The Valley of Baca

So many of you have written to ask me about Greg and Nicol, and I want you to know how much it means to me (and to them).  We went to Chattanooga and spent the day with them last Thursday.  We ate some delicious pizza, then went for ice-cream and on to the Children’s Museum.  It was a day of just watching our kids play and talking about this and that.  There were many conversations about life in general and then we would talk about what they were feeling and what we were feeling, and just the whole thing.  There were moments where we just laughed in spite of the hurt, because our spirits grow weary of the pain.  There are days where we drift farther into the abyss of sadness, where the thought of life ever being normal again is painfully absurd. There are other days where God just sits beside us and we know that we are going to survive this.  Mostly, it’s a mix, I guess.
When we were at the Children’s Museum, the kids did a little “archaeological dig” where they got to wear hats and jackets and climb in the sand to dig for bones.  It was really cute.  There was also a giant Clifford display that they loved, as well as a human-sized bubble-maker.  The girls loved being together, and  do did we.  It was fun to just let them all play and love life together (and also to laugh as several moms STARED at me while I ignored Kate’s nasty diaper because I so wanted to finish ONE grown up conversation…my resistance is strong…they cleared out.)
There are some things I would like to ask you to pray about.  The first is about their house. They have mixed feelings about wanting to be there anymore, and are currently staying with friends.  It has been an incredible blessing to them to have so many who are loving on the and making themselves available.  It is a hard choice to make, and they don’t want to feel rushed in it.  Please pray that the Lord will urge them in the direction they should go, and then give them a peace about whatever that is.  If you feel a strong desire to pray for them to move to Nashville, maybe even to my neighborhood, go with it.  :)
Please pray that God will use this time to strengthen their marriage.  Anyone who has lost a child understands the strain that is usually put on the marriage.  They are holding up really well, but I am praying this because I understand it firsthand.  It is such a foothold for Satan.
Please pray that Summer will not remember more than the good memories she has of Luke, that none of the fear and sadness surrounding the events after his death will stay with her.
Please pray for wisdom and discernment as far as “the next step in life.”  Where do they go? do? Who are they going to be in this “new life?”
Please pray that God would erase from Nicol and Greg’s memory the horrible moments from the night Luke died.  I know for me it is so easy to just play things over and over, and I am asking the Lord to simply erase the hard parts and help them to cling to who he was.
Please pray that the image of heaven will be so overwhelmingly joyful that they will be able to fully resign their hearts to the image of him being there.  I remember someone telling me that Steven Curtis Chapman was praying this for Maria, and I also prayed it for myself.  Lord, show us the Glory of your dwelling place.  
 As I have prayed about this post, I have felt led to ask something of you, my readers and my friends.  The other night I had this idea that we could organize a way to pray for the Sponberg’s specifically through scripture.  I asked the Lord to tell me which scripture He wanted us to pray for them, and He brought to mind one of my favorite Psalms.  It is Psalm 84, and no matter where you are in your walk, I hope that this blesses you.  It is truly one of my favorites, and I think that the idea of so many of us praying over the same words on their behalf would really open a new, fresh flood for them.  
Please prayerfully (and sloooowly:)) read the following Psalm.  I could meditate on this one all day long.  As you read, think about what heaven must be like, and ask yourself if your soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord.  Do you want to be there with Him so badly it hurts sometimes? Does your flesh cry out? I know that most of the time I don’t feel that way, but now that Audrey is there it makes me want it so much more.
This is my prayer request for today, on behalf of The Sponberg’s.  If you feel comfortable, read Psalm 84 (maybe even a few times, or tape it up at work/home so you can see it!), praying for them as you digest it.  These are the words that tell us where our babies are, the words that tell us what we can do in the wake of loss…to remember what heaven is.  
Do you know what my favorite part of this Psalm is?  It is verse 84:6, where it talks about the Valley of Baca.  So easy to skip over, because, seriously, what is Baca?????  Well, I want you to find out for yourself so that you can see how easy it is to “dig down” into scripture. I hope this will become a great tool for you….here we go!!!
2.  You will see the “Resources” heading on the left, and under that you will see “Bible Study Tools.”
3. Click on Commentaries.  I really like “Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible” by Jamieson, Fausset and Brown and also the Matthew Henry Commentary (the Concise one:)…you will see that option.  
4.  After you select a commentary, you will see all of the books of the Bible.  In this case, find Psalm 84….click on it… be blessed by their amazing insights about scripture…how easy is that!!!! You’re learning already!!!  
 The Valley of Baca….they make it a place of springs.  This is my prayer for them. 
Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah 
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
9 Look upon our shield,  O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
                  
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.
So…read….pray….study…read…pray.
And if you do, feel free to post a comment that just says “praying.”  what an amazing gift to be able to see all of those faithful names, sending prayers for our sweet Nicol and Greg.
I also wanted to let you know that the friend I spoke of the other day did not receive good news at her ultrasound.  It appears that her sweet baby is no longer alive.  She will more than likely have further testing this week, and I am not afraid to pray for a miracle.  Maybe you could pray with me for her as well.
A.F., you are a pilgrim of the rarest sort.  The Lord Himself knows your heart, and your longings.  I want you to know that I am doing as Jacob did once, and I am committed to holding fast until He chooses to bless you, one way or another. I am thankful for you, and with you in spirit.

May God bless you each today, and again, thank you for your prayers.
Angie

p.s. the clip that follows is Nicol holding Luke, singing at Audrey’s burial. You will want to pause the blog music to hear her amazing voice. Lord, Jesus, we long for your courts…


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
  • Polka Dot

    praying.

  • Rebekah Walker

    praying…

  • ashlee Hansen

    Angie, Thank you so much for updating us about Nicol and Greg. I have been praying for them and will continue to pray this Psalm for them. I will also keep your friend in my prayers. I have heard that bad news a few too many times. I am hoping to continue hearing good news through this pregnancy, but I know His plan is so much better than mine. Thanks again for your blog. Ashlee

  • HollieHobbie

    You are so beautifully poetic, Angie. Thank-you for putting into words the specifications of how to keep Greg and Nicol in my prayers. I have only been able to say through tears “whatever they need God, please give them whatever they need”.
    I love reading about and imagining the family bond that you all have. Thank-you for sharing with us.

  • Chris

    Absolutely praying.

  • raneyfamilyaz

    I thank you Angie, for encouraging us all to become closer to Him, for sharing your story, and for loving so many, and so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will be praying. Kim Raney

  • stephanie

    praying…

  • Hopesrising

    Keeping your family in prayers as well as Nicol,Greg and Summer.

  • Megan

    I continue to be blessed by your words. Continuing to pray…

  • Kris

    Thank you for the update on the Sponbergs! Praying… earnestly!

  • Corinne

    praying.

  • Tammy

    Praying.

    Thank you for your continued inspiration and discipleship.

    God is an awesome, miraculous God and we sometimes have to look hard for what He does on a daily basis – but He is ALWAYS there.

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    Praying.

    Rose in Nashville

  • Lisa & Madeline

    Thanks for the update on Greg and Nicol. I pray for them and hoped they were doing well. And for little Summer too. You are an amazing writer and I enjoy stopping by your blog to be uplifted by your words. Thanks for adding light to my day.

  • amy

    Praying…

    Every time I hear the song “glory” by Selah, I pray for you. I don’t think I’ve ever longed for heaven the way I have since reading your blog.

    Oh Lord, come quickly…we want to see your glory!

    lots of love to you!
    Amy

  • Out on a Limb

    praying….

  • davidandkatie04

    Praying. :)

  • Jes

    Praying.

    My children were at that very museum just a few weeks ago, when we were in Chattanooga to visit our family, and the ministry that is so dear to our hearts…Precept Ministries International.

    I love that you’re helping your readers learn to dig into Scripture. This is the best gift you could give them (us!).

    Precept Ministries is such a great resource for this, too.

    Kay Arthur has a great book called, “Lord, Heal My Hurts”. God used it in a mighty, mighty was to heal my very broken heart, of wounds I was sure I’d carry all of my life.

    Praise Him!

    Angie, if you’ll send me an e-mail to: whatilearnedfromthewordtoday@cox.net, I’ll send you and Nicol both a copy of the book. You may not be ready for it today, but it will be there for you when you are.

    I might just throw some other treats in there for you too! :)

    If you think of it, would you please be praying for me and several other Precept leaders this weekend?

    We’re having a ladies and teens girls Precept Bible Study retreat, and are so excited about sharing with these women how to study God’s Word for themselves.

    We also have a lot of other leaders who are coming, who we hope to encourage and uplift and help get connected with one another.

    You can check out our blog at http://www.azpreceptretreat.blogspot.com if you’d like.

    We would so cherish your prayers. Our state is starving to death for God’s Word. It’s so unlike TN…when we were back a few weeks ago, and went to church there, I felt like I’d been dunked in the water tank of God’s Word..it was wonderful, but such a stark contrast from here.

    People need the Word. I sing that to myself to the tune of “People need the Lord”…He is the Word.

    Oops..I think I pulled out my soap box.

    Thank you so much for your blog. It’s a blessing to all of us. God is being glorified in your life, even through the heartache.

    What a gift you are!

    I’m praying for both you and Nicole, and your families.

    P.S. I have this picture in my head of your little ones splashing around at Coolidge park, and riding the Carousel. It makes me smile. :)

    In the Love of Jesus,
    Jesica

  • Kristina

    I was just reading that Psalm a couple days ago when I was feeling really discouraged. I recognized the part about “Better is one day in your courts…” from the song, but I don’t remember ever reading about the valley of Baca. I think that’s really peaceful and refreshing sounding.

  • Precious Blessings

    Praying.

    Jennifer in Tx

  • Around the World

    Praying!! I consider it a privilage to pray for your family….

  • Melissa Neal

    praying.

  • Perks

    Praying, praying, praying…

  • Jenn

    Praying and crying….

  • KarenMcD

    praying….

  • Jenn

    praying…

  • Emily

    praying

  • We are THAT Family

    praying!

  • Mocha with Linda

    Oh, thank you for sharing this. And thank you for the video of Nicol singing. How sweet yet heartwrenching to see her singing those beautiful words while holding Luke, having no idea how prophetic they were.

    Praying for all of you.

  • thesteff

    Praying.

  • Under the Florida Sun

    A beautiful scripture. I took time and prayed through it for their family and yours.

  • Jeanine

    Oh Jesus…

  • PrincessBrideJo

    Wow, lots of prayer requests – you bet I am praying this very minute. Thank you for sharing that video.
    I hate to make this about me but reading your blog has made me a better mom. Daily I read something on your blog to remind me how precious my time is with my children and how lucky i am to still have them in my arms as they are not really mine. They are just on “loan” from God.

    Also thank you for not only telling us about The Valley of Baca but showing us how to find the information myself. That will help me for the rest of my life. Thank you.

  • Bridget =)

    praying… and learning about the Valley of Baca. =)

  • KarenMcD

    Angie,

    I have been following your journey for several months now, but have never had the courage to post. I have never been through the loss of a child, but I feel such a connection to you as a sister in Christ. I want to thank you for your willingness to share what you are going through and more importantly what God lays on your heart. You have blessed me and encouraged me so much! I am the mother of two young daugthers and struggle to find the time I know I need to spend in His word. Thank you so much for teaching us about digging deeper into it! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day.

    In His Love,
    Karen McD.

    P.S. My oldest daughter is an Abby Grace too!

  • Carrie

    Praying …

  • Lindsay Miller

    wow…I have been following your blog for some time now and I must tell you…it breaks my heart yet restores it. What incredible wisdom and discernment for the Lord’s voice you have. Thank you for sharing Him with us, through you. Something interesting happened when I clicked to watch the video of Nicol singing at Audrey’s Service, and I don’t consider things like this to be a coincidence. I had muted the music playing on your blog when I first started reading, because I really like to meditate and soak in your words. When I went to play her video I unmuted my sound. At the same time she was singing her song, the Mercy Me song, “Bring the Rain” was also playing. I thought you had added it to the video. It sounded as though it was meant to be that way. She is actually singing in the same key as the Mercy Me song, and it was glorious. You should try it. Start the Mercy Me song at the beginning then scroll back and play her video…amazing.

  • Jessica

    praying

  • Sue

    PRAYING…

  • Mrs. Nichole Jordan

    I am praying for you all.
    Makes my heart hurt.

    Love
    Nichole

  • Melissa

    I’m praying.

  • Mandi

    Praying.

  • The Kirkpatrick Family

    My sister referred me to your incredible sight about a month ago…….I cried at her house as she read some of your blog entries. It took me a month to be able to come back on my own to further read and I haven’t finished all of it yet. I find myself taking little bits of time to return and read more. Angie, your sweetness to continually praise God’s name is such and amazing testimony! We have four children and our youngest is going to be two in a few weeks. I can’t imagine as a mother to loose any one of them and so I to commit to pray for you and for Nicole and Greg. Thank you for the incredible resource to help break down God’s words for those of us whom truly struggle at times making sense out of some of the verbage used. Today I am praying for peace and a very blessed day for your family and Nicole and Greg. All for him!!! xxxxxxxx

  • Abby

    Praying…

  • Elizabeth

    praying

  • The Witts

    praying, praying, praying, praying, praying…

  • sumi

    I was just on the verge of emailing you and asking about them!
    Thanks you for the update. :-) Tell Nichol and Greg I have a special place in my heart for them as one broken-hearted mommy to another… I really have been praying for them, and for you as well, sweet Angie.

    I love the valley of Baca reference. It reminds me of the valley of Achor which is our door of hope (the reference is somewhere in Hosea).

    The best part of the valley scriptures (including Psalm 23′s valley) is that we go ‘through’ them. The day will come when we will move past those narrow, confined and depressing walls and find ourselves in a ‘spacious place’. (Psalm 18:19)

    much love, and hugs as always,
    Sumi

  • Colette

    Praying.

  • Queen B

    Praying.

  • walkingbyfaith

    That video was so beautiful and yet it broke my heart.

