remet Him when my oldest daughter was 1; she is now 17. I love Him so much, He carries me and meets my every need as I walk through this unmapped territory.

    My heart grieves deeply to *stand* for a marriage that has been broken in man’s eyes but is still a covenant in God’s eyes. To believe in the promise God has given but see other things with the eyes.But while grieving to also have this amazing season of walking so closely with the Lord as He carries, corrects and guides me.

    Anyway, I love the atmosphere here of open hearts realizing that OUR HOPE COMES FROM THE LORD ALONE. What a heritage!
    Lori

  • meredith

    angie…i have emailed you but never commented before! you are such an encourager! thank you for sharing your story – it makes me feel more normal for feeling & acting like i do!!! your family is so blessed to have you – what a treasure! i feel like i have a “friend” in you!

    blessings,
    meredith

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • John & Pamela Cabrera

    I’ve finally caught up after starting from the beginning just a few days ago. I have been so touched by Audrey’s story. Thank you for bearing your heart and soul and sharing your precious little angel with us. I am praying and will continue to pray for you and your family; Greg, Nicol and Summer; and the Skaggs family. God bless you!

    Pamela Cabrera

  • Laurie

    Angie~
    This is my first time posting and I just came accross your blog today. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. I know the pain you feel. I feel like God brought me to your blog. I needed yo read your words and see your photos. I have written about my loss on my blog. I am so envious of you and the photos that you have. I hope that you treasure them always. I hope that you see this. (339 comments… WOW)
    Thanks for your blog and your words.
    Laurie
    lmz@alltel.net

  • The Reid Family

    Wow! What a story. I sit in awe of how a God so big can touch a heart so small. My dear husband, Chris, performs anesthesia at Vandy Children’s here in town and we live in Franklin. He sees the small little ones and loves them while they are in his care. I know your story from that side of the hospital floor. It’s touching to hear it from another mom’s perspective. My three sweet babies are in their beds taking their naps and my one angel in heaven is looking down and saying it is well. I hope you know that you do such a great job ministering to others with your awesome ability to “speak” through your fingers. You are blessed. :) With Love, Brooks

  • Darlee

    Angie,

    You bless me! It sounds like Todd is gone a lot. How do you do it all?

    Darlee

  • kjoy

    Such a beautiful story! Thank you!

  • Deanna

    I have read your blog for awhile, and the part I’m finally led to comment on is your description of scrapbooking! I love writing and crafts, but I have many old scrapbooks with only 1 or 2 pages done. You put into words exactly why I can’t devote myself to that hobby, although I never realized it before. I, too, can take an eternity to pick out the simplest items…grocery shopping can be quite an adventure! I just wanted to say that I love your writing, and thank you for sharing your story. It’s obvious from your devoted commenters that you’ve touched countless lives already. Audrey Caroline’s legacy is truly amazing.

  • Kerry

    I loved reading this story. I just had twin girls two months ago and your NICU story resonated so much with me. My husband was deployed to Iraq my whole pregnancy but made it back in time for their delivery. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to take care of two babies, going back and forth to the NICU without your partner!Blessings to your family, they are absolutely beautiful and continued prayers for healing.

  • Lorie

    Angie,
    I come here every day and I read your beautifully written blog and it’s become very important to me. I have prayed for you, cried with you, grieved for you and your family. My precious daughter Ashley is pregnant with her third and from the start there have been some complications, they think she has some cysts on her ovaries and she is being watched closely. Today after her DR. Visit, she called hysterical and I grew so fearful. It was mostly her hormones and stress and I know that she needs to breathe and let God work. I know God is constant and He is in control of the situation.Say a prayer for Ashley and I know you can empathize with how she feels. You are a blessing.I have not ever written a comment before because I thought she has so many and one more won’t make any difference. I feel like you have opened a part of yourself to me though and that leaves me wanting to share with you my prayer concern. I loved the time with God over your broken vase and I am so thankful for your good days. I have always been a Selah fan, now I can’t hear the song by David Crowder without you coming to my heart and I pray for you. Be blessed and know that I am one of the many sisters who is beside you everyday, longing to read the eloquent words you leave for us to get a glimpse of our Heavenly Father. Lift up Ashley -she has two precious girls named Emma Grace(4) and Anna Elizabeth(2). They say they don’t care what God gives them a boy or a girl, they just want a baby.
    You are a blessing!
    Lorie

  • Harris Family

    I can’t wait to hear more! Thank you for sharing about the girls. I have always wondered! God is really using you reveal HIS glory. I know i am blessed by every story that you tell. Praying for your friend and praying for you, sweet friend!

  • Engel Family

    That is the most beautiful picture of the twins. I so enjoy reading your blog and look forward to each and every post. I take comfort in your strength sometimes when I feel I don’t have any. Thank you.

  • Allmykids123

    2 days since your last blog and I’m needing an Angie Fix! Hope all is well with you and yours.

  • Cerulean Blue

    I think God understands when we have those times in our lives that we don’t cling to Him or trust Him as much as we do when things are going great.

    I shudder to think of what would happen if my life were nothing but going perfect… how far away I’d be from God… He’s funny like that… not that He wants us to have pain, but He has assured us His grace and understanding forever.

    You Have Love and You Know Love!
    We Have God and We Know God!!!

    amidst all the tears we will cry, we will always have that, and He will always have it to return…

    That’s beautiful!

    Thanks again for sharing, Angie!

  • psalm13914

    Angie,

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful story about your girls. The are all beautiful.
    I look forward to seeing if you’ve posted everyday. I actually just started my own blog after reading yours,for many months (since January) and seeing how you have helped so many others to see the truth of God. I pray that God will give me that clarity to see His truths and to write it, hopefully just a smidget as well as you do, because you have a way with your words!

