The Threshing Floor

For some reason, when I am in the midst of a crisis, I feel the need to clean.  I want my house to be spotless, everything in its place.  I have heard that this can be part of the grieving process, and it makes sense.  There is a need for something to be controlled and in order.
The day we buried Audrey, we had our entire family come over to our house afterwards to share a meal.  For the first 45 minutes, I was upstairs scrubbing my bathroom floor like a maniac.  Todd came to check on me and asked if I wanted to come downstairs.  I told him I needed another half hour and the cucumber-smelling Target cleaner (made by Method…trust me, worth the $5 investment).  We were at a point in time where the best option was just to go along with whatever seemed normal in that moment, so he got the cleaner and 2 sponges. While our families talked and played outside, Todd and I sat on the cold tile in our funeral clothes and tried to clean away some of the hurt together.  
On Friday night, I decided that the playroom needed to be addressed.  I told the girls what we were going to be doing, and brought in the big black garbage bags.  One for “trash” and the other for “the poor kids.”  We started sorting through old dress-ups, dried up markers, and baby toys that I was holding onto.  A couple minutes into the process, Abby and Ellie began to discuss their plan of attack, and this is what I heard.
“Ellie, let’s give these to the poor kids.” Abby then explains, “They LOVE naked Barbies with crazy hair.” She waves around a ballerina Barbie that looks like she has spent a few hours in the spin cycle.
Excuse me?
“Okay.  And also, let’s give them this.”  Ellie holds up a Ken doll with no head. Yes, I’m serious. “They will really want this guy.” She shoves him into the bag and claps her hands together like she’s really starting to get somewhere.
(Insert “teachable moment” bell here)
“Hey girls, I’m noticing that you are choosing the things that you don’t like for the poor kids.  That doesn’t really make it a sacrifice, it just means you are giving them the things that you don’t play with anymore.” 
They are staring at me, wide-eyed, plan interrupted. I continue.
“It doesn’t mean as much if it doesn’t hurt a little. I want you each to choose something that means something to you and then put it in the bag.”  
At this point, Ellie earnestly asks if I am going to put my new-ish purse in the bag.  I was tempted to make up a story about how poor kids don’t really like Coach bags, but I decided to keep my mouth shut and let the Holy Spirit tell me what I need to keep and what I need to give away.  
The idea of God doing the same with us has struck me many times when I am in the midst of “pruning seasons.”  Years ago, I was reading about the threshing floor in my Bible, and I became fascinated by it.  Basically, it is a place high on a hill (so that the wind can assist the workers), where the chaff and the wheat are separated.  The chaff, which is useless, blows away in the wind because of how light it is.  The grain is heavier so it falls to the ground and is gathered to be harvested.  I cannot tell you how many times God has brought this image to me in the midst of feeling “threshed” in order to remind me that His hands are doing the sorting.  I beg Him to tell me what my offering should be, and then I ask for the strength to give it away.  I guess you all know by now that my family feels the sting of winnowing, and we have all asked many times why we have been chosen.  Late Friday night, I felt like He led me into His word, as He has many times, and promised me that if I would just spend time with Him there, He would reveal a hidden treasure to me.  
I began to sort through all of the references to “the threshing floor” in the Bible, and became more and more entranced by the way it showed up in beautiful stories that I have loved for years.  The first is in Genesis (50:10-11), where Joseph and his brothers are mourning the death of their father Israel (formerly Jacob).  Later, Ruth lays at the feet of Boaz at the command of her mother-in-law, begging to be “redeemed” by him (Ruth 3:6-9).  I urge you to read the book of Ruth if you have never done so…it is a beautiful image of what Christ came to do for us, and plus, it’s really short.  That way you can feel accomplished at having read “an entire book of the Bible….” :)
The story that stood out to me the most begins in 1Ch. 21:18-28, where David is purchasing a threshing floor from Ornan, and although Ornan tells David that he will give it to him free of charge, David insists on paying full price.  He is standing on the ground of “sifting,”explaining that he will not take the easy way.  He will do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, regardless of the price.
I believe fully that I will stand before the Lord one day, and I want to tell Him that I did the same.  I want to say that I was sifted, and that I did what David did next, because when I read these words, I knew I had started to uncover the beauty of what God was revealing to me.
“So David gave to Ornan for the site 600 sheckels of gold by weight.  And David built there an altar for the Lord… (1Ch. 21:25-26)
He built an altar to worship the God who threshes.  
And here is the best part.  If you have a Bible, skip to 2Ch. 3:1.  I pray that God will use this passage with you for the rest of your life, as I know He will for me.
“Then Solomon began to build the house of the Lord at Jerusalem on Mount Moriah, where the Lord appeared to David, his father, in the place that David had appointed on the threshing floor of Ornan the Jebusite…”
The Temple itself was built on a threshing floor.  Oh, what beauty can come of the hurt.  
I cried as I read these words, because although I have always known it to be true in black and white, it is entirely different to be reading it in the midst of the winnowing.  I needed to believe in the harvest that is up ahead, and to trust that God is going to redeem the hurt.
Only God Himself knows why we stand on this ground, but there is something that you and I can do from here, and today, I am choosing to built an altar to the Lord.  I’m not going to say that it is easy, nor that it is painless.  It isn’t.  What I want is my daughter to be asleep in her crib and for Luke to be in his mother’s arms.  And yet, I know this, and I am praying for you to know it too, deep down in a place where nothing has been in a long time.
The God of Jacob, of Ruth, of David, of Solomon, and of you and me wants to help us build where the hurt has been.  I am praying as I write these words that you will be inspired, even in the wake of devastation, to worship Him with eager expectation of the harvest.  
My heart is still broken, I can tell you that much.
My hands, however, are busy.
Oh, Jesus, we know not the hour of redemption.  Teach us to walk closely in step with You, and to believe in what we cannot see from the threshing floor...
Angie

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  • Marc and Charity

    Just beautiful, thank you for taking the time to type all of that out. Bless you!

  • Allie

    A christian tour guide in Israel also taught me that the threshing floor on Mount Moriah, is also the place where Abraham offered Isaac, and where God sacrificed his son Jesus for us!

  • Rooney’s Little Musings

    Thank you Angie, for sharing. My son was stillborn 5 weeks ago, and it is so hard. Thank you for reminding me of God’s grace, and for keeping my eye’s on Him.

  • boltefamily

    Oh Angie,

    I can so relate to the cleaning thing. I am crazed about it at times. Thank you so much for this post. We also had a similar incident with our boys and the cleaning out of toys recently.

    Thanks for making me feel just a little bit normal today!

    Love,
    kristy

  • Catherine

    Angie,
    A very beautiful post. I know I speak for thousands of people when I say I am praying for you and your family and a peace that can only come from our Heavenly Father. I can tell you that your stories have brought my steps closer to God. I am saved and I have a testimony of my own, and I have been in a place where it was just myself and my Lord. My relationship was the best it has ever been during my own personal trial in 2004. However, once my life got back to “normal” and things settled down, I got complacent with my relationship with my Father. My very close friend told me about your site about a month ago, and I have felt that desire to walk closer to Him again. I know He was always there, but I wasn’t. The beauty of your sorrows are bringing people, like me, back to where we should be and want to be with God. Thank you for baring your soul and your hurts. I have put on my blog your blogspot and it is under, “people I would love to sit and have a cup of coffee with”. I would love to be able to look you in the eyes and tell you from the bottom of my heart how sorry I am for the losses you are suffering. Until then, I will continue to pray for you and continue to keep my relationship with my Lord a top priority like it was during the hardest time of my life. He’s the same today as He always was. With love from your sister in Christ.
    Catherine

  • The Redder Family

    Beautiful. Thank you so much for leading us to the bible all the while you are just trying to cope with what God is bringing you to and through. God Bless you and your family Angie.