    I am praying daily for you, Todd, Abby, Ellie, & Kate…for your friend…and for Greg, Nicol, and Summer. I appreciate more than you know that you’ve given specifics on what to pray for. I love knowing exactly what to pray for. :)

    Praying fervently…

  • Kim

    I’ve been following your blog for some time now, although I’ve never left a comment.

    Please know that I’m praying…lifting you ALL to the throne room of grace.

  • firstinmyheart

    That clip has me in tears… I have listened to Nicol singing “Be still my soul” so many times over the last year on my ipod. It’s one of the most comforting songs ever for me, and the way she sings it is just amazing.

    The clip, with her holding Luke, is so so precious.

    I will continue to pray for them.

    And Angie, thank you for this blog. It strengthens my faith.

    Julia

  • Kelly

    Praying for you, Todd, Greg and Nicol. I love that Psalm. I’m thankful God gave us Psalms for encouragment and solace. Thanks for sharing v.6, I have skipped over it as I’ve read it 100 times. I just think of that song “better is one day”.
    I bet little Luke hasn’t heard any angel in heaven who can sing as beautifully as his momma could.

  • Bittersweet

    Praying

    My mother blessed me with Psalm 84:11 yesterday and today it was the verse from my devotion. I just smiled to myself when you asked us to pray this for Nicol. God is such an awesome God.

  • Hope

    That is the exact scripture that was read at our daughter’s funeral and that we sent out to friends and family afterward. It still brings tears to my eyes to think that better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere, and she only had one day here! What an amazing place she is in, along with Audrey and Luke! I will definitely be praying over this scripture for all the families I know of experiencing this heavy burden right now.

  • Footprints Ministry

    Praying without ceasing!
    Kim Wilson

  • Sara

    praying, praying, praying. praying until my soul stops hurting for you.

  • Gina

    Praying for both of your families. Love the Psalm and thanks for showing the resourse section of crosswalk. I hadn’t noticed it before.

  • The Epsteens

    praying

  • Jaunna

    praying

    Jaunna in Tx

  • iheartchocolate

    praying

    the video…tears

  • Julie

    Praying and learning alongside, in a different way but learning.

  • Tiffany

    Praying…it is a privilege!

  • Princess Motormouth

    Praying, praying, and more praying…

  • Cris and Em

    praying

  • Aub-Margret

    To know you were in my town, at our “zeeum” as my son calls it, warms my heart. We picked taking my mom to the aquarium, otherwise, I think I might have seen you!

    But, I do think about your families often and pray every time I see a post in my reader.

    alli for crumleyblog.com

  • Tiffany

    Praying . . .

  • MBJones

    praying.

  • Jaime

    Praying,
    The clip of Nicol singing gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.

  • Kristy

    Praying!

    I am sorry for your friend who got bad news at her ultrasound. I remember all too well the day my husband and I got the news that our baby was no longer alive – it will live in my memory forever. However, God is so good – He gave us our son Samuel just 13 months later. We are also waiting on our daughter from China.

    You are an inspiration to all of us who strive to be closer to Him on our daily walk. I always look forward to reading what you have to say.

    Love,
    Your sister in Christ
    Kristy

  • Jen

    Thinking of your family and praying that they find their way.

  • Scott and Laura

    Praying!

    Laura in Chicago

  • Debbie

    Praying….

  • Cindy

    My heart just breaks when watching that video. Seeing little Luke’s fingers moving…..praying for their marriage, their family and their decisions.

  • Minnie

    Praying fervently…

  • Erin

    amazing and praying

  • GooChick

    Her voice brought tears to my eyes. I hope the words she sang can bring her comfort now.

  • Jenna

    praying, praying, praying….

  • Maggie the Librarian

    I am praying more than you will ever know. Thank you for sharing this….they are prayers I need to pray for myself as well, but until reading your post, I didn’t quite have the words for them.
    –Beatrix’s mom (we have emailed a bit)

  • Heather

    Praying for the Spongbergs as well as for you and Todd.

  • Mamie

    Praying

  • Mishel

    Continuing to pray…

  • The Ridings’

    I will continue to pray as I do everytime I nurse my 9 week old, Joel, for Nicol and Greg. How even her body must ache for her sweet son, but with tears rolling down my face, I will praise the Lord and cry out for His glory to be found in these circumstances, may we all cry…better is one day in YOUR courts, Oh LORD, than a thousand elsewhere!!!

    With much love and prayer,
    Sarah from Sunnyvale, CA

  • maryanne420

    oh angie, watching nicol sing at audrey’s funeral while she’s holding luke overwhelmed me. i am literally in tears. i am lifting them up in prayers and will commit to praying psalm 84 for them. both of your families are so strong and may God’s grace continue to be abundant in your lives.

  • Darcy

    Praying for Nicol and Greg and their daughter. Deep in Psalm 84.
    Thank you for sharing this Bible study resource. I didn’t know it was out there.
    darcy
    http://ittybittyblog.wordpress.com

  • D.L. White

    Praying…

    Davina in Peoria, AZ

  • Julie

    Thank you for your words and update, Angie. I have prayed so often for Greg, Nicol and Summer…and will continue to pray. I know the pain of staying in a house after a loss of a child…praying for their decision in the coming days/weeks. And for all you mentioned.

    Many prayers,
    Julie

  • Staci

    praying

  • Chele

    PRAYING!

  • okp

    Praying.

  • ginger

    in jesus name may that peace she sang about in that clip. surround her and her husband in jesus name.

    PS. my 3 year old is sitting on my lap asking,”mommy why you crying!…he said, “let pray…so the two of us just prayed for you and i will contiue to lift all of you up to the throne of GRACE!

  • Brian & Amelia

    Praying.

  • Tabitha

    PRAYING!!!!!!!!!!!

  • anita

    praying for all of you…..

  • Erica Shier

    Praying. Right now.

  • Anne

    praying, most certainly praying.
    onegirlfriday.blogspot.com

    also, I offer a piece that my son wrote. Dustin wrote this when he was about 15. He was born with a birth defect, microcephaly and has severe cerebral palsy.

    My Most Important Decision
    Posted by onegirlfriday under Published Pieces, poetry of faith (edit this)
    No Comments
    My Most Important Decision April 24, 1996

    It really is like letting very doomed emotions peel like a banana. Issues in my silent mind are causing domineering tiles of negative thoughts to foolishly build. They tempt me to stop working on my noticed strength and not write. Teased by cerebral palsy , it is tempting to give up.

    Titled notion, about imagined told would have been emerges as self-pity. If doing time on self-pity roller coaster got any etymology awards my canceled voice would win. Great fool that I am, I get used dissected genuine brain tissue. Tests my ability to laugh.

    Emerging in the usual spot in my mind is normality. It is nine sane daring thoughts in a dappled dish.

    At manly morning of Good Friday someone heard my worried lost story. He daringly leant me his nonsoliticited attitude. Barely the action of a tall king, he bailed the world out. Titled Jesus adjusted man’s luck.

    Borrowed temptation for self-pity ails my soul. Deciding to trust Jesus turns this around. The after tiled wall tumbles. Bright ideas enter my mind. Bit by the love of Jesus , I let nets of sorrowful attitudes escape.

    I am a writer. God has given me this ability. I need to remember Easter.

    Eternity is my time to run. Now is my time to write.

    Dustin was a student at the Laurel Springs School , Ojai California and this was a writing assignment. Mark Labberton, First Presbyterian Berkeley, reads “My Most Important Decision” November 3, 2002 Sermon series: Gripped with Reverence, Message: PAYING ATTENTION…….Mark has Dustin’s permission to publish this essay. All other rights reserved.

    Dustin Webb copyright 2007

  • Amanda

    praying..

    Thank you for the update. And, thank you for using the life and death of Audrey and Luke to bring people to God. God did this for us with His Son.

    I’m praying for all of you and all of your readers. There is just no telling the way you are changing hearts all over the world.

  • Carol

    Nicol,
    The song you sang at Audrey’s Burial is one of my favorites of all time. It brought me great comfort when my dad died. I used to sit at the piano for hours while my kids ran around the house and played and I would just sing it over and over. May you feel The Comforter now, and always.

    Praying,
    Carol

  • Janet P.

    Sounds silly but how do you stop the blog music to hear her sing
    Definitly praying!

  • Darlene

    praying

  • Jami Mae Jann

    Praying!!!!!!!!

  • KA

    Praying.

  • WJS

    PRAYING

  • Dede Hunter

    praying

  • Sarah

    Your faithful words and raw emotions have touched me deeply. I know my Lord and Saviour cried with me through my losses–not for them, but for me. I don’t think I fully understood how to depend on the Lord until I had nothing left in my own reserves.

    Your whole family is in my prayers.

  • Gina T2T

    praying…

  • Jenell

    We sold our house five months after our triplets died, and while it was a financially costly decision I have never regretted it. It makes the home where they died a place to go for remembrance, and it has become a beautiful place for that, but for us, moving geographically was essential to creating ‘forward movement’ in other parts of our lives. For others, the opposite is true – staying put is very healing. I will pray for discernment and clarity (or courage in the absence of clarity).

  • Megan

    We sing this song in church often, and I have never dwelt on the fact that my heart needs to be longing to spend my days in heaven. I am praying for Nicol and Greg to embrace this as well.

  • Christie

    Praying

  • Winona

    Angie, Nicol,
    praying…

    How my heart aches, and how our Intercessor feels it so much more.

    Janet,
    Scroll down to the bottom of the page where it shows the the blog music selections. In the top left of that box are buttons like you would see on your cd player.

  • Alisha

    Praying.

  • kim

    praying.

  • Sara

    Praying. Absolutely praying.

  • utahsweeney

    Angie, I will pray for them too. But I want to say that I am specifically praying for the erasing of the bad memories. I have experienced the powerful hand of God in this area of my life. He has erased things in my life that I know happened, but cannot picture in my mind anymore. I will be on my knees praying this for their families. Blessings on all of you.

  • Stephanie

    praying

  • LittleMomma

    Praying…

  • krista

    praying.
    what a beautiful woman and a beautiful voice. the tears just flow as i listen to hear and see her holding that sweet baby boy.

  • I’mFree

    praying…I don’t even know how I found your blog two months ago. But I did and I keep coming back. Your ability and pride in being able to find joy and happiness in any situation. Your words. I have been reading and I have been praying and I finally decided to let you know…praying

  • reidnjess

    praying for you both

  • Mind Your Manors

    Wow! Just what I needed today. Thank you, thank you. I think you have a future in writing bible studies…I am well equipped to face each day after I read your heartfelt words. God is working…God is working!

    Amy

  • Brandy

    as always… praying

  • beckyjomama

    Praying hard.

    So many sweet babies … It hurts my heart, but leads me to look closer to Him. I really don’t know that there is anywhere else to look in times like this.

    I am praying for you ALL, lifting you to the feet of Jesus and to the Father’s loving arms. I pray you feel Him holding you.

  • Kristin

    praying!

  • AJ

    praying… continually.

  • Sydney Elizabeth

    Praying, praying, praying….

  • Janell Fredericks

    PRAYING…!!!

  • Andi

    I read your blog every day….Ive never posted even though I have felt moved to do so several times….I cry for you and your family….I pray for you and your family…you all have touched so many lives. My heart goes out to the Nicol and Greg…..I can’t imagine, nor do I ever want to….I have a little princess who is my world….because of your posts, I hold her closer at nights, stare at her longer when she falls asleep….thank you for touching so many lives Angie

  • Liz

    praying!

    (and if you feel comfortable with doing so, I’d love to see more video from Audrey’s service) Nicol’s voice is beautiful!

  • Deanna

    praying…

    and what a wonderful Psalm to pray! Thank you for the encouragement to “dig”. Angie, I’ve never left you a comment, because truthfully sometimes the pain is still so raw that it hurts. But you seem to read my mind, and type the words that my heart wants to express. Thank you for your boldness, your honesty, and for sharing your pain. It’s comforting to know we’re not the only ones.

    Deanna in Chattanooga

  • meredith

    praying…

  • Joy

    Thank you for sharing the clip of Nicol. It’s hard to see her holding her sweet baby so close to her heart and I just really hurt for the both of you right now. When you walk through the valley know that we’re walking right along with you, but most importantly God is right there too!

    Praying!

  • Steph

    Praying for them… and holding my sweet babies close. Thank you for causing me to pause and really appreciate the ones that God has allowed me to have in this life.

  • Tami

    Praying.

  • olivia and henry

    thank you for this post, and for sharing the specific ways to pray…along with the beautiful footage of nicol singing at audrey’s service. unbelievable. my heart is aching for your family, nicol and her family, scc’s family…so much loss. all so heartbreaking. and yet i pray and i believe with all hope that the Lord is with you all and will make this valley of baca a place of springs.
    you all are loved and prayed for continually.
    angie (dallas, tx.)

  • Cindi

    Angie, I don’t think anyone in my life has ever touched my heart the way that you do and I have never even met you! I am learning so much about myself and strengthening my walk with the Lord every time I read your words of pain and inspiration. Please let Greg and Nicol know that I am praying for them. I am reduced to tears and my heart cries out every time I think of you and also of them. ***love and hugs** Cindi

  • Lauren

    everyday praying…

  • Bttrfly1976

    Praying as He continues to bring each of you to my mind day by day…

  • Whitni and Mark

    praying earnestly…

  • Kylee

    Praying…Praying…Praying

  • Huddle Girls

    Praying.

  • nowamomoffour

    Praying!!!

  • raising2sons

    Praying!

  • Emm’s

    Praying

    Emma
    Denham Springs, LA

  • Tara Marie

    praying.

  • The Barnyard’s

    praying.

  • The Barnes Crew

    praying!!!

  • Hope Wilson

    praying…

  • Amanda

    Seeing that video clip of Nicol singing immediately brought tears to my eyes…oh, God, please comfort your children…

  • Traci

    praying

  • Jennifer

    praying.