    I am hoping you are okay with me making a link to your page from my blog. You are such an inspiration, and I love reading your blog.

    God Bless
    Cindy
    Arnold, Nebraska

  • Kari Lynn

    Thank you for you honesty.

  • Heath and Karen Orr

    Angie, I have been so blessed by reading your words. I found your blog a few weeks ago and have been hooked to it ever since. I finally found a connection to you because my first daughter was born the day after you were married (Aug. 27, 2001) and her name is Grace Isabella and I have an Abigail Ruth who is 2. I have been blessed to only have had the two pregnancies and for them to end happily, but I have been praying for your whole family. I grieve with you as a sister in Christ and I praise God that He is touching you in so many wonderful ways. Please keep writing!

    Blessings to you and yours –

    Karen

  • sweet-pea7482

    Angie, your words inspire and heal. I have been reading your journal since I found it through another person’s journal in LiveJournal. I haven’t experienced your pain (not in the same way…I’ve lost two pregnancies before full term) but I can empathize with some of your feelings that you have expressed. Thank you for being open and true – Thank you.

  • Holly

    Oh Angie, I love your story, your heart and your honesty.

    You all have been prayed for much today–Nicol, too. I have just had you on my heart.

    What beautiful babies! I am thankful for His miracles and praying for many more.

    Love,
    holly

  • Ter

    I am very very glad you had your miracles. I am sure they are healing your heart a little bit now as you remember Audrey.

  • GE is me

    Angie, wow, I can tell your girls are identical. So are mine & they too are only 2 minutes apart. (The hubs forgot to tell me to stop pushing!) I really appreciated your honesty about spending time in the word. How do you find time now??? I was blessed as far as my pregnancy with my girls, that I carried to term & they were both over 5#’s so no nicu time. I’m so glad I’ve found your blog. I have several Christian blogs I read & they rarely fail to inspire me! Especially your post on the broken pitcher- that was SOOOO incredible.
    In Christ, -Gail

  • Amy

    Amazing. What God has done in and through you. Thank you for sharing your heart to all of us. God has used you to edify the body of Christ, make us laugh, teach us, comfort us, encourage us… I was happy to hear you got to keep Coco, and your willingness to set an example for your girls and not make excuses or not “walk the talk” is a HUGE encouragement and conviction to me. Btw, I discovered your blog ~3 weeks ago. It immediately became tied for first in my blog favorites list, and I have a dozen or so fav blogs I *really* love. Anyway, I can relate to you in so many ways though my journey has been different, and I thank God for you.

    ~Amy7634

  • Vera

    First let me say that I was totally giddy and nervous and star struck when I saw that you were reading MY blog… I quickly looked over my blog, like I was quickly surveying my house before REALLY special company comes over :) Thank you for taking the time, you are REALLY special!

    I will pray for your friend.

    I am so glad that everything turned out well with your precious girls – they are gorgeous!

  • The Little Woman and Hubby

    Certainly a special day for your girls. It’s my birthday as well. :-)

  • oliviaober

    From a fellow sister also praying for the rain! Thank you for sharing your life with us. Our journey has given us a beautiful special needs little boy (and two wonderful big sisters). My husband and I beg for God to use our journey to minister to others – and He is faithful! Yeah God!

    I “had it out” with God one night at 2am as I read some of your posts. When I got to the point where your family endured another loss, I just couldn’t believe it. That morning in Sunday School we were camped out in Hebrews 12 (God disciplines those he loves… endure hardships as discipline… produces a harvest of righteousness). People often ask why we don’t question God in the midst of some dark days over the past two years. My husband and I knew life was not going to be easy. We didn’t know what that meant, but we knew God was with us and that has been enough. All that to say, … God laid on my heart to share out loud (not something I do often). I told the class “We all need to expect trials, but know God is good and walks with us.” Later that night, those words He had me speak to the class, He said back to me as I asked him “why?” while reading your story. I am currently wrestling with knowing that just because we are walking this “trial” doesn’t mean nothing else will happen “bad” (from the world’s perspective) in our life. God has been asking me “faith or fear?” all week. Thank you for sharing your faith walk – the good and the bad. It is amazing how God uses our transparency and somehow He is blessed (matt 5:16)! I find great comfort in that!

    I got an email with a beautiful montage from a family that lost their daughter. She only lived a short time on earth. I know music means a lot to you as well. The song on the montage was from http://prenatalpartnersforlife.org/index.htm “Down the Road of Bittersweet”. I hope it ministers to you.

    Blessings, Olivia

    We have a carepage set up for our son, (www.carepages.com) his carepage name is “JoshuaGrantOber”

  • Jamie

    Your words are tenderly spoken . . . it seems like we are in the same room and you are speaking directly to me! Thanks for sharing! What a testimony!
    JAMIE

  • Jamie

    Your words are tenderly spoken . . . it seems like we are in the same room and you are speaking directly to me! Thanks for sharing! What a testimony!
    JAMIE

  • The Crawford Family

    Hi Angie. I have been reading your blog for some time now. I came across it by the grace of God when I was blog-surfing! You know, friend of a friend of a friend type thing! :) Earlier this year, I miscarried twins. It was devastating, but our gracious God brought us through and taught us more about who He is than ever before in my life. Your blog has been so encouraging to me. Thank you for sharing your good times and bad. I know that our losses are very different, but I have found that mourning a loss comes like the ocean’s tide. It comes in waves. There are good days and bad. Thank you for sharing all of them with us. You are a gift.

