Dealing with criticism

Now That’s Just Ugly…

Alright you all. We have reached a sad milestone on my blog. I tend to stay away from even mentioning this kind of stuff because it’s so rare and to be honest, it just doesn’t really seem like I’m being a good steward of this blog if I’m complaining about things like this.


I received several e-mails this morning (as did my friend Jess) alerting us to the fact that someone had decided to go on a little rampage and leave some Christian-hating, swear-word infused, extremely cruel comments on my blog. By the time Jess let me know (thank you Ann Voskamp for the head’s up and for caring for me so sweetly…), she had already deleted them and banned the IP address associated with whomever it was. I didn’t think it was in my best interest to read them based on what she shared so I told her to just get rid of them. I apologize if you were exposed to them.

Here’s how I deal with the negative stuff (because it WILL happen on occasion. It’s just life…). Every single negative comment I have seen about me or my blog has the potential to include something that might be true. Whether or not someone meant to be hateful is kind of irrelevant if there is a greater lesson that I am being taught about my integrity. Off the top of my head I can only think of three such occasions, where I felt someone came after me in an inappropriate manner but after reading and praying, I felt that there was actually a truth that I needed to deal with. In each of those cases, I contacted the person directly and we began a relationship. I am blessed to have all three of those women in my life to this day. Sometimes I think people just feel freedom to say things from behind a keyboard that they wouldn’t in real life, and I will not tell you that I ignore it because I don’t. I see it, and it hurts me because I am human and don’t have as thick of skin as I would like to have 🙂

With that said (and my point to all of this…) I would like to reiterate something I have said before on here and will repeat as often as necessary. You are free to contact me if you have issues you want to discuss or questions about anything I put on here-it’s public, and if I didn’t want it to be, I wouldn’t share. So I think that’s fair game. BUT.


If you ever, ever, ever say something about my daughter that is anything less than respectful, you will be banned. Period. I have no interest in allowing that sort of thing here, and frankly, it disgusts me that a deceased child could be the victim of someone’s tirade. It’s the first time this kind of thing has happened where it warranted a response like this, and I hope it doesn’t happen again. In the event that you see that it has, please flag the comment and I (or Jess or Ann or someone) will address it.

I’m a very nice girl and it takes quite a bit to ruffle my feathers, but this? No. Not acceptable.

I thought I was fortunate enough to have heard about it before my dad did, but that wasn’t the case. In fact, he was so angry that he didn’t sleep last night 🙁

This whole post doesn’t apply to 99.9% of you, but so many of you had written me emails today that I thought it would be easier to just mention it here.

I’m going to pray for the person who said these horrible things about Audrey, but I want to confess something to you all. As I have processed this today I want to be honest and tell you that this wasn’t my natural inclination. I know it should be, but it wasn’t. I’m her mother and I won’t stand for it.

I’m fair game. You don’t have to like me, my religion, my choices, or anything I write (I hope you do, though…have I mentioned I’m a total people-pleaser? Gulp. :)) I choose to write this blog and sometimes that means having to confront things I don’t want to. Thankfully, I feel like it has made me a better mom, wife, writer, and Christian because the “criticism” has almost always come with genuine love and concern (For example, I posted a picture of Charlotte in a sling that some people were concerned about. They let me know they were concerned and I just didn’t think it was worth the risk based on what they were saying, so I bought a safer wrap to keep her in until she was older. I didn’t feel that they were trying to bash me, but just help me with loving advice. But not in the Sister-Wives kind of way. Did anyone see that last night? WHOA.)

I have derailed.

The whole point was to say thank you for loving me so well, and for those of you who want to say ugly things about innocent babies, I think your bus is now leaving the station.


I will be back soon with something more fun soon….:) And don’t feel like you need to defend me or even address this in the comments…I am totally fine. Just wanted to let you know what the scoop was since it was the first time we have dealt with it. I so appreciate you all!!!

We will be at Focus on the Family all day tomorrow so I will try to send out some Twitter pics. You all have a great Tuesday!

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