  • Annemarie

    Coming to your blog is so emotional for me. I cry every time as I hear your grief, trust, passion and love in every post. I am praying.

    I felt compelled to comment on this post because you said something that has been in my heart for 5 years now. When we have a baby in heaven, it makes us long to be there like nothing else. In a way that I had previously seen in older folks, but could never understand. An aching type of longing. Do I long to see Jesus? Yes, but His Spirit is dwelling within me and that, in some ways, makes it easier to wait to see Him. But my baby, I long to know, to hold and to touch.

    Praying…

  • Life As A Newlywed

    praying :)

  • Anne

    praying

  • jenny67324

    been praying…continue to pray…will always pray…

  • Tiger & Kar

    Praying – unceasingly praying

    Angie, this is my first official post on your blog. I’ve been lurking for awhile and I apologize for not introducing myself sooner. Your words are so beautiful, so inspiring…THANK YOU for sharing such intimate thoughts and experiences with all of us, and thank you for reaching out to those the Lord knows will be touched by all that you post.

    I found your blog through Adriene & Owen’s. My husband & I just brought home our 15 month old son from Russia 3 weeks ago. I, too, lost 2 children prior to discovering God’s plan to unite us with our precious baby boy in Moscow. Please, feel free to stop by our blog anytime if you are able to.

    I felt led today to reach out to your entire family and let you know that I have been praying for each of you since the first day I found your blog.

    Thanks once again,
    Karyn

  • The Kaufmann Krew

    praying.

  • Doni Brinkman

    Praying

  • AJ

    thank you so much for the update.
    praying for all of you !

  • Kendra

    praying

  • Kathleen

    PRAYING…

  • Pamela

    praying.

  • Jessica

    praying!

  • Pamela

    praying.

  • Mmot988

    Praying!!

  • Shawnda

    Oh Angie. I always feel like such a crazy person b/c I come to your blog and cry and cry. Today is no different. Wow.

    Thanks for the update on Nicol and Greg (she does have a beautiful voice!!). My kids literally pray for Audrey’s and Luke’s mommy and daddy every morning.

    We are praying and will pray through this Psalm! I can’t imagine the decisions before them and walking the journey of the ‘new life’, but He has prepared their footsteps for this path, and He WILL give them the grace for it!!! And we will fight in prayer for them to know His comfort and His strength!!!

  • tara

    praying!!

  • The Crawford Family

    praying

  • Precious Blessings

    Angie, though I posted earlier, I have no idea how I missed the clip. It makes my heart ache as I hear Nicols beautiful voice and yet see little Lukes fingers move.

    ALWAYS PRAYING.

  • Laura

    praying…longing for heaven with you and Nicol.

  • Stuarts

    praying…

  • Leeann

    Praying

  • grace

    My sweet sister in the Lord, I have been on my knees for your family and for the Sponbergs. Asking for the miracle that God is big enough to grant, and the grace to accept that He will do what is best for all of His children. We serve a sovereign God and He is faithful!

  • haley

    *praying*

  • Amber

    Whole heartedly praying….

  • Callie

    forever praying

  • The Joys of having Boys

    I am praying….and crying. I have been reading your blog now for a couple of months, though I have never commented I have been praying for you and your family. It was one of those “reading someone else’s blog” then somehow got linked up to yours. I have read every posts from the very beginning. I just wanted to say thank you for the words that the Lord has blessed you with and that you share with us. I lost my mom to cancer a little over a year ago, and even though our circumstances are different the sorrow and grief crosses over and there is that similarity that we have with the pain and hurt and “why’s?”. Thank you for the verse that I am praying for Greg, Nicol and for myself too. I know my mom is in heaven and peace comes with that. As I type this through many tears in my eyes, I know that the Lord is faithful and blesses us in ways we don’t expect. I know it was not by chance that I came upon your blog I am grateful for your honesty and they way you have touched me with your words, thank you.

  • Kristina

    crying…and praying

  • siscaboo

    Praying….

  • Brooke

    praying…(for you as well)

  • Stacy

    Angie,

    I am praying for you, for your family and for your specific prayer requests.

    I am so grateful to a link on a friend’s blog…it led me to your blog and to a new found sense of faith.

    I am Catholic and a faithful church-goer. I pray often – but not with the intensity and urgency that I have since finding your blog. You are an inspiration to so many.

  • Michelle Burrill

    Praying

  • Sun

    WOW – I am praying!!!! I am also linking my blog back to this post so that my friends will come here and read and pray too! I will be praying this over your life as well as Nicol’s – and your sweet friend who will be going back to the doctor this week! I cannot wait to watch and listen to the clip and come back tonight and dig into the study site you gave! You are a precious, precious woman of God! May He pour out blessings upon you and Nicol and your friend – (and of course your husbands and sweet children! Sunshine

  • Erin

    Praying with a fervent heart!

  • Lara

    praying.

    Your faith is inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

  • Ashley

    Praying…

  • seth

    Nicol’s husband Greg graduated the same year my husband did at the Moody Bible Institute. I got to know Nicol a bit through the “Student Wives Fellowship”. Thank you for giving specifics on how to pray for them. I will definitely be keeping them in my prayers. You are all in my prayers as well. Thank you for all of your encouragement to me. You have touched my life more than you know! Sharing the same Savior, Anya Meeks

  • Amy Baumgartner

    PRAYING!!!

  • Cheri

    praying

  • KK

    Praying, without ceasing, for all of your family. Thanks for updating all of us on Greg, Nicol and Summer. Will read and re-read this Psalm and pray over it for all of you. Blessings always, Kaye

  • lisa

    earnestly praying through my tears…

    Thank you for asking us to pray this Psalm. Truely praying these words slowly, with a deep focus on their meaning, while praying them for Greg, Nicol and Summer have opened up for me a new, intensified, meaingful way to pray. Thank you for that gift. Thank you too for the specific prayer requests for Greg, Nicol, and Summer.
    I will continue to pray for each one of you as your hearts and souls grieve for your children gone ahead of you to heaven and as you try to figure out what “new life” God has in store for each of your families. May God grant each of you his comfort and his peace.

    In Christ’s Love,
    Lisa S.

    PS. I must tell you that I have been following your blog for the past month yet this is the first post I’ve made. Thank you for your realness, sincerity, and for challenging me in my daily walk with God. I’ve not cried as many tears as I have reading your recent life story for as long as I can remember! The words God has placed on your heart have brought me much healing and I thank you and praise God for that. To be at peace with knowing my 4th baby–the one I never got to know, due to an ectopic pregnancy–is up in heaven in the arms of Jesus and to be at peace knowing that one day I will be reunited with that soul calms mine. Does that make any sense? You have helped my heart feel the realness of Jer. 29:11, not just know the words–truely feel the meaning. I now feel the goodness that has come from the devestation. I want to sincerely thank you for following God’s calling and for listening to his voice. (I’m just learning how to listen and not do all the talking!:))

  • gailelyn

    praying

  • Lanier

    I have never commented before – and I regret that – given that you have literally been used by God to change my heart about so many things (more on that later in an email). For now, know that I’m praying. For Nicol, for you, for your entire family.

  • Sun

    My sweet friend Kathleen (she lives in TX) – tried to email you and it would not go through. She wanted to let you know she is praying Psalm 84 over Nicol and her family! Sunshine

  • Amy

    On my knees..

  • Tabaitha Kaye

    Praying!

  • The Kielstra’s

    I am also praying.
    Thank you so much for your blog, you have been an inspiration to me. I also just lost my baby girl on May 20th. She was still born at 32 weeks, possibly had trisomy 18, we are waiting for the autoposy results to conferm it. I know what its like losing a child, and I will continue to keep Nicol and Greg in my prayers as well as you guys!

  • Amanda

    Praying…

    Thank you for updating on Nicol and Greg – I have often wondered about them and how they are doing. It breaks my heart what both of your families have gone thru. The singing Nicol did was beautiful. I will continue to pray…

  • vaneblu

    Praying…
    Pls allow me to post the psalm in spanish (spanish is my primary spoken language, and is hard for me to understand the bible in english -go figure why, because I speak and read english fluently- but anyways is nice to pray in another language to ;)
    Salmo 84
    1Cuan amables son tus moradas, oh Jehova de los ejercitos!
    2Anhela mi alma y aun ardientemente desea los atrios de Jehova;
    Mi corazon y mi carne cantan al Dios vivo.
    3Aun el gorrion halla casa,
    Y la golondrina nido para si, donde ponga sus polluelos,
    Cerca de tus altares, oh Jehova de los ejercitos,
    Rey mio, y Dios mio.
    4Bienaventurados los que habitan en tu casa;
    Perpetuamente te alabaran.
    Selah
    5Bienaventurado el hombre que tiene en ti sus fuerzas,
    En cuyo corazon estan tus caminos.
    6Atravesando el valle de lagrimas lo cambian en fuente,
    Cuando la lluvia llena los estanques.
    7Iran de poder en poder;
    Veran a Dios en Sion
    8Jehova Dios de los ejercitos, oye mi oracion;
    Escucha, oh Dios de Jacob.
    Selah
    9Mira, oh Dios, escudo nuestro,
    Y pon los ojos en el rostro de tu ungido.
    10Porque mejor es un dia en tus atrios que mil fuera de ellos.
    Escogeria antes estar a la puerta de la casa de mi Dios,
    Que habitar en las moradas de maldad.
    11Porque sol y escudo es Jehova Dios;
    Gracia y gloria dara Jehova.
    No quitara el bien de los que andan en integridad.
    12Jehova de los ejercitos,
    Dichoso el hombre que en ti confia.

    Estamos orando (We are praying)

  • Jenna

    well, this is also my first comment.

    1. i just linked to your blog on my blog, because i think this God-glorifying blog is more worthy of anyone’s time than my silly blatherings.

    2. i have sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed as i have read about audrey and luke and God’s grace and sovereignty in light of these tragedies.

    3. i am thrilled that you just made this blog even more interactive with a Bible study. praise GOD!!!

    4. i thank God for you because he is glorifying Himself through you in a way that speaks to my heart and draws me closer to Him.

    5. praying.

  • Jason’s Mommy

    I’m praying for you and with you.

  • Lisa

    praying…

  • Hannah

    Praying– Thank you!

  • Jaci

    Thank you for the update. I will be praying for your family as well Greg and Nicole and also for your friend. I know how it feels to have lost a baby, for me it was early pregnancy.

  • Kay

    Praying……thanks for the scripture passage…..what a word from the Lord!

  • kari

    praying

  • Lindsay
  • mindibz

    Angie,

    I have lurked on this blog for months. I find myself somewhere between thankful to have happened on such a thing and guilty and ashamed for not sharing your faithfulness when I have a seemingly struggle free existence compared to you, your sister in law, and the many others you urge prayer for. I write to let you know that your words minister to not only the physically brokenhearted—those who have buried their babies far too soon, but also to those like me, who have no tragic story but are realizing we may be spiritually brokenhearted—neglecting prayer, scripture, not feeling or sharing the joy that’s around me, not acknowledging God’s presence and power as I should. And it’s not only your written words (which are just beautiful to be sure), but the other things they have led me to—listening to a Selah song that filled me with joy (how could it be that I have not heard them sing “You Raise Me Up” before??), finding a Bible tool that’s wonderfully helpful, and resuming a prayer life I’ve let go dormant for far too long. In a day and age when the Internet is used to promulgate identity theft, pornography, adultery, and other sin, I find it just wonderful that it is also used to minister to the physically and spiritually brokenhearted and share the Good News. May you continue to bless us and be blessed richly in return~

  • A Mothers Heart for China

    Praying…

  • Amy

    Also praying. My heart weeps for all who are walking through such sadness, but I hold on to God’s promises that all will work for His glory and the good of those who love Him.

  • Allison Family

    praying and will continue praying…

  • Heather

    Praying.

    For you, Nicol and Greg, and for a miracle for the sweet woman who appears to have lost her baby.

    Love to you sweet Angie.

  • Shannon Morrison

    love Psalm 84. have you done the Beth Moore study on the tabernacle? If you do you will never read Psalm 84 in the same way again! if you haven’t, email me and I’ll scan the notes for you!

    Praying for you all.

  • Ida

    praying!

  • Andrea

    praying

  • Jill

    Angie,

    Thanks for teaching us how to use the online commentary tools. What a great resource.

    Praying for Greg and Nicol… when I came to check your blog, I happened to be listening to Nicol sing “O the Deep Deep Love of Jesus” – I pray for you and Todd, and Nicol and Greg whenever I hear their songs… which is quite often… a beautiful reminder to pray!

    Praying, praying…
    ~Jill

  • lukabella

    Praying, Praying, Praying, my friend.

  • Kelli :)

    praying.

  • Lesley

    Praying!!!

  • Lissette

    How touching it was to hear Nicol singing holding baby Luke. Thanks for sharing.

  • Beth Brown

    Praying over and over with exact understanding of your pain. Remember you are loved.

  • scrap&cruznaholic

    My heart is breaking, watching Nicol sing while holding Sweet baby Luke. Just to think that she had no idea what that she would have to say good-bye to precious Luke in a few short weeks. She has a beautiful voice, what a precious gift to sing for Audrey. Love you…Rose in Nashville.

    I’m sorry I had already posted, but just couldn’t help saying something. May our God of grace and peace be with you all as you try to heal from your losses.

  • MiMi

    praying…

  • Cole

    praying…

  • Crystal

    I’m praying Angie. Thank you for the beautiful post.

  • Allmykids123

    praying….

  • Christy

    Praying, for everyone.

  • Darlene R.

    praying…with love

  • Aubrey

    I read your blog from start to finish a few weeks ago and the next day I found out that my grandma died. Seeing you lay out your grief has encouraged me to journal, and seeing your faithfulness through all the pain has helped me to follow Jesus too. Thank you so much for allowing the Lord to use you in such a mighty way.

    Praying.

  • Josh, Daniella & Charlie Summers

    PRAYING….