  • Sarah

    Hi Angie, beautiful story! I read your journal every now and then, but don’t comment often. I love the way you write and take the lords word and put them in your own. I pray for your family whenever needed, so I please ask you for a prayer of my own. My boyfriend is supporting himself with a full time job and putting his 20 year old self through college with no help from financial aid or parents. He bought a new/used care 3 months ago and last Sunday it was stolen from his driveway and has not been found. Please pray for safe return of his vehicle or that God will bless him with another way of transportation. Thank you so much!
    -Sarah

  • Tina Vega

    Believe or not Angie, you ARE scrapbooking! You can even have a blog book made through Blurb… it “slurps” your blog, photos and all and turns it into a hardcover book. And that, my friend, would be a scrapbook!

    Here’s the link: http://www.blurb.com/create/book/blogbook

    By the way, I LOVE the photo of the twins here, just precious!

  • Becker Family

    I’m not sure who said this, but I love this quote and thought you might too!

    “Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother’s image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child’s mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world.”

    Beckee

  • austinmsmom

    You are an amazing blessing, my friend. Isn’t God incredible in the fact that He is steadfast in His love for us even when we turn our back to Him. Thank you almighty God for your countless blessings.
    Angie thank you. For you are such a blessing to me!!!!
    Elle

  • Janet

    I have been reading your blog for several days and wanted to say hello and thank you so much for sharing your life and your faith. I can’t seem to get through one post without crying as God speaks to me. I have lost 6 babies to miscarriage and there have been so many times that I have felt unable to read my Bible…..

    “I loved Him fully, but I learned to keep Him at arm’s length in the event that He let me down.”

    This sentence sums up so much for me that I have never been able to put together for myself….but you just did. Thank you. Thank you for sharing so much of your life and for letting God use your life to encourage others. Your family is so precious and you are all in my thoughts. I pray that God’s wonderful goodness will be your comfort, peace and all that you ever need. May He bless you greatly. ~janet~

  • Gina

    Angie–Thank you for the story about your first three babies. There was so much to take in from it and to take to heart. Also, how very cool Tippa is! What a sweet lady–enjoy your purse. :-)

  • Megan

    I’m crying by the end of your post. Thank you for sharing your story. Our God is an amazing potter. Your life is a testimony of the beautiful vessels He molds.

  • The 311 Boys Mom

    Angie,
    Again, i love to read your story, you tell it so well…….I had wondered about the story of the twins…..thank you for sharing it with all of us.

    your honesty & love & faith are something that I wish I only had a little bit of, just o be a better person. I also love that you are clear that GOD has not always been in your life like he is now, or that you didn’t allow Him to be “at arms length”. That’s how I’d describe my relationship with him…I’m too afraid to make it any closer than that; for fear of being let sown. I’ve never told anyone that, so thanks for letting me tell you, here.

  • Misty Rice

    Yea “CoCo” got to go home!

    By the way I was SO excited when I spoke to my friend Lisa Hughes (Coral Springs Fl) after she spoke with you. Thank you for your prayers and I look forward to meeting you when you come out.

    God Bless.

    PS: Precious picture!!!

  • Monica

    Just last week I was telling the girls I work with that I hope whoever wins the bid sends the purse to you…(they don’t have to read the blog…I give them the play by play each time I read)

    I just ran out and told them that you got to keep the purse!!! Most days they laugh because I come out of my office with mascara down my face (I’m not kidding…I really have to stop reading the blog at work) I’m not the only one crying today!! :)
    When you wrote that it had been your Mother’s Day gift…well, that did it for me…you inspire so many people…you’re on my list of someone I want to meet one day…just to say thank you for opening up your life and allowing God to use you to bring us closer to Him. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

  • Becky

    Don’t those days seem like just yesterday? Your post took me vividly back to when my daughter was expecting triplets. I must say she did a better job of handling her pregnancy than I did. Those days of visiting her in the hospital while on bedrest – trying to make them seem like a somehow normal day. Her doc prefers other meds to sulf mag but my younger daughter needed it when she struggled after the birth of her baby and she literally thought she had died. Then of course there were the NICU days. The NICU weeks. God is so good. Better than we can ever deserve. Thank you for sharing about your ‘twice as nicers’.

  • Joshs_Rebekah

    Angie,

    God definitely uses you. SEVERAL times in the past few weeks, your blog and entries have brought me out of my own self-pity and back to the real world.

    Thanks.

    Rebekah Larson
    larsonlog.blogspot.com

  • BABATUNDE SHOLA

    Beautiful kids are blessing from GOD! enter your kids for the 2008 free kid photo contest and win a $25,000 college fund.view details on http://www.blessmymarriage.blogspot.com

  • Hyde Family

    Angie,

    After I posted to your blog yesterday, I got to thinking and I was so quick to write that I gave some misinformation. My apologies. Although the song “Through It All” has been the song playing over and over again in my mind, that is not the song my cousin wrote. I think it might of even been written by Andre Crouch, and I’m definately not related to him. I guess because my cousins group “The Archers” used to sing that song as well, I connected them to the song many years ago as a child. Anyway, the song my cousin wrote, was “It Wouldn’t Be Enough”, by Don Aldridge. There again, another great christian classic. I just wanted to set my goof up straight. Thanks again for all of the wonderful writings. I am addicted to your blog. You really should write a book about your beautiful family.

    Thanks,
    Kari Hyde

  • RyanAndrew2007

    Thank you for sharing this. I needed it this morning. The part about not being able to read your Bible and holding God at arm’s length. I’ve been there and…I’ve felt so guilty for it. But you’ve captured in words what I’ve, too, felt and never been able to express and how God continued to pursue with open arms.

    Thanks,
    Julie

  • Jen

    Please pray for a sweet new friend who has just lost her twins in the middle of her first trimester. I don’t know if I should go into further detail, but God knows what she needs. Please pray for comfort, peace, hope, and healing.

    Thank you!

  • Elizabeth

    i feel so blessed to know this part of your heart that you’re sharing…your realness is a breath of fresh air and a challenge to me.

  • Katie

    Angie, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for telling your story. I’ve been reading your blog since Mother’s Day, and praying for your family. I am in awe at how God has chosen to work through you.