  • Kate

    Another wonderful entry, Angie… but tell us… did you part with your Coach bag? ;-)

  • Hollie

    You inspire me to draw even closer to Him every time I read your post. Thank you for being so honest and using your story to reach others! HE is working through you in amazing ways!

  • Jess :)

    Another heartfelt and most blessed post. Thank you for that. You continue to inspire and encourage me in my daily life and walk with God. My prayers continue to be with you and your family.

    Lots of love and hugs,
    Jess :)

  • Christy

    What a beautiful way to turn the hurt into a temple for God. You are very inspiring to all who read your blog. God Bless

  • Martha

    It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in cleaning when I’m hurting or trying to make sense of something. You write so beautifully, and I’m able to take something with me each time I read one of your posts.

  • Marilyn@Mixed Bouquet

    Amen! Wonderful post! Thank you!

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful. As I read your post (I’m a visual person), I envisioned God as your lighthouse. Sending out beacons of light to help you feel comforted, safe & on the right path as you drift through your journey of rough waters. He is there. I’m glad you have Him.

    Thank you for sharing your stories with us. Your girls are riots. I’m glad you have them, too.

    - Rachel in Kansas City

  • lp8265@gmail.com

    Thank you Angie. Beautiful post. I’ve spent some time on the threshing floor when my husband died 14 years ago. I am sure that I would not know the Lord as I know him today without being there. Beauty from ashes.
    Thanks for sharing the realness of your girls with us. Todays post as well as the standing in line to see Santa story made me laugh til I cried. You are blessed.
    Luanne

  • Lauren

    Angie,
    I check your pages every day in hopes of updates from you. I love the way that God is speaking through you and it seems like every post you put up speaks to me in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. I’m always in prayer for you and your family. Thank you so much for showing us how God is working through you.
    Until we meet,
    Lauren

  • Mark and Rebekah

    Thank you. I have thought about you many times this past week. God is working in me, yet I’m afraid to give Him complete control because I don’t know what He’ll do to grow me. I kept saying, okay, as long as you don’t touch Mark and Steven (my husband and baby boy), anything else you can have.

    I knew it wasn’t good enough, but it’s so hard. I’ve begged Him for help, and He is faithful.

    It’s been a hard week–we’re now facing several big financial pressures, including the unexpected need of a new car. On the way to church this morning, I hit the gate and took off the side mirror on our “good” car (which isn’t looking so great anymore).

    Your words are so timely as I trust God, knowing that He will provide. It will be in His own way and in His own time, but He WILL provide.

    Thank you for encouraging me today. I’m praying for you as always.

    Rebekah in Michigan

    God is good, all the time.
    All the time, God is good.

  • Allyson

    I never read your blog dry eyed! And I always feel challenged in my walk with God after reading! Thank you so much for being who you are. God has placed you in the lives and the hearts of so many of us struggling with our relationship with the Lord. Keep doing what you are doing because you are the encouragement and the reminder I need!! God has a very special plan for you!

  • Anonymous

    I tend to do the same thing. Today is a bit hard b/c my kids and hubby and I are enjoying a day outside and Justin should be here enjoying this day to. I just cant help but think that. I know I have to accept that he is looking as we go, but I want him here I want to hold and kiss him and smell him, and do all teh things I should be doing as his mother. I know your pain and feel it through your words.

    Jeannine
    jlb1094@yahoo.com
    http://remembered-forever.org/JustinJohnUrsillo/p/index/

  • Queen B

    That is absolutely beautiful. It is something that I have often read, yet I never really got it until I read your post. It is just what I needed to hear.

    Blessings to you.

  • Celie

    “Another wonderful entry, Angie… but tell us… did you part with your Coach bag? ;) ” I will answer this with, OH my God yes! She through Gods strength has parted with more than what any coach bag would ever cost. And yes through God strength willingly. The cost is far beyond any price that could be placed on any bag she owns. She willingly has said yes, God. She’s yours thank you for allowing me the privillage to carry the days of her life. To God be the glory ! For such a one as this. Angie even though I know you not, I love and honor you as the women God has called you to be and your willingness to pay the cost. Love you girlfriend. Celie

  • TNS

    Thank you! You did inspire me. I read your story yesterday. Attracted to your site because I have a daughter Caroline who has a best friend named Audrey. I had a miscarriage in April and it has been hard at times I didn’t expect. I feel like I can’t do anything sometimes. Your words of building something beautiful on the threshing floor are inspiring. I know God is calling me to that.

    My sincere sympathy on the loss of your daughter Audrey and your newphew Luke.

  • the donovan family

    Thank you, Angie, for ministering to me in your time of loss. You are such an inspiration.

  • KimMc

    you are absolutely amazing…You have blessed so many people by your most beautiful words. I am so sorry that you have had to endure the storm, yet God is molding you into the person He created you to be! Thanks for helping us be molded as well!

  • Kim

    So true!

    In the pit a few years ago, I begged God for growth, for renewal. He directed my gaze to the barren tree limbs above me and said, “Just as new growth is hiding in those branches ready to burst forth at the proper time, so I promise growth and newness for you.”

    There are no words to express the wonder that is our God.

    Thank you for being faithful in such painful circumstances.

    I see Jesus smiling through his own tears of compassion as he looks on you. Your faithfulness is a gift to him.

  • Nanette R.

    Thank you for sharing these truths from the Word. I have not gone through the kind of hurt and pain that you and your family have, but am walking through the pain of divorce. Even four years later, there are raw places and I was sharing that with the Lord this a.m. in my prayer time. Thank you for leading me to remember that Jesus will redeem our pain and that He is honored when we praise Him in the midst of it. You are continually in my prayers.

  • Melissa Irwin

    Thank you for this beautiful post.

  • Anonymous

    Angie, Hi! I kept checking in to see if you had posted again and I’m so glad you’re back. :) I know this has been such a difficult time for you and your family. So many prayers are being said for all of you! I hope you can feel them.

    This post was so interesting to me. I didn’t know that it was on Mt. Moriah that David built the altar to the Lord. We just talked this morning about Abraham and Isaac…about how he set out on a three day journey, to Mt. Moriah to sacrifice Isaac. Mt. Moriah is also Mt. Calvary. All of this foreshadowed the atoning sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Isn’t that amazing!

    Angie, I know you are hurting, but what you are doing with that hurt is beautiful and so honoring to the Lord. You are no doubt walking so closely with the Lord and learning so much about how deep His grace is. Some of us may never experience that. Obviously, we’d never want to experience the kind of loss that you have had to endure, but I know God is faithful in the light as well as in our darkest times and you are experiencing that firsthand.

    Lots of love to you!
    Amy
    amy@philippians121.com

    p.s. I love that Todd got two sponges and got down to clean away the hurt with you. I’m so thankful that the two of you are “united in your sorrow” as you put it. I pray that all of this only brings you closer to each other. :)

  • "Bluebonnet in the snow"

    I am such a visual person and love the metaphor of the threshing floor that you’ve so beautifully set forth. Thank you for giving me a teachable moment as well.