    84:11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

  • Nicole

    praying…

  • Karah

    I just happened to stumble across your blog and I think you are an amazing woman. I just had a friend who lost her baby at 40 weeks, it has been so devasting. You are such an inspiration. I love reading your blog, you truly let the light of God shine through you and I think thats a wonderful thing. You and your friends are in my prayers.

  • linda

    praying

  • HOPE FLOATS

    PRAYING….

  • Asher’sMummy

    Praying.

  • Deb

    Dear Angie, I’ve been following this blog since i learned of your beautiful little girl that was called to be with Jesus. Little did I know that I was learning an important lesson through your pain and openness of your heart. You so generously share your rawest, honest feelings and hearts cries and I so often am moved to tears when I read along. These tears are what is keeping me pliable as clay as the Lord is molding me into the woman of God He intends for me to be.
    The reason I say I was learning lessons from your words is that as I type this comment, I am technically “pregnant” as far as labwork goes, but will not be for much longer. I announced my pregnancy to my family & my pastor, who is also my sister-in-law’s father, asked me if I would share my news with the church. So, Sunday night, I shared a testimony of what the Lord was doing in my life and how I am trusting God’s plan. I was joyful and hopeful and full of anticipation. Well, that same night I noticed some spotting. The next day it was still there. By Monday afternoon I drove myself to urgent care since my husband is out of town for his job. I didnt want to worry my family just yet. I had some friends praying for me. I was deep in prayer and was begging God for a miracle. I was sent to get an ultrasound and the tech wouldnt let me see and refused to tell me anything until the Dr did. The Dr said the sac was in the uterus so to take it easy and do blood levels for HCG every two days this week. Today, Wednesday, I woke up to find a little blood and immediately called the Dr, as I prayed to God to help this little baby hold on. My mom came over and took me in. The Dr was less than encouraging and/or sympathetic. She did another internal u/s and said, “nothing, nothing, see here’s your uterus, nothing, and here are your ovaries, they’re fine…but nothing in there.” She went on to tell me to get blood draw again today to compare from Monday’s levels to see if it’s growing somewhere else like in the tubes. She said she’d be back to via phone when she had results. I came home & cried and cried, asking the Lord to make it all better. My mom held me & prayed for a miracle with me.
    The Dr called a little while ago & said the HCG went up only marginally, almost a plataeu. If it goes down when I test on Friday, it’s ok and miscarriage is imminent. If it goes up, they need to check further to see where it’s developing so they can go and remove it since it will not likely miscarry on its own.
    My wonderful sister is here with me praying, consoling me, and encouraging me, letting me cry, and crying w/me since she’s had 3 miscarriages of her own. She does not hesitate to remind me that we have a wonderful Lord who can do all things. He is the life giver and life sustainer. I sit here in tears, holding onto the hope of the Lord. I know that faith is believing things unseen yet hoped for & I sure hoped for this little one. I also pray that God prepares me for whatever may come our way and that I accept His will and trust that He has my best interest at heart and will sustain me during this time.
    Your words coming from such a place of pain and hurt, yet showing such immense faith and hope, have been a beautiful example of what God does in the hearts of His people. You are doing a beautiful thing by being obedient to the Holy Spirit and sharing your heart with perfect strangers. In God’s family we are just that, “family.” I know I will see you one day, here on earth or in our Heavenly home where our children will run and play and our hearts will never hurt again.
    I noticed today you are praying for someone who received a negative report. I ask that you pray along with me that if it’s in the Lord’s will to bring this little life to be, that the Dr’s reports be wrong and that I receive something affirming life in me. I will not quit loving God or serving Him, I just wish I could feel His arms a little closer around me today. I know God is near those who are broken hearted and you have felt Hiim near you many times. I read today about when the Israelites received word that there were “giants” in the Promised Land. I pray that I not become discouraged by my news of “giants in the land,” but that I focus on the promises of God that I am His child and I am chosen and loved by Him and that I will go forth onto the Promised Land of motherhood, either with this pregnancy or one to come.
    thank you, I didn’t know this would be quite so long, but I pray that if there are others with similar situations, please continue serving God faithfully and His plan will unfold. He never leaves us or forsakes us. Thank you, Angie, for this ministry you have, sharing and teaching others to prepare their hearts for things that may come our way, and learning to see God’s hand upon our lives even when the situation seems bleak. I trust God and believe He is still the same God before this happened and will be the same, even more personal God to me during and after. All praise & glory be to God.

  • Jennifer

    praying

  • The Wray Family

    praying

  • Jen

    Praying for all of you.

  • Anitra

    Praying!!

  • Julie

    praying!

  • Susan

    As I always am after reading your posts, I am sitting here feeling paralyzed and awestruck. I can’t think of a better way to describe what flows over me as I read and take in what you write. I just feel “filled” and amazed by our Heavenly Father, who in spite of our hurts, shows us He cares…even through someone I have never met!
    I am definitely and “still” praying for Nicol and Greg and their little daughter. This must be so confusing for her. My heart just breaks for them. The reality of how life can change in an instant has been made very clear to me and I cherish Steven Curtis Chapman’s song, “Cinderella”…the words he wrote are so prophetic.
    Each day I value my children more…not taking the little things for granted.
    Thank you, Angie, for continuing to minister to us. Thank you for giving.

    Still praying….

    Sue

  • *j-u-l-e-s*

    nicol is blessed to have you walking through this with her.

  • Megan

    I’ve not been the most religious of women over the past 10 years or so. In April, I gave birth to my first child.

    I’m praying.

  • Susan

    Deb,

    I don’t know if you will see this as I don’t know if you read the replies left by others, but I wanted you to know that I am joining you in prayer. I will be looking to see if you post your results.
    I would like to encourage the rest of you to read Deb’s LONG reply and join together in prayer for her and her baby.

    (((Big Hugs, Deb)))

    Sue

  • Strawberry Blonde

    Angie,
    There are hundreds of comments here to let you know that we are praying for your family still. We are. I often think of you and your family and pray when I do.

    I understand Greg and Nicol’s hesitation about going home. Have you heard about the morning radio dj Rick Burgess? He lost his son a few months ago in a drowning accident in the pool at their home. The family had an incredibly hard time going home. They stayed away for almost two months. His wife, Sheri, was told to reclaim their home for God. They did. They came home and decided to have two of their children baptized in the family pool. My friend was there and said that it was such a blessing to be there. He said that all eyes were wet as they watched such an amazing event happen where tragedy took place. They reclaimed their home.

    Sheri still has days when the pain is too much to bear, but they feel a peace about being in their home. This is the first thing I thought of when I read your post. It may not be God’s will for them to stay in their home. I will pray for strength and discernment for them.

    – Brandi

  • Jenny Ferrari

    Praying for you all!

  • Our Family

    praying…

  • BKHooyer

    praying…

  • Teresa

    Praying!

    T. Kelly
    Kirksville, MO

  • Ali K

    praying for Nichol, Greg & Summer

    praying for your friend A.F.

    praying for you, Todd, Ellie, Abby, Kate

    praying for Audrey & Luke

  • scrappiemom

    I have never responded to your blog but I feel compelled to do so now. I have never lost a sweet child, but my mother just passed away this week. The Spirit is very near and tender right now. Sorrow tends to humble us so that we are more suseptible to the whisperings of the Spirit. I do have a couple of scripture references for you. In them is great comfort. They are Mosiah 3:16 and Moroni 8:8. My prayers are with you and your families.

  • tickledpink

    I will continue to pray for Greg and Nicol, and for you and your family.

  • Deb

    Sue,
    Thank you for your prayers. I am humbled that you would take my burden to the Lord in prayer with me.
    Thank you,
    Love in Christ
    Deb

  • Julie H. Schaal

    The pastor who married my husband and I in SoCal taught on this passage and the Valley of Baca and I have always remembered it. Praying…

  • MBKimmy

    praying

  • Katie

    praying

  • Vera

    Praying!

  • Cindy

    Angie,
    Praying and praying again!!!
    Cindy ~ Phoenix

  • a woman found

    PRAYING!!!

  • Leigh Ann Osteen

    Praying!

  • Jen

    I am constantly, and perhaps a bit foolishly, amazed at the way our God works. I have been thinking of Nicol and Greg the last few days with a vengance, and strongly feeling the Lord’s prompting to pray,which I have, and I came on today planning to ask how they were.

    I will pray this for them. Specifically that they can rest in comfort the part that says better is one day in your house than thousands elsewhere. That part must be so hard as they miss Luke so greatly! But, as the commentary I read says about the Valley of Baca… “so the grace of God, by the exercises of His worship, refreshes and revives the hearts of His people, so that for sorrows they have ‘rivers of delight’”

    Though it is painful, I am glad (for want of a better word) that they have you to walk this road with them, and neither of you are alone.

    Angie, you and Nicol are close to my hearts, and I weep and pray for you often. I will continue.

  • Amy

    Praying…praying, praying, praying.

  • Colleen

    Angie,
    Again, I am awed. By our Lord. By the video. By your willingness to share your walk and bless us and teach us.
    Praying for you all.

  • Mab

    praying…..

  • Courtney

    praying…

  • joy

    praying

  • queenoftheclick

    I’m with you on Psalm 84.

    Praying for a miracle for your friend.

    Praying for Greg & Nicol – together and with God, their life will get better.

  • Marie

    Praying for you and your family and for Luke’s family and for your friend. In your grief, you are such a witness to me.

  • Whitney

    praying

  • Georgia’s blog

    I am praying…

  • mathistown

    I am praying for all of you, in my heart and with my mouth. May the Lord bless this sweet family..

  • cbrown923

    praying

  • Lisa

    Praying continually, I find it a privilege to pray for you and Nicol and Greg! I have a friend that I would love for you and Nicol to be in contact with. She too lost her daughter tragically and then her husband was in a tragic swimming accident that left him paralyzed. She is an amazing woman that may be able to give you both some encouraging moments in these valleys. Let me know if you would be interested even to check out her blog too. They also live in Michigan about 25 min away from me. Looking forward to more updates!

    Oh and I love the dirty diaper story, so funny, my how I wish we could always get through an adult conversation!!! And I am sorry that so many kept gleaming at you~
    Continually praying for you~
    Love your Sister-in-Christ, and Friend from Michigan,
    Lisa

    PS~ praying and fasting for your friend please keep us updated as much as you are able to.

  • Vera

    Just wanted to add that I added Psalm 84 to my blog today – that is my way of “taping it up” right now.

    I also wanted to say that I am thankful that you posted that powerful video of Nicol – it is the image I will hold in my eyes and heart when I pray for them.

  • Pam

    Praying for all of you, including your friend who is waiting for a miracle.

    Thanks so much for this study. I plan to use it in my Quiet Time in the morning.

  • Jill

    Dearest Angie,

    What a beautiful post and such an honor to call you friend and Sister! Our family will continue to lift you and your family in prayer – I love this Psalm as well!

    Thank you sweet Jesus for bringing us peace in the storm – joy in the morning and love that endures forever!
    Jill

  • Gina

    nwPraying

  • Gina Dayton

    praying..

  • Aileen

    Praying for Greg and Nicol, and also for you and Todd and your girls. I can’t imagine the pain you all must feel. I wish I could take some of it away for you.

    I know I’m new to prayer, so hopefully I do it “right.” Thanks for all the help with the Crosswalk site.

    I read the Psalm throughout the day today, and will do so again tonight before bed.

    May peace be with you.
    Aileen

  • paperglueetc

    computer challenged that’s me, I couldn’t figure out how to do what you suggested so I just stgarted “searching” and I got the following…

    1.How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!
    2.My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
    3.Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young– a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
    4.Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. “Selah”
    5.Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
    6.As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
    7.They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
    8.Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob. “Selah”
    9.Look upon our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one.
    10.Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
    11.For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
    12.O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

    notice 4 and 8 more then once when praying for both families and babies I find a “Selah” reference…

    if the house next door goes up for sale don’t be surprised….ha

  • Michelle Bentham

    Praying.

    Angie,

    Can I say that I am three years into grieving, and though I know that you long to skip the hardest parts – the hardest parts are where I found God most faithful. Those horrible tapes playing of my son dying took me to the cross, the place where my Savior died and enabled me to cry out to God and say, “You, Lord, You paid the higher price.”

    Eventually, God has taken the sorrow of those memories and allowed them to fade both in frequency and intensity. We moved from our home (though my son did not die there) in the first year after losing him. I think nearly nine months later. It was too painful to even recount to you what it was like to surrender his room and his things in those days. I thought I was ready, but it really left me angry, in pieces and clinging to anything and everything for help and hope.

    We have walked with a family whose two year old died in her sleep at home. They never returned to live there – though they did go back to clean it up before they sold it nearly a year after the death of their baby girl.

    It was agony for them – giving up the home they shared with her, but not wanting to go back to the place of horrific memories where she died. They had a home built and stayed with family all the months between their child’s death and their new home decision. It seems like this brought closure for them in ways that no one but they really understand.

    The most important thing I will pray is that they will focus on God, and His heavenly home for their child Luke (and your Audrey Caroline) and that He will meet them in their mourning and speak to their grief. He is so good that way. You are all so new in your grief, and having to grieve so much. I cannot even imagine where you find the composure to share so much of your journey with us. May God bless you, dear sister with much mercy, peace and grace in the days ahead. Thank you for being so raw before us. Your words ring true in every way to me. Bless You.

  • debra

    praying.

  • Kristy Tootle

    Praying……

  • Mrs. Pagett

    Praying…

  • andyeve1

    praying

  • Eric

    Praying

  • Angie

    praying
    Thank you
    Angie
    Adrian MN

  • rebecca

    praying!

  • Rachel C.

    praying…
    what a beautiful video, what a treasure with Luke in her arms.

  • Tab

    I love Amy Carmichal’s quote that says something to the like of ‘the God Who twice daily washes all the grains of sand of all the shores on all the Earth( smoothing over the beaches), is certainly Powerful enough to do the same for our minds…’ thus smoothing over with time and HIS Balm, these otherwise unspeakable pains we face.