  • Anna Marie

    Angie, I just wanted to leave a message thanking you for your blog. I have never gone through your circumstances but your openess has truly touched me. I saw your husband in concert at the end of April and he mentioned the story of Audrey and the fact that you had a blog. It took me while before I found the blog but I sat in my chair for hours on end as I went back and read all of your blogs from the beginning to the end. I laughed and cried as I emphathized with what you were and are still going through. I just wanted to say thanks for being open and “real”. It has refreshed my spirit that I’m not the only Godly woman out there trying my best to hang in there with live and kids. I read your blog at the perfect time because I was really starting to see myself push farther from God, not really because I wanted to but because life was starting to overwhelm me. You have renewed the joy again and given me hope to push on and pursue God once again with the fervancy I’ve lost. May God truly bless you for blessing me with your story!

  • Angie

    What a beautiful post! I love your writing, it just touches my heart. I truly pray that someday we meet in person. I just feel so connected to you. I love your honesty. I have always believed in God and prayed to him but just almost 2 years now really connected with him and found my passion for him. God is truly awesome and I just feel so much of what you feel and write about. Thank you for connecting with so many. I truly feel like God has a reason and a mission for bringing us all together. Thank you again. God Bless you.
    Angie
    Adrian MN

  • aedwards

    Angie,

    You said “and if I could do it over, well, I can’t.” (Speaking of reaching out to God during the bad times). I think our Heavenly Father would want you to realize that you did have it to do over (with Audrey Caroline), and you did do things differently. During those years in between, you grew and you learned where your comfort truly comes from. Maybe suffering the loss of your first child brought you to a place where you would be able to withstand losing Audrey, a child whom you were able to love longer and stronger. That same loving God who works all things together for our good, will and has done the same through the loss of Audrey Caroline.

    I certainly don’t want it to seem as though I think that knowing the above truth makes the hurt any easier. I can’t comprehend the losses you have suffered. But I couldn’t help but realize, in the midst of all your pain, He gave you a second chance to prove your love for Him, and you did just that!

  • Jennifer

    Wow! I came across your blog today and I have been lost in it for over an hour. I am praying for you and that God is going to use all that you have been through these past few months in a MIGHTY way. Thanks for sharing and encouraging others with your testimony. Hugs in Texas!

  • Stephanie Shaw

    Greetings from Spring, Texas!
    I have been reading your blog for several weeks now, but this is the first post for me. I loved hearing the story of your twin girls. I also have twin girls (who just turned 5)named Leah and Lauren – however, mine are fraternal. You can check out our family blog at http://shawfamilyhappenings.
    blogspot.com/
    I just started it this week – you have inspired me to create one. I have been wanting to for a long time, but am just now doing it. I have a link to your website posted on my blog so that others can read your story – I hope you don’t mind.
    God bless,
    Stephanie Shaw

  • Cara

    Wow, I just realized that the very day you and Todd got married, my husband proposed to me! How fun is that?!!!

    <>< Cara

  • Cara

    P.S. I have a blog at cyakel.blogspot.com if you’d like to view it. I have lots of pictures up of my kiddos. I also have a link on my page to your page so others can read your awesome words of encouragement!

    <>< Cara

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • A & S

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I found it by way of another blog friend, and I am amazed at your faith, courage, strength, perserverance. Our God is so good!!! I love how God’s blessings surround us every day. As I read your blog I am reminded of my own blessings. I too have had several miscarriages. People don’t understand if they haven’t lived that. It was only God that got me through. And I hold on to His word daily. . Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you. .” It was not in God’s plan for me to birth a child. That is ok, I have been blessed in many other ways.
    You have such a ministry here. You are touching people who may have never felt that God was with them, until they read your words and learned of the faith that gets you through.
    May God continue to bless you and your family.

    Amy, Indiana

  • Mindy

    I wish I could print everything that you have written!! It always encourages me at just the right time. I am desperately trying to find the moment to my “art” work. My heart aches for you and yet my heart is so encouraged by your vulnerable sharing and yet your continued strength to share. Praise God for your ability to touch so many lives!

  • Wendy

    Hi Angie,

    I am new to blogging. I hope you get this message. I have tried a few times, but I think I have messed up.

    I wanted to thank you for your commentary. It has helped me in my own life. I am Gregs cousin, Wendy and it was so kind of you to keep us updated about Lukie.

    I have also at times kept God at bay because I didn’t want the answer. I didn’t want to leave Alex without a mother and I was so afraid that God may still take me.
    Our circumstances are different, but in some ways the same. I was and still am at times afraid that I will be taken, and will lose out on so many experiences with Alex. God has been good to me and with time I am better with not always thinking of what I have lost or would could be lost. I just pray for peace.
    You have inspired me on days when I needed it, and I thank u=you for that.

    Wendy

  • Michelle

    I am a faithful reader, but have only commented a couple of times. I just can never find the words to express how deeply your posts have touched me. Everything I try seems so inadequate. Your faith, your strength, your beautiful writing, your honesty… you are inspiring. I feel blessed to read your blog.

  • Midwest Texan

    you make me want to know Christ better. thank you.

  • Laura

    It’s been so neat to read more about you and Todd and now Abby and Ellie. (Love that black and white pic of them by the way.)
    You’re continually in my prayers.

  • [hannah]*

    I’m a college sophmore who has been reading your blog and am so touched by the way God can use a precious baby girl to speak volumes of encouragement to me….I apperciate your honesty in dealing with pain and am going to pass this blog on to a mother of some children I babysit who lost her son…..Thank you for writing!! You are NOT alone.
    –Hannah–

  • Christine

    Angie – I was forwarded your blog a couple of weeks ago and stayed up until midnight reading it. I swayed between laughing so hard I cried, and just crying so hard. I cannot express how touched I am with the courage you have to share your story. I have also shared it with my husband, Cody, and we grew closer because of it.