  • Anonymous

    I look and read your blog everyday. Since I started a few weeks ago, I have found myself thinking alot. I think of the sadness you and Nicol have gone through and I look into your heart and see God’s love, strength and peace thtat passes all understanding. I am in awe.
    This morning our pastor preached on what is holding us from a full relationship with the Lord. This is a idol. (Food,work,hobbies,people, etc.) My first thought went to you and your family. Because Bro. Richard said in trying times, you really learn what is in a person’s heart and second, you learn what your refuge is. I have read your blog over and over, saying wow, even in the midst of the storm, you have never lost sight of who God is.
    I know I have had alot of time to think about my life and I do trust God. (Either I do or Not).
    I just want to say to you, that you have given me a new outlook on who God is in My life and how I know I can trust Him in EVERYTHING. (I have always known)
    My husband went to Iraq in 2003 for 13 months and I remember watching him leave with four babies around me crying their eyes out and thinking “How can and why have you done this to me God?” My baby was amost three and cried every night for three months for his dad. I laid on the floor one night after the kids were in bed, put on some worship music and cring out to the Lord. How am I going to do this and what are you calling me to do and how am I going to do this alone. The Lord said as clear as day to me, Do you trust me and I am giving you a new task, will you except? I AM Bringing your husband home safe and sound when it is time. I sat on the floor crying and saying YES Lord, I trust you and I will except your call.
    God gave me a mission and it was to comfort all the other military wives and their children and hep them get through this time in their life also. It was NOT easy but God carried me through. It has been 4 years now and my husband and every person in our troop came home safe and sound. (God is faithful).
    I just want you to know, you have given me a chance to look back and see what God has doe and what he is doing in my life and I want to run to Him in every situation in my life.
    Thank you for opening your life up to us and I pray that God continue’s to heal your broken heart and Nicol’s also.
    Love in Christ and until we meet.
    Missy Lee- Picayune, Ms.

  • kelly

    Thank you for sharing that beautiful post. God has used your story to draw me closer to Him. The past few years I have wandered in my relationship with God…and I have ashes surrounding me because of it. Yet your story reminds me of God’s faithfulness to bring beauty from ashes. He has used your words to give me a desire to closely walk as His child again. Thank you for sharing your story. May God hold you close.

  • Beauty From Ashes

    Angie,
    Beautiful…it’s all that I can think of to say. I mailed the book on Friday, so hopefully you’ll get it soon.

  • cjnsmom

    Dear Angie-
    I found your blog from linking onto someone alse’s that had ours posted and I am so greatful that I found it.
    I cannot imagine the pain that you and your Family are feeling right now. Not only to lose your precious daughter but your Nephew as well. I belive that so many people feel that Christians don’t feel the pain that so many others, we do, BUT our pain is softened by knowing that our Children are safe in God’s hands and we will be with them again.
    I only have one little boy, C.J.,I would love for you check out my blog, and at times I just don’t know if I can bring another child into this world, for Him/Her to have to deal with all that goes on. Maybe because I am struggling so deeply with this issue it is God’s way of saying C.J. maybe all I need, time will tell I guess.
    I will be praying for you Angie and I posted your blog on mine so others may log on and pray for you as well.
    If you ever need anyone to talk to , I am sure you have a HUGE support system, feel free to e-mail me and I will give you my number.
    God bless you and your Family and your Daughters are just precious!

  • kris

    “I needed to believe in the harvest that is up ahead, and to trust that God is going to redeem the hurt”.

    I can barely type, because I can’t see the words, because they are blurry through the stream of tears.

    It’s amazing to have seen this post today, for the first time since finding your site, I was on my knees praying for you in church. I’ve prayed for you here, in my home, but it was you in my heart today at church. And a portion of the first reading brought you to my mind: (Hosea 6)

    “Let us know, let us strive to know the LORD;
    as certain as the dawn is his coming,
    and his judgment shines forth like the light of day!
    He will come to us like the rain,
    like spring rain that waters the earth”.

    He is the rain. And he is the new life that springs forth from all that watering, from all that pain.

  • queenoftheclick

    Angie,

    I’ve been reading to this blog for awhile now today. Tears pour down my face as I read your words and listen to the music.

    I hope you are thinking about publishing your story for people to read because your story is amazing – the message powerful. I needed to hear your message today to see that God is in your life and you have known he is there through all you and your family have gone through.

  • traci

    everytime I come to your blog I feel like I have just been in a great church service!!! Im not sure if your even aware of the gift you have. The only thing I dont like about your blog is I have to ALWAYS redo my makeup when Im done… Thank you for sharing Jesus even though you are in the storm of your life.

  • Sheryl

    Love it, love it, love it. I know you do not have much time on your hands but if you get a chance I’d love for you to read my last few posts on my blog. I’ve been writing about God bringing beauty from the ashes. It IS painful. My pain is not your pain, but I understand that we love and serve the same God and He’s doing a refining process in us all.

    You inspire me Angie. I will be reading more about the threshing floor.

    -Sheryl

  • Holly

    Your words reminded me of this verse from 2 Corinthians 5:1-3:

    “Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked.”

    God is building the temple on your threshing floor, my threshing floor, the Chapman’s threshing floor. I love to know that in His faithfulness, He is always about building, multiplying and restoring.

    Praying for you, as you work and as you hurt.

    You all are loved and DAILY prayed for…not a day goes by that the Lord does not bring you all (and Nicol’s family) to mind

  • Kristin

    I am always amazed at how the Lord uses those teachable moments with my kids to teach me and reveal issues in my heart that need to be dealt with. It’s funny how that works~ Praise Him for His grace. May He continue to pour out His grace unto you and your family as you build that beautiful altar. Above all may His Name be praised because of it.

  • walkingbyfaith

    Oh Angie, you’ve so beautifully spoken to my heart once again today.

    Thank you.

    I’m still praying for you, Todd, Abby, Ellie, Kate, Nicol, Greg, and Summer along with the Chapman family several times a day. The Lord has really touched my life with your stories of beauty through the pain.

    I appreciate you opening your heart here b/c whether you realize it or not you’re ministering to me, and I’m sure many others with your words.

    Love to you,
    Jenny B
    Arlington, TX

  • boutcrazy

    I found your blog a few days ago and I (like so many others) have been blessed by your writings. God is using you in a great and mighty way. Friday my great-nephew was born. About a month ago I had attended a 2 month old baby’s funeral that had died from SIDS. As I watching little JonMichael stretch and cry, I prayed for all of you and these other dear ones that have recently lost children. Even this, God can use for His glory…and He already has.

  • CityStreams

    Such a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, analogy. The Lord knows just how to comfort his hurting child. And even thought I’ve never tasted the pain you’re going through, I rejoice in the comfort that can only come from the Holy Spirit.

    Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

  • Anonymous

    Angie ~ thank you again!!

    Love, Megan

  • Dre

    I have been following your blog for a while now. Never knowing what to say, because my words simply cannot make anything better.

    The words you write, the things you say, the things that are on your heart, are so deep. So beautiful though. I just cannot believe how many lives you are touching through this blog. I know the Lord has been bringing you guys through some incredibly hard times, which I know I cannot even begin to grasp, but your healing process is beautiful to watch. Even though I know it hurts so bad. One of my favorite quotes is “Could it be? that the healing of a wound could hurt more than what caused it?” I believe God is going to heal you guys and restore the hurt. I just pray that the Lord continues to be your refuge and safe haven.

    You have encouraged me with your posts. I pray that the Lord will in return, continue to encourage you through family and friends.

  • sumi

    Thank you for this beautiful post.:-)

    I knew from a previous word study on that passage that “Jebusite” means “threshed, or trodden underfoot”. That is how my heart looked to me today. Crushed, broken, smashed.

    Your post made me curious to look up the meaning of Jerusalem (Jebus was the original name for Jerusalem) in the Hebrew.

    It comes from two words. The first means: to flow as water (that is, to rain) and the second to be safe, to be completed, to make amends, give again, make good, to give peace, to make prosperous, to recompense, to make restitution, to restore, to reward.