    Praying.

  • Lisa

    You are a blessing to me.
    Thank you!

    Praying…

  • Angie

    praying

  • Latter Rain

    praying…

    Lisa in NC

  • Jacquie

    I continue to pray for both of your families… and your friend. Thank you for sharing so openly about all you’re going through. Your faith and your spirit remind me so much of a friend of mine who’s moved and I miss so much!

  • Teri

    Praying.

    The Valley of Baca…my favorite verse for years…because of the deeper meaning.

    Yes, praying.

  • Jamie D

    praying…

  • dazsdntell

    Praying!! Angie, I want to thank you for teaching me to specifically pray for the painful memories of the time when Nicol and Greg found baby Luke. My pastor’s wife found her mom a few weeks ago and was having a very hard time with the experience of finding her, the thoughtless police officer handling the situation very badly, etc. I told her about your request for that specific prayer and that I would be praying that for her. I gathered others to pray this with me for Sister Pam. Thank You, Jesus…our prayers were answered and she’s been at peace. I pray this now specifically for Nicol and Greg and Summer…Lord, hear our prayers that this family find peace in this storm, that the hard things be remembered no longer. In Jesus’ sweet name….Amen.

    (I love you guys!!! Hugs to all the kids!! :)

  • Lindsay & Joseph Dyess

    PRAYING…

  • Jennifer

    praying

  • Leilanni

    praying . . .

    Great Bible study tools – just what I needed today like you wouldn’t believe. The Lord is working mightily through you to touch hundreds+ people daily in just the way that is needed. Talk about sovereignty.

  • Kelly

    definitely praying-for all of you. thank you for your words, wisdom and encouragement. it has brought me closer in my walk with our Lord. you are amazing.

  • Marla Taviano

    Praying, praying.

    That video clip is heart-wrenching.

    I just read Psalm 84:5 at Bible study this week (Beth Moore’s Stepping Up).

    Come soon, Lord Jesus, and cut our pilgrimage short!

  • RO 2007

    Angie,
    I read your blog everyday and today I just had to write to you. Your words help me process the loss that I have been dealing with since June 2. My friend Kelly sent me the link to your site when I heard about the Sponberg’s. Greg use to attend our church in Auburn, Maine. I started reading and praying for them immediately and then read on about your loss as well. Then on June 2nd, three days after i found your blog, my dear sweet 9 year old neice, Grace died in a tragic accident. She was on a cart being pulled by a horse with her sister (Dee) and a dear friend of ours from church (Phil)and a truck hit them. Grace died instantly, Dee (7 years old) had a head injury and Phil many broken bones. My world was turned upside down, as well as our church. I met Grace and her two sisters (Dee and Sarah) in an orphanage in Romania and my friends adopted them 5 1/2 years ago. I am often not good with words but tonight you summed up what we have been feeling when you said, “There were moments where we just laughed in spite of the hurt, because our spirits grow weary of the pain.” Last night we had ice cream for dinner just because we were weary from the pain (of course we all were weary from lack of food after!). The day before the accident, Sarah (7 years old) and I were talking about Maria Chapman’s death and how Sarah really related to them b/c she was adopted with two sisters. Sarah was really touched by the story and said she would pray for Maria’s sister b/c they must be really sad. Our conversation that day is much more detailed but to keep it short God really used Sarah’s heart that day to prepare what was going to happen the next day to her own sister. Sometimes it is hard to see and understand what God is doing but I know we have to trust. I want to thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
    Sarah

  • Shannon

    Praying for you all. I love Psalm 84 too, especially Psalm 84:11.

  • Rose

    Praying.

  • amy

    praying.

  • Traci

    Praying.

    Much love to you and yours.

  • Mike and Rhonda

    Praying

  • Nancy

    I am praying. I have Psalms 84 hanging on my mirror.

    Thank you also for sharing crosswalk.com

  • boutcrazy

    praying

  • OP SuZ Q

    praying……..

  • christi28

    praying!

  • Amanda Rooney

    PRAYING…without ceasing. I am reminded DAILY of you, Nicol, and the Mary Beth. I know when I hear a song from Selah or SCC that it is another way the Holy Spirit prompts me to remember…and in my rememberance to pray. Thank you for your specific requests. And as so many others have stated, using this blog to bring people to spend time in the Word of God is ANOTHER way your precious Audrey is reaching the hearts of so many. I know she makes you a very proud momma!!! To God be the Glory.

  • Monica

    praying…

  • mnmcrum

    Angie,
    I lost my brother due to SIDS when I was 2 1/2. He was nine days old. I remember what I was dreaming that night, but don’t remember anything else. I am so thankful for the Lord’s graciousness in our memories.
    Over the years, I have longed for my brother, even though I only knew him for a short time.
    When I miscarried last month, my children asked if my brother would be taking care of this little one now. I love how small children can think so deeply.
    Before my brother’s death, my mother had already scheduled for her tubes to be tied, however, had he been with us any longer, I would not have my three sisters, or five nieces and nephews. The Lord knows what He has in store for us, even before we know what to ask.
    The image of our children being in constant presence of the Lord comforts our hearts and I thank you so much for helping me to remember that instead of the bad memories.
    I am praying for Nicol and Greg and weeping for them as I see little Luke’s hand caressing his mommy in the video.
    I pray for this chapter in their lives..it is not a new story, just now a different story.
    Love,
    Michelle

  • Heather

    Praying. For them, and for you.

  • Misty

    Angie, I’m a long time reader/lurker, first time commenter. You can visit my blog to read how your blog has been drawing me closer to God (and how THIS Psalm was partial to my journey). http://ericandmistynewsome.blogspot.com/
    Thank you for your honesty! I’m praying.

  • Jill

    praying

  • Honea Household

    praying.

  • UKNat

    Praying…

  • Marcy

    Thanks for sharing the video. I’m praying for your family.

  • mnmcrum

    Angie,
    I lost my brother when I was 2 1/2years old due to SIDS. He was nine days old. I only remember what I was dreaming that night, but no other details.
    Over the years, I have longed for my brother. Before my brother’s death, my mother had already scheduled for her tubes to be tied, however, had he been with us any longer, I would not have my three sisters, or five nieces and nephews. The Lord knows what He has in store for us, even before we know what to ask.
    When I miscarried last month, I was discussing the situation with my small children and they asked if my brother was now taking care of their baby. I love how children help us see things in ways we don’t even consider!
    Thank you for helping me to remember where our children are..that they are in the glorious presence of the One who loves them even more than we could. As hard as that is to imagine, it’s true. I will keep trying to remember that image.
    I am praying for and weeping with Nicol and Greg as I watch little Luke’s hand caress his mommy in the video.
    I pray for the next chapter in their life’s story. It’s not a new story, just a different one now. I pray the Lord will give them peace and assurance and He will fill them with His presence.

    Thank you, Dear Angie for sharing with us!
    Michelle

  • southernjoy

    PRAYING!

  • Elizabeth

    Praying

  • The Evans Family

    Praying

  • Christine

    Praying for them…
    Praying for you…
    …will continue…
    Sending Christian love your way,
    Christine

  • Andrea

    praying to the father

  • Jamie

    Thanks for sharing more of your heart! Praying. . .

  • MamaBear

    Praying this beautiful psalm for all of you …

  • Kelsey

    Thank you for your study tips. Praying!

  • Raelyn

    praying!

  • Matt and Cristin

    I am praying.

  • Katie

    I sent a prayer request to my local radio station and I am sure they will announce it.

    So the rest of Houston Texas will be praying.

  • Linda

    praying

  • judith

    I am challenged by to words to study His word more. I am praying for you all.

  • Bickers Family

    Of course, you made me cry again! I am forever praying for you and your family. Thank you for the update on Nicol and Greg. They will be in my prayers as well. God Bless…

  • brightwells

    praying….and praying….

  • Gene and Annie

    I love that Psalm….it’s always been one of my favorites! Please tell them I am praying!

  • Kari

    praying

  • Angela

    praying for you Nicol and Greg. The video is very special. I couldn’t help but cry.

  • Julie

    praying with tears in my eyes….

  • My Three Sons

    Praying…I also needed this Psalm. Thank you.

  • mportteus5

    Praying….

  • Jennifer

    Praying…

  • Amy

    Continuing in prayer.

  • chrismhens

    praying

  • Terri

    praying

  • Trena

    Praying.

  • Tiffany

    Continuing in prayer….

  • Denae

    praying

  • Meag

    Praying.

  • Stevenson gang

    Praying . . . and crying . . . an rejoicing

  • Sara

    praying

  • LOVE YOU A GOOGLE…

    praying through my tears.

  • Kelly

    Praying, always.

  • Alicia

    Praying… still.

  • stina_bug

    praying! Thank you for seeking God’s face. Your unfabricated joy for The Lord is contagious and refreshing. Keep seeking Him! :)

  • sigjul

    Praying…

  • Misty Rice

    First thank you for your prayers in my situation. Its nice to know that when I am tired and feel I just can’t find the words to speak and pray to God… that there is others that care enough to pray for me.

    I wanted to ask about Greg and Nichol, for I thought you said they were having test done on Luke and wanted to know the results.

    I only ask out of curiosity because I have a 10 week old little girl and I just can’t wrap my brain around the facts of SIDS. It scares me. I want to know if there was anything that may have occurred that I can do differently. Or was it medically even?

    I swaddle my little girl and she sleeps swaddled all night on her back. I often wake just to check on her breathing.

    I think about their pain often and I am much like you where I allow things to play over and over in my head and although I was not there that night, I feel like I have experienced part of this with all of you. I imagine how it went that night and it plays over and over again in my head.

    The home question and where to live… I don’t blame them. Gosh it would be so painful to go back into that home or his little room. I am so deeply praying that GOD helps put peace in their hearts on that matter.

    Nichol’s voice – BEAUTIFUL!!!

    Seeing that little boy in her arms…. my heart hurts so much.

    Seeing baby Audrey every time I open your blog… I kiss her face on my screen (literately). I don’t know why it is something I always do when a child or animal has died, I have to kiss their little face in any picture I see.

    There is a song by Kim Hill “I will carry you, my child, my child”. He is carrying you all tonight.

    God Bless

  • Kathy

    *praying*

  • Blair

    praying

  • Kathi

    I am praying.
    Thank you for being brave enough to share, Angie.

  • tn-girl-n-ms

    Praying….

    Jennifer in Mississippi

  • amydc

    praying, praying, praying.
    Angie- you are such a rock.

  • Shelby

    praying

  • mom22girls

    praying

  • mlpinky

    This is my first time commenting…

    Praying…

    Praying for your hurts…

    Praying for the hurts all around the world that they would cling to the one who heals all hurts.

    Love ~mer
    someone who also hurts.

  • Emily

    Praying.

  • Deb

    I’m was a twin..we were 5 weeks premature and in 1967 that was really bad. We spent those 5 weeks in the hospital and came home. 4 months and 9 days later my parents woke up to find that my twin brother had passed away in the night. They still hurt from it and now as a parent I hurt for them. I have told my mom and daddy (a preacher) about your blog and all that has happened to your family (yours and extended) and we will all be praying. Just know that a big hug comes with this comment for you and yours and for Nicol, Greg and sweet Summer too.

  • Melissa

    Praying….with many more to follow!

  • imgladyouasked

    praying

  • Kyra

    My small group and I will be praying!

  • blessedwith5

    Praying

  • Nicole

    Praying.

  • Jess

    praying!

  • Jonah

    This is also my first comment – Angie, your family’s story has touched me deeply. I haven’t thought much about God since having two miscarriages nearly two years ago. Your blog and the way you write have me thinking and praying again. I am so sorry for your loss and for your family’s loss. Maybe it isn’t much solace, but your pain has brought another person back from the edge. I do feel that God is working here – and I am praying again for your family.

  • Heath and Karen Orr

    Praying…

  • Theresa

    Praying

  • Skerry

    Thank you for the update on Nicol & Greg, so glad to hear that your families enjoyed special time with each other. Continuing to keep both of your families in my thoughts and prayers. I will read the Psalm (slowly) and pray.

  • mom 2 many

    Praying.

    Thank you for the update

  • cherryt7

    praying… may the God who makes sense of the most confusing puzzles in life be a source of peace and understanding for you…

  • The Anderson

    I, too, am praying for your family. I’ll never forget the days of laying in bed and replaying the memories over and over of the night we found our daughter had died unexpectedly a month before her due date. It was a horrible nightmare that I wished I could wake from. I layed in bed many a night and cried until I didn’t think I could cry anymore. I remember saying aloud that I wish I could just erase my memory. God gave me incredible strength during this time and I know it was only because of prayer and the support from my friends and family.

    When I first read your story, I thought of the difference between your story and mine. I was almost jealous of the beautiful time that you got to spend with Audrey because you knew what was to come. Not that it made it any easier, but I wish I had been able to cherish some of the good memories of that horrible night instead of holding on to the bad. I have realized that your nightmarish moment was there, it just came at a different time.

    I am praying for Greg and Nicol that they will be granted the strength that was provided to me and to you in our similar times of struggle. Your stories have been an inspiration to me.

    Love,
    Stephanie

  • Mommy

    we are praying for nicole and greg thank you for the update, and also praying for your dear friend and her sweet angel baby, we are praying for that miracle.

    tiffany in nashville

  • Raechel

    praying.

  • The Hustead Family

    PRAYING!!!

  • Adrienne

    praying

  • Lisa

    Praying.

  • Lynn

    That video broke my heart…Praying hard at this end!
    Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

  • Michelle ~ ~

    Angie, sweet sister in Christ, I have been out of the states for 3 weeks and was catching up. I am so sorry about those ficticious posters and am stunned. May Gods ways and will woo them to Himself. Thank you for blogging and updating … I have been in slow powerful prayer for 3 weeks. P R A Y I N G!! and encouraging all of us to walk and draw ever closer to God. A “seeker” friend of mine, young woman (I am her mentor) has come to know and love Jesus through YOU and yours … may God have the glory.