    I also shared this blog with a friend of mine who is struggling with Christ. She has a wall up and keeps him at arms length, similar to your earlier experiences with him. She expressed to me how much your words meant to her. I think she is beginning to see his light because of it. Her name is Michelle. Please pray for her heart.

    I have two girls myself, Mia (4-1/2) & Megan (2-1/2), and had serious complications with the Mia’s pregnancy (after 2 miscarriages). In January we were told that Mia is autistic. It has been such a range of emotions, but I am now so grateful to the father for bringing me to you and the video your church produced. I have realized that God has a special plan for me and for Mia. As you so eloquently stated, it was never his Plan B. My eyes were opened to see the gift that Mia is in this life, rather than the difficulties that she will face. I feel grateful that she is able to show me love and hugs and express her feelings to me in her own way.

    You and your family are in my prayers every night. God bless.

  • Lisa

    I loved this! I am SO excited for the fresh cooked meal in your home! I would love to make you dinner anytime….if only I didn’t live in Michigan (lol)
    Oh I do have a question for you, are you guys going to do Worship on the Waterfront this year? We would love to have you over if you are going to be here. I know it is crazy to put that offer out there, but I would love to actually meet you in person too!
    Have a great night, may you rest peacefully, and find delight in a new day tomorrow!~
    Praying for you daily!
    Love and Blessings from your sister in Christ!
    Lisa

  • Mocha with Linda

    Thank you for sharing. Especially the part about hardly ever opening your Bible. Knowing the scars and imperfections you have and have worked through are that much more encouraging to the rest of us. I always say I already have a perfect God. If I have perfect friends (and I count you as that and sure hope I can meet you some day! Tell Todd to come sing in Central Texas and you come with him!), it makes me feel like there’s no way I can measure up. We need examples of God’s grace around us!

    I’ve been thinking about Nicol the last couple of days. When KLOVE played Natalie Grant’s Held the other day, my 12-year-old said “They’ve been playing that more often lately. Is it because of that Selah lady?” Give her our love.

    We send it to you as well.

  • Laura

    thank you for opening your heart day after day. God is using you in ways i’m sure you don’t even know.
    blessings to you and yours…

  • Aimee

    Angie,

    I prayed just for that….that someone would buy your purse and let you keep it! So curious about the plans for what will be done in Audrey’s name at the Hope Clinic, too! I’m sure whatever it is it will be wonderful.

    Thanks for sharing the story of how Abby and Ellie came into this world. I was so tickled and surprised to see Ellie’s “actual” name is Anna, just like my little one!

  • Twylia

    Angie,
    Thank you for sharing your lives with so many others, I will continue to pray for you and your family and add your friend who is carrying a wonderful life inside of her. My prayers remain with Luke and his family as well. You are truely a blessing for many..
    When people inquire about why you do something or have nice things, just pray for them, sometimes its hard for people to understand the blessings of God.
    Blessings be to you
    Twylia

  • Grammy

    I want to thank you, Angie, for your ministry thru this blog. My daughter introduced me to you when she found your blog and story.

    My two-year old granddaughter has twice been in life-threatening situations and by the Grace of God is a thriving, healthy little girl today.

    She was 10 weeks old when she contracted rsv and was sent by jet to Children’s Hospital in Birmingham. My daughter began questioning why God allowed this to happen to her and why He allowed innocent children to suffer things like cancer. I had no answer except that we go thru the trials of this world to become stronger and more faithful to our Heavenly Father who sent His only Son to die for us.

    Last summer at 18 months my granddaughter became very ill and was diagnosed with salmonella and rotavirus that again sent her by jet to Children’s. I know without a doubt that God healed her. I also know that God led my daughter to your blog to reinforce the teaching that she had all her life – that our God is a loving Father. He allows those heart-wrenching events into our lives to draw us closer to Him and by those events teaches us to depend on Him completely. Your words have definitely been used to shape my daughter’s journey in this life.

    You are chosen by God to minister through your writing. Your honesty is refreshing and I can relate so well to the situations and feelings you write about. I thank God that He led my daughter to you and I thank you for being subbmissive to His will.

    Philippians 4:13,
    Grandmother of 7

  • algonquinteacher

    Angie,
    Your story is so compelling and ispring. I usually just read but have never posted. I saw the title and thought what a coinsidence…my daughter shares the same birthday as your twins.She was born at only 4.4 pounds half way around the world in Russia and waited for us to come and make her ours..it took 2 years for God to connect us to our precious Hannah Svetlana.
    A special date for some special girls!
    As always I hold your family in my prayers,
    Ann

  • Michele

    Don’t worry about not scrapbooking. I’m 13 years behind! I found out recently that you can have your blogged published in “book” form. That may end up being my scrapbook. At least you got started blogging early! That means a lot. You are a real inspiration to so many. Thanks for being real.

  • 3QTGUYS

    How lovely. Thanks for sharing.

    I am very blessed with each entry you write!

  • Emily

    Long time reader, first time commenter

    You said that you “learned to keep Him at arms length in the event that He ever let you down.” Wow, that cut me to the quick. Thanks for helping me realize this struggle in my own life.

  • Shinae

    My goodness, I have an Abigail Grace too! Thanks for your wonderful words. You are amazing Angie!