    I love that.

    I love that God can let his mercy flow like rain onto my beaten-up heart and restore it beyond what I can even fathom. He rains down safety, completion, everything that is good, his peace, his restoration, his reward…

  • busy momma

    Lately, I find myself looking to see if there is an update on your blog….often:) Sometimes when there isn’t a new post, I just re-read an older one :) Each one it touching to my heart.
    When I read your blog for the first time, I cried until the words on the monitor were blurry and the urge to go hold my baby was unbearable. I shared in your hearache even though we’ve never met. By the way, I love the idea of meeting a stranger and your story about becoming friends with Sara made me hungry for more friendships!
    Thanks be to God for the words He gives you because your blog posts always make me slow down and give thanks to HIM!! Blessings to your family~ Ashley

  • Lyric

    I am praying as I write these words that you will be inspired, even in the wake of devastation, to worship Him with eager expectation of the harvest.

    Your prayer has been answered.

  • Lisa Laree

    I’m doing a study on Ruth right now, and this week will be in Chapter 3…the threshing floor.

    Your insights have changed what I was preparing; wow.

    Praying for you, too.. ;)

  • Linda

    How your words minister to my hurting heart Angie. In the time when I hurt so badly I didn’t know how to pray, God simply said “Praise”. I think it fits in with what He is speaking to your heart – and through you to mine – we must trust that He is at work; that in the end we will enter a place of greater blessing. In the midst of sorrow and suffering we praise and build an altar – and He begins the work.
    I pray His peace and love will fill your heart.

  • Julie

    What a meaty bible study, just what I needed. Thank you for listening to the holy spirit. I am going to read this and pray for God to touch me deeply where nothing has for a long time.

  • Kim (marygracesummons.blogspot.com)

    Continuing to pray for your family as you miss sweet Audrey and precious baby Luke. So glad you are choosing to praise Him no matter how hard it is.
    With love,
    Kim

  • Jennifer L. Griffith

    I needed to hear this today, Angie. Thanks for sharing your heart and hurts and healing with the world. Through my own painful, albeit quite different trial than yours, God speaks to my heart in his small, still voice of Truth:

    I will restore what the locust have eaten!! (Joel 2)

    I know that God is sifting through my soul to allow the chaff to fly away so that all that’s left is what brings honor and glory to Him.

    Blessing to you and your family. God’s light shines bright amid the dark times you have walked.

  • Carol

    Thank you for such an insightful post. I am eagerly awaiting for my threshing floor to be a place worthy of God to build His Temple… Still threshing, but now with renewed hope! Thank You!

  • Corey Re’

    All I can bring myself to say today…Is AMEN…and may the Name of the Lord be praised forever!

  • Vera

    Angie you are so beautiful, and I thank you for sharing your powerful faith with us. I will re-read these passages tonight.

    I also know about the need to clean when things feel out of control… when my daughter was in the hospital, I once mopped the entire (huge) hospital room floor on my hands and knees with hand sanitizer.

    (((hugs to you)))

  • Anonymous

    I look for your words faithfully everyday within this blog. Please don’t ever go away because I am in a place that I don’t know many people. We just moved here almost 2 years ago and my daughter introduced you to me on her computer. She hooked me up and I am a faithful reader. I also believe that God has a much higher plan for our lives. I know that he will never give us more that we can handle in our daily lives. To speak the words so delicately about the trials that your entire family and friends have had to endure is priceless. Thank-you for sharing these works and reaching out as much as you do. It does help me to think daily about what God has provided in our lives. Even in my own life of 52 years, I have had to endure strenghts that I did not know where the power was going to come from. The Lord’s love through Jesus is everlasting and I am happy to say that he helps me get through my daily trials and tribulations. Please keep writing and once again you should share these times through a book. I know this book would be next to my bed to read when I need uplifting. Smile daily for you have been loved by so many and so many people do reach out to you for your words of inspiration.
    Always your friend,
    Jean

  • Jody

    What a blessing it is to read that God is already bringing you so much insight and wisdom through your pain and suffering. You said it, and I know it too- pain and refining is never easy. It hurts to go through the process. Just as gold is refined by the heat of the fire. But God does have a plan and a purpose and He can always be trusted to bring us through these heartaches and trials- only to some out ‘shining for Him’ on the other side.
    I wouldn’t choose the road I have had to walk. But I thank God almost everyday now, that He chose it for me and had the mercy to allow my suffering only to make me into a person who is more like Him- more worthy to be called His child.
    I know as my Father, that God aches and weeps with me in my sorrows. But He also brings forth so much goodness out of the process that it makes me love Him more and more.
    You are being prayed for. Nicol and Greg are being prayed for. All the Smiths and Sponbergs are being thought of and prayed for daily. I hope you sense those prayers in your most desperate moments. Including the ones where you find yourself scrubbing the floors.
    Love and prayers as you make your way through this refining process.
    {By the way, in my early days of grieving I had the opposite reaction. I thought I would never turn the vaccuum on ever again. It just seemed so pointless to me to care about life when my world had fallen apart. Now I praise God when I pull out the vaccuum- it is a reminder to me how far I’ve come. You will get there too. One step, scripture verse and tear at a time.}
    xoxo

  • Kristina

    Thank you for posting this. You have been helping me open my eyes to my own faith, and for that I am ever so grateful.
    I have never lost a child, but I have suffered some other losses in my life. Cleaning is a very normal way to heal. Even now, when upset, I clean. So clean away!
    Praying for you and your family.

  • TAITx3

    Beautiful. ~Kara

  • Honea Household

    I loved your post. I like how you said at the end that your heart was broken but your hands were busy. Keep sifting and winnowing. God will redeem the pain. I just love you so and pray for you daily.

    There is a band here in our town and they are actually growing and getting bigger. The name of their band is “Ornan’s Floor”. I went to college with a bunch of the guys, and highschool with one of them. They got the name from the verse that you referenced in your post. You can visit them at: http://www.ornansfloor.com and they also have a myspace: http://www.myspace.com/ornansfloor

  • Vicky

    Funny story to go along with what Ellie said…
    My friend used to teach preschool Sunday school. One day she told a boy that he needed to share– that Jesus would want him to share. A few minutes later, he came up to her, looked at her necklace, and said, “Teacher, are those pearls real?” “Yes,” she replied. And with the sweetest, most innocent look on his face, he asked, “Will you SHARE them with me?”

    Thank you for sharing this lesson… not only about your girls but also from God’s Word. Your blog continues to challenge and inspire me.

  • georgia tarheel

    WoW! What amazing insight and such a way with words to convey it all. You inspire me to be more for my Lord.

    I pray for your family all of the time and will continue to do so! May His peace wash fully over you and may His presence rest where you are.

    You are covered in prayer.

  • Worshipping One

    Oh sweet Angie, thanks so much for sharing with us the “treasure” the Lord showed you in His Word! As I know this is the toughest season of your life, it also in some way has to be the sweetest, because you are expereincing God what can only be learned on the threshing floor. I marvel at the short time you’ve been a Christian. I praise God for you and the testimony of your faith in Him through such tough circumstances. My husband wouldn’t let me read to him the entry’s surrounding Lukie’s funeral… he said it was too sad, and asked how i could stand to read it. I tried to explain that I’m riveted to the blogs because it encourages me and strengthens my faith. It’s not because I don’t find it to be sad! My heart aches for all of you…but I’m encouraged at the grace and strength God is given each of you. Thank you for sharing your pain and lessons with us.