  • Robin

    praying.

  • Jenny

    praying

  • Aunt Rhody

    Blessed Lord God, give your favor as a shield, your comfort as a shield, yourself as a sun and shield. Thank you for your healing. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning, for your unfailing faithfulness to these families who love You. Thank you for turning their tears into springs of living water full of joy. Amen, and Amen.

  • Catherine

    Thank you for sharing the video with us of Nicol singing. What a very private, personal heartfelt moment. And it is such a beautiful background as though she is holding him in Heaven and singing to Luke now as well as little Audrey.
    I will pray for Nicol and Greg and for your family as well.
    My daughter’s favorite song is, Better is one Day in your Courts.

    I love the Psalm you chose.
    God Bless and keep you at peace,
    Catherine

  • McCray’s

    Praying…as my soul aches so deeply for you all.

  • txmomx6

    praying

  • Sarah

    praying.

    Sarah Jones

  • Stacey

    Thank you for this post. The verses had a very special meaning to me. I wrote a post about it.

    Please pray for me and my family! We leave on Friday to get our baby girl in Vietnam!

  • James2vs17

    praying

    Larry Wilson (from the Tyler concerts if Todd remembers the one-armed guy)

  • Elaine

    Praying

  • Denise

    My heart breaks for your family. After the loss of our Matthew to SIDS, it took nearly 2 weeks to be able to enter our home without weeping uncontrollably. A few days longer and we were able to go home and sleep. While it was hard, it was good. We ended up having to move a couple of months later and I regret it. I miss going into his room. I miss touching his crib, I miss smelling his changing table or touching his clothes hanging in the closet. For Kaitlyn, our three year old, it has been hard. She misses her brother so much and has so many good memories of him, but she also has envy for her cousin who has become a big sister to a baby brother. It’s hard, it’s hard to know if you are doing the right thing. I am praying.

  • Jennie Bender

    Dearest Angie,
    I stopped by to pray for you today, again. I am sorry for your great losses. I know the Lord will see you through. He has helped me. My daughter died two years ago, on the sixth of this month. These are the thoughts I penned after she died due to trisomy 18. God has been good, and he still is good to me every day. I am glad he gave us our Elaine, even for the moment we had her. I do not know what God is doing in my life, “but my heart has trusted in him and I am helped.” He is all we have needed. He has been good. I know he will help you. His grace is ever sufficient.

    We have since had a new baby, her name is Darcy Ellynn–it means–”out of the darkness is light”–that God has been good and he has brought us through. We will never forget Elaine, nor the long days awaiting her death, and we will be ever mindful that God brought us through a terrible storm, and we are safe. God came.

    Love, tears, and prayers,
    Jennie Bender
    865-938-8070

    So where do you begin to tell a tale so poignant? Where does grief end and the light shine in the eyes again? Where do tears cease and joys revive?

    How does a little child of a mere frail pound conquer two hearts and compel them to love her fiercely? How does eleven inches span the distance of miles and miles and leave a trail of tiny footprints indelible on the hearts of hundreds? I do not know.

    I should love to see her. I should love it very much, dear Lord. If I could have that moment again, I would offer every possession. Truly, I would. God doesn’t give us our days over and over again. They come and go. Each fleeting, some forgotten, others held in the heart and mind as the dearest childhood Christmas.

    So many days pass slowly by us now. They are full of tears, questions, grief, and always sadness mingled with joy. The hours pass, the clock ticks on, once awaiting a tiny cry, now its only consolation is we move closer to eternity.

    Questions:
    I do not know how time is spent in Heaven. I should like to think that she will know what manner of great love we have given to her. It is nothing to compare to your great love, I know. I should shrink back in great shame if I were to see your love for her it were alongside mine.

    I should like to think she would smile if she were to see my and her father’s love for her.

    We, left here with broken hearts, wonder if our tiny loves, now gone, could simply know the shadows of our days where we have lived, the grief we have felt for little hands and feet that never will be touched on earth again. I should not wish for her to know sorrow. The sweet consolation of heaven’s children is that they will know no pain, or sorrow as we have known. That is a smile we can wear through our tears. That is a smile that will wash away the pain of empty arms. Thank you, Lord, for Heaven.

    What hath God wrought? Where are the answers? When shall the night be over? Where doth beauty reside? I have been taught from my mother’s knee, the beauty resides in the heart of the one who is yielded to God. The heart of one who chides not with the course God chooses will know peace.

    Am I totally yielded to God? Will I chide? I pray not.

    From the onset of the news that our sweet unborn baby would not live to be carried over the threshold of our doors, we have said, “God is good; God is good to us.” Even after our sweet baby’s death, we still can say, “God is good; God is good to us.”, and now we add, “God is good to our Elaine.” Heaven is brighter, Heaven is sweeter, Heaven is home—because of the Lord Jesus, because we have a good God, because He is altogether lovely.

    Many lives are touched by grief. Young hand in old hands I have stood at many funeral parlors paying respects to the departed with my grandmother and my grandfather, who has long since passed on to Glory. Never would I have dreamed, that old hand in a young hand, would I stand by my grandmother and pay my respects to our sweet baby who never opened her kitten eyes to look into her mother’s adoring face.

    They say time heals all wounds. In my ignorant young wisdom, I disagree. So many tender eyed women have met me with knowing tears, others too reminded to speak again of the sorrows of their tiny infant’s death have prayerfully and painfully written words of comfort only a knowing mother could write. From the eldest in her eighties to the youngest of mothers, all still could weep in a vulnerable moment of truth.

    I believe the death of a child is a hole in the heart of a mother that can never be filled. There are bottles that will never be washed, diapers that will never be changed, scrapes that will never be kissed, dinner places that will never be set, stockings that will never be filled, sweet babblings never heard, songs never sung, books never read, first loves never found, and homecomings never traveled. I believe the Lord designed these paths to be lighted this way because a child is an eternal soul. Each tiny baby is a real person that can never be replaced. The void in our heart will always be—but not forever. Time is God’s creation for earth not heaven. The void will erased when the death’s sleep awakened to the glory of God’s heaven. When we shall say in blissful recognition, “My, Lord, and my God.” Then, He will take us to our long awaited treasure and at last our empty arms will be filled with every desire for which we have craved.

    So as you stand abreast a tiny white casket and know that she who resides within is your own, how do you begin to live again? When you know that she that pillows the plush pinks of that darkened cell was intended, to you, to look out with mischievous eyes through the white wooden slats of her crib, how do you move from room to room without a reminder of her presence, or the absence thereof?

    How do you look into the eyes of one so healthy, vibrant and strong, without being reminded of one so delicate, so quiet, and frail?

    How can you look into the face of beauty and know it shall never grow older before your eyes. As you see her in that moment of time, she will always be the same in your mind’s eye-a forever youthful tiny beauty.

    How do you smile at the onset of spring when you crave only a moment’s perfume of your sweet baby’s scent?

    How do you continue on life’s journey knowing a portion of you heart has been taken to Glory? How do you sit amongst the ashes and wonder—how will God turn these smoldering embers of my broken heart into beauty?

    I search through the embers for my broken heart– a rosy pink frail beauty with dark hair, tiny pink mischievous smile, dark coal button eyes, elegant fingers, gangly legs, and comical toes. Where is my beauty? Where can she be? When will I find her. How long, Oh, Lord, shall it be thus? How long shall my silent tears run down my face soaking my lonely pillow at night? When shall I cease to watch one play in innocent childish joy and ache for another beside her sweet frame?

    How shall I recognize the beauty of ashes? When will I know the mind of the Lord? When will I be to say, “This is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our eyes? I do not know.

    So today, I sit amongst the smoldering heap, my blackened hands each enclosed by the hands of my husband and tiny daughter. I stand to leave this blackened earth, but I long to stay for it seems my heart is buried here. My empty arms are longing for my child’s embrace. The Lord will help me stand and leave this bit of land that seems to hold my spirit captive.

    I will wash my face of its long burning tears. I know only God can wash away the sadness from my soul. He will tenderly show me the path of life. He will show me treasures forever more. He will show me the beauty of ashes. He shall lead me to this place again. I shall follow him and he shall show me the beauty of my grief, the beauty of my tears that fell and still do fall deep into the night, the beauty of a sister without a sister, the beauty of a father without a child, the beauty of a mother without her daughter.

    I shall return to this place where I once knew a blackened heap of ashes. I shall return to see a new earth of young growth. I shall smell the fragrance of spring flowers and feel a summer breeze that would excite the heart of a tiny child in a giant field of blowing grasses. I shall return to a beautiful place. I await that day.

    Jennie Bender
    June 29, 2006

    June 26, 2008

  • Elizabeth

    thank you for sharing an update on Nicol and Greg. I am praying.

  • Maitreyee

    praying

  • kara

    Praying

  • April

    praying.

  • Stacie B

    praying each and every minute of every day

  • erin

    praying.

  • Jeff & Leza

    praying….

  • Sara B.

    praying for all of you

  • Creekermom

    Praying..
    What a great scripture. Very powerful, it says it all.

    For His Glory,
    Valerie~

  • twondra

    Thanks for updating us. I’ve been thinking and praying for them so much. The video brought tears to my eyes.

  • petrii

    Angie,
    Beautiful dear one!! Praying…Praying

  • Nichole

    Crying, and praying!!!!

  • Southern Gal

    Praying.

    Thank you for being real. Thank you for sharing your faith and beckoning others to come along side you to see that the Lord is good. Thank you for leading others into a deeper walk with the Lord. Thank you for sharing life with its joy and pain.

    Some who are babies in Christ or haven’t made that step to give their lives to Him may find watching this YouTube spot a powerful thing. Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ
    It’s called Cardboard Confessions and my favorite song is playing in the background, “Oh, How He Loves Us”.
    (My favorite version of that song is also on YouTube by Jesus Culture. Give it a listen.)

    Renee

  • Corey Re’

    Praying

  • Jennifer Morgan

    praying

  • mom of many

    In His name….PRAYING

  • L

    ~praying~

  • Rosemary

    Praying.

  • Elizabeth

    Praying, and praying, and also singing one of my favorite praise songs based on these passages….

    Elizabeth
    Des Moines, IA

  • Tina Vega

    praying as well

  • Mary

    praying … NY Mary

  • Sarah

    praying, praying, praying.

  • Stephanie

    praying. blessed by the priveledge.

  • ManyBlessings

    Praying…for all of you…
    d

  • Alli

    Your blog amazes me! :) You are such a sweet and precious soul! The passage you just gave for us to read and pray about touched me in so many ways. As I was praying for Greg, Nicol and their little girl I realized that this passage touched me as well. 10 years ago my sister(27) and niece(3) were killed in a terrible traffic accident… 3 years later my brother in law commited suicide b/c the grief was too hard. Everyday I think of them and miss them terribly. The passage helped me think of what things were like for them now and gave me a peace. Also, as the anniversary of their passing is coming near- August 23 it is nice to have this to read and pray with! Thanks!!!

    You and your family are in my prayers. As well as Greg, Nicol and their precious little girl!

    Alli

  • Lauren

    Praying.

    Thank you for the update on Nicol and Greg.

    Thank you for the Bible study. I’d found myself moving further away from wanting to open God’s word and in fact had to search for my Bible this morning. Your posts uplift and encourage me.

    Thank you for all that you do.

  • Nicole

    Praying

    Thank you Angie for your servant’s heart and bringing this need before your readers. You have encouraged my aching hurting heart more then you will ever know. Yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of my precious father’s home going. I know this day that he is in the courts of the Lord praising God. What a peace that brings to my heart. I yearn even more to be in those same courts with him praising our heavenly creator. May God continue to bestow His peace upon your family as well as to Greg and Nicol.

  • Tennessee Mama Duck

    Touched by this post… and praying…

  • Tammy

    praying

  • Marc and Charity

    I can’t believe that video. Oh Jesus, be near Nicol and Greg, Angie and Todd. God I’m so confused and don’t understand these losses, we need you to come Lord Jesus, come! My heart aches and I want to scream at the top of my lungs Lord! Be near these precious families.

  • algonquinteacher

    praying

  • danse4joy

    Praying

  • Mom2anAngel&amiracle

    Her voice brought me to tears, I am praying.

  • Marty

    Praying…thanks for the great tool.

  • Eric and Michelle

    Praying…

  • Madelyn’s Mommy

    Praying.

  • Amber

    praying…

  • ocdism

    Oh my…that video totally touched my heart and inner most soul! I long for Heaven.

    Praying….

  • mindibz

    Is anyone else having trouble viewing the video? Mine says “buffering”, but never starts to play. Any tips are appreciated.

  • Robin

    praying…….learning

  • The Miller Family

    praying…

  • Mrs. Walker

    Praying…

  • Neil & Kelly

    praying.

  • Tami Muhlbauer

    Praying!!!

  • LC

    Angie
    You are such a blessing to my life
    praying…

  • Beth

    Praying …

  • Penny

    Praying, praising, and crying for the pain……….

  • Michelle Morgan

    Praying….
    God bless you, Angie! You are such an inspiration to me! I’m the one (probably of sooo many) who has emailed you saying I’m just not a “leave comments kind of person”, but more of a “direct email” kind of girl. This post made me set up an account so I can tell you right here, right now hom much appreciate your willingness to open your heart with all of us so that we might draw closer to Him and see Him in a deeper, more renewed way – thank you for this gift!!!!

  • candesintx

    I am praying.

  • Tippa Glover

    Praying…

  • Dayna

    Praying.

    I wish we were friends in real life. :)

  • Lori Heinrich

    continuing to pray….for Nicol, for Sara, for you and for all your families.

  • PiesBonitos

    Wow, what an incredible passage. I have read it before, but have always skipped over the Baca referance. I am so blessed and thankful that you pointed it out to me.

    I am going to be praying this for Nicol and Greg, you and Todd, as well as remembering this for my sweet Mother (who isn’t even 50 and has a termincal cancer).