  • The Stephenson’s

    Angie I was referred to your blog site by a friend and I must say it’s because the Lord knows that I need women of God in my life. I’ve been struggling the last few months no reason imparticular I’ve just seemed to drift away from the Lord. I must say I’m embarrassed to tell a total stranger this but reading your blogs you have been through some terrible times in your life and yet you are so strong. I need some encouragement and prayers!! I’ve had things happen in my life that are terrible starting at a young age my parents divorced, bitter divorce, and my mother got custody of me and my father got custody of my brother. I was separated from my sibling which crushed my small spirit yet I remember praying for him then. Then my mother remarried shortly after the divorce to a violent man. He never hit me but my mother looked like a punching bag on a daily basis. My father finally recieved custody of my brother and I when I was 9 years old, after living in 4 years of pure hell. Then I went through years of a violent hot tempered father who forget spanking, beat me and my brother on a daily basis. The last beating I received was at 15 years old and I moved back with my mother. Then her 2nd husband came back and started the same old same old as before and I basically house jumped for the next 2 years until I graduated high school. The sad thing is my father was a wealthy man but his daughter had to beg, borrow and plead for everything during that time. I met my husband August 14, 1999, and he asked my to marry him in April we married you guessed it August 26, 2000. Very rocky marriage to begin with, neither of us knew the Lord but in October of 2001 my husbands father passed away, in November my husband was saved at Geraldine first baptist then I followed a couple weeks later and we were both baptized in December. I was told I would never have any children so I didn’t expect it to happen but in October of 2002 I became pregnant and suffered a miscarriage in December I was devastated. I think I stayed in the bed 2 weeks. The Lord knew what he was doing I had just started nursing school and I would have never finished. We tried fertility drugs and many other things could not get pregnant but managed to finally conceive on birth control, I discovered I was pregnant in March of 2004, graduated from nursing school with my RN in May and delivered a healthy baby boy in October his name is Eric “Cade” Stephenson. Then we found out around May of 2005 that we were pregnant again and I delivered Emma Grace Stephenson in December of 2005. I have been so blessed with my children (both birth control babies lol)! While pregnant with my son we had a fall out with my Dad and my Grandfather (a minister) who cost us $25000.00 when your young, just finished school, and have 2 kids it’s hard to suck up that kind of money. Needless to say that relationship has been severed not that I didn’t try to mend it they just choose to ignore me. I miss them terribly!! Then in October of 2007 I lost my grandmother (a prayer warrior and disciple of the Lord) She was the first loss I had ever experienced. I continue to ache everyday wishing I had her to lean on and talk with and get me through the dark times. I know you probably think I’m a nut but I really needed someone to talk to and someone whom the Lord may use to keep me on the right path. Any advice for lost soul. I would love to go to a womans retreat but the only person I knew about is Beth Moore and the one close to me is sold out. Could you suggest someone else. Thanks for listening to me. I know my troubles which I didn’t name them all are nothing compaired to the pain you’ve experienced but it seems like you haven’t drifted and I need to learn how to do that. Please help!!
    Amy Stephenson

  • Sarah

    What an amazing thing or “transformation” we go through after the loss of a child. I read your posts some days I don’t because it is so overwhelmingly real. My youngest daughter Savannah died in Dec of 2006. She was born with a heart defect and we prayed and prayed and prayed she would get to come home. (she did) We prayed and we prayed for healing and she got it, and it was so not the way we expected. I read about you keeping God at arm’s link. I relate.. I know His promises.. its just crazy how I don’t embrace them as often as I should. Your posts are so tender- and real, and often a raw emotion that hurts my heart, BUT I will never forget the peace beyond understanding He gave me when she died. He is so amazing. Thanks-

  • DeeDee

    Angie, I am new to your blog-spot so I need to convey my saddness over your families loss. I read your post about finding out your were having twins. I can remember right before you were due to have these blessings b/c Selah was doing a concert at my church in Hattiesburg,MS! My poor children minister husband had to sit in “front row-center” for the concert. You see, when he gets to sit in worship, he loves to sit in the “back of the bus” so to speak…but for Selah, he gave me a sweet gift of sitting center-stage.
    Anyhoooo, since I am a later blog sista into your world I wanted to encourage you thru this storm. It seems that you are doing enough encouraging of others. But I figure that is who you are!
    Having given birth to a stillborn, our first daughter, I so hurt for you. And that was 31 yrs ago! I still ache for her but just last year when we lived in Nashville, God showed me that our daughters life was complete before she was even born. Does that make sense? To think that this little girl’s life came to completion before she drew her firt breath is really an honor to be choosen by God! Our daughter was choosen by God to bring her to us, enjoy her life, then to take her home so her daddy would come to know Jesus shortly after her death and then surrended to the ministry!! WOW, what an honor!
    Now why it took me 30 yrs to understand this I have no idea. Shortly after her death, I became pregant again….scared stiff, but relying on God! I made it thru and God blessed w/2 daughters and now 3 granddaugthers!
    Thank you for sharing the story of your life. Please know we are all praying for you!!!
    Gotta question though….What’s normal? Anyway, I am glad you saw a glimpse of it! I know God is pleased w/your witness to others and your honesty! And I pray that He sends you exactally what you need when you need it the most…wait, maybe He did, you got to keep the coach bag!!!
    I remember when we were in a financially hard time…I prayed for enough $$ to buy some Little Debbies for a dessert (we didn’t even have enough for the $1.04 box of oatmeal cookies) I confessed to God that I should not of asked for such petty things. (I mean , there is people in China starving) But my Lord, gave to us a hot homemade apple cake from a sweet neighbor. She was making one for her dinner dessert and felt impressed to make one for us! How cool is that???
    Now that I have rattled on long enough..I mean, just think, God gave me a hot cake and you a cool purse! Now tell me tht God does not care about our EVERY NEED!
    You and I know different…and so does all the other sistas out there in this blogworld!
    Joy for your day!
    Debi O.
    Albany, Ga

  • amy

    I just bought the Cucumber cleaner you told us about! HA! You’re not kidding…my house smells FABULOUS! Thanks for the great tip!!! :) It’s great motivation to clean!