  • Susie

    Angie, I found you a while back, but somehow didn’t manage to keep track of where I had been, until Kara wrote to all of us. I know you hear it, coz I hear it – but you’re amazing. In an odd way, I’m jealous of the way you’re going through it all – in that you can cry, you can put your time into things like cleaning, and that your eyes are on God. I struggle to keep my eyes on God right now. I know He’s the one keeping me from driving my car into a ravine, but the closeness isn’t there that I covet.
    I’d like to link you from my site, and from now on your on my bloglines, so I can keep track of your family. I’m sorry for your loss, and for the loss of Luke too. What beautiful children.

    - Susie Sams, Oceana and Joshua’s Mummy
    mnssams.blogspot.com

  • Emily

    You bless me so.

  • Jenny

    I loved this post. So beautiful. I love that Todd got down on the floor with you to clean. To me, that is such a beautiful picture of the love you two share.

  • Dee

    Did you give that purse way? Kids do this and we do too so very often. Thanks for reminding us to give away our best.

  • mama2lsa

    As a grieving mother I am simply amazed at your faith walk. I’ve been a Bible believing, Christ seeking, Faith walking woman for many years but just a couple weeks after my daughter died, at 5 days of age, my faith seemed so inaduquate.
    You are really an inspiration. The Lord is already using your “Threshing Floor Experience” as a light for those of us still struggling with things that don’t make any human sense! Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for speaking truth. Thank you for giving a voice to all of us grieving mothers. Thank you!

  • Kelly

    Angie – I just want to worship that same Jesus that you love so dearly. (I love Him too).
    This is beautiful. Again you have awed me with your wonderful writing. It’s so raw and honest and convicting.
    I think of you daily and pray for you more than that.

  • the parental unit

    ((((HUGS))))
    Love and Blessings to you, Angie.

  • Michelle

    I never want your post to end…ha! This weekend we got out Baby James’ fountain and memorial bench and started working in his “garden” and my first emotion was anger and it was so strong that it surprised me, I hated the fountain the first year that my husband got it, I remember thinking, “I don’t want that stupid fountain, I want my boy.” Today I still wish I had a little boy running around my yard but I am so thankful to have this beautiful gift from my husband and a loving Father who I know has a beautiful, healthy boy running around heaven, sometimes I wonder will he be grown wen I get there or will he be a baby..but what I know without a oubt is he is there and I’m ging to be with him someday…Angie thank you for your testimony and the faith you have!

  • Runningamuck

    That was so beautiful and so true. And the girls, well, they just crack me up! Completely!

    Thanks for sharing your teaching moment. I, too, love the whole spiritual significance of a threshing floor.

    And I’m a cleaner too, sshhhh!

  • Debbie

    You are a powerful lady. The very day you came to our church (CPCC) with your husband telling “your story” and then, the most touching part in the entire story, when YOU came up on the stage….I lost it. We pray for you and your families….words cannot describe how I truly feel. But I know God is in control and you are a powerful, powerful part of HIM! Much love to you all…

  • debra

    I have so enjoyed reading your blog.
    Your words are honest and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    (The Method cleaner is worth the $…I often find it cheaper at Big Lots.)

  • stapes

    God is using you so much to help me. I’ve been keeping up with your blog and looking to you as a fellow mother who is grieving. Thank you for helping me to keep my focus on God. I have never met you, but someday I hope to. My baby should come in just a few more months and we are expecting that he won’t stay for long. You have shown me that even in the pain, God is still God and still has a very perfect plan. Thank you.

  • collybird

    I haven’t commented on any of your recent posts Angie because I just can’t see to find the words.

    I cried when I read about Luke’s passing but then I smiled because I thought of him with Audrey. I’m sure the image of them playing together in heaven warms your heart as it does mine.

  • christi28

    Wow Angie!

    “God is going to redeem the hurt.”

    That stood out to me and touched my heart. Thank you for your words today and know that I am praying you and your family.

    Be Blessed!

  • Momma-of-5

    Angie,
    I want you to know that your family is being prayed for something fierce here in NJ. One of my best friends’ husbands’ (she only has one husband…I’m not good in english…grammer…whatever) ANYWAY…her husband went to school with Greg at Wheaton. Scott Hosier. We also have a friend that has a “Lukey” and gave birth to her 3rd a little after Nicol did. The 3 of us ladies are bonding together in prayer for you guys. And WE’RE being blessed. It’s brought us so close together focusing on something other than us. Other than our church (& our current church politic struggles). We’re being thankful for little things, too. But most importantly…it’s brought us to a new level of relationship with our Lord. We’re not just praying at our devo time. or before a meal. or before we put the kids to bed. But all day long. Please keep the specific prayer requests coming. I’ve come to really love you and your family.

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Chris, Keely,& Eli

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for pouring out your heart for us to be challenged by- you have truly been an inspiration to me and made me draw near to Christ during this difficult time in my life after having my third miscarriage just a few weeks ago. During Church I felt like God told me to check your blog, so I did soon after getting home and was blessed to read it. When I read it i was reminded of the song by Hillsong that goes like this:
    I will never be the same again,
    I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk apart, I’ll run the race and I will never be the same again.

    Fall like fire, soak like rain,
    flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,and let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

    There are higher heights,there are deeper seas,whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.The Glory of God fills my life,and I will never be the same again.

    May you have a blessed week!

  • Amy

    Christ spoke through you to me when I needed it most. God Bless.

  • Jen

    Dearest Angie, every time you write I just want to give you a huge hug and say “Thank you and I love you *so* much!” I have another question to add to my ones from before when you asked… how does a controll-y-ish person like yourself (you seem so similar to me sometimes!) give yourself so completely to God like you do? I know I still hold some parts of me back… and it frustrates me so, because I want to be 110% sold out for Jesus… but the idea also frightens me.

    Oh… and did the purse go? *grin*

  • Courtney

    Your testimony encourages me to deepen my faith and trust in God.Through your pain you are speading seeds of Christ to many. I think of you often and pray strength and peace for you!

  • Kristi O

    I am new to your blog. I watched your video a few weeks ago from the Memorial Service and have shared it with some friends. It really rocked my world. I have come back daily to your blog to pray, to thank GOD, to cry, to speak life over your girls. I call on the Father for you and for your extended family during this seasion. come JESUS!

  • Mattam

    I am still praying for you. Thank you for such a beautifully written and touching post.

  • Tina Vega

    Beautiful Angie…

  • Sun

    Amazing. What an amazing thing God showed you in His Word. I will be in prayer for you and your sweet family. Sunshine

  • Old DAN AND Little ANN

    I have always loved what David said at the altar, in essence, “I will pay you. I will not offer up to my God sacrifices that cost me nothing.” We MUST remember that He COSTS and He COUNTS! Thank you for these thoughts!

  • Jenna

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Angie. As always, as I read your words, I can feel God pouring out of each one. Praying for you…

  • Anonymous

    Angie~
    Your writings inspire me so much. I cannot begin to express how sorry I am for all of your pain and suffering. Just know we all are praying for Jesus to ease that pain. I check the blog everyday because your messages make me want to be a much better Christian and an even better mother, wife and friend. God Bless You and your family!
    Chele

  • Kristi

    We just keep praying for you all.

  • Laura

    thank you for blessing us.
    you truly are a gift from the Lord.
    May He continue to hold you close day after day.

  • Andrea

    Wow, I’ve never thought of the stories like that before. What a great representation – I’ve been there when I put my baby in another person’s arms, almost like Abraham and Isaac (minus the ram and all). But, I was threshed and new life came from me…and him after his surgery. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  • dancingdreamer

    Angie,

    Your beautiful words resonate in my heart. The Lord had me on “The Threshing Floor” for a long season. But in the midst of it, I began embracing the sadness and difficulties. The valley is where the most valuable treasures are found. The Lord has given me priceless gems that I could have never gained without the pain.