  • Cristi

    Well this is comment #459 – So seriously I dont expect you to get to it. But I wanted to thank you for your encouragement to read that Psalm. WOW! I did read it slowly and God showed me bunches. Thanks so much.

  • Marcie

    Praying in Tucson, AZ.

  • Valerie

    Praying

  • csims1975

    praying

  • Hopesrising

    Came back today just to read and watched the video. Brought tears to my ears such a beautiful voice.
    Covering your family in prayer.
    Kerry

  • Indy-Lindy

    praying and believing….

  • karen44

    v7: they go from strength to strength…

    praying for strength and comfort for you all.
    -karen l.

  • Shannon

    Praying

  • Dana D

    Praying for peace

  • Mellissa

    praying

  • Wendy Bradstreet

    Angie, will continue to pray for Nicol, Greg and Summer as well as for you and your family. Not sure if it will help or not, but we had to ask ourselves that same question when our daughter Megan died(she was struck at the end of our driveway). The thought of having to enter and leave the driveway every day was extremely painful. But God has a way of healing your heart so that the excrutiating pain you feel is somehow softened over time. It’s coming up on 3 years in July since Megan was killed, and even though we still feel pain and sadness over not having her here, He has somehow allowed us to see only the good memories we have of her and the joy we had with her for 5 years. God will certainly show them where He wants them to be, all they have to do is ask:)

    PS Love the site!

  • GuessChoir

    Ugh. That video clip just made my stomach jump into my throat. Praying, and praying and praying.

  • BB

    Still praying . . .

  • BB

    Still praying . . .

  • Kim W

    Praying…

  • Tia

    i have been doing the Beth Moore study on David and am almost to the end. This morning’s was powerful, especially in light of all these precious children being called to the Father. The text is 2 Sam 24:16 When the angel stretched out his hand to destroy Jerusalem, the LORD was grieved because of the calamity and said to the angel who was afflicting the people, “Enough! Withdraw your hand.” The angel of the LORD was then at the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.

    The Hebrew word for grieved in this verse means “to beathe deeply as in sorrow” It’s the same word used earlier when David’s son dies. It’s the sorrow of losing an infant. And God has felt it! The lesson ended with a powerful statement. “Even when we don’t undertand why, we can understand WHO” Our glorious Daddy who loves us relentlessly and profoundly.

  • Monika

    praying…

  • angela

    praying….

    Angela in Florida

  • kelly

    praying….

  • shan

    praying…

  • The Rowe Family

    praying!

  • Sheryl

    through the tears streaming down my face…praying!

  • Becca Sports

    Earnestly praying!

  • Becca Sports

    Earnestly praying for both of your families.

  • Christi

    praying

  • Tiffany

    Praying

  • Jennifer

    Sweet Angie,
    I don’t know what to say. I lost my baby during pregnancy at 19 weeks (Mother’s Day weekend). We have since found out that we had a girl. She had Turner Syndrome, where she only had 1 X chromosome instead of the usual 2. But another online friend posted a link to your youtube slideshow of Audrey’s birthday. The one who posted it didn’t say anything about what happened. I had to know why you were all smiling so. I noticed the Crosspoint videos in the links next to the slideshow, so I watched each part. You and your husband are truly amazing. I know you probably don’t think so, but you are. In the video, your blog was mentioned, so I searched for it. I’ve read the whole thing. Unfortunately I’ve been reading it at work and crying, but fortunately my desk is hidden so no one has seen me crying…yet! But the way you write…as others have said. It speaks volumes. You are so real. You have such faith, but still scream and curl up in sadness and grief. I’m still there. (trying not to cry now) So many emotions you wrote about, I know all too well where you were. Each day has gotten a little easier, but I definitely have my moments! I saw a story about Stephen Curtis Chapman and his loss, and a woman commented with the following poem…

    When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
    We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love.
    Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold,
    So He picks a rosebud before it can grow old.
    God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few
    To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
    Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try,
    The saddest word mankind knows will always be “Goodbye.”
    So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
    Must realize God loves children,
    Angels are hard to find.”

    I have it hanging at my desk just above my computer.

    I will continue to pray for you and yours, as well as Greg, Nicol and Summer.

    I also have an almost-4 year old daughter. She’s doing well with losing her little sister. But she has started telling me sad stories of people who have died (not real people) and yesterday she asked me when we’re going to heaven. She knows her baby sister is in heaven. I wonder what goes on in her mind and pray that she really is ok. It’s hard to know sometimes.

    Love and prayers to you and yours!

    P.S. I LOVE the song Glory Baby now.

  • bsjones7

    Praying

  • bsjones7

    praying.

  • Jill

    praying…

  • Eric & Emily

    Praying!

  • Wade’s World

    Praying…

  • The Rowe Family

    praying

  • Holly

    Count on me for praying that chapter over them and over you (as well as your friend).

    I couldn’t get the video to play. Perhaps later it will work. Everytime I hear Nicol or Todd on my mp3, I pray for each of you.

    Love,
    holly

  • The Saras Family

    praying

  • Fuller Family

    praying!

  • Cupcake

    Praying

  • Timeless and Treasured, Photography by Heather

    praying for you daily

  • Carrie

    praying

  • The Rowe Family

    Angie, I just rec’d a copy of “The Jesus Storybook Bible” that you recommended! I can’t wait to dive in with my kids! I am praying! I’m going on a trip tomorrow and I printed out the psalm and the information on Baca and will pray during my travels! I am touched everyday by your writing and you are doing amazing things! 500 comments today! WOW!

  • Sister In Christ in Fort Smith

    praying………

  • Amy

    praying ~

    ~Amy7634

  • Aaron and Amanda

    praying

  • Kelly

    praying…

  • Jess

    I’m continuing to pray for you, Todd and the girls, as well as Greg, Nicol, Summer and your friend! May the Lord continue to bless you! :)

  • Worshipping One

    PRAYING AND BELIEVING!!!

  • Shannon

    I am grateful for your blog and how it has touched my heart. I am amazed at how God works, Just this morning we have decided this verse to be the verse for our ladies retreat. Doesn’t it really put our faith into perspective?…seeking things from above and bringing to remembrance that this world will soon fade away. Looking unto Heaven and rejoicing knowing we will someday be with our babies and just knowing that they are loved on by Jesus ( I like to picture all the children on His lap and being loved by the God who is love). We are just sojourners passing through until He comes back and we spend eternity together. What a blessing to be called His children.
    This spoke volumes to me after we lost our son in 2001. 1 John 4:18 I hope it blesses you.

    Shannon in Texas

  • The Crowders

    praying

  • The Crowders

    praying

  • amy and kids

    I just found your blog last night and stayed up til almost 3 a.m. reading most of your previous entries. I cried and cried as I read the pain but also the trust and love in God in your posts. I don’t know that I could go through the same trial and come out of it the way that you have but because of you my eyes have really been opened to see the real God that loves us and takes care of us, even in the worst of circumstances. Thank you for sharing your story of Audrey and of your love for God! I am praying for your family and also Nicol and Greg.

  • BluRayn

    You are all in my prayers, thank you for the updates and the stark honesty of your posts!

  • Troy & Tara Livesay

    add me to the praying list

  • Irish Coffeehouse

    Praying they hear God’s lead through all the emotions and everything else that may stand in the path to His words.

  • Elizabeth

    praying…forevermore for both your families.

  • Tammi

    I have praying, and will continue to pray for you and Todd, and Greg and Nicol.Thank you for sharing your prayer requests and allowing us to get to know you.

    My husband and I saw Todd in concert with Selah on May 17. I was amazed by his strength and courage.

    May I share one of my favorite Bible verses and a poem with you?

    Isaiah 41:10

    “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will up hold you with my righteous right hand.”

    I wrote this after reading some poems written Ruth Bell Graham:

    One night after the rain
    God left a rainbow.
    Bright against the gray sky–
    A wonderful picture,
    A promise,
    An I Love You.

    Thank you for sharing with us and for letting us know how to pray for you and your family. Tammi

  • j

    praying…

  • m&nmom04

    I have been following your story for the last 3 months and have cried (sometimes out of sadness, sometimes out of joy) each time I read a new post. I want you to know that even though this is the first time I am actually posting a comment, I have been with you all in my prayers. My heart has broken time and time again for your entire family. Thank you for sharing your family and your life with us… strangers, yet brothers and sisters in Christ. Your words are so sweet and your faith so strong. I yearn to be as close to God as you are. Please know I am praying every day for your family and I love you all!

  • Ronna

    I just studied verse 5 of this Psalm in my Beth Moore study: Blessed are those who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

    We are not residents here, we are aliens, pilgrims, on our way to our home where others from our family already reside.

    Praying.

  • Lisa

    praying.

  • The Feasters

    Praying right now.

  • Marcie

    praying…

    Angie you are just beautiful. Thank you so much for your beautiful, beautiful heart.

    (trying to see how many times I can type beautiful in one comment. Three’s not too bad:)

  • Alex

    Praying, praying, praying…

    My God bless you all and give you the strength to get through these difficult times.

  • Angie (Angelica Grace Designs)
  • Annabelle

    I just came across your blog today from a friend of mine’s blog (Life as we Know it). I just want you to know that I’m praying for both you and your family…you have been through so much this year. I have decided to keep up with your blog and have subscribed to you!

    Blessings,
    Annabelle @ Christian Momma

  • HP & Diane

    Praying… Your messages are so powerful.. thank you!

  • kingfamily

    I just spent all night reading your entire story. Thank you! God is so good.
    Praying…
    Brandi

  • Melissa Irwin

    that video wrecked me

    …praying…

  • Michael, Karen, Morgan, J.D. & Levi

    Continuing to be in my family’s prayers and the prayers of my women’s bible study group…may they be lifted to the Lord and their burdens become His.

  • Kimberly

    Praying through tears.

    Nicol’s song was so beautiful and tender.

    I will pray Ps. 84 for Nicol and Greg, and the entire family. Thanks for sharing the specificity of the prayer, too. I will also be praying it for my sweet sister and her husband, who lost their 14-month old daughter in an accident 7 months ago this Monday.

  • knittingirl

    On my knees… praying.

  • Court

    praying in Houston, TX!

  • Sunshine Huffman

    I’m so inspired to love God more, thank you for your blog.
    Praying,
    Sunshine

  • Emily A. Clark

    Praying.

  • Katie

    praying…fervently…

  • Q’s NEWS

    Praying……

  • [hannah]*

    I had a conversation with my Aunt the other day about how the body of Christ is so amazing in the fact that people all over the world, not knowing each other, possbily never meeting on Earth, praying. She lost her husband to cancer when their baby was only 2 months old and over these years people who she never met will meet her and say “I heard about your story and I’ve been praying for you for years.” Amazing. God is faithful. He will be again.

    PRAYING.

  • Kelly Vaughn

    praying

  • Amy

    Praying.

    Amy in MN

  • Kendra

    Angie,
    I go to Grace also, and ironically, I found your blog through a CaringBridge site I visit of a woman who lives in Michigan. (When I visited this site for the first time, I kept staring at the pictures wondering why I recognized the people in them.) I want you to know that I have been so moved by all your posts. I’ve shared your site with other Christians and seekers, too, because you make yourself accessible and real and make our Lord accessible and real, too. Thank you for that. I also have to tell you that as a former English teacher, I love your words. You craft them so well.

    I will introduce myself at church some time. God bless you, friend.

  • hollandfamily4

    praying right now!

  • Aunt Rhody

    Thank you God our Father, that this is a pilgrimage from strength to strength–ours to Yours. Let us not go back again to ours, but fully rely on You. Thank you for strengthening these marriages, for restoring the years the worms have eaten, for bringing victory. In Jesus’ name

  • LaVon Baker

    praying Psalm 84

  • Sara

    I know I’ve already posted to say I’m praying, but I can’t stop clicking back here to listen to her as she’s holding her boy. I just want to wrap my arms around her and hold her in place, stopping time from coming. Please let her know how much we all care and are praying. For you both.

  • Lindsay

    Praying, praying, praying…

  • Mrs. D

    Praying… Also for the memories of the night of his death. My baby was stillborn at 35 weeks and as time goes by (it has been a year) the memories do fade, but the pleasent and joyful ones stay and continue to replay.

  • The Kahler Family

    Praying.

    Your family is in my thought often, after all of the pain you have endured.
    The video is very moving. Nicol has a beautiful voice.

  • Karen

    http://www.jaymun.com/journal/
    Jaymun’s Journey – Fighting Leukemia

    This brother could use a word of encouragement-

  • michelledianne

    praying

  • Jamey

    Praying. Your blog has been such a gift to me. Thank You

  • Beckycain6

    Praying…..

    Simply praying.

    *This clip is hard to watch. I feel broken-hearted. I am reading a good book that teaches you how to praise God inside the storm. How to wrap yourself so tightly into God’s love, that you can weather the pain and the hurt and the suffering.

    Although it hurts, praise be to God.

    With tender love,
    Becky Cain

  • Tricia Moran

    Angie, Praying. And praying. For all of you.
    With love,
    Tricia and Family (N.VA)
    irishsamomspeaks.blogspot.com

  • Alice

    praying

  • Beckycain6

    One more thing,

    Vs 12: Oh Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

    We’ve got to get that and let it penetrate, or we just won’t make it. We’ve got to trust in Him. We’ve just got to.

    I love each of you.

  • Ashley Gibson

    Praying

  • Crafty girl stuck working in the real world

    Praying, always praying…

  • Jenlyn

    Wow. What a sisterhood of pilgrims. And thank you, Angie, for helping us to set our hearts on pilgrimage.

    And tell Nicol thank you as well; there was a very dark time in my life about a year and a half ago where I wanted to end it. I was so tired, tired of trying. Anyways, the song Resurrection ministered to me powerfully. It reminded me that God can bring beauty from ashes. It can take something so desparately broken and make it whole and better again.
    He is doing it for you and I know he will do it for Nicol.