    I’m praying for you!
    Amy

  • The Ridings’

    Hope you’re doing ok…it’s been a few days since we’ve heard from you. You and your family are in my prayers everyday!!

    Love,
    Sarah from Sunnyvale, CA

  • Robin

    Angie~

    I’m not sure if you get overwhelmed by the amount of comments. Ever since I heard this quote I thought of you and wanted to pass it on. “Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.” Roger Miller

    Love your sister, Robin

  • Heidi Zawisza

    Hey Angie!
    I follow your blog ridiculously, and have told everyone I know about it! Ha!Ha!
    Anyways, I nominated you for a blogger award, you can check it out on my blog! http://www.heidizawisza.blogspot.com
    Keep bloggin’ girl! We LOVE it!
    Heidi

  • Linda

    I have been at church camp for a week (high school counselor) and am just getting caught up on your posts. Like all of your posts I got completely caught up in the poetry of your writing. (There just isn’t any better way to describe it) As I finished I thought about my two beautiful children – one of whom I spent the week with at camp. Then I noticed that you posted this on her birthday (celebrated at camp with those she loves & trusts most – a wonderful day of fellowship & love) and I was doubly blessed. Thanks again for sharing your journey with all of us – you cannot imagine the lives that you touch through your faith in Him.

  • Adrienne and Jim

    Thank you Angie =)

  • blakeskat3

    I got married August 30th 2003 and my husband and I found out i was pregnant on October 31st…yeah what a day!!! i miscarried at 6 weeks and i understand how it was enough time to fall in love with the child. I have a 3 year old daughter now and am 7 months pregnant with my son but i still remember my first baby. My due date was July 4th 2004 and still almost 4 years later that day is a sad one.

  • Rebekah

    I know you get TONS of these, but I have to comment (I’ve been following your story for the last several weeks).

    It is so refreshing to hear a raw, genuine heart. When did the church become so stuffy that men and women of God alike are not able to speak their hearts? I am so thankful for your testimony and although it differs from mine, they are the same. I too have kept Him at arm’s length and read MY Story between your lines. I hate this part of my story, too, but sometimes the hurt is so unbearable it’s all we know. Or at least it’s all I knew. I’m now walking the upside of the valley and romancing my Savior once again. Thank you for being real.

    You are beautiful inside and out…write that book!

  • tannerjoy

    Hi Angie, over the past few weeks God has so touched my life with your postings. I appreciate your realness with us. One thing God has been teching me lately is how all of us who claim Jesus as Lord and Savior are family. So, sister, I pray for you and your family almost daily. Thank you for letting God use what he has put in your life for the improvement of the body of Christ. My son was born on August 1, 2008. I fought with my doctor about letting him be born at 38.5 weeks because I was so uncomfortable and had been having contractions for three weeks. She finally gave in and THANK GOD SHE DID! My son was born seemingly ok. Other than a little trouble keeping his temp up, Roman Michael was fine-we thought. Then for the first two days he wouldn’t eat or poop. The nurses kept telling me he was fine and that the doc would just send him home with me, but I kept telling them that he was not ok and I needed to talk to my doctor. My doctor came in and decided to do a test called a barium swallow. We found out that Roman had a completely blocked large and small intestine. They told me he would be transferred to a NICU and have surgery that same day. They said he would lose his intestines and have a colostomy bag his entire life. All I could do was pray! Later that day, surgeons manipulated his stomach w/o surgery to get the plug out! Praise Go! But God has interesting ways, no? With that taken care of we thought out baby would come home, but no. He was growing E. coli in his blood, which if we had taken him home would have been fatal. The nurses told us that even with older babies, once they spike a fever (which Roman would have done in 2 or 3 days) you basically can only make a baby comfortable and watch them die. PRAISE JESUS! He took what we thought was bad (the bowel obstruction) and used it to alert us to a much more dangerous situation. Thank God, he is all knowing, all powerful and all loving! Thank you for reading my story and thank you for your testimony. May God keep changing us, teaching us and never let us stay as we are. Thank you Angie, Sincerely, Kristina J. Petrella

  • My Three Sons

    Your doing a great work for Christ with your blog. It has been a blessing to me. My husband and I were also married on August 26. We have 3 boys and a baby that is with Jesus. Can’t wait to meet that sweet little one.

  • Erin

    Wow Angie,
    My dear friend, Adrienne Graves, has told me about your blog a few times. I blog also, but lately have been so engulfed in life as a single mom working insane hours that I haven’t had much time to blog, much less read others’ blogs. I don’t even know how I just found your blog actually!! I’m tired. :-)
    Anyway, I have been feeling an array of emotions lately. A year ago my life was really scary. I was a preggo mommy of a 4 year old boy, in a new town/state, and my husband had left me. I was falling further into God at every turn. On August 28th, my son Griffin was born into the presence of Jesus. I was 20 weeks pregnant and dying from complications. I guess coming up on the 1 year anniversary is harder than I thought it would be. And I think I am holding God at arms length, just like you did when you were in the hospital with the twins. I need His guidance, His love, His strength…and I am worried He will let me down. How stupid, considering the miracles He has performed in my life. Thank you so much for taking the time and the energy to share your heart. I am going to go to my living room and get on my face to talk to my Savior now. And then I’m going to actually READ Breaking Free.
    Love,
    Erin

  • Lisa

    Thank you for sharing your story. I, too, was on magneseum sulfate and you are totally right….it is nasty and the hospital soap can bring memories flooding back.

    Our daughter would be 12 years old this September. I wish I could share my heart as you do.

  • Annabelle

    I too have twins…boys. They are 3. They were born at 31 weeks and both spent 4 weeks in the NICU. Your story of your daughters being born brings back memories of my boys being born!