    Know that your sorrow is not in vain. The Lord will use your story in a mighty way to bring glory to His name. He already has begun an amazing work.

    Philippians 1:6

    Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

    Lord, surround Angie with your peace and grace as she mourns the loss of her daughter and her nephew. Reveal Yourself to her in the most unimaginable ways. Amen.

    Blessings,
    Amy

  • Jody

    Thank you so much for this! We didn’t have the money for a b-day gift for my kids’ friend’s birthday party today. Been going through some tough times financially. I had thought over & over that maybe we shouldn’t go since I couldn’t come up with anything we could give him, but the kids had been looking so forward to it. I decided he would love our guinea pig & I asked his mommy & she said he could have it. The kids were a little sad, but when he seen the guiena pig in the box, his face lit up! And now the kids are glad they gave our precious little pig to their friend :)

  • Anonymous

    Dear Angie,

    I am one of those people who cannot pass the computer without checking to see if you have added a post. You inspire me to lean on HIM more & TRUST HIM more. I just want to remind you that I go to sleep at night praying for you & your family. When I awaken each morning, the first thoughts are of you & your family & I start praying again. GOD is watching over your family Angie. I am always amazed and at the same time thankful for your honesty in your writings. God has truly given you a gift that you are using for HIM. Please remember that I do CARE about you & I DO LOVE YOU, Secret-Saintly-Sister of mine……Love, Rose in Nashville

  • Kathleen in TX

    What a beautiful, inspiring post! Thank you. I am still praying for your family and for Nicol and Greg also.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Brian & Amelia

    I happened upon a post and a link to your blog on a friend’s a few days ago. I guess I mostly just wanted to thank you for who you are, and what you (and your family, and Audrey) has done for me. I have recently miscarried, and found myself hurting more than I’d expected. I am also a Christian, and find my peacein the Lord and His plan for us – although it doesn’t take the hurt away, still. I thank you for your strength and faith, as it has reminded me of the relationship with the Lord that I have let slacken. It is so great to have the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the gift He has given to each of us through His sacrifice – and the knowledge of eternal families!! I also find strength in the many “invisible” women out there who have (and are) experiencing loss. It is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing your life and experiences with us.

    My deepest sympathies for you and your sweet family in the loss of your Audrey Caroline. And also for little Luke and his family. You all wil be in my prayers, and my heart.

  • Kristi

    You are such an inspiration. I know with every fiber of my being that you will be richly, richly rewarded for your faith and testimony during this time. Very few people could stand where you’re standing, and have the faith that you do. Well done, sister. May God bless you and your family, and redeem the time.

  • Chunky Monkey

    I really like your blog.It helped me remember why we have trials and how they make us more beautiful and make our testimonies of Christ stronger.Thank you for that.My heart goes out to you and your family.

  • Nicole

    After two miscarriages in 2006, and going through a heart-wrenching divorce right now, I still have to have faith in God. I don’t clean, but I find peace in the silence as I sit here alone.

    “And I am still and wait here in the silence, until You come and sit awhile with me”

    There’s nothing else left to do.

  • Lisa

    Your family is on my heart daily as I continue to pray for His healing balm to cover your heart and deepest hurts.

    Your depth in God is enviable and inspiring. I would love to sit with you with and hear you pour your heart out, but in a way I feel like we are doing that here, and I thank you for that.

  • Jaci

    Angie,

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your heartache. There are so many things I would like to say, so many ways I feel I can relate and in the same breathe so many ways that I cannot relate…so I just want to say thank you. Your faith, your heart, your honesty, your way with words have been of great encouragement and inspiration to me and I am sure to all who read.

    Praying for you and thanking God for your precious family.

    Jaci

  • Anonymous

    Thank you, Angie.

    Casey

  • J.C.

    Beautiful, Angie. So deeply inspiring. I can see just a glimpse of God’s plan in you through your response to tragedy.

  • Carla

    That was a beautiful post. Thank you. You’re an inspiration to all of us. Know that your entire family is in my prayers.

  • Mrs. MK

    Nothing is meaningless, everything is ordained by our wonderful God for his glorious purpose. I was touched once again by this truth as I read your post…..thank you…..I always need reminding as this road of grief is bizzare and fragmented and sometimes just so…..senseless. Praise God that we are not left with only our feelings….but his Word to fall upon….a standard of immovable and uncompromising truth.

  • Scott

    Even if you don’t know or realize it. Your strength is amazing! Because even in our weakness he is strong!

  • Elaine

    global.netThank you, Angie, for bringing this to the surface today.

  • Anonymous

    Bless you guys! I have been praying for you and your family! Julie Schaal (Carroll, IA )

  • Emily

    Thank you so much for sharing that! We have been struggling with infertility for a few years, and today was one of those days, where… Well, anyway, thank you for sharing that Scripture. It really spoke to my heart.

    I have shed many tears with you and your family, and pray for you often.

    I hope you have a blessed day!

  • karla

    You have no idea how much I also personally needed this today. Thank you. God bless you and your family.

  • Anonymous

    Hi Angie. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but I’ve been on vacation, and I’m just now checking back in. When reading your previous post, I learned about Luke. I’m so very sorry. Ironically, I live in the Nashville area, but I am originally from Dalton, GA. I actually attended Grove Level Baptist when I was younger. If you get a chance, please email me at brandihholloway@yahoo.com. I know there’s not much I can actually do to make them feel better, but I would like to offer my sympathy to Luke’s family, so if they don’t mind, please email me their home address.

    I’m always amazed at how small the world really is.

    Thanks,
    Brandi

  • The Hull Munchkins

    What a wonderful reminder for us to seek First His Kingdom! We can’t see the big picture from down here, but we can trust that God will work all things out for His glory… and for our good.
    The waiting is so hard.

    Bless your family as you continue to grieve the loss of Audrey and your nephew, Luke.

    Thank you.
    -Patty

  • Shawnda

    What a beautiful picture you have give to us straight from His Word. So thankful how the Lord gave you such sweet encouragement in the midst of such pain. “Though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your Name”. NOT an easy statement to make or to live out, BUT He is worthy, and we know this, so we press into Him for the grace to do so, for He has promised that His grace is sufficient.

    Thanks for sharing, sister!

    And I love the book of Ruth, by the way! : )

  • karen44

    When I’m upset I tend to bake. I used to clean, but now I bake. (Maybe that’s why I’ve put on some pounds?! ;o)

    I’d never put those images together… of the “heroes of the faith” and their threshing floor stories. It really is a beautiful picture of how God has everything under control in every era. In time we’ll understand. For now, we just need to trust and know that God is good.

    Loving your family today,
    -karen l.

  • Darlene

    Once again, your post blessed my day. My family is still praying for your family.

  • Hopesrising

    About a week ago my Daughter had her second miscarriage. It was so hard o see her go through things as she did.
    I came home from the hospital and reread your post about the Pitcher.

    I am like you Angie that when I hurt I clean. Its then when I can think and move forward.

    Each time I come here and feel so blessed by what you write. Like to day I laughed about the Barbie and Ken. But then you really made me think through your metaphors and scriptures as well. Again I am taken back..but I am oh so blesed by you sharing your relationship with God with all of us.

    I continue to wrap your family in prayers daily.