    Your valleys of bitterness will become springs, you will have a garment of praise instead of mourning. And I feel so glad knowing those times will come for you both!

    Love
    a sister in Christ

  • mandy-marie

    praying…

  • MandyJo013078

    Praying for Nicol & Greg.

    Also praying for A.F. who I’ve found to be such a loving, caring and inspiring soul.

    Your post touched my heart Angie, I hope you have a wonderful day.

  • Shelly

    Praying for all that you have mentioned. God will lead them through this. My cousin died in a tragic accident at home at age 7. My aunt and uncle lived in that house for many years, and I always wondered how, why. They are still together – 32 years after their loss.

    Praying.

  • Party of Five

    praying for your families and crying from the blessing of your posts

  • Aimee

    Praying!

  • Karen and Shane

    Praying.

    Thanks for sharing the video, you can just feel that the presence of the Lord was there.

    I am blessed by your heart.

    - Karen in Texas

  • LeAllison

    Praying! Such an inspiration to all!

  • georgia tarheel

    Praying-oh praying so hard for you both!

    Paige

  • Tara

    I have read your blog from the beginning. Your faith and love is so profound, it is a true blessing. Each and every one of you has been in my prayers and will continue to be in my prayers.

  • Kathy

    Angie, What an AMAZING testimony you have. Through all your heartaches you continue to Praise and Worship God. I myself have not lost a child but my bestfriend/sister has, and as heart and soul crushing as it is for me I know she is going through much much more!!I thank you GREATLY for sharing your life stories and even more than that the TREMENDOUS Faith you have. I have sent my sister the link to your blog in hopes of her seeing someone have faith when it seems like there is no hope. She has lost her faith right now, I just pray your words touch her as they have me. I THANK YOU!! and continue to pray for you and your BEAUTIFUL family everyday!

  • Lauren

    Praying unceasingly…

  • Chris & Emily

    praying

  • saved

    Still praying here Dear one! Yes each of your marriages is so vital for us to lift up to God for the strength to hold together. The pain is so deep and satin will and does attack in this area when we are down. As for where or if they can go home. To me our home was a comfort even though my son was not at home when God took him home. But my husband on the other hand got to the point he could not stay we stayed for almost two year. The move was good the right thing to do . At first we rented out the house we had lived in it our children whole lives. For him to just go there, I could see it was to hurtful. I told him we needed to sell! He knew it was a comfort to me to go there, at first he said no . I told him it wasn’t worth the pain it brought him. Loving from afar praying, praising Celie

  • Mashel

    wow, I am post number 571, that is truly amazing Angie. You are such a vessel of God’s love and amazing grace. I am praying that Psalm, not only for Luke’s parents, but for you.
    “Better is one day in His courts, better is one day in His house, better is one day in His courts then thousands elswhere”
    I love that song and singing that song, will forever remind me of you beautiful post.

  • Tim E

    Will continue to pray.

  • Crystal

    Praying!

  • Amy in Ohio

    praying

  • Cara

    Praying…

  • Amy J.

    Angie,
    Praying…

    Through your unwavering faith, you have stirred feelings in my heart that I have not felt in a long time. I long to be closer to HIM, and I long to be in HIS courts. I long for the close relationship with HIM that you have.

    Thank you for being so transparent during this difficult time in your life.

    In HIM,
    Amy J.

  • Michelle

    Praying.

  • jenny mae.

    praying and praying and praying.

  • Stephanie

    Praying! I commit to lift you up not only in my daily prayers, but every time I hold my seven-month old little blessing I think of you and how grateful I am to have him and his 2 1/2 year old sister. God is using your experience to speak to many, specifically in my life to show me how a relationship with God can be. I am striving to get there in my own life.

    Texas

  • Andrea

    Praying.

    Angie, I find myself checking your blog several times a day to see if you have made an update. I long to hear your words of inspiration and to help carry your grief.

    I am not a religious person at all, I tried but it didn’t take. However your deep faith (in spite of, or because of your losses) has touched me and made me open myself up to see the miracles of each day.

    Thank you so much for sharing yourself with me and the world.

  • Amanda

    praying.

  • Laura

    praying and standing with you

  • Keet, Hillary and Cole

    I prayed for Greg and Nicol quite a bit last night as I was going to sleep. I am not sure why the Lord sent them to my mind at that specific time, but He did and I lifted them up in prayer.

  • Sara

    praying…

  • Jess

    praying.

  • bjhorton

    Angie, thank you so much for your example. I pray for you each day and pray that you continue to be such an example for what you believe. I am so sorry for what you and your family and little Luke’s family have been through…please know that what a blessing your stories are for someone that had lost touch with God. Thank you for such strength in such a tough time for your family. You continue to inspire me!

  • CG, E3 & Sons

    Praying.

    xo

  • Kristin

    praying…

  • jen

    praying

  • Heather

    I’ve never commented before, but wanted you and Greg and Nicol to know I am praying too.

  • Julie

    Angie,

    I’m so encouraged by your writing. This study on the Valley of Baca has been divinely timed for what I’m going through right now. My husband and I have been married for 4 years and we’ve been trying to have a baby for the past 2 years. We did get pregnant last year and lost it around 8 weeks so we’re petitioning for another miracle. Thanks for sharing this and know that you and your family as well as the Sponbergs are in my prayers! God is mighty and He will give us peace that surpasses no understanding. Be blessed!

  • Courtney

    praying.

    Thank you also for the resource. I did not know about the website. I spent a long time checking it out last night.

  • four little blessings

    We are praying.

    Angie, I want you to know that even though we have never met, you have touched my life.

    Tonight my husband took our two sons to a ball game. I decided to take our daughters (ages 2 yrs and 5 weeks) to the local ice cream shop. As we ate our cones, a man not much older than me walked in. As he placed his order, he continued to glance at my newborn in her sling. Finally, he walked over and asked to see the baby. Before I read your posts, I may have hesitated… she was asleep, he was a stranger… the reasons abound.

    I unwrapped her for him to see. He took in each and every angle of her. Then he quietly said ” you have beautiful girls”. I thanked him. He mentioned, ” We had three girls”, Me– “We have two boys, two girls”… he haltingly said “I lost a daughter, this was my favorite age, so trusting, so helpless.” I looked him in the eyes, and said “Be sure, I am treasuring each moment with her!”.

    Angie, thank you for your openess. Thank you for your strong faith, and thank you for sharing with us, so that we might not miss the blessing God presents us with each day. May God continue to work through you!

    Tammy

  • Kristen

    praying. hard.

  • tracie

    Continuing to pray …

  • Matt

    praying

  • Susan

    Hey Angie,

    6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs…

    Now if I was obedient to the HS I planned on leaving that very scripture on your last post!!

    Now, that would of really blown you away…(especially after the other quote after your post!)

    Angie I’m praying here, faithfully.

    You have truly made your valley a spring and we all drink from it each time we come to your blog♥

    Thanks Angie, God is truly glorified~

  • Katie

    My dear Angie,
    I feel as though I know you. I came upon your blog today after finding it on another blog’s link of “people to pray for.” I have read the entire thing beginning to end, alternately laughing and crying, feeling hopeful and then crushed for a family and a beautiful baby that I did not know, and finaly feeling at peace. I was heartbroken when I read about baby Luke after everything else that your family has endured. I thought of my own precious baby boy asleep in the next room and went in to give him an extra kiss and to say a prayer of thanks for his life and of healing for Luke’s family. You will all be in my daily prayers now. What a precious legacy your daughter Audrey has left. I can only imagine your loss as a fellow mother. I am so grateful that your family knows God, the same God that is holding Audrey and Luke in his loving arms. You have the faith and peace that one day you will be with your baby again. The photos are absolutely breathtaking. Praying for you all as you continue on your journey.
    In Him,
    Katie

  • Joni

    praying….

  • mkesner

    Praying and healing with you…we lost our daughter on July 3, 2000. Your blog has provided comfort and encouragement for me. You are one amazing woman and I know your strength is in the Lord. May he comfort and provide peace for both of your families during these dark days…the sun will shine again!!

  • Erin

    praying. and praying. and praying.

  • Kadee11

    praying.

  • Christi

    praying

  • Jennifer

    Praying…

  • Beth

    praying

  • Kelly

    Praying…

  • Lola

    praying

  • Julie from Washburn, ME

    Continuing to pray for Nicol, Greg, Summer and the enitre family. I think of them every day!

    Angie, your words are a true blessing to me, God Bless You!!!

  • kendra

    Hi Angie,
    I had read this entry when you posted it earlier in the week, but wanted to wait to comment until I could honor your request fully. So this morning, I got a fresh cup of coffee and sat down in my quiet, still house to reflect over this scripture and pray for Greg, Nicol, and Summer.
    May our Lord bless them with His spirit through these prayers, and may He bless you for your faithfulness and trust in Him and His power to heal.
    Lots of love,
    Kendra (Portland Or)

  • Cathy

    It hurt to read about Luke. In January, a close friend lost her six-month-old son the same way. We support a missionary couple who lost three before keeping one. Some years ago my cousin lost twins, one in utero, one during the birth.

    I’ve had three miscarriages, each very early in the pregnancy–I’d hardly had time to know I was pregnant.

    Last fall my toddler, who was then 21 months, was life-flighted to a children’s hospital an hour away. He’d had bronchiolitis, which we now know was worsened by an asthma condition we hadn’t known he had.

    My son lived. So many babies haven’t. God has blessed us with ten children when so many others struggle just to have one. I thank God every day for my children. But I still hurt for those who have lost theirs.

    But here’s a hurt you haven’t had yet. I hope you never have it. It’s the hurt of watching your child slowly walk away from God because the things of this world have crowded into the place He should have in that child’s heart. That’s where I am with my oldest.

    May God continue to use you to encourage others.

    By the way, I know what you mean about wanting to know the real people behind all the comments you get. I’m not nearly the writer you are, but you can see the real me on my blog.

  • Vonda

    praying

  • Scott

    Praying!!!

  • jilljohnandhope

    Praying

  • The Borchgardt Bunch

    May you each feel God hold you in the palm of his hand with a peace that transcends all understanding and his grace poured out upon you in your darkest hour. May the LIGHT shine with in you brightly so that the world may see your eternal perspective even in the midst of grief, loss and suffering. May God be a healing balm to each of your families that he lavishes upon you all at this time. Know you are prayed for! What a witness you each are daily.

  • maggieallen123

    Thank you so much for the update, I have been wondering how Nicol, Greg, and Summer were doing. There is one thing I KNOW for sure is that God is so faithful to help us in our time of need. When my mother died I asked Him to please help me to not remember those last few hours and days of her death. It seemed like every time I shut my eyes that is all I could think of…after I prayed for God to take that from me because I couldn’t carry those thougths any longer…He did just that…He helped me not remember…over the following days I could sleep in peace….that will be my prayer for all of you – for God to be faithful in your lives as well as help you not remember the bad memories. I believe God does want us to pray for SPECIFIC things…especially when those specific things are outlined in HIS WORD. Thank you for your words Angie…you are one of the most transparent people I have ever “met”….truly amazing. I am praying! Becky

  • Lallee

    It is a privilege to pray for Greg and Nicole. Thank you for some details to know better how to pray specifically. Psalm 84–perfect. I continue to pray for all of you. God hugs!

  • Cindy

    praying

  • Cornelius Crew

    praying

  • Heidi Zawisza

    NO words. Praying.

  • Carla

    Praying.

  • Kirsten

    praying…

  • Kirsten

    Thank you for showing us to dig in to the word on-line. The Valley of Baca means so much more to me know. Thank you!

  • Misty

    praying with all my heart

  • Allyson

    Praying for you all!

  • Shannon

    praying…

  • Sean and Tiffany

    Praying with all my heart!

  • amy smith

    praying in iowa….
    better is one day.

  • Jen

    Praying, praying, praying. Every part of me is praying. Thank you for your words.

  • "The Verhulsts"

    Praying, hard. Also, while reading an earlier post about mommies not being able to tuck their angel babies in, I was presented with a beautiful picture in my mind of my grandmother who passed away when I was a baby. She LOVED babies and I know she, along with many other mothers who passed away too young are rocking, holding, and loving those babies alongside of Jesus. I hope this image brings comfort.

  • Ashley

    praying

  • julijoy

    Praying…

  • drewsmom

    praying, praying, praying…

  • Chocaholic

    You continue to inspire me and challenge me in my walk with God. Thank you so much for that! I’m praying for your friend and for Nicol & Greg….

  • goodtwin

    Praying these prays for ALL of you.

  • wendy

    Praying. Thanks for the verse…there is such beauty in the Word. Thank You, LORD, for the words we need to heal our hearts. There is nothing we can’t do without You.

  • Kay B

    I know I am very late on posting my comment but I wanted to let you know that I have been praying. I read the crosswalk commentaries on Ps 84. I know there is something more that God is trying to tell me there – our Pastor used this verse in his sermon last Sunday. I will continue to read and meditate on this awhile longer.

    Also, it is funny how connected we all are. I clicked you link for Adrienne and realized that this is the same Adrienne who adopted from Russia at the same time and place we did. Hers was one of the blogs that I followed regularly through our adoption journey. I hadn’t checked in with her for quite a while. I am praying for her too.

    I love your blog

    Kay B
    in San Antonio, TX

  • Kenzie Bell

    angie, i’m prying

  • D & A

    praying!

  • Alysa

    Thank you for reminding me of what a GLORIOUS and MAGNIFICENT place my little “bean” is in.

    Thank you also for encouraging and nudging me to get back to diving into scripture.

    Praying…

  • Amy

    praying for all of the sweet babies and the parents that miss them desperately…

  • Alice

    Praying here in London, England. The video clip was beautiful and heartbreaking, watching Nicol sing with Luke in her arms. Praying with all my heart for you all. xxx

  • dlyn

    Still praying for all of you…

  • Dana and Scott

    praying

  • Amy Call

    praying…

  • Julie

    I finally was able to come see this video, so moving there are no words. I am praying for Nicol right now.