  • Leah

    I’ve been away from the computer for a few days and am just catching up on your last few posts. I too lost my first baby and have the same vivid memories of the happiness I felt carrying him or her for the brief time I had them. I have 3 beautiful, healthy children on this earth with me and 4 more waiting in heaven…though they were all lost through miscarriages…they were mine and I loved everyone of them.

    Thank you for so openly sharing your heart with us.

  • Laura

    That is almost identical to how my pregnancy with twins went. With the cervix shortening and finally opening and the bag bulging out… I too endured a few rounds of magnesium, not to mention the heprin and steroid shots. My girls were born via emergency c-section at 31 weeks and 2 days, 3 minutes apart, weighing 3.9 and 3.10. They too struggled with bradycardia and apnea for a while. I struggled with not feeling connected… with the nursing struggles in between pumpings. We brought them home on Jan. 8th 2004 at about 4 pounds, a little less than a month after they were born. For girls that they told me I wouldn’t even carry until 25 weeks, for girls they told me I could just ‘terminate and start over’, they really did so well. It was more struggles after they came home, but they were well and they were home and we worked through the rest. I sang ‘Hiding Place’ over and over every day of my stay in the hospital.

  • Finchers

    Today I have read every post in this entire blog up this one. (I’ve spent WAY too many hours on my computer today!) Your story has touched me over and over as I have read and this is the first time I have felt compelled to respond. I too know the pain of losing a child. I was 9 weeks pregnant with “Katie” when the tiny little life was taken from me. I felt so alone, as the reality of another baby hadn’t really sunk in for my husband yet. That was in April of 2004. It took me until my next baby was about 10 months old (close to 2 years later) to really look God in the face and see His goodness again. In January of 2007, I lost my dear grandfather. Because of some yucky family mess, and the grandmother who is still living, that loss was a very tough blow. I have yet to be completely through the learning process in that situation, still battling an unforgiving spirit towards my grandmother. But that has been complicated by the loss of my father-in-law this past January. He died just a week after your devastating ultrasound. He was 61, and the best father-in-law you could imagine. He was a fantastic grandfather to his 4 granddaughters (ages 5, 3, 2, & 1 at the time of his death), and it just doesn’t seem fair that they won’t have him around as they grow up. Only one of them will really remember him. I wish that I was responding to these losses with the grace and faith that you have shown in your journey releasing Audrey to the Father. I am afraid that I’m mostly responding the way you described in this post. I’m not openly hostile toward God anymore (I was a couple moths ago), but I’m still very much blaming Him for letting this one fall through the cracks. He could have saved the day, and He didn’t. I have recently been reminded of God’s love for me (in a very personal way) and that my love for Him should motivate me to live my life in a way that honors Him. I’m stuck in fear of what’s around the corner. What if He takes another one of my kids? What if He takes my dad? I don’t think I could handle that. I know that trusting Him does not include guarantees that things of that nature will not happen. We have to go in trusting even if they do. I want to believe and trust. I really wish that God could teach through something other than pain and suffering. I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to share.

  • Mrs4444

    I recently came upon the blog of a young woman who is pregnant and on bedrest. She mentioned how if anyone had any “journals laying around,” she would love to have one (she would pay shipping). I’m sure she can’t afford shipping. Just a thought; maybe you’d be interested in sending her one of those many, empty journals that you have. Her blog is at: http://thegirlspeaks.wordpress.com/

  • Donna-Jean

    Angie – thank you so much for this blog. You bless my heart, you connect with me, you inspire me, and you help heal some places in me.

    In a very dark valley in my life (almost 23 years ago) I lost my/our first baby. I held his birthmother’s hand when the doctor did the section that brought him into this world. Our son was ours for three weeks only – and then she took him back.

    And although I took my pain and camped out in the Psalms (I copied down by hand every verse that shouted my pain or cried my confusion or whispered my hope or confirmed my faith) – there was a day when I said to my husband, “I trust you, and I trust Mom and Dad – but Jesus just keeps hurting me.”

    And I hate that part of my story, too.

    Thank you for sharing even that part of your story.

    That son will turn 23 in a month. Wherever he is in this world, I pray for him, I remember him, I lift him up to Jesus – and pray that He knows the One who is safe to trust.

    Thank you so much.
    (And as a PS – I am honored and blessed to mother three gifts from God. I’m overwhelmed by God’s goodness to me.)

  • Kaira

    Angie,

    I have read your entire blog, up to this point, tonight. I plan to finish it as well. I have wept with you. I have laughed with you. Many times along the way I have thought of leaving a comment but this post is the one. I’ve never known an Abigail Grace, but she’s the daughter I’ve never had. She’s the daughter I pray I will have someday. It is a long and sad story in some ways, maybe I’ll send you an email. I cling to hope and faith that God knows the whole story and I need to trust in His perfect plan. I’ll continue to read about your beautiful family, I’ll probably keep crying for you as well. Your children are all so beautiful. Please give sweet Abigail a little extra love from me :)

  • Andrea

    Angie,
    I have been reading your blog from the beginning and just haven’t been able to comment until now. First off I want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I love you and admire so much about you and how you allow God to work in and through you. I also have a preemie and your story in this post is all too familiar. I pray that God can continue to do miracles like our ‘babies’ for other mothers and that he can continue to use you and this blog for his glory.

  • bri

    Hello Angie, I sent you an email last night giving you insight on my story as well… reading this entry brought back so many memories for me. I hated that magnesium sulfate. That is the same medication they had me on to keep me from continuing on in labor at 21 weeks. My dr was trying to help me to carry to at least 24 weeks so there would be a chance. I not only hallucinated on that mag but days went by and I had no idea it was a different day, much less 3 days later. I reacted very well to the meds needless to say, so they dropped me down a couple notches so I could be coherent.

    And just so you know I cannot go into a hospital now for fear that I will smell that soap! It makes me cry… I know it is terrible.