  • Lynsey

    Instead of spending my son’s naptime doing something productive, I sit here, absolutely crying my eyes out as I read your blog. I am so sorry for your loss, as well as the loss of your nephew. I can’t imagine the emotions you have felt these past few months. It only proves to me even more how much God is present in our lives. He has chosen you to be strong, strong enough to endure what you’ve endured. Praise God and keep Him in your heart. With every tear I just shed, I know that He is in mine. Bless all of you.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Paul & Angela Jenkins

    I’m in awe of your ability to focus on the moment and express yourself. When my mother died I did all the right things but never cried a single tear. I was busy with funeral preparations and closing up her house thus had no time for crying. Now I wished I had sat and cried and felt some kind of emotion. Bottling it all up produces zero fruit.

  • Tasha

    Angie,

    I just came across your story and blog. Your photos are gorgeous and I am so glad that Tom was able to be there for you and provide you with these priceless memories.

    I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious, beautiful Audrey and sweet Luke. I cannot even begin to imagine the heartache that your family is experiencing as they are dealing with this great heartache and pain.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all….

  • Found

    Discovering your blog, reading your story and the “winnowing” you all are going through is like reading an amazing, miraculous, painful yet awesomely beautiful tale of love from scripture.

    I cry because I hurt with you all, though I’ve never met you, and I praise God for your faithfulness to cling to Him and to encourage others during this time!

    I too love the whole concept of the threshing floor…it’s something the Lord has been speaking to me about lately too. I’ve been studying Ruth and the Old Testament holiday of the Feast of Weeks.

    The other day as I was making the bed the Lord really spoke to my heart that every one of us has chaff to be removed. I can’t escape the threshing needed to harvest the new creature He’s made me out of the old, dead one (the chaff).

    He’s taken me to the threshing floor before and I believe He’s preparing to take me again!

    Hold us close Jesus!!!
    sheila

  • Anonymous

    Thank – you, Tabatha in GA

  • Kasey (Ethan’s Mommy)

    Angie, though we do not know each other, you have continually renewed my hope and my faith in the Lord with your posts. I am a first-time mom to a beautiful 4 1/2 month old son who was diagnosed 2 months ago with a rare form of infant leukemia. In my weakest of moments, God often speaks to me through your strength. Thank you for sharing your heart in such a personal and sincere way.

  • Amy

    Angie,
    I found your blog ‘by chance’, and am at a loss for words. I am praying for you and your family, and for precious baby Luke’s family.

    Thank you for your wonderful words.

    Amy in Iowa

  • Marla Taviano

    Can I just echo what everyone else said? Wow, Angie. Thank you.

  • southern queen bee

    What a wonderful Blog..I did not know about this these sciptures, I realize how much I don’t know. THANK YOU in your pain you are teaching others. I did not lose a baby, but my brother passed 6 years ago this month and the pain is still here. You just learn how to try and move on for the other members in the family. I to went through the cleaning. First I had to clean out his few belonging he had aquired in 23 short years, then I came home and started thowing out tons of things that just did not matter anymore to me. You are not alone…Thank you for sharing…MISSY

  • Heather Ledeboer

    I know what you mean about cleaning. I am greiving as well and cleaning my home one room at a time in the process. Thank you for your beautiful words.

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • John & Kelly

    I can’t imagine that as #127 in the comments this will make it to you. but I have a desperate question. in your story at the beginning – you said “my jesus is the same as before I walked into this room”. how do I find that faith again – I had it. but I am assuming now it was built on sand b/c it is gone. my son was born at 23 weeks & 4 days. He is alive! So many little ones aren’t – I don’t understand and I so desperately need to get to “this” place. how? it sounds like you have always been there and stayed there? how?
    kelly – http://www.prayforkyle.com

  • Anonymous

    I lost my song when my son died. God gave it back to me–but I had to be silent for a long time-and let others sing. I’m praying you get your song back someday too.

    Psalm 40: 1 I waited patiently for the LORD to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.
    2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
    He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.
    3 He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
    Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
    They will put their trust in the LORD. (NLT)
    Psalm 71: 20-23 (MSG)
    You, who made me stare trouble in the face,
    Turn me around;
    Now let me look life in the face.
    I’ve been to the bottom;
    Bring me up, streaming with honors;
    turn to me, be tender to me,
    And I’ll take up the lute and thank you
    to the tune of your faithfulness, God.
    I’ll make music for you on a harp,
    Holy One of Israel.
    When I open up in song to you,
    I let out lungsful of praise,
    my rescued life a song.

  • Nixter

    wow – thanks once again for sharing your heart!

    We have just started a sermon series on Ruth at church this past Sunday.

    Thanks for your honest and encouraging words – you are a blessing, even all the way here in Australia.

    We are all sisters in Christ and part of one body, no matter where in the world we are :)

  • kristen

    Just wanted to email you all the way from Australia.
    Your blog bought me to tears and I couldn’t stop reading it.
    I have been secretly grieving for the past three years for the daughter I don’t have. I have four beautiful boys but until now haven’t felt complete.
    Sweet baby Audrey has made me realise this is my greater plan. I really am happy and know I don’t want another baby. She has shown me that I already have so very much. I am blessed with my fours sons incredible love.

    I think I was just thinking I would miss that mother, daughter bond but I now know I will just have a stronger one with my boys.

    Three of my four boys have disabilities and it just doesn’t matter.
    They are beautiful as are your absolutely stunning girls,

    I hope you don’t mind but I have just emailed my friend Sheye Rosemeyer and told her she must read your story. She lost her Ava 12 months ago and her blog is lovely too.
    Thank you angel girl Audrey. You will be on my mind often. You can be my guiding angel daughter. Sending your family much love
    from Kristen at
    http://kristens-memories-dreams.blogspot.com/

  • Liza’s Eyeview

    I grew up in the Philippines, and when I was a little child I used to watch my Aunt do the threshing of rice. When you wrote the following words, I got reminded of it, but now it has a deeper meaning:

    “Basically, it is a place high on a hill (so that the wind can assist the workers), where the chaff and the wheat are separated. The chaff, which is useless, blows away in the wind because of how light it is. The grain is heavier so it falls to the ground and is gathered to be harvested.”

    Thank you for your insightful words.

    Liza

  • Brandi

    simply put….you are an inspiration!

  • Carolyn

    Angie,

    I have followed your blog for some time and have posted now and then. This morning I have an urgent prayer request for another small child. A little boy, Noah Henderson will turn 1 this week, but today is undergoing bloodwork to confirm a suspected fatal genetic disorder. His parents (Jacob & Amanda Henderson) are missionaries with us here in Mexico City and they have asked all who believe in prayer to beg God for their babies’ healing. My mind kept returning to you and the many, many who have prayed for your family. Would you solicit others to pray for this young family – to have faith in God’s power and submission to His ultimate will – whatever it may be? Thank you so much. The bloodwork is being taken today, Tuesday, and sent to the US. They expect to hear results in 7 – 10 days so you can imagine the difficult week that lies ahead for them.

    Thank you so much.

    In Christ,
    Carolyn Brednich (Mexico City, Mexico)

  • a_weak_rose

    I too, clean when I am hurting. . . or angry. . . or worried. The cleaner my house, the more intense my emotions.
    Thanks for the post!

  • momquixote

    My thoughts are with you. May you always find comfort. Thank you for your beautiful post!

  • Lori Fields

    Angie,
    I am Lori Fields, a friend of the Skaggs here in Texas. I wanted to share with you that I have never really studied the concept of the threshing floor….and what I have discovered through your prompting has really blessed me.

    I found an article by Spurgeon on the topic-http://www.spurgeon.org/misc/thresh.htm.

