Luke, Uncategorized

Sweet Baby James

I know there are stories all around us that make us hit the floor weeping for strangers, but this was one that wrapped my heart up inside it. Some of you may have seen a tweet I sent out asking for prayer for a sweet little 8 month old boy named James.  A few weeks ago he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and just yesterday he went to be with the Lord.

There are times where I look at a little face, a little dimple, or, in his case a WHOLE lot of gorgeous hair and I am stripped bare with grief. Why, Lord? Why?

In many of his newborn photos he reminds me of my nephew Luke, who also had a head of hair that made women swoon as they reached for him.

And as this family grieves, I find myself grieving as well. A stranger, yes, but not in spirit. And I know all of the beautiful, perfect things I am supposed to say to a “stranger” in this position, but at the end of the day I am weeping and all I want is for it to be different. I want them to have the rest of their summer with him, and then fall and winter for years to come. I want them to hide his toes in the sand and listen to him giggle and learn what his favorite games were.

And all of us baby-loss mothers, we just have these darned pieces. Some are jagged, others soft enough to cradle until we realize they are not the real thing.

I’m broken tonight for them, and I am asking the Lord to let me bear a little of their burden. Will you join me please?

I am not going to attach any photos or anything else personal here because I have not requested to do so and I don’t want to impinge upon their processing, but they do have a blog set up and if you would like to offer prayer on their behalf I can imagine they would appreciate it.

Here is the link:

May God sustain them as they walk this road….it will certainly never be the same but I pray they feel the light of His face shining on them as they go.

With so much love, disappointment, and urging to the throne of God…


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  • Reply Jamie @ Six Bricks High July 18, 2011 at 3:36 am

    This makes my heart ache.  I’m praying too.

  • Reply Connie L Amato-Mahle July 18, 2011 at 4:28 am

    Oh Angie.

    I read this and my heart sank.  A loss beyond word’s measure.  My heart and prayers are with this dear sweet family. 

    May they feel God’s hands on each of their shoulders…

  • Reply Lynn Worley July 18, 2011 at 6:24 am

    Your subject just took my breath away. 16 years ago I lost my James. I never got to get to know him at all. I know how deeply this hits you, too. Yes, the family’s in pain and will miss their precious son until the day they die. But! This sweet little child will never know any pain or suffering. He’ll never cry! He’ll never feel the guilt of sin. He’s in the arms of His Savior perfectly happy to an extent that we can never, ever begin to comprehend even the tiniest fraction of it. The Lord will get this family through this and He will turn this tragedy around for good to help others!
    Praying so hard for all who are grieving!
    Psalms 27:1, 4-5 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?…One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  • Reply Southern Gal July 18, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Thank you for making us aware of the need.  Praying for the family.

  • Reply Buckeyenp July 18, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    i went there after you tweeted it about it the first time.  What a heartbreak.  No words.

  • Reply Jessica Pence July 18, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    I sit here holding my just now 9 month old James (we call him Jamesie too), crying for those parents, not holding their son.  Thank you for the link.  I can only imagine the pain of losing a child and am sending up my prayers.

  • Reply Melissa M. July 18, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    Kara is one of my good friends from high school. Thank you so much for sharing this with everyone, I know they are so thankful for all the love, support, and prayers they have received.

  • Reply Jennifer Kisrow July 18, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Angie, I understand about pieces, for even your story helped heal even more my old pieces, I thought I had dealt with, yet the Lord knows the timing and healing continues, Bless you and thank you for sharing about this family , I will be praying for them !

  • Reply Shawna Vogl July 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    Thank you for sharing this Angie. Right before I came to your blog, I checked another blog I follow of a family who lost their baby 19 months ago — I have poured over their blog many times but while reading new posts today I saw those same pictures in the sidebar that I have seen many times and my heart just broke again. I have not experienced the loss of a child so I cannot feel that with them but my heart breaks for them and you and all the other parents out there who have lost their little ones. I hate that these little ones have to die. I hate that any parent has to lose a child. I know that God is good and God is love and He is watching over all of those who have lost and all of those who have gone on and all of us period, but I still have a hard time with the fact that death and pain happen. I wish I could explain how much seeing your same feelings immediately after feeling all of that myself — down to the description of your pain for a stranger and your emotional reaction at a picture — you’re being where I was emotionally — I really can’t put into words that impact. I am praying for this family, for their pain and grief and for God’s comfort for them as they begin this difficult journey.  I still pray for you too and all the others whose little ones have gone on before them. Thank you for being so open with your emotions and your faith. I truly appreciate you letting God use your story and your honesty to help others.