    I wanted to share a bit of what it says, which I belive God has lead me to share with you as a note of encouragement:
    “For the fitches are not threshed with a threshing instrument, neither is a cart wheel turned about upon the cumin; but the fitches are beaten out with a staff, and the cumin with a rod. Bread corn is bruised; because he will not ever be threshing it, nor break it with the wheel of his cart, nor bruise it with his horsemen.”—Isaiah 28:27-28.

    Here is the New Living Translation which helps me – 27 A heavy sledge is never used to thresh black cumin;
    rather, it is beaten with a light stick.
    A threshing wheel is never rolled on cumin;
    instead, it is beaten lightly with a flail.
    28 Grain for bread is easily crushed,
    so he doesn’t keep on pounding it.
    He threshes it under the wheels of a cart,
    but he doesn’t pulverize it.

    “…but the meaning of the illustration is this—that as God has taught husbandmen to distinguish between different kinds of grain in the threshing, so does he in his infinite wisdom deal discreetly with different sorts of men.”
    …”Peradventure some of us to-day are lying up on the threshing-floor, suffering from the blows of chastisement. What then? Why, let us rejoice therein; for this testifies to our value in the sight of God.”
    …”Others, again, are very heavily pressed; but what of that if they are a superior grain, a seed of larger usefulness, intended for higher purposes? Let not such regret that they have to endure a heavier threshing since their use is greater. It is the bread corn that must go under the feet of the horseman and must feel the wheel of the cart; and so the most useful have to pass through the sternest processes”
    “A word or two is all we can afford upon the third head, which is that THE THRESHING WILL NOT LAST FOR EVER.
    The threshing will not last all our days even here: “Bread corn is bruised, but he will not always be threshing it.” Oh, no. “For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee.” “He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger for ever.” “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Rejoice, ye daughters of sorrow! Be comforted, ye sons of grief! Have hope in God, for you shall yet praise him who is the health of your countenance. The rain does not always fall, nor will the clouds always return. Sorrow and sighing shall flee away. Threshing is not an operation which the corn requires all the year round; for the most part the flail is idle.”

    What I saw here is that we are all threshed, but some in a different way than others….but the key is that when this happens it testifies to how much God really loves us. I loved the way that he mentions how some who are threshed heavily may have higher purposes. I can see that in your writing and the way you live a REAL life with Jesus. I shared with Sara that I have never known what it was to truely praise God in the midst of tragedy as she and Brandon have. From your blog, I can see that you and your family have brought Glory to him as well. Thank you for pressing on. THE THRESHING WILL NOT LAST FOR EVER.

    In Christ!
    Lori Fields
    lorisue777@yahoo.com

  • Stephanie Balvin

    I don’t know the pain you are experiencing through the loss of 2 very close to you, but just know your words have inspired me as a mom of 3-4 and under to not throw in the towel as I sometimes want to. I think that it’s not the worth the sacrifice of staying home with them, they will never learn or change. It’s hard and painful to be a full time mom, and it would be much easier to send them to day care for the day and deal with being a mom in the evening. It would be easier to get all the good times rather than the bad, but what good would that do me as a Christ follower? How would that change, form or mature me? So although my struggles are not as deep or painful as yours, just know that your beautiful words inspire me just the same. God’s cool like that- no matter what the issue is, no matter what our stories are- he can bring us all together with the power of his word!

  • Quinn

    I clean when I am stressed as well. I’m taking a trip to Texas this month (a bad state for me)and I’ve found myself unconsciously cleaning EVERYTHING.

  • Melissa

    Dear Angie,
    A friend recently introduced me to Selah and I just found your blog today. I’ve spent the last three hours crying, laughing and crying some more as I read Audrey Caroline’s story. You are an inspiration, such an anointed writer–allowing God to speak to strangers through your words. Thanks so much for your vulnerability and openness, letting total strangers get to “know” you and pray for you.
    Since Maria Chapman passed away, I have felt a heavy burden to pray daily for the Chapman family and now that I’ve read your blog I look forward to adding your family (and Luke and Elliot’s families) to my prayers.
    May God continue to walk beside you each day.

  • Kirsten

    Angie,

    You are amazing and such an awesome witness! Your strength, faith and example have meant so much to me over the last few months as we have walked a similar road of loss. You have encouraged me and helped me to keep my eyes on Jesus through the hardest time in my life. Thank you for being such an example to so many. Your light is shining to many! I LOVE to read your posts.

    God bless you,
    Kirsten

  • Martha

    What great insight. I love the lesson.

  • Mocha with Linda

    Out of the mouth of babes. . . .

    Love that post. We just studied the Old Testament, and I love the goosebump moments when God brings things full circle.

  • Ray

    God bless you…

  • twondra

    You’re amazing. That was beautiful. You always give me so much strength and I want to thank you for that! (((HUGS)))

  • JeannieTheDreamer

    Angie. Thank you.

  • Sal Gal

    Beautiful, I love your insights, thank you! I just love the scriptures and what God can teach us! The Temples are special places, heaven on earth.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,

    You are an inspiration to me. I am going through a very difficult time in my life right now. Your heart and words that come from your heart are lifting me up in Jesus’ name. Thank you so much for your strength and for being real. You are a blessing.

  • Monica

    Angie,

    Once again you are being used to bring me to my face before our God. Thank you so much for sharing your journey through suffering. You bring such a biblical perspective to it. It has been such a blessing to me.

  • Anonymous

    Angie,

    I am on that threshing floor right now with you. I want to build an altar for God, but each morning it seems so difficult to get my feet planted on the ground. Thanks for your story and inspiration.

  • Martha

    Angie, I just found your blog tonight and now it is almost 2 am and I cannot stop reading! Thank you for sharing your journey. How incredible.

  • Susan

    … I needed to believe in the harvest that is up ahead, and to trust that God is going to redeem the hurt.

    Angie, this was just the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read.

    I pray God will turn your mourning into gladness. I pray he will give you a “NEW SONG”, I pray He will continue to use you to touch so many hearts.

    Thank you for showing me how real this scripture is:

    “This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life.” Psalm 119:50

    Praying for you, and giving thanks.

    Looking forward to meeting your sweet Audrey one day♥

  • Anonymous

    You know you are teaching your children to think they are above “The poor kids” just by using that phrase. I mean how many times was that phrase you’d between you and your children? Your not teaching them that we’re all the same in God’s eyes. It’s like saying because we have a little more money then these people “We are the rich, and don’t need anything” These people don’t have the money we have so they are “The poor people” Not a very good way for your children to grow up looking at the world. Would they be able to have “poor” friends? or could they only have “rich” friends. I have some friends that have millions, and you’d never know it by the way they DON’T seperate the poor from the rich. You know even “The Poor” have some pride…

  • Stephanie @ Frugal Fantasies

    Angie,

    I want to thank you for being so willing to share your time in the word. Your perspective is beautiful, honest, and inspiring. I appreciate that you have allowed us to learn and grow along with you.

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful beautiful blog. Please take a moment to check out this blog that I also read.

    This woman also lost a little girl and writes about it in amazing, wonderful ways that I know you will relate to and appreciate.

  • Mark and Niki

    As I sat in my recliner tonight feeling broken, an having my own pity party for one, you have no idea how you have blessed my life. Thank you for sharing.

  • Michelle

    I stumbled across your blog and I have sobbed my way through all of your entries. It is amazing how much sadness and pain you can endure and still have such a strong faith. Your story is heartbreaking, yet life affirming. Your family is gorgeous. Your words so poigniant. Words can not express how sorry I am for your loss and for that of the families of the other babies you mention. So much grief, so much love. Thank you for sharing your journey. My heart and prayers go out to you and the other families. I wish you peace and happiness.

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