  • Reply Sheryl Blaise July 18, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    James’ mother is a friend of my niece and I have been reading the blog for a few weeks now. I thought of you when I read he passed away, and then clicked over to your blog to see if you had a new post up. I was surprised to see that it was about him, but glad to know that you are familiar with this family.  In fact I was thinking of sending you a link myself.  I pray to God that I will never have to deal with losing a child like Kara and you have.  You are an inspiration!

  • Reply Erin July 19, 2011 at 12:14 am

    Yes, I have seen this.  Heartbreaking.

  • Reply Lizreeves2 July 19, 2011 at 2:32 am

    I saw your tweet about it last night & went over to their blog & read it from the beginning.  Heartbroken!

  • Reply Coby July 19, 2011 at 2:59 am

    I can’t even begin to imagine their pain and heartbreak.  I am praying for them.

  • Reply Teske July 19, 2011 at 3:09 am

    Praying in Iowa for this precious family.  The Mommies with Hope groups in our area are meeting this week and we will be sure to lift them up to the Lord as they grieve sweet James.  


  • Reply Alyson July 20, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    My heart aches for them. I can not imagine what this beautiful family is going through, what any family that has lost a child has gone through. Sending up prayers for them. How I pray they feel the love, peace and comfort they need during this time.

  • Reply Anonymous July 21, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    I clicked over and read some of the blog the other night. It still hurts and always will hurt knowing that I have a baby not here with me.  The pictures still seem incomplete. When I read that this family bought 3 burial plots at once I burst into tears. Why had I never thought about this? Did you and Todd do the same? Will you be buried with Audrey? We had Joslyn buried in ‘babyland’ at a local cemetary. It was offered to us free of charge and I didn’t even begin to know what else to do. I regret that decision a lot (they don’t maintain this babyland very well and they’ve let me know that I can complain all I want but remind me that I didn’t pay for it) and have thought about having her moved very often.  Adam and I talked briefly about it the other night but we are not at a point financially where we can go out and buy 3 plots.  Anyways, I’m just curious what y’all did. =)

  • Reply Dbonjovi July 21, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    Thank you for the link to this family.  My heart aches so much for them.  He was so precious and beautiful.  They are in my prayers. 

  • Reply 3KittiesMom115 July 23, 2011 at 3:45 am

    Will you please consider having your type in a different color?  This color is hard to see. In fact the sidebar color is also quite dim.  Making it larger on my screen doesn’t help.  The contrast is just too light.

    Thank you.

  • Reply Jana Kimmel August 24, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Thankyou for posting this blog. My husband and I had identical twin boys in June at 25 weeks.  We lost our sweet Carter  25 minutes after he was born and his brother Cohen is in the NICU. We have heard stories of other families that have lost babies and I too feel the need to grieve for and with them. Since we lost our baby, I feel like I just want to reach out and hug other people that have lost their babies. I know what it feels like and I wish no one else had to know. I am definitely keeping this family in my prayers as they go through this incredible loss.  Many people say “I can’t imagine what you are going through”, but in this case, although our situations are different, I CAN imagine what they are going through. And it isn’t easy at all.  But, thankfully we have hope in the Lord that we will see our babies again one day and that he is taking care of them until we can hold them in our arms again. Do you or anyone else on this blog have any book suggestions (other than your “I Will Carry You” of course) for dealing with the loss of a child? Thanks!

    • Reply ACross August 26, 2011 at 9:17 pm

      The One Year Book of Hope is great.

  • Reply Sheila September 2, 2011 at 9:42 am

    Death period is hard on those left behind.  Those of us that lost loved ones are those that will understand and offer each other the greatest hope and comfort.  I have lost a child, died while carrying and lost my husband as well.  God is our great hope, through His Son we have an eternal home and hope.  May His grace be as real as ever to all who grieve, may you be graced by others the time to mourn freely.  Love to all.

  • Reply melody September 2, 2011 at 11:25 am

    I had lost this blog and just found you yesterday. Your words are so up lifting to me..
    On your necklace I would enjoy seeing these words each time I wear it…peace, hope, and strength…..thank you~~~